Travel Horror (or funny) Stories

[rockyj]

Riding the express train from Berlin to Prague with my wife and daughter, about a four and one-half or five hour journey, we were seated in an open cabin just a few rows behind a boisterous group of eight or so German speaking youths. They had arrayed themselves around one of the mid-car table seating areas and seemed to be priming the pump for a stag weekend in Prague. There was much moving about, slapping down of cards, passing the bottle, and an endless stream of shouting - in mostly unintelligible (to me) Deutsch – but with enough off-color interjections in English to pique my attention and grasp the spirit of their revelry. The scene was curious at first but grew increasingly tiresome as our trip progressed. As we approached Prague after several hours of this, an apparently Czech man stood and sternly addressed the group. “You have been yelling all the time since Berlin, disturbing fifty other people for hours. I am asking you now for five minutes of peace before I get off this train. I don’t want to hear another sound from you. Just give me five minutes of peace.” He was traveling with a rather burly companion, who remained standing - motionless - with his dark eyes fixed upon the group until the train slowed to a stop on the outskirts of Prague. The two gathered themselves and disembarked. There was indeed quiet for those few minutes. I wish I could say I applauded as they passed in the aisle, but I didn’t. Afterward I thought to myself, “English – the language of diplomacy. “

 

[Zoocat]

On a trip to Costa Rica in 2006 one of the couples was in their 80s and the wife apparently had early onset alzheimer's, the evidence being forgetting what she was talking about in the middle of a sentence and not knowing exactly where she was at any particular time.
So the group was hiking in the cloud forest, crossing a bridge above the trees, and heading into the dense forest. Our guide was telling us all about the flora and fauna, and the 82 yr old husband, a botanist, was very interested and forgot all about keeping an eye on his wife. So, after a short while, we moved on and he suddenly realized she was no where to be seen. He immediately headed up the trail, calling out to her "Edith! Eeeeedith!" His voice echoed through the forest, accompanied by loud chirping birds and chattering monkeys. Everyone had to search for her for a couple of hours. All of us calling out for her, the husband increasingly upset. "Eeeeedith! Where are you? Where are you?" Eventually we found her back at the beginning of the trail. She had just followed the loop back the way we had come, logically, and was waiting for us, rather annoyed at being the object of a search and a whole lot of hoopla.

Edith also swam out in the ocean at Manuel Antonio beach farther than anyone else and wouldn't come back to the beach when we had to leave, despite her husband and the guide calling to her. Her husband had to swim out to get her.
Despite all that I really liked her a lot.

 

[Gumby]

In 2003, the young wife and I went to Madeira for a week. One of the highlights of a trip there is walking the levadas, which are irrigation channels built in the 16th and 17th centuries. They are approximately 4 feet wide and 4 ft deep, and they bring the water from the rainy north side of the island to the sunnier south side. They follow the contour of the mountains (Madeira is quite mountainous) with a very gentle downward slope and they have a path about two feet wide running alongside (the path is used by those who must maintain the levada, pulling out fallen trees, etc.) They are really quite nice walking paths and offer spectacular views of the sea, as well as more intimate views of the back yards of those local people who live next to them.

We were out walking one of the levadas on the very first full day of our vacation and we came to a point where the builders had apparently decided that it would be easier to bore a tunnel through the mountain spur than to go around it. We followed the path into the tunnel, which I would guess was perhaps a half mile long. We had no flashlight and it quickly got dark. I told the young wife that we should turn around and go back out, and we did. When we got back to the entrance, however, she declared that she was certain we could make it through, even in the dark, and that she wanted to try it. So we went back into the tunnel, hugging the wall and creeping along in the darkness. She was in the lead. Just when we got to the point where the openings at each end were nothing more than tiny dots, the path abruptly ended. The young wife pitched sideways into the levada and bounced off the hard stone edge of it, breaking two ribs in the process. I hauled her out of the water and we retreated the way we had come.

I was concerned about her health,of course, but I must confess that as we went back out of the tunnel, I was thinking to myself "I'm so glad this was her idea and not mine".

 

[bssc]

Worst: Cruise from Manila to San Francisco in 1970. Hit a typhoon out of Yokohama that bounced the ship up and down for two days. Everyone was sea sick.

 

[WanderALot]

1. having to first wake up and then bribe the attendants at the Red Pyramid to turn the lights on

Wow, we had the same experience at the Red Pyramid. Two other tourists informed us that if we didn't tip the guy, the lights might turn off about 10 min after we walk inside the pyramid!

