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Old 02-24-2015, 02:41 PM   #81
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Makes me happy I'm a guy, tend to not have that kind of stuff in conversations, and certainly we don't get excluded (!) for not participating in it.

Hope I don't sound sexist, just feel sorry it seems to be part of the "being a girl" experience, and for no good reason.
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Old 02-24-2015, 02:50 PM   #82
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Hope I don't sound sexist, just feel sorry it seems to be part of the "being a girl" experience, and for no good reason.

It's generally known that I am a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. If I were to place myself on one of those dating sites being discussed, I would include that in the writeup in the interest of truth in advertising!
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Old 02-24-2015, 03:14 PM   #83
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Let's see how I do

1. Financial DIYer and more than a bit skeptical about the role/benefit of FAs. - actually yes and no. I am a DIYer but a good FA could be a huge benefit to many people so while I don't personally use one someone very close to me does and has benefitted tremendously. I would not want to take over that job personally

2. Uses index funds for the majority of his/her investments. I'd say no since I own a lot of stocks gathered over the years. Combined they exceed index funds in terms of investment $$

3. Somewhere between the ages of 50-70 and debt free. Yes and Yes I would not consider ER without being debt free

4. Dislikes annuities for various and sundry reasons. No again I think they can have their place but you need to do your research to see if it is appropriate (I don't have one myself as a disclaimer but I don't dislike or like them)

5. Retired in their 50s. Yes this will be realized. Would already have happened if my DW wasn't such a worrywart :P

6. Have analytical type personalities. Scientist by schooling, engineer by profession...so yeah

Also independent and willing to go against the norm (that being you should be old before you are retired)and you can't save money...at least the press suggests that's the way it is
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Old 02-24-2015, 03:45 PM   #84
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But if you are always lying, how could anyone who hopes to find someone like you, be certain you are not misrepresenting yourself?

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It's generally known that I am a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. If I were to place myself on one of those dating sites being discussed, I would include that in the writeup in the interest of truth in advertising!
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Old 02-24-2015, 03:48 PM   #85
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But if you are always lying, how could anyone who hopes to find someone like you, be certain you are not misrepresenting yourself?

Well, Amethyst, that's a very difficult question. The answer is nes.
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Old 02-24-2015, 04:58 PM   #86
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A splendid Koan. I tell the truth by telling I am lying.
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Old 02-24-2015, 05:08 PM   #87
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I'm not introverted. In fact, I'm very gregarious, and like to talk to strangers and try to make them laugh. What isolates me is my sensitivity. For example, I don't like to hear or participate in gossip, and this trait of mine seems to put off all but the most intelligent women (like the ones on this forum).

It's not that I shake my head or say, "Oh, dear, you shouldn't gossip like that," it's that I stop participating, or try to change the subject, when the bitchy knives come out. Simply by not taking part, I reveal that I'm not part of the group-think. Once that happens, they stop including me. It's as if a willingness to trash those who aren't present, is the price of "belonging."

Amethyst
I totally understand. I refuse to participate in any sort of unkindness towards other people. I've been verbally provoked and still walk away from it.
For this reaction I am called "aloof", or "princess", or am informed that "you think you're better than everyone", blah blah blah.
I just explain that I was taught "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it at all". And the eyeballs roll. And I smile sweetly.
Then I usually excuse myself to the bathroom, and oops...forget to go back. People must think I have a micro-bladder.

This group attack behavior is not reserved to the female gender. I've seen guys do it too.

I just don't get that.
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Old 02-24-2015, 05:11 PM   #88
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I am back after the "couple of cosmetic surgeries." ....
Does your plastic surgeon offer refunds?
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Old 02-24-2015, 05:56 PM   #89
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Yeah, you "get it." Thing is, I don't say anything at all - don't explain myself - don't say how I was raised. People know when I've checked out of the conversation. Sometimes there will be a little "dig," like "Gee, Amethyst has gotten awfully quiet all of a sudden." Then they all turn and look at me, and I know I'm "out" of that group for good. Probably I had been "out" of it for a while, and just didn't yet realize I was dead.

