To buy happiness, purchase an experience

[Meadbh]

Do the photographers or the cyclists (both motorized and human powered) on this forum buy these as 'things', or for the experiences they get?

Maybe the whole concept is a bit judgmental?

-ERD50

Good point. On a bigger scale, what about a vacation home? I have one (or at least a fraction of one) and I bought it for the experiences it allows me to have.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

(emphasis mine) Oh, you hit the nail on the head, at least for me! For some reason I really prefer being engaged and not just sitting passively to watch things or events.

We didn't realize that until we did the spreadsheet, but afterwards it seemed obvious.

I think for years we would buy tickets to stuff we saw advertised, and that tends to be commercial events other people were doing and we were paying to watch.

Now I plan the week more on events from club newsletters, the free library passes, park calendars and other places that don't have any advertising budgets but might be nonprofit or tax dollar supported.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I guess I'm confused on where the cut-off point is (or is there one?) between buying a materialistic 'thing' and buying an 'experience'.



So if someone buys a big screen TV, is that a 'material purchase', or does it bring 'experiences' (movies, TV shows, documentaries) that the person enjoys?

I've got a fairly high-end stereo. Is that big honkin' amplifier and the large speakers 'things'? Or do they bring me 'experiences'? A few times, I have enjoyed my CD version of a performance more than experiencing the same performers and pieces in concert. And I can enjoy them more often and more conveniently at home. So I can have more of these experiences.

Do the photographers or the cyclists (both motorized and human powered) on this forum buy these as 'things', or for the experiences they get?

Maybe the whole concept is a bit judgmental?

-ERD50

I think I have gotten more years of pleasure from my iPods than I have from one time concert tickets, and my iPods still have resale value.

But I get the point in the article. If you watch shows like Til Debt Do Us Part or Clean House, the people on the shows are often compulsive shoppers, they don't seem happy at all, and there houses are often cramped and crowded with stuff they have bought and don't even use or enjoy.

 

[Midpack]

So if someone buys a big screen TV, is that a 'material purchase', or does it bring 'experiences' (movies, TV shows, documentaries) that the person enjoys?

Others will undoubtedly have another POV, but that's easy IMO, it's a material purchase. The experiences that are most memorable are those where you're actively involved, not those where you are passive. Sure there's a continuum, but I can't think of anything much more passive than sitting (alone especially) on a couch watching TV (not a big fan of TV to begin with, most of it is just escapist drivel). Almost any outdoor activity beats the best TV "experience" IMO. YMMV

 

[ERD50]

....

But I get the point in the article. If you watch shows like Til Debt Do Us Part or Clean House, the people on the shows are often compulsive shoppers, they don't seem happy at all, and there houses are often cramped and crowded with stuff they have bought and don't even use or enjoy.

Sure, buying what you don't really need is a problem (unless you can easily afford it, then who cares?). But I still don't get the distinction between materialistic and experiential.

Some people might buy a 'thing' that they really won't use or get any benefit from. Others may go to a concert because it is just the 'in' thing, and they may not really get any benefit from it (and from what I've seen, some of these people talk all through the concert, so they don't really seem to care that they are there other than to tell people they were there). What's the difference?

-ERD50

 

[FIREd]

I guess I'm confused on where the cut-off point is (or is there one?) between buying a materialistic 'thing' and buying an 'experience'.



So if someone buys a big screen TV, is that a 'material purchase', or does it bring 'experiences' (movies, TV shows, documentaries) that the person enjoys?

I've got a fairly high-end stereo. Is that big honkin' amplifier and the large speakers 'things'? Or do they bring me 'experiences'? A few times, I have enjoyed my CD version of a performance more than experiencing the same performers and pieces in concert. And I can enjoy them more often and more conveniently at home. So I can have more of these experiences.

Do the photographers or the cyclists (both motorized and human powered) on this forum buy these as 'things', or for the experiences they get?

Maybe the whole concept is a bit judgmental?

-ERD50

I was thinking the same thing. Many things that I buy do not create happiness on their own, but they open up a world of enjoyable experiences.

 

[haha]

Yes, looking out for free and low cost things to do is a fun hobby for me.

I made a spreadsheet a couple of years ago of everything we did in a month and we rated how much fun it we had versus the total cost (tickets + transportation + parking). It turned out that we had as much fun, if not more doing free, or very low cost activities that were more active and less passive than watching plays or concerts.