Getting to Egypt was an interesting experience. We had to fly from LA -> NYC (red eye+7 hr layover) -> Cairo. We were flying with an infant and my parents. Why Egypt with an infant you ask? Because my parents are getting up there in years and really wanted to go to Egypt so we decided to take them while we still could.

Long story short, we missed our flight to Cairo partially because of our own stupidity and partially because of Delta (they screwed up our infant ticket). Got to stay in NYC for 2 days WITHOUT luggage since the luggage went ahead to Cairo! We finally make it to Cairo and our luggage is in a special holding area. We left our infant and my parents in the taxi and had to go get fancy *laminated* badges made to get our bags. We had an escort who took us through the bowels of the airport luggage handling area past guys with big guns. He then CRAWLED up a conveyor belt to get the luggage! The whole process took 2 hours!

On the way back from Jordan (we flew to Jordan to see Petra using an Egyptian airline, so Delta wasn't involved in this), we had trouble getting on the flight because the infant ticket that Delta issued was still screwed up. The head of the Delta Airlines at Jordan airport had to call Atlanta, in the middle of the night, to get it fixed!

We also took a Nile Cruise where all 4 of us got sick at different times from the food. There's a nice picture of me at the Valley of the Queens throwing up! Thankfully, we brought a lot of baby food and our infant was partially nursing so he didn't get sick at all. Despite all of this, Egypt/Jordan were amazing and we were very thankful we got to go!

DW refuses to pay Delta to fly anywhere. We've flown them twice since then but only because we were using up our miles.

 

[WanderALot]

One example of this was when they got to the airport to Board their plane home. ...

THE ONLY THING WAS, THERE WAS NO ONE ASSIGNED TO VISUALLY CHECK LUGGAGE AS IT PASSED THROUGH THE XRAY MACHINE!!

In other words the Airport Security followed the directions & complied, but somewhere along the way, the whole point of running luggage through the XRAY Machine was lost on them....

Hilarious! We had a similar experience in India except this was EXITING the plane! Flew into Chennai and as we passed Immigration and headed to the baggage claim area, there was a security guard who asked us to put our luggage onto the conveyor belt. The belt was moving but the screen was turned off! Never mind that he wanted us to scan our carryons after we had landed!

 

[Nodak]

Back when I was a broke student at computer school I took a Greyhound bus home for Christmas. It involved one stop for a change of bus at Fargo, ND. Somehow my luggage got lost and spent Christmas week in Calgary Alberta. I spent the week trying to find clothes that fit in boxes that had been packed away for a long time.

 

[REWahoo]

This didn't happen to me but I was a first-hand witness.

Our old-school CEO arranged a meeting with one of our largest customers, a very stuffy and conservative banking organization. The meeting was at a posh location and was to start promptly at 8 AM on a Monday morning. One of the attendees, the account executive assigned to this customer, flew in late on the evening before. He checked all his baggage and - you guessed it - he arrived but his luggage didn't.

He showed up at the meeting wearing the same clothes he wore on the flight - shorts, flip-flops and a Grateful Dead t-shirt. Everyone else was in dark suits and wing-tips.

A few days later he "left the company to pursue other opportunities".

 

[tryan]

Back when PanAM was flying they ran a deal ... fly 10 legs in the Boston-NYC shuttle and get a free ticket to EUROPE! We had an office in Mitchel Field so I was traveling there quite often. Got my 10 legs in ... filled out the paper work - xerox'd it - mailed it in. Couple months go by NO TIX! So I xerox the xerox and mail it in ... couple months go by NO TIX! So I xerox the xerox and mail it in. Couple months go by and one by one THREE round trip coupons to europe show up in the mail!

Had a friend in Munich so I visited him 3 times over the course of the next year ... did Oktoberfest - had a ball. Funny thing was I logged frequent flyer miles on ALL THREE TRIPS! Earning a FOURTH ticket just from the accummulated miles.

No wonder the airline went out of business .... nobody watching the candy store.

 

[Nords]

Liberty in Subic Bay, Philippines, June 1991, just in time for the simultaneous arrival of the eruption of Mt. Pinatubo and landfall of Typhoon Yunya.

http://www.nrlmry.navy.mil/forecast...urrounding Waters Typhoon Forecasting.4.1.pdf

 

[calmloki]

Liberty in Subic Bay, Philippines, ....