Frankly, I wish I wasn't so sensitive.

Amethyst

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I totally understand. I refuse to participate in any sort of unkindness towards other people. I've been verbally provoked and still walk away from it.
For this reaction I am called "aloof", or "princess", or am informed that "you think you're better than everyone", blah blah blah.
I just explain that I was taught "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it at all". And the eyeballs roll. And I smile sweetly.
Then I usually excuse myself to the bathroom, and oops...forget to go back. People must think I have a micro-bladder.

This group attack behavior is not reserved to the female gender. I've seen guys do it too.

I just don't get that.
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Old 02-24-2015, 06:46 PM   #90
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...Then I usually excuse myself to the bathroom, and oops...forget to go back. People must think I have a micro-bladder. ...
or an enlarged prostate.
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Old 02-24-2015, 06:52 PM   #91
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or an enlarged prostate.
Unlikely.
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Old 02-24-2015, 07:46 PM   #92
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Does your plastic surgeon offer refunds?
What? I am surprised you are not asking for my surgeon's phone number.


Back to the OP ... sense of humor this forum members have, not to mention breadth and depth of knowledge (a few of which are totally useless ).
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Old 02-24-2015, 08:32 PM   #93
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or an enlarged prostate.
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Old 02-25-2015, 12:33 AM   #94
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I take this to mean, "Outstanding post, redduck, simply outstanding!"
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Old 02-25-2015, 07:15 AM   #95
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or an enlarged prostate.
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Unlikely.
Redduck probably doesn't realize (or forgot) that I'm a chickie.

No harm, no foul.
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Old 02-25-2015, 07:17 AM   #96
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Yeah, you "get it." Thing is, I don't say anything at all - don't explain myself - don't say how I was raised. People know when I've checked out of the conversation. Sometimes there will be a little "dig," like "Gee, Amethyst has gotten awfully quiet all of a sudden." Then they all turn and look at me, and I know I'm "out" of that group for good. Probably I had been "out" of it for a while, and just didn't yet realize I was dead.

Frankly, I wish I wasn't so sensitive.

Amethyst
Well, if it gets really uncomfortable, you could always pull out your cell phone and start texting or playing solitaire. If the group asks what you're doing, give them your most bewildered look (as if you got suddenly roused from a deep sleep or trance) and then excuse yourself to the bathroom.

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Old 02-25-2015, 10:28 AM   #97
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Redduck probably doesn't realize (or forgot) that I'm a chickie.

No harm, no foul.
Hey, I remember you sitting on Santa Claus's lap. You definitely looked like a chickie to me. And, I remember you tutoring Mr. B in physics and hanging out with him at the Legion (or someplace like that).

Let's just say that the diagnosis was off the mark.
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Old 02-25-2015, 08:28 PM   #98
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But if you are always lying, how could anyone who hopes to find someone like you, be certain you are not misrepresenting yourself?
What do you call someone who doesn't misrepresent himself? Lonely.

Ha
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Old 02-25-2015, 09:32 PM   #99
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What do you call someone who doesn't misrepresent himself? Lonely.

Ha
Yes, we all figured out quite awhile ago that you are really the soft sentimental type beneath the tough guy virtual exterior.
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Old 02-26-2015, 12:48 AM   #100
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That is solid, practical advice but sounds like work. If I cannot be free and easy around others, I would rather not be around them at all unless it is necessary for survival.
It is hard to describe the deep, almost poisonous sense of wrongness I get from having to pretend I am someone I'm not, who agrees with things she does not. Especially when contrasted with the joy of comfortable social interaction.

A.

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Well, if it gets really uncomfortable, you could always pull out your cell phone and start texting or playing solitaire. If the group asks what you're doing, give them your most bewildered look (as if you got suddenly roused from a deep sleep or trance) and then excuse yourself to the bathroom.

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