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Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-28-2006, 08:14 PM   #1
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Wedding Sticker Shock

I've been reading about the huge costs of today's weddings...

http://search.csmonitor.com/search_c...4s03-lihc.html

When DW & I married ourselves in a Quaker ceremony in 79, we had a pretty frugal budget.

Can you beat this....
It was out in the garden of our meeting house. Everyone brought a dish and some Martinelli's Apple cider. We bought new clothes at JC Penneys for the occasion. One of the folks did the photos.
I think including the license and clothes we spent under $100.

How much did you spend...How much did (would) you on a child's....

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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-28-2006, 09:33 PM   #2
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

Well, I don't know if we had a >>wedding<< but we were married.

- Went to the Justice of the Peace, witnesses were his office staff. (By the way, he was a really nice guy and talked with us for about 20 minutes before he would perform the ceremony. That's probably a higher "bar" than some other tickets to wedded bliss)

- What we saved on the wedding I spent on the reception--we went staright to Wendy's. I'm a sport, so we both ordered anything we wanted off the menu--no holding back!

- Then we went back to the Air Force Base and got her a dependant ID card before I went back to class. The admin clerk had never had anyone answer "today" when asked for a date of marriage. "Hey, aren't you guys supposed to be somewhere else??"

Anyway, we had a real honeymoon a few months later.

The wedding thang stuck pretty well: 21 years and counting
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-28-2006, 11:32 PM   #3
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

"Wedding? We don't need no steenkin' weddings!"

Together 25+ years, weddings (and expenditures for them) = zero


I will admit to being pretty dazzled by the thought of tens of thousands of dollars being spent on a wedding.

cheers,
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 12:56 AM   #4
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

um, generally speaking, my people aren't allowed to marry. though you'll notice less people complaining about it, when we do, now that they've got exxon to keep their minds occupied. could be high gas prices are just part of the gay agenda only opec considers us abominations too.

if i could have a wedding i think i'd charter a nice boat and do a ceremony at sea. i think that way it is only valid while we are floating on the water because i'm not really the type to be tied down anyway.
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 05:11 AM   #5
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

got 2 kids planning a wedding right now..........oh my god we are up to about 65,000.00 so far.......if it was up to me it wouldnt be anywhere near this cost but this is what the kids want...they know us and the brides family will only kick in a portion and if they want something this extravagant then they are going to foot the cost...we have to more weddings coming up probley a year later.....yikes!
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 05:22 AM   #6
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

The downside to expensive weddings is that so few last beyond 10 years, but , here's hoping.

Mine, Wife's home, Minister wore sandals, 12 people, honeymoon in our new TR6 through Quebec and New England.

33 Years.
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 05:42 AM   #7
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

Married 9 years ago on the hottest day of the summer, JP in stepdaughters back yard with my Man of Honor and his daughter as Best Woman, friend did photography, catered barbque in back yard. Games and small kidde pool for little ones, DJ (friend) for bigger ones, beer and wine, dh's exwifes husband works for rental co, gave us tent, table and chairs for pratcially nothing. Other stepdaughter supplied champange poppers and other small assorted fireworks. Total cost for wedding $3565 - Wedding that family and friends still talk about - Priceless

His friends all biker type, my friends computer nerds and then throw in two different famly dynamics as well as his exwife and husband...it was interesting to say the least.
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 06:51 AM   #8
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

DW's father wanted to spend the money, so we let him. I told him pizza squares and a keg were OK with me, but we ended up with roast beef, shrimp and open bar. I'm glad I have a son so we only have to pay for the rehearsal dinner when he gets married.

What's up with the parents of the bride paying for the wedding? I know it's tradition and all and I ain't complaining, but doesn't it seem a bit antiquated to have the bride's family pay for the wedding?
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 07:16 AM   #9
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107
got 2 kids planning a wedding right now..........oh my god we are up to about 65,000.00 so far.......if it was up to me it wouldnt be anywhere near this cost but this is what the kids want...they know us and the brides family will only kick in a portion and if they want something this extravagant then they are going to foot the cost...we have to more weddings coming up probley a year later.....yikes!
Thats nuts...no way would I spend that kind of money on a wedding. I have 3 daughters, 1 son. All are welcome to have a garden wedding on my farm. I'll even get a keg, coldcuts, and a tent and drag the stereo outside or maybe hire a DJ (no band). Thats how our weddings was, cost maybe $1500-$2000 16 years ago.

