Are we supposed to list just our top fear? Or am I the only one with multiple conditions?
The good thing is that as I revolve around the sun more and more, I seem to gradually 'get used to' some of these in a small way:
Heights: tried walking up the Eiffel Tower - made it to the 1st landing.Couldn't take a single step more above it if my life depended on it. I think with heights, it's a thing where if I feel fresh air on my face, I'm a goner. However, if I'm enclosed (like at the top of the St. Louis Arch), then I'm relatively ok. Also, if it''s on a ladder more than 6' off the ground, I'm a goner too
. Which made things really interesting on construction jobsites when I occasionally was faced with possibly having to climb up a ladder. I always took the long way around.
However, during my trip to New Zealand last year, I signed up for a glacier hiking expedition. They didn't tell me that you would have to climb up steps carved in the ice, or climb up a 15' ladder leaning against a giant boulder. Somehow, when I didn't have time to ponder it (and realizing that I paid my $160 and would have to sit there all day and make a fool of myself in front of everyone else), my mind was able to say "awww, shut up you big whiner" and just kicked myself into action. Perhaps I need a financial penalty to get over my fear?
Sharks: I don't know why, but when I was little, I was afraid of swimming by myself in my parents' swimming pool. (No, it wasn't cloudy with algae where you couldn't see the bottom
). Was always paranoid of a shark. Same with being in the ocean. Have since gotten over the pool thing, but still a little weary of being in the ocean.
Running out of money - well, I suppose you could say that.
. Perhaps that's why I'm such a cheapskate? Or perhaps my thriftiness is independent, interdependent, and co-dependent (all at the same time) with my expenditure style?
Needles: I've noticed that I actually stop breathing when faced with it because I'm so nervous (partly from anticipation of pain that never really materializes - odd, because I have a fairly high pain tolerance). When I had an ingrown toenail a while back and needed a numbing shot for the podiatrist to finish yanking it out, I was so nervous that I simply stopped breathing (didn't realize it at the time). The smart-assed assistant looks up at me, smiles, and says "You've turned white!"
"no sh*t sherlock! Can you do anything to make this poor patient feel even more uncomfortable?"
Have also had a few blood samples taken over the years. Have noticed that I am getting better on those - just have to remember to keep breathing.
I think it's part of a reflex to 'withdraw' away from the needle as much as possible - and for some reason, I'm so focused on trying to draw back into myself that my body isn't worried about breathing.
Fear of the unknown: like walking through the woods or in the basement and I feel a spiderweb brush across my face/hair/shirt. I know the odds are overwhelmingly in my favor that the spider (if even there) isn't poisonous - but it's the aspect of 'not knowing' what the hell situation I'm in that bothers me the most. (No, I don't have a fear of spiders. In fact, I'm fascinated by all animals - it's just the 'not knowing' part...). I suppose that's also why I'm always 'aware' of what's going on around me whenever I'm outside at night. Even if it's out in the suburbs where your chance of catching a cold is 100x greater than being the victim of any crime.
