Texas....Love it or Whatever!

[HFWR]

"Most cities have soul, but Dallas must have been at the bank when they passed it around..."

Austin Lounge Lizards

 

[Htown Harry]

Dallas v. Houston...as a sport, it's ranked somewhere just below high school football (and maybe rattlesnake round-ups) on the list of Texans' all time fav-o-rites.

For those interested in exploring the full spectrum of constructive (and not-so-constructive) perspectives on the merits of the two biggest Texas cities, here's a link to a 50-page forum string:
Houston vs. Dallas --- SMACKDOWN! (San Antonio, Austin: visit, traffic, shop) - Texas (TX) - Page 20 - City-Data Forum

For those of you pressed for time, this T-shirt worn by a cultured, intelligent and sophisticated Houstonian provides a summary of the Houston position:

We now return you to your original topic...

Harry's nomination #2 to the Texas plague list: Wind and dust storms.

Just east of the dust cloud shown in the satellite image below is a large suburb of Ft. Worth about to take a hit. 50 mph winds blew a plane off the runway at Love Field and knocked out power to a few thousand homes.

 

[Culture]

I am going to add my two bits. Qualifications? I lived in DFW for 21 years and Houston for 17. My conclusions? It is a wash.

1) Houston has more rain (good) but more humidity (bad)
2) Houston has slightly cheaper real estate.
3) DFW is has more lakes, Houston has the ocean.
4) DFW has better access to state parks, including those in Oklahoma.
5) DFW is slightly hotter in the summer and colder in the winter.
6) DFW is more snooty.

I live in Houston today, but would be just at happy in Dallas.

 

[Nords]

Hey, REW, I see you have another nomination for the Texas Visitor & Convention Bureau's Hospitality Hall of Fame.

These spiders make gypsy moths look like slackers...

Texas spiders' monstrous webs baffle scientists | Science | Reuters

Warning: If you're an arachnophobe or even freaked out by campy science-fiction horror movies like "Alien" then DO NOT click on the following video link. No, really, it's your own darn fault, I tried to warn you. At least swallow that mouthful of coffee first!

Oh, what a tangled web we weave | Video | Reuters.com

 

[REWahoo]

Some are speculating the huge web was caused by a combination of global warming and the gaseous byproducts of the giant mulch fire. That's just a cover story.

The truth is we are secretly breeding a new species of highly poisonous arachnids who will be deployed to build gigantic webs along our borders - starting with New Mexico.

 

[TexasGal]

I saw the spiderweb story on TV . . . hard to believe and yet . . . this IS Texas.

I can tell you that this Texas gal is NOT loving these spiders. We have always had a lot of them, but I fell over into a spiderweb when I was out doing yardwork today and I had to have help getting out of it and then getting the web off of me. It was like glue.

My daughter and granddaughter were both horrified. It was HUGE and I didn't even see it. Giant spiders were in the web. I'm pretty horrified.

Until now the main complaint for me was big fat juicy grasshoppers eating my plants, fire ants eating me, and mosquitos biting me. Now, seriously, I am concerned. We got rakes and tore the web down about 2-3 hours ago. It's already back again. This is twilight zone stuff . . .

 

[Nords]

We got rakes and tore the web down about 2-3 hours ago. It's already back again. This is twilight zone stuff . . .

Oh, good, so now you've made them mad. By any chance have you seen a single one of the "Alien" movies? How do you know whether you're Sigourney Weaver or one of the extras?!?

I'm just glad none of the spiders read the thread about dryer timer switches. (As far as we know.) Now we're going to have to send over REWahoo with a can of lighter fluid and a propane torch.

Unless, of course, the spiders could be trained to trap & eat chiggers, fire ants, scorpions, & rattlers instead of humans...

 

[bssc]

So, when is the movie, Giant Killer Texas Spiders, coming out.

 

[REWahoo]

So, when is the movie, Giant Killer Texas Spiders, coming out.

It's already been done. The original was released in 1978, followed by a couple of sequels and spin offs, including an animated TV cartoon series.

No, wait. That was "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". Same plot, though.

 

[73ss454]

I'm leaving for Dallas Texas from Fla. tomorrow morning. Should I bring my Tomato spray?

