Trashing wedding gowns

[tangomonster]

Okay, I know this is none of my business and that there's more important things to worry about than what people do with their bridal gowns after the fact. But the newest fad of trashing a wedding gown (setting it on fire, ripping it to shreds, getting it dirty---while photographing the whole thing) just strikes me as decadent, deviant, and disturbing on so many levels.

First of all, there are so many people around the world and in the US who would love a beautiful bridal gown and can't afford one. Why can't these people donate the dress instead of trashing it? Or sell it, thus recouping some of the wedding costs?

Then there's the part where they keep the wedding going and the focus on themselves by getting photographed doing it---yet more consumerism, this time of post-wedding professional photos.

But mostly it's just that I don't get the sentiment behind it. I could see where someone could want to destroy their wedding gown after a bitter divorce. But why, after a few months, of spending all the money and time to get the gown of their dreams, why is it suddenly cute/ironic/fashionable to destroy it? Just a few months before, they had bought into the whole wedding consumer culture thing with a fancy wedding and gown. Maybe some of them are let down with marriage itself, just wrapped up in the wedding production and being princess for the day and then dealing with the mundane married life that they take their disappointment out on the dress!

Here's more info on this lovely trend:

Wedding trashers | Salon Life

Does anyone else think this is awful?

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Hmmm...is this like kicking your drums over and smashing your guitar after the concert?

My wife found a fairly simple wedding dress in the back of a clearance rack in some odd store in the mall that you wouldnt expect to carry wedding dresses. $19 IIRC. After the wedding she took her sewing machine and a pair of scissors to it and made a simple summer dress out of it. Wears it at least a half dozen times a year.

Not surprisingly, theres a direct correlation between the cost of a wedding and the likelihood of divorce, and the unpleasantness of the divorce.

 

[Achiever51]

This is just another aspect of the emphasis on the wedding, rather than on the marriage. Couples (well, generally the brides) are spending MONTHS planning the ultimate wedding -- but from my observation point (that is, watching my nieces and nephews and DD's friends) they are not giving anywhere near as much thought to the marriage that follows their "magical day." Not too long ago, we went to a wedding that cost nearly $100,000 according to the "happy" couple and their parents...and the couple divorced within the year! Ka-ching to DeBeers...Vera Wang...the country club...the wedding planner...et al, but what a shame.
Another trend that I also don't understand is the "staged" proposal that includes a videographer to record the proposal and the acceptance. Then, the video is posted on YouTube or on one of the wedding planning websites. Some of these "events" are nearly as elaborate as the wedding ceremony. Unbelievable.

 

[FinanceDude]

Hey, it's a LOT LESS than spending $150 to dry clean the thing, and then have to store it in an odd-sized box for a million years...........

Oh sorry, just thinking out loud.........

 

[Joss]

I think you nailed it in the first sentence.

 

[haha]

Okay, I know this is none of my business and that there's more important things to worry about than what people do with their bridal gowns after the fact. But the newest fad of trashing a wedding gown (setting it on fire, ripping it to shreds, getting it dirty---while photographing the whole thing) just strikes me as decadent, deviant, and disturbing on so many levels.

Does anyone else think this is awful?

As NewGuy888 would say, "What is this world coming to?"

Ha

 

[Arif]

Not surprisingly, theres a direct correlation between the cost of a wedding and the likelihood of divorce, and the unpleasantness of the divorce.

This is so true. My wife and I went to Vegas to get married ten years ago and spent about $800 on the wedding including the hotel room. All my friends spent a lot more than me and are either divorced or remarried.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

There are actual studies

Makes sense though...one of the biggest stresses on a relationship is finances. If you tend to blow lots of money, its going to be a bigger stress.

 

[citrine]

I just went to a wedding over the weekend.....it was at a mansion....very elaborate and expensive. The couple is already in debt...,mostly the bride's student loans totalling about 200K. The wedding was arranged via a second mortgage on the condo.
This just makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I would be satisfied by having a small, intimate wedding and sock away the wedding cash into mutual funds. I also would love to get married in jeans!

 

[Goonie]

I also would love to get married in jeans!

I had friends that did just that about 25 years ago. Bride and Groom both wore nice jeans, white blouse for the bride and white shirt for the groom (open collar of course), and they both wore denim vests. The minister wore about the same, jeans and a white shirt (NO tie).

It was held at the bride's parents' homestead out in the country. The reception was a huge 'potluck', the parents supplied the meat and non-alcoholic beverages. The guests all brought dishes to pass, and 'cold adult beverages' if they wanted them.

Instead of a band, several of the guests brought guitars and played music and everyone got to join in with the singing. And instead of dancing, there were horse-shoes, volleyball, and softball.

They had a couple hundred friends and relatives attend, and everyone, young and old, seemed to really enjoy the day. It was pretty much a stress-free day for both the bride and the groom....especially since the weather co-operated.

And BTW, they are still hitched after all these years!

As for the OP, I think it's just plain stupid to trash the dress. Heck, if they don't want the thing after the wedding, sell it. Or just give it away! Take it to a resale shop. Anything but don't just destroy it for kicks! That's STUPID!!!

 

[bpp3]

Trashing a wedding dress is considered rebellion? Whatever happened to safety pins through the cheek? Kids these days are too coddled for their own good, I tell ya. Johnny Rotten would be rolling in his grave, were he dead.

 

[kaudrey]

I think it's just wasteful. I donated mine to Welcome to Making Memories after I got divorced...