For us we had more fun doing active stuff that didn't cost much like going hiking, biking, having picnics and going to the beach. Or finding free events like the free days at the museums or events at the local parks.

No possible bias in your scoring?

 

[haha]

(not a big fan of TV to begin with, most of it is just escapist drivel). Almost any outdoor activity beats the best TV "experience" IMO.

A tv is hardware; what is watched on it is software, and today almost 100% under viewer control. So if someone watches drivel, it's his choice.

Ha

 

[Midpack]

A tv is hardware; what is watched on it is software, and today almost 100% under viewer control. So if someone watches drivel, it's his choice.

Agreed. But to me most of it is drivel, and if you believe ratings at all, a lot of people are watching. So that makes my view in the minority. But I still contend TV falls under material purchase no matter what you watch...again YMMV.

 

[Animorph]

Then there was my dad, who couldn't remember any of his recent travel experiences due to Alzheimer's. Still loved his Hi-Fi though. Don't wait until retirement to have some of those memorable experiences.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

No possible bias in your scoring?

The whole scoring was based on our personal opinions of what we thought was fun, so I am not sure what you mean by bias. Anyone else doing the same chart could have totally different results. If you aren't into outdoor or hobby club activities, then if you did the same exercise your results might be the total opposite.

But for us we realized we had the most fun doing things rather than watching things, even if doing meant just walking around a museum.

 

[HFWR]

Agreed. But to me most of it is drivel, and if you believe ratings at all, a lot of people are watching. So that makes my view in the minority. But I still contend TV falls under material purchase no matter what you watch...again YMMV.

As a counterpoint, friends sometimes gather around my TV to watch concert videos for "fun". The seats are more comfortable, the restroom is close and clean, the beer is colder and cheaper, etc.

I'm fairly picky about what I watch, but I enjoy at least some of the programming on PBS, Cooking Channel, Discovery Science, etc. And, still being a w*rking stiff, after the day is done, plus a workout afterwards, and watching interesting programming (vs. whatever drivel is on), or listening to music, are good ways to spend the last couple of hours before bed...

 

[Badger]

Going to a dinner theater tonight to see Cindy Williams in a light comedy. We do this maybe once a year so it's a treat. I know it is passive but it's a night out where we get dressed up for an experience we enjoy and it's better than a movie theater. It might not rate up there with other things we have done but I would rather do this than buy a DVD.

Cheers!

 

[haha]

The whole scoring was based on our personal opinions of what we thought was fun, so I am not sure what you mean by bias.

I'll try a brief explanation. Most people here have a bias to prefer, or at least try to prefer, inexpensive things. You are rating and scoring, unless you are a very rare person, you like everyone else is susceptible to bias.

That is why health related studies are double blinded. The raters don't know who is supposed to win.

Anyway, I'm happy if you are happy.

Ha

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I'll try a brief explanation. Most people here have a bias to prefer, or at least try to prefer, inexpensive things. You are rating and scoring, unless you are a very rare person, you like everyone else is susceptible to bias.

That is why health related studies are double blinded. The raters don't know who is supposed to win.

Anyway, I'm happy if you are happy.

Ha

We didn't lower our monthly entertainment budget to try to save money - we just tried to figure out which events gave us the most fun for amount of money we had budgeted.

Not every inexpensive event rose to the top and not everything that cost money sunk to the bottom. We still eat out a lot but to us that is worth the money.

 

[Sittingduck]

Are You Experienced Jimi Hendrix HD - YouTube

Have you ever been experienced?

Kind of like Jimi's view.

 

[ERD50]

Others will undoubtedly have another POV, but that's easy IMO, it's a material purchase. The experiences that are most memorable are those where you're actively involved, not those where you are passive. Sure there's a continuum, but I can't think of anything much more passive than sitting (alone especially) on a couch watching TV (not a big fan of TV to begin with, most of it is just escapist drivel). Almost any outdoor activity beats the best TV "experience" IMO. YMMV

I'm not following you at all, sounds like apples-oranges to me?

Even if watching TV is passive, the TV can still be just the object that brings the experience to the person. So aren't they really buying that experience? I'm not comparing it to other, more active experiences.

And what does 'outdoor' have to do with it? What if someone buys a wood lathe, and enjoys the experience of turning and producing objects of art from wood? That's indoors, and it's active. Did they buy the thing, the lathe, or did they buy something that enables an experience?

