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Old 01-28-2015, 10:09 AM   #21
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For the most part, I can't identify with most of it. But when I have had a few experiences like those in the OP, it's been easy to get around.
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Old 01-28-2015, 10:38 AM   #22
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I've never experienced 5 and 6. These relatives sound awfully cheeky. I don't understand what is so sacred about relatives, that anyone has to let them annoy and take advantage, without giving back in some way (e.g. by being helpful or nice).

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Old 01-28-2015, 10:51 AM   #23
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5. Relatives outside my DW and kids, all of a sudden have a crisis and a need but love to criticize and state "What do you care? We aren't as "lucky" as you"..(LOL "luck"-Yes the leprechaun of money knocked on my door and gave it all to me)

6. Relatives only talk not listen. They look for an opportunity to interject the crisis or need for money;sometimes trying to manipulate so I can bring it up for them!
LOL. I remind family members that there will be a reduced financial support or cash gifts to them when I RE. I think they are rooting me to stay on my job.
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Old 01-28-2015, 10:53 AM   #24
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Marko's neighbor made me think of a woman we met on vacation last year. She was going on at great length about all the things government should do for people, and DW asked her how those new services would get paid for.

Her response just floored us: "Don't you understand? The government has unlimited money!"

This was from a woman who has a well-paid job at a college.
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Old 01-28-2015, 11:00 AM   #25
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Marko's neighbor made me think of a woman we met on vacation last year. She was going on at great length about all the things government should do for people, and DW asked her how those new services would get paid for.

Her response just floored us: "Don't you understand? The government has unlimited money!"

This was from a woman who has a well-paid job at a college.
This is a very common perception. Try to explain what it would to to inflation, etc, and their eyes glaze over.

But it ties back to the OP. Like the govnmt, many people think retirees, especially early, have near unlimited resources. I think now I understand why so many scream "I'm on a fixed income!"
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Old 01-28-2015, 11:01 AM   #26
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Sure, they can just print more whenever they want!

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Her response just floored us: "Don't you understand? The government has unlimited money!"

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Old 01-28-2015, 11:05 AM   #27
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My observations at 48 years old Early Retired. I try to keep a low profile and not disclose anything but yet I am constantly reminded..

1. Contractors arrive and suddenly (because of the neighborhood's perceived wealth appearance) the price increases 20%.

2. I have heard this based on assumptions (not me divulging) "Retired? wow, you must have plenty of money"

3. Along with that.." What do you care about the cost? You have plenty of money"..(mostly contractors and tenants)

4. Long time "friends" have disappeared.

5. Relatives outside my DW and kids, all of a sudden have a crisis and a need but love to criticize and state "What do you care? We aren't as "lucky" as you"..(LOL "luck"-Yes the leprechaun of money knocked on my door and gave it all to me)

6. Relatives only talk not listen. They look for an opportunity to interject the crisis or need for money;sometimes trying to manipulate so I can bring it up for them!

7.No more donating...as a result: disappointment and getting burned. (I am not talking about charity as in volunteering).

I am open to any thoughts, suggestions, support or similar stories..as I adjust to retirement for me and my family; and learn lessons the hard way
That sounds miserable! And these do not sound like nice people to me. I have never had any of these things happen to me at all. I guess in my case, nobody that I encounter in real life has any way of knowing whether I am barely scraping by or doing nicely. I live in a median priced home in a middle class suburb of New Orleans. I don't drive a luxury car mostly because I don't especially want one. So how would they know?

In my case, I guess I have an advantage because I am 66 - - so, being retired is pretty much expected and doesn't mean that I am wealthy. Still, I wonder how any of these people know your financial status. If I met someone who was 48 and not working, my first thoughts would be, "OMG, that poor guy, he lost his job in the recession during what should be his peak earning years!"

Just as an aside, don't forget that inflation affects the labor costs for maintenance/improvements around the house, for everyone, not just you. Workmen have to buy food too.
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Old 01-28-2015, 11:14 AM   #28
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Yeah, and all that city water from the water fountains. And I took a pad of graph paper home once to use for class

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Don't forget about all the pencils, pens and sticky notes you consumed.
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Old 01-28-2015, 11:20 AM   #29
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Sure, they can just print more whenever they want!
They can and they have. I am waiting for my share to be fedex'd to my house. I am probably low on their priority list after government officials, contractors, foreign countries, ....
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Old 01-28-2015, 11:22 AM   #30
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Then again, I did get to use the Government's toilet paper for 30+ years

Amethyst
It makes pretty decent sandpaper also...Yet another perk..
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Old 01-28-2015, 11:25 AM   #31
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...... I decided to donate $100 to a local thrift shop that buys thanksgiving turkeys for needy families.
.........
If it makes you feel better, the turkey was deeeelicious.
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Old 01-28-2015, 11:32 AM   #32
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This is a very common perception. Try to explain what it would to to inflation, etc, and their eyes glaze over.