When the times comes, I'll project that $2000 into current $$ and offer a similar amount for each wedding...anything beyond that the kids can pay for themselves if they feel that strongly. Same thing as college...offer to pay for (most of) a in-state /state college and if they want to trade-up to a more expensive one, they can...on their nickel.

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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 09:03 AM   #10
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

Quote:
The downside to expensive weddings is that so few last beyond 10 years, but , here's hoping.
good point. of course, when folks get a divorce, they get to split the debt 50/50. Seems like folks should spend more time in pre-marriage counseling or the like rather than this.

Maddy, the romantic, frugal, pragmatic fool.
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 09:19 AM   #11
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, d-to-d, but we only have sons and paid for the oldest one's wedding last yr. (bride's mother is deceased and she is estranged from her abusive father).

The good news was that the whole darned thing cost us about $2000 for a by-the-lake ceremony followed by a sit-down dinner for about 85 guests at a friend's supper club.

We've been attending quite a few weddings lately (friend's kids) and have seen the whole gammit of costs. It's interesting that one of the two elaborate ones we attended, well the marriage itself made it 8 months. Sad, very sad.
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 10:21 AM   #12
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

I do think it's one of the most insane trends these days.* Yes, it's a special day, but the whole thing is totally out of control!* It seems that the whole focus is on the wedding (4-6 hours, whatever) and not on the marriage (30-60 years, whatever).* An acquaintance of mine made a huge deal about her whole wedding, spent thousands upon thousands of $$$ and God only knows how many hours planning the thing, and a year and a half later, they are getting divorced.*

DH & I got married in 1980, a small ceremony and a sit-down dinner with 35 of our family & friends.* It was wonderful, and people still talk about what a special day it was.* My dress cost $50 (vs. the bridesmaid dress I bought for my brother's wedding that same year that was $85).* The dinner was in a small family restaurant - the bill was around $300.* They didn't have a liquor licence so we brought our own champagne.* We picked up the cake at a local bakery and decorated it with our own fresh flowers.* What a great day!

Just another example of the LBYM vs. non-LBYM, I guess.

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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 10:35 AM   #13
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

Some studies have drawn a direct correlation between the cost of a wedding and the quickness of divorce along with the nastiness of the divorce.

Maybe thats a case of foolish spending or fairytale expectations leading to trouble, its tough to say. Its also said that money is the basis for many relationship problems. Blowing six figures in one day might be indicative of a money problem

I bought a new suit for a couple of hundred bucks as I had tossed all of my old ones, my wife bought a dress from a wedding clearance place for $18 that fit her perfectly. Justice of the peace at the county hall where they had a cute little chapel set up, with our parents in attendance. The following saturday we had a 'reception' at my house for about 25 people. I cooked a whole 18lb boneless rib eye roast with all the extras. Whole thing including the clothes was under $500. No stress at all.
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 11:32 AM   #14
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

Statistics indicate that the duration of marraiges after 1995 is about 5 years.
So, at the figure of $65,000, noted earlier, you have a net cost of $13,000 per year of wedded bliss.

Hope it's worth it.
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 11:33 AM   #15
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

Under $1500, not counting prescription pharmaceuticals. All in a restaurant, spouse's wedding dress was passed on from a friend, I rented a tux (no way I was getting married in a military uniform).

It all started when I had a conversation with my then-steady girlfriend of five+ years. We'd already been separated by several time zones for three years. I was in Charleston, SC, and she was in Lajes, Azores. In 1986 this conversation was roughly 10 cents per word.
Me: "The assignment officer says he doesn't have enough submariners to let me waste three years at graduate school in Monterey."
Her: "Well, I have orders to Monterey. Where does he want to send you?"
Me: "Instructor duty at Nuclear Power School in Orlando."
Her: "Hmmm... if we were married, would he have to send you to Monterey?"

You can see where that went. We had eight weeks before I had to be back in Scotland for my final boomer patrol. I had to pass the dreaded day-long Engineer's Exam at Naval Reactors in Washington, DC before that. I went into 18-hour/day study mode and managed to convince my boss that he wouldn't look like a total idiot by sending me to the exam. It was gonna be a heck of an August wedding.