 

[TexasGal]

Well, you need to bring more like a blow torch I think. I'm certainly heading to Lowe's tomorrow to see what I can find. Whether it is tomatoes or spiders, all the vegetation and varmints are out to get us!

I was out hacking down some kind of killer vine when I fell into the spiderweb!

I still don't have that job finished but I am not going back out without a blow torch or dynamite!

 

[REWahoo]

I'm leaving for Dallas Texas from Fla. tomorrow morning. Should I bring my Tomato spray?

I'd recommend a truckload at least...

 

[Wags]

Texas Love ir or Whatever

Maybe the critters in your garden were the Chupacabra. You know them varmints known as Rove and Gonzales just left D.C for Texas.

I believe there might still be more of those dirty varmints Chupacabras in Washington D.C, they were rumored to have migrated from TEXAS to D.C

Oh, I nearly forgot about the varmints known as Chupacabras that are still in the seats of power in D.C

 

[greg]

Well, you need to bring more like a blow torch I think. I'm certainly heading to Lowe's tomorrow to see what I can find. Whether it is tomatoes or spiders, all the vegetation and varmints are out to get us!

I was out hacking down some kind of killer vine when I fell into the spiderweb!

I still don't have that job finished but I am not going back out without a blow torch or dynamite!

TexasGal Jones and the Garden of Doom

 

[TexasGal]

Oooooohhhh, I liiiike that!

tada . . . . TexasGal Jones and the Garden of Doom . . . . it has a real ring to it, greg.

 

[REWahoo]

TexasGal Jones and the Garden of Doom

Here's a story idea for your first script: Texas town wonders if mythical beast was found

Maybe you can get Stephen King to do the screenplay...

 

[TexasGal]

Okay, first I need a whip, a long knife, and a hat. Then I'll call Stephen and see if we can get this thing going.

Yikes! That is the ugliest beast I have ever seen!

 

[Wags]

Texas Love it or Whatever

Here's a story idea for your first script: Texas town wonders if mythical beast was found

Maybe you can get Stephen King to do the screenplay...

That varmint sure does look a lot like Old George W. Is he in Crawford Texas this week?

If it is not Old George W maybe it's Gonzales or Rove. You know that these 2 critters have migrated from D.C to Texas.

I wonder what Willie Nelson thinks about all of this?

 

[TexasGal]

Wags, now that you mention it, I think that thing looks more like Willie than anyone else. Have we seen him lately? Wonder if he stumbled around on the highway and fell into some trouble?

 

[2B]

Gosh, I don't understand. Texas has a large & active community of Hawaii expats who'd be delighted to invite some of those feral piggies to preside at their next luau... mmmmm... kalua pork...

If they're not able to handle the backlog then I know a few guys in Kipahulu who might be interested!

Anyone is welcome to kill feral hogs. There isn't any season or limit. There are no restrictions except you must have the permission of the land owner.

When I've deer hunted, I have always been told to shoot any hogs I see.

 

[greg]

Maybe Larry Craig would be willing to take a supporting role:

Chupacabra means "goat sucker" in Spanish

Act I, Scene 1

Focus in to the approach to the Dallas-Fort Worth airport. Zoom to Men's washroom in 3D:

LC: Yep, yep, yep, Howdy. Wanna see the ring on my finger?.............................

 

[2B]

I will post some serious comments about retiring in Texas --

Housing costs in Texas aren't as good as they appear. The property taxes are oppressive and should not be ignored until it's too late. The overall cost of living isn't high but a $200,000 home can have $7,000 per year in annual property taxes. Because of the natural disasters, home insurance is high and the regulators are "insurance company friendly." Electricity is essential for the AC and has some of the highest rates in the nation. $400 per month is normal for our 4 to 6 months of "summer."

Most of the booming parts of Texas have little scenery. No one has moved to Houston for the climate. I think that probably applies to most of the state. Corpus and Brownsville have a south Florida like climate and the only decent beaches in the state.

Outdoor activities are limited by the heat. Most of the land is privately owned so hunting is an expensive activity that requires a lease. Access to good fishing waters is far less than what I've seen in other states.

My original plan was to retire in the Texas Hill Country but that seems to be the plan for half of the people I know. The more we looked and the more we thought about it the less we liked what we saw. DW and I are exploring the areas where we can still return to the Houston area (2 kids still here) in a reasonable drive. We've been impressed with southern Missouri and NW Arkansas isn't out of consideration.