But it ties back to the OP. Like the govnmt, many people think retirees, especially early, have near unlimited resources. I think now I understand why so many scream "I'm on a fixed income!"
Gal used to have people cry "fixed income!" when they were getting car repair quotes. She used to bat her eyes and say "wow -how nice for you - I have to work, and my income is not fixed".
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Old 01-28-2015, 11:34 AM   #33
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Watched so many people with #5,6 happining in their lives. Doesn't happen in our family, anymore, strict boundaries in the living generation. It amazes my what low depths some people resort to.

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Old 01-28-2015, 11:42 AM   #34
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5 & 6 reminds me of a scene (or scenes) from "Nebraska" movie. When a main character's relatives mistakenly assume that one of their own won a lottery ticket, they behave accordingly a la 5 & 6 above.
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Old 01-28-2015, 11:48 AM   #35
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Originally Posted by want2flyy View Post
My observations at 48 years old Early Retired. I try to keep a low profile and not disclose anything but yet I am constantly reminded..

1. Contractors arrive and suddenly (because of the neighborhood's perceived wealth appearance) the price increases 20%.

2. I have heard this based on assumptions (not me divulging) "Retired? wow, you must have plenty of money"

3. Along with that.." What do you care about the cost? You have plenty of money"..(mostly contractors and tenants)

4. Long time "friends" have disappeared.

5. Relatives outside my DW and kids, all of a sudden have a crisis and a need but love to criticize and state "What do you care? We aren't as "lucky" as you"..(LOL "luck"-Yes the leprechaun of money knocked on my door and gave it all to me)

6. Relatives only talk not listen. They look for an opportunity to interject the crisis or need for money;sometimes trying to manipulate so I can bring it up for them!

7.No more donating...as a result: disappointment and getting burned. (I am not talking about charity as in volunteering).

I am open to any thoughts, suggestions, support or similar stories..as I adjust to retirement for me and my family; and learn lessons the hard way
1), 2), are just common business principles. It's how the marketplace works.

3) Is ordinary business ethics. At least in this country.

4) Who needs 'em any $&%#ing way? They won't be there when you need them. The money will.

5) & 6) I have relatives like that. Not all of them though. The one's who are that way I remember hearing doing that kind of moaning when I was a little boy, so not much has changed.

7) Not sure what you mean by this one
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Old 01-28-2015, 01:42 PM   #36
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As a small business owner in a small town I can relate. I think it would be much easier if I wasn't in business in the town where I grew up and where my family is from. I've been extremely careful about wealth appearance, to the point of appearing like I'm almost struggling. People in a small town don't want to do business with someone who appears to be getting rich off of them (even though you earn every $$). I'll FIRE next year at 50, most of my friends are in their upper 50's and have no retirement planned at all, that concerns me. They all have a higher standard of living than I do (much) yet some seem a bit jealous when I share my plan with them. Family doesn't lean on me much, my one brother has already spent most of our parent's wealth, he's been "so unlucky" mostly due to his high spending, alcohol, drug use and lack of ambition. I've been the "lucky one" because I could hold a job. Volunteer activities have been a two edged sword. I've lost customers because I'm involved in certain civic organizations, church and our local Fire Dept. If people disagree with something one of them does they'll take it out on you personally. Working with the public in a small town for 30 years can take a lot out of you, that's been my focus on being able to FIRE all this time.
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Old 01-28-2015, 01:51 PM   #37
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Grew up in a small town, and can understand. When I was in junior high, my Dad was a volunteer police officer who sometimes rode patrols with the Police Chief. After they arrested the father of one of my classmates for drunk driving, the kids in school were out to get ME.

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As a small business owner in a small town I can relate..... If people disagree with something one of them does they'll take it out on you personally. Working with the public in a small town for 30 years can take a lot out of you, that's been my focus on being able to FIRE all this time.
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Old 01-28-2015, 01:52 PM   #38
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Marko's neighbor made me think of a woman we met on vacation last year. She was going on at great length about all the things government should do for people, and DW asked her how those new services would get paid for.

Her response just floored us: "Don't you understand? The government has unlimited money!"

This was from a woman who has a well-paid job at a college.
We must've met the same woman!
A friend of a friend (a college professor) was telling me about her experience with the 'free' health care in the UK.
I said: "well, it wasn't free...somebody paid for it". She said: "yes! the government!"
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Old 01-28-2015, 03:07 PM   #39
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Wait a minute... You can get contractors to "ARRIVE"?
I rarely get anything but an answering machine when I call a contractor. And even then, rare is the return call. And it seems less than half that I actually talk to come out for an estimate.
I've often wondered if I've been blackballed. I've never outright told them I have an opinion of them somewhere in the range of used car salesmen and members of congress, but maybe they sense I'm thinking it.
My apologies to FIRE'd contractors out there, leave me a message and I'll get back to you to discuss.
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Old 01-28-2015, 03:20 PM   #40
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I rarely get anything but an answering machine when I call a contractor. And even then, rare is the return call. And it seems less than half that I actually talk to come out for an estimate.
I used to wonder about this. Then I talked to my neighbor who was a local banker specializing in small business loans.

His reaction was to smile and say "This is why most small businesses remain small."
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