So I'm still back to my original point - I don't think every 'object' purchased is necessarily materialistic, it can be a gateway to an experience. I don't see what all your 'YMMV' caveats are about. Regardless of whether I might think someone is watching drivel, or the Kahn Academy, seems irrelevant. If that is what they enjoy, the TV is the gateway to that experience.

I suppose if someone buys a big screen TV just to point it out to company and say "We have a big screen TV!", and they never watch TV, I would call that materialistic. And I suppose some people have done just that.

-ERD50

 

[haha]

I suppose if someone buys a big screen TV just to point it out to company and say "We have a big screen TV!", and they never watch TV, I would call that materialistic. And I suppose some people have done just that.

-ERD50

Yes, I think the latest reports are that 3 families in world history have done that.

To me this whole thing is kind of nutty. Bird watching is good, but watching a football game is not. Or maybe watching a football game in the stadium is good, but on your 50"TV where you can at least see the game and not freeze is not. What if I watch a football game, but at the same time row on my rower? Here I have not one but two expensive THINGS. Would I rather go to church service, where I participate in the service, than row and watch football? Sometimes, but often not. IF I can watch football with my sons or someone who shuts up and watches, I like it better than alone. But in the typical say Super Bowl Party crowd? I'd have to go home and watch on my dvr to know what the heck had happened.

Clearly, buying gear, especially expensive gear that you do not use is likely not good for a person's well being. We tend to feel guilty about this.

But how about buying nice furniture? Is that bad, because it is material, or good because you friends may be more inclined to visit you if your place is more or less what they experience at home?

How about beauty treatments? Is that an experience, or not? If it helps you get a date, and he takes to a movie, is that bad or good? World it have been better if he had taken you to a play?

I think we are getting too taken with these psychologists' ideas. Psychologists who are generally not particularly happy themselves. Maybe best to let people judge how they like to spend their time and money?

Ha

 

[Meadbh]

Buying one TV that you watch and enjoy regularly sounds like an investment in experience. Buying a TV for a rarely used guest bedroom to impress your relatives at Thanksgiving could be viewed as materialistic.

 

[eytonxav]

Reading this thread has been an experience for me

 

[Bestwifeever]

I remember when the study first came out, or one like it. I think the research, for what it's worth, did show people were happier spending money on an experience but only if the experience turned out good. If anything went wrong (maybe like getting seasick one day of a cruise), it no longer made them happy.

Once we had all the stuff we needed, we too felt experiences would be better . But then we dropped a bucket of money on a new kitchen. Which means we enjoy using it more than the falling apart old kitchen. Because it has pretty stuff in it. That makes us use it more.

 

[HFWR]

If I were to list the most memorable experiences in my life (I actually keep a bucket list), hours spent watching TV don't make the list, and probably never will. If you feel differently, that's dandy.

To paraphrase Gallagher, "I watch sports on TV for exercise. I'm really tired after a good game, aren't you?"

 

[someguy]

I don't agree with this. Typically, memory works over time to minimize or exclude relatively minor negative experiences. For example, on our long adventure travel, the flights are often annoying, long, uncomfortable and just not that pleasant. But when I think back about this trip or that trip, I don't immediately recall or weight those things....I remember the amazing person we met, or the stunning scenery, or the food.

Highly traumatic/negative experiences are a different story. There seems to be a threshold above which the mind can't or won't let go of a traumatic event. Instead of gradually weakening the memory, it is constantly replayed and actually can strengthen in intensity. This threshold is highly individualistic and above it is the start of PTSD.

I remember when the study first came out, or one like it. I think the research, for what it's worth, did show people were happier spending money on an experience but only if the experience turned out good. If anything went wrong (maybe like getting seasick one day of a cruise), it no longer made them happy.

 

[MichaelB]

I think some people find happiness [-]arguing about[/-] discussing what makes other people happy.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I think we are getting too taken with these psychologists' ideas. Psychologists who are generally not particularly happy themselves. Maybe best to let people judge how they like to spend their time and money?

Ha

I thought about this some more and I think you are right. I am still blown away by the idea of having to purchase experiences to be happy. Many purchases, especially those that make money or cut expenses, lead to financial independence, which is the ultimate in free time, and time to have more experience besides sitting in an office building all day.