Spouse's mother, to whom I will be forever in debt, was able to rent out an Annapolis restaurant for 40. Invitations (remember engravers?) were done up in less than a week for a wedding only six weeks away, leading to persistent pregnancy rumors. (Remember when you weren't supposed to be pregnant until AFTER the ceremony?) A friend agreed to do the music. We found the area's only available photographer who screwed up so badly that 20 years later my MIL can't even look at the (heavily retouched) album without getting angry.

I took the exam on Monday. I found out on Tuesday morning that I'd passed. That afternoon we got started on the license/blood tests ("Expedite, please, here's more money!") and the rings ("Yeah, sure, we'll take that one, whatever, it looks nice & shiny"). Spouse showed up Tuesday night for a hedonistic reunion and an expensive celebratory dinner. (I let a friend pick the wine. Turned out he was a $70/bottle oenophile.) Wednesday was cleanup on all the Tuesday projects. Thursday was a quick rehearsal and the "rehearsal" dinner ("Hi, Mom, Dad, glad you guys could make it!"). Friday was more cleanup stuff. By Saturday my MIL-to-be was probably shotgunning Valium while trying to deal with all the relatives packed into her home.

The ceremony went flawlessly, although I still suspect that the minister was slightly inebriated. The guests stood at a U-shaped table arrangement behind their place settings, so we were married in the middle and everyone took seats for the eats. (This was done for spouse's grandparents, all four of whom were in their high 90s.) We had a great party. Heck, we had an even better weekend.

Sunday we faxed our marriage certificate to our assignment officers. Sunday evening I flew to Holy Loch for my final patrol, where I spent three months trying to explain to a disbelieving crew how I'd spent my last liberty weekend. Spouse & I were in Monterey before Christmas; I was the only submariner there for nearly a year. I still thank my MIL at least annually for putting the whole thing together.

But it looks like the marriage is going to work out OK!
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 12:23 PM   #16
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

Greg and I, towing a couple of sibs for witnesses, went to a judge I know and got married. We got our rings from a pawn shop. Went to Thunder Bay, Ontario for the weekend. I had cramps so it wasn't as much fun as it could have been.
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 02:06 PM   #17
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

We lived together (free) for seven years, then decided to get married. We both took the afternoon off work that day. I made cupcakes and took them to work, then mentioned casually that we were getting married that p.m. I asked two friends from work to accompany us as witnesses. Drove to a small town 20 miles away that was the county seat of my husband's family (for purely sentimental reasons). Got married by the local JP. My parents and his parents also attended, which was nice, considering we called them a couple days in advance.

Afterwards, we all trouped over to the local diner for a wedding dinner. My new father-in-law paid the bill, which knocked $100 off our total bill. I think we did the ceremony for under $100, including the wedding ring. Got that at Montgomery Wards for $60. I wish now I had gotten a cheaper one, because I lost it a few years later.

And no, we didn't "have" to get married, we just made a decision on the spur of the moment, although we had been kicking the idea around for several years.

I forgot to mention we got married over the 4th of July weekend, because we both got an extra paid day off. We went to the coast for our honeymoon and stayed in cheap hotels and ate breakfast out every morning. It was fun.

I'm not going to pay for my kids' weddings, because I think it is a collosal waste of money. I will help them pay for college, because that is a sound investment. Besides, they'll have much more fun being creative and paying for it themselves.
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 03:06 PM   #18
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

Whoops, I did forget about the cost of the wedding rings. We got married in 1980. Anyone remember the price of gold back then?? :P About what it is now. I think we paid upwards of $600 for a couple of fairly plain wedding bands. And the price went up signigicantly in just the few weeks it took us to decide which ones we wanted.

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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 03:37 PM   #19
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

we got married last year..our rings were around 600.00
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock
Old 04-29-2006, 03:39 PM   #20
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Re: Wedding Sticker Shock

Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107
got 2 kids planning a wedding right now..........oh my god we are up to about 65,000.00 so far.......if it was up to me it wouldnt be anywhere near this cost but this is what the kids want...they know us and the brides family will only kick in a portion and if they want something this extravagant then they are going to foot the cost...we have to more weddings coming up probley a year later.....yikes!
Do they already own a house, or at least, if they think real estate is overpriced, have a fund to buy a house in the future

Why would anyone spend so much on one day when there are such more important necessities to pay for!!!
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