QUOTE]

Floating pig carcasses*
Rain gear ponchos made from trash bags*
Bars upstairs because the lower floor was flooded*
Knives and guns*
Jitneys*
Women with hearts of gold*
Women who took full contact San Miguel beer bottle swings at no good sailor heads*
Change that was the exact size of US change but at a very favorable exchange rate*
Good times

 

[Meadbh]

our infant was partially nursing so he didn't get sick at all.

Proving once again that breast is best!

 

[TromboneAl]

I gained notoriety as a grad student when traveling to a meeting. My luggage (which I had found in a dumpster) was so beat-up that I had sign something that stated that the airline wouldn't be blamed for making it look like that.

 

[Nuiloa]

another one

Our friend was in Costa Rica and got caught by a big wave which smashed him into some rocks. He was scratched pretty badly but nothing broken. Two days later, he was walking near the pool, fell and dislocated his elbow and banged up his nose.

Those were the good days. A few days later, he and his SO were walking around when mother nature called. He approached a restaurant and noticed a workman laying some concrete near the bathroom entrance. He sidestepped around him and fell feet first into an open septic tank!!! The only thing that kept him from going all the way in was the sling he had on his arm.

The locals hauled him out, but the water had been turned off so he could not get cleaned off. Finally a bunch of guys took turns hauling sea water in buckets to get the mess off him. Of course, all the scratches got infected, but he was back in Canada by then and was able to get strong antibiotics.

 

[bssc]

Liberty in Subic Bay, Philippines, ....

Floating pig carcasses*
Rain gear ponchos made from trash bags*
Bars upstairs because the lower floor was flooded*
Knives and guns*
Jitneys*
Women with hearts of gold*
Women who took full contact San Miguel beer bottle swings at no good sailor heads*
Change that was the exact size of US change but at a very favorable exchange rate*
Good times

Spent seven years in Manila. Add
Wading through the streets
Earthquakes
Typhoons that ripped our neighbors' roofs off
Other volcanos
The Huks (local communist guerillas)
The neighbor whose body guard tried to assassinate him by leaving a hand grenade under his dinner table seat. (The maid triggered it but wasn't hurt).
Giant mosquitos.
Jeepneys
New Years Eve that sounded like WWIII

 

[hankster]

Our friend was in Costa Rica and got caught by a big wave which smashed him into some rocks. He was scratched pretty badly but nothing broken. Two days later, he was walking near the pool, fell and dislocated his elbow and banged up his nose.

Those were the good days. A few days later, he and his SO were walking around when mother nature called. He approached a restaurant and noticed a workman laying some concrete near the bathroom entrance. He sidestepped around him and fell feet first into an open septic tank!!! The only thing that kept him from going all the way in was the sling he had on his arm.

The locals hauled him out, but the water had been turned off so he could not get cleaned off. Finally a bunch of guys took turns hauling sea water in buckets to get the mess off him. Of course, all the scratches got infected, but he was back in Canada by then and was able to get strong antibiotics.

OMG! That's enough to make a person want to spend the rest of their life on the couch

 

[Ronstar]

My BIL went solo on a hunting trip to Alaska. Float plane dropped him off and the pilot said he'd be back at the same spot a week later to pick him up. The week later was 9/11/2001. My BIL went to the drop-off spot 0n 9/11 and waited for 3 days until the plane returned. He had no way of contacting anyone, so he had no idea what was going on. Luckily he had his fishing gear to catch some dinner.

 

[JOHNNIE36]

My BIL went solo on a hunting trip to Alaska. Float plane dropped him off and the pilot said he'd be back at the same spot a week later to pick him up. The week later was 9/11/2001. My BIL went to the drop-off spot 0n 9/11 and waited for 3 days until the plane returned. He had no way of contacting anyone, so he had no idea what was going on. Luckily he had his fishing gear to catch some dinner.

That story plus the one that follows should be a lesson to everyone. In 2003 four of went on a fly-in fishing trip to Wawa, Ontario Canada. That was the base camp but the lake we were flying into was another 75 miles out in the wilderness. We were the only cabin on the lake. We were offerred a satelite phone but we declined. Everything went okay but exactly one year later I had a heart attack while working in the yard. What might have happened if I would have had that heart attack up in Canada? I might not be writing this story. Always go prepared. Don't think cell phones work as there are no towers up in the boonies.