Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 03-04-2016, 06:05 PM   #41
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Toronto
Posts: 1,414
What? Woman can't take her new husband's name?! Total disregard for tradition. Next thing you know they'll ban wearing hijabs!

Actually I had dinner with a Quebecois in Mexico a couple of weeks ago and he proudly pointed out this law. (The one concerning names that is. Though he gave the impression that he would be really happy with the hijab law too)
__________________

__________________
6miths is online now   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 03-04-2016, 06:08 PM   #42
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Toronto
Posts: 1,414
And yes the story of Debi Thomas was very sad. And I too am very eager to know the common cure for laziness, mental illness, obesity and whatever that other ailment was.
__________________

__________________
6miths is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2016, 07:16 PM   #43
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
braumeister's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Northern Kentucky
Posts: 8,591
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh View Post
In royal families, male consorts often adopt their wife's last name. Examples include Prince Philip (UK) who became a Windsor, and Prince Daniel (Sweden) who became a Bernadotte.
I know a woman who was the last of a family that owned a fairly large brewery. She wanted to get married, and her father (who still ran it) said he would consent only if her prospective husband changed his name to hers, in order to keep the family name on it for more generations. Otherwise, he would sell the brewery, which was still quite profitable. The prospective groom agreed, and it has worked out fine.
__________________
braumeister is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2016, 07:59 PM   #44
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 5,326
Quote:
Originally Posted by 6miths View Post
And yes the story of Debi Thomas was very sad. And I too am very eager to know the common cure for laziness, mental illness, obesity and whatever that other ailment was.
Not sure about the others, but for obesity maybe it is gut bacteria?
How Gut Bacteria Help Make Us Fat and Thin - Scientific American

Since medication can bring on compulsive gambling and a diving accident can make someone a musical prodigy, perhaps there is more to many mental conditions (good and bad) than simply choice and free will.

Laziness can be caused by a lack of vitamin B12, a lack of sleep, anemia or any one of hundreds of other conditions not linked specifically to simply personal choice and free will.
__________________
Even clouds seem bright and breezy, 'Cause the livin' is free and easy, See the rat race in a new way, Like you're wakin' up to a new day (Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether lyrics, Alan Parsons Project, based on an EA Poe story)
daylatedollarshort is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2016, 08:01 PM   #45
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Northern IL
Posts: 18,264
Quote:
Originally Posted by jollystomper View Post
The Washington Post recently had a similar story about Debi Thomas, former U.S. and world figure skating champion, and Olympic medalist. Graduated from Stanford and went on to become an orthopedic surgeon. Now bankrupt and living in a trailer.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local...561_story.html
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh View Post
Oh no! Debi Thomas was one of my heroines. This is so sad. Clearly she has bipolar disorder.
Very sad. DW is the one who follows figure skating, so I see some of it. I certainly recall Debi Thomas (was it that long ago!?) - I recall being impressed by her quiet confidence. Being an Afro-American in figure skating made her stand out in that crowd too. And I do recall now being aware at the time that she was at Stanford, and going for an MD (or engineering degree?). Smart, pretty, Olympic level achievement? Amazing!

Holy cow, full time at Stanford, medical degree, AND Olympic contender at the same time? Incredible!

It really makes you wonder - did a bi-polar disorder (it says she has fought against that diagnosis) allow her to have these periods of achievement, followed by a downfall? Or was it that the constant pursuit of perfection, no failure allowed, was so ingrained in her, that getting by in the 'normal' world, where you realistically need to say "this is good enough" and move on, just clashed, and she could not adapt, and had to 'tune out'?

And on to NorthWestern (not far from here), and a practice in Champaign (family members went to school there) makes it all seem a bit 'closer to home'.

Stories like this make me feel pretty satisfied about being mediocre. Though, I guess it's better to be famous and burn out, than to just burn out. But sad that all that capability couldn't come together for her.

-ERD50
__________________
ERD50 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2016, 08:11 PM   #46
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
NW-Bound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,401
Both stories are fascinating, the OP's about the chemist, and the one about Debi Thomas.

About the chemist, he had some unidentified problems and just dropped out of work.

Quote:
By 2004, he said, he was unhappy in his job and living on the East Side of Manhattan. When his mother, who was living in Arizona, had a stroke that year, he said, he took a three-month leave of absence, and never went back. Why not? Perhaps, he speculated, the trauma of 9/11 had affected him. And, he said, he had been unable to find a position close to his old rank. “They wanted someone cheap,” he said. “They weren’t going to pay $115,000 for a bench chemist.”

He moved to Brooklyn and took a job with Barnes & Noble in Park Slope that paid about $10 an hour. He also managed to run up $40,000 in credit card debt. How?

“Going out, eating,” he said. “Like I was still making $115,000.”
And the story about Debi Thomas is even stranger.

I guess neither of them was good at managing money. To be burned out at work is really not that unusual. How many of us quit our job when we were on top of our career, commanding the highest salary we ever made? But we had a plan before we quit. Some people just throw in the towel, while having no safety flotation devices. It's sad to see an achiever like Debi Thomas being so destitute. She's only 48 now, so not that old.