REWahoo is the "anti chamber of commerce" for the state but most of what he says is true. He obviously doesn't heed his own advice.

 

[Wags]

Maybe Larry Craig would be willing to take a supporting role:

Chupacabra means "goat sucker" in Spanish

Act I, Scene 1

Focus in to the approach to the Dallas-Fort Worth airport. Zoom to Men's washroom in 3D:

LC: Yep, yep, yep, Howdy. Wanna see the ring on my finger?.............................

Are you talking about that poor devil known as Craig, who was thrown under the bus by the Republican party and forced to RESIGN? Are you talking about Old George W the pride of Texas? Which one is it?

As the song goes "he has known ladies and he has known some men and both of them tried to kill him back in 68." I beleive that's how the song goes. And then again I might be talking about when Old George W served in Vietnam. Since I have been retired my mind and my recollection of dates and events have suffered greatly.

 

[ziggy29]

I will post some serious comments about retiring in Texas --

Housing costs in Texas aren't as good as they appear. The property taxes are oppressive and should not be ignored until it's too late. The overall cost of living isn't high but a $200,000 home can have $7,000 per year in annual property taxes. Because of the natural disasters, home insurance is high and the regulators are "insurance company friendly." Electricity is essential for the AC and has some of the highest rates in the nation. $400 per month is normal for our 4 to 6 months of "summer."

Depends on where you move. We moved to a small town which is served by a local electric co-op. We pay far less per kilowatt-hour than we did in Houston.

Plus, in many areas, a $200,000 home in Texas is overkill, especially in more rural areas. We bought a 1150 sf home on a half acre out here last year for $85K and property tax this year will be about $1200.

With the combination of a smaller home, an efficient heat pump added last year and reasonable electric rates, we just received our highest utility bill of the year -- the electric? $92. (When we lived in a 2200sf house in Houston, typical summer electric bills were $200-250, mostly because we had several large shade trees keeping the house cooler.)

It's about choices. If you choose to live in an area with more expensive housing (keeping in mind we're talking about retirement, so job markets aren't as much of an issue), if you choose to live in an area with expensive electricity, if you choose to live in a big house that costs to heat and cool...you're gonna pay the price. There are places in Texas where none of these three things are a big factor.

Point taken about insurance, though. For P&C insurance Texas is a fantastically industry-friendly state. Even where I live, in the Hill Country an hour northwest of Austin which doesn't have extreme natural disaster exposure, insuring this small, older home costs $700 per year.

Most of the booming parts of Texas have little scenery.

But again -- we're talking about *retiring* in Texas here. I would guess that more FIREd people would prefer to *avoid* booming areas. There are pockets of great scenery in Texas. The area I live in was absolutely gorgeous this spring with all the wildflowers in bloom everywhere you looked, from mid-March through May the display was just ridiculously beautiful.

Outdoor activities are limited by the heat.

True. But in all honestly, I'm surprised at how much my body is acclimating. I'm not going to claim 96 degrees is comfortable, but after a few summers of it, it just doesn't seem so bad. At least it's less humid here (usually) than Houston, but not so much this year.

I'm not sure I'm going to stay here for life, but a small, friendly town with a very low housing costs in a scenic, hilly setting where I can pull in a big city salary by commuting to Austin 1-2 times a week ain't a bad place to be. No state income tax, too. All in all getting to live out here on a big city salary (originally transferred from Silicon Valley!) is a blessing, even with all the bugs we have this year because of all the rain.

It's not a great state to retire "house rich" because of the property taxes, cooling costs and insurance, but if you live in a modest house in the country and make it energy efficient, it's a very low-cost place to live, and at least this part of the state is very pretty. Plus, if half of Houston and DFW do retire up here, it will do wonders for our property values and allow us to to move elsewhere.

 

[Wags]

Wags, now that you mention it, I think that thing looks more like Willie than anyone else. Have we seen him lately? Wonder if he stumbled around on the highway and fell into some trouble?

It could be Dick "multiple deferments" Cheney. But then again it might be that poor devil known as Craig who the Republican party threw under the bus. Not only did they run over him once but they ran over him several times to make sure that he did not get up. Then they ran him out on the rail and made the poor devil RESIGN.

Then again, I am pretty sure that it is Old George W, our fearless leader and war time hero.