Yes, people who are homeless or in financial destitution usually have a mental problem. I have seen plenty of immigrants from 3rd-world countries who do not do badly, and they are still not fluent in English.
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that can happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky
NW-Bound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2016, 08:22 PM   #47
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Northern IL
Posts: 18,264
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh View Post
You completely misunderstood me. As a feminist, I would have little respect for anyone who disrespected and forgot my name, unless of course he had dementia. Being labeled as "the woman" would be my exit ticket from that relationship. I refuse to be any man's chattel. I am a self sufficient single woman. I am damn proud of my name, and even if I were to marry, I would keep it.
But aren't there other cases of temporary amnesia? I seem to recall (if I can trust my own memory!) of a case just recently (maybe on this forum?) - the person was just 'out of it' for a day, couldn't remember much of anything. And then they got over it - no long term affect, apparently.

edit/add: This is what I was thinking of:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transient_global_amnesia


And most of us have the occasional 'brain phart'. Sometimes it is super awkward, so you say something to fill in the gap, like 'little woman', 'the wife', etc. Yes, they sound terrible, but we have probably heard them spoken by a previous generation, so when you draw a blank, you fill in with the first thing that pops in your mind. I think you should have a little pity on the poor guy, he may have been embarrassed by all this. Or, he's a jerk!

A few years ago, we were out to dinner with a group of couples, and DW was sitting at the far end of the table, with all the wives, and the husbands were all on the other end. I was calling out to her to get her attention, and they were all looking at me weird (-er than usual!). Without realizing it, I kept repeating our daughter's name (they rhyme), louder each time, and wondering why she isn't responding. Aaaaawwwwwkkkkk-ward!


-ERD50
__________________
ERD50 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2016, 08:45 PM   #48
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,017
Quote:
Originally Posted by braumeister View Post
I know a woman who was the last of a family that owned a fairly large brewery. She wanted to get married, and her father (who still ran it) said he would consent only if her prospective husband changed his name to hers, in order to keep the family name on it for more generations. Otherwise, he would sell the brewery, which was still quite profitable. The prospective groom agreed, and it has worked out fine.
Your example (and royal families) demonstrate that the owner of the chosen name is in a position of power over the other spouse. And that is why I strongly believe that a woman should keep her own last name on marriage. I realize she may have inherited it from her father, but at least she has had it all her life. I cringe when I see young brides enthusiastically changing their names on marriage. I feel like yelling at them: "There's a 50% chance this won't last! Be your own woman!"

On a practical note, it's very difficult to find old school friends who have changed their names. As for myself, I use the name I was given at birth, but I started a consulting company some years ago, and named it for both my parents.
__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2016, 09:35 PM   #49
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Northern IL
Posts: 18,264
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh View Post
... I cringe when I see young brides enthusiastically changing their names on marriage. I feel like yelling at them: "There's a 50% chance this won't last! Be your own woman!" ...
But if they choose to take their husband's name, aren't they being their own woman? Off hand, I'd say it is pretty common these days to not change the name, so I don't think it is peer pressure anymore (it was at one time).

I was a little surprised that both my DIL and my own DD took their husband's name at marriage. But it was their choice, so I had nothing to say (and no opinion) on the matter. I say 'surprised', only because I thought they would keep their own name, not that I thought they should.

-ERD50
__________________
ERD50 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2016, 09:37 PM   #50
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,565
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERD50 View Post
But aren't there other cases of temporary amnesia? I seem to recall (if I can trust my own memory!) of a case just recently (maybe on this forum?) - the person was just 'out of it' for a day, couldn't remember much of anything. And then they got over it - no long term affect, apparently.

edit/add: This is what I was thinking of:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transient_global_amnesia


And most of us have the occasional 'brain phart'. Sometimes it is super awkward, so you say something to fill in the gap, like 'little woman', 'the wife', etc. Yes, they sound terrible, but we have probably heard them spoken by a previous generation, so when you draw a blank, you fill in with the first thing that pops in your mind. I think you should have a little pity on the poor guy, he may have been embarrassed by all this. Or, he's a jerk!

A few years ago, we were out to dinner with a group of couples, and DW was sitting at the far end of the table, with all the wives, and the husbands were all on the other end. I was calling out to her to get her attention, and they were all looking at me weird (-er than usual!). Without realizing it, I kept repeating our daughter's name (they rhyme), louder each time, and wondering why she isn't responding. Aaaaawwwwwkkkkk-ward!


-ERD50
Haha

It was here. I recall responding to the thread as I had a TGA. You cannot compare a brain phart with a TGA.

A brain phart is just that you know I blew it(again). A TGA is like waking up in a strange restaurant full of diners. They're all speaking a different language, you're in Spain! As you become aware what a restaurant is for and embrace the concept of having someone make food for you... looking around you become aware of the other diners. They're strangers, no that one over there seems familiar. Huh who are these people? OH, Hi mom, hi dad, hi uncle Billy. Ah it's my life welcome back. A 6 hour mystery crammed into a much shorter time of extreme terror mixed with an incredible calmness.

They're very different things.
__________________
MRG is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2016, 10:06 PM   #51
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Northern IL
Posts: 18,264
Quote:
Originally Posted by MRG View Post
Haha

It was here. I recall responding to the thread as I had a TGA. You cannot compare a brain phart with a TGA.

A brain phart is just that you know I blew it(again). A TGA is like waking up in a strange restaurant full of diners. They're all speaking a different language, you're in Spain! As you become aware what a restaurant is for and embrace the concept of having someone make food for you... looking around you become aware of the other diners. They're strangers, no that one over there seems familiar. Huh who are these people? OH, Hi mom, hi dad, hi uncle Billy. Ah it's my life welcome back. A 6 hour mystery crammed into a much shorter time of extreme terror mixed with an incredible calmness.

They're very different things.
Ahhh, it was you!

I wasn't so much comparing a 'brain phart' to TGA, just really trying to say there are different forms of mental gaps, not just Alzheimers.

TGA sounds very scary.

-ERD50
__________________
ERD50 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2016, 10:39 PM   #52
Recycles dryer sheets
I was misinformed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERD50 View Post
And most of us have the occasional 'brain phart'. Sometimes it is super awkward, so you say something to fill in the gap, like 'little woman', 'the wife', etc.
-ERD50
I am reminded of a widely reported blooper by Condi Rice last decade when at a dinner party she said "As I was saying to my husband..err I mean President Bush..." This was particularly odd as, of course, Ms. Rice was unmarried and so presumably never had occasion to ever utter the words "my husband".
__________________
I was misinformed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2016, 07:42 AM   #53
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Nemo2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Belleville, ONT
Posts: 4,308
Now, when they also take their spouse's first name......
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."

The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
Nemo2 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2016, 08:00 AM   #54
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,697
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh View Post
On a practical note, it's very difficult to find old school friends who have changed their names. As for myself, I use the name I was given at birth, but I started a consulting company some years ago, and named it for both my parents.
Before DW and I were married we had traveled and worked in several third world countries (and a few not so third world). There were several instances (hotels, customs, rentals, contracts, legal issues) where living together but not having the same name became a nuisance. Nothing major but several PITAs.

Fellow ex-pats who were married with separate names advised us to go with one name as well.

DW decided it was not worth the hassle so when we married she took my name.
__________________
Living well is the best revenge!
Retired @ 52 in 2005
marko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2016, 08:04 AM   #55
Full time employment: Posting here.
Philliefan33's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 729
Quote:
Originally Posted by braumeister View Post
I know a woman who was the last of a family that owned a fairly large brewery. She wanted to get married, and her father (who still ran it) said he would consent only if her prospective husband changed his name to hers, in order to keep the family name on it for more generations. Otherwise, he would sell the brewery, which was still quite profitable. The prospective groom agreed, and it has worked out fine.

Yuengling?
__________________
Philliefan33 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2016, 09:01 AM   #56
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
braumeister's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Northern Kentucky
Posts: 8,591
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philliefan33 View Post
Yuengling?
No, not in this country.
__________________
braumeister is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2016, 11:31 AM   #57
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
kcowan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 5,714
Send a message via Skype™ to kcowan
I am friends with an older lady who is very influential in the local scene. She is also an accomplished author. In her books, she refers to her spouse as Husband. I suppose it prevents her readers from making any connection with him.

Anyway I always thought it was also a precaution in case he predeceased her. The book remains relevant when he is replaced!

I often introduce my partner as "the love of my life" or "my better half". She has never complained and then tells them her name. She has retained her last name from a previous marriage. Depending on the circumstances, she may include it in her turn.

Of course, sometimes she make arrangements and then people assume that her last name is also mine! It is especially helpful when phone callers ask to speak to Mister "her last name". "No I'm sorry, he does not live here."
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
kcowan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2016, 08:34 PM   #58
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,258
Quote:
Originally Posted by kcowan View Post
She has retained her last name from a previous marriage.
I thought I was the only one, but now I know your wife is also. I've had this name for longer than my birth name. My DH couldn't care less.
__________________
tmm99 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2016, 08:39 PM   #59
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Nemo2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Belleville, ONT
Posts: 4,308
Quote:
Originally Posted by kcowan View Post
It is especially helpful when phone callers ask to speak to Mister "her last name". "No I'm sorry, he does not live here."
DW's phone, when I met her, was in her previously married name; when we moved cities we just transferred the account with no change......it's better than an unlisted number, (do they still charge for those?), and if anyone asks for that name we just say "Not here" and hang up.
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."

The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
Nemo2 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2016, 09:35 PM   #60
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,035
Quote:
Originally Posted by manerac View Post
"Laziness" is to "mental illness" as "obesity" is to "health problem", and they have the same cure.

Boy the way Glenn Miller Played
Songs that made the Hit Parade
Guys like us we had it made
Those were the days.

Read more: http://artists.letssingit.com/archie...#ixzz425eTexHY
LetsSingIt - Your favorite Music Community


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum
__________________

__________________
dallas27 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
*Homeless Or Homebase?* chiwawa Other topics 9 08-28-2008 10:36 PM
Study: Free booze benefits homeless soupcxan Other topics 12 01-06-2006 10:43 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:37 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.