Your possessions - what do they mean to you?

[DangerMouse]

I was reading an interesting article in the London Times yesterday on clutter and how to get rid of it. The link is below.

However, it got me thinking about my relationship to my things. For example, why if I am a size 12 do I continue to hold onto my size 6 clothes? After giving it some thought I realised the reason I did so was because I want to be a size 6 and it is as if I think by holding onto these things I can believe it will happen. The memories I associate with being a size 6 are much more pleasant than shopping as a size 12. It was a bit of a wake up call for me. It certainly inspired me to go through my wardrobe once again and pull out clothes that I am not really wearing. I managed to remove another 40 items and place aside for donation.

Seeing these clothes hardly worn makes me feel guilty for the money I have wasted as well as gluttonous for having so much. I think for me the volume relates to when I was growing up and we never had new clothes. Everything except for underwear was a hand me down.

Interiors: another fine mess you’ve got me out of - Times Online

I think buying things and owning things does control so much of our lives. After all, the more we accumulate the more we seem to desire to have. Following is an interesting blog I read on someone who faced up to what they owned and made some decisions on how it effected their life. Reading this made me realise so much of that applied to my life.

10 Unexpected Costs of Owning Things | AlmostFearless.com more.

 

[Nodak]

The things I have that I would never part with would all fit in my car. Those things (a 1936 E.H. Scott radio, McIntosh stereo system, Questar telescope, and my favorite books) I have owned for 40 years or more and they will always be part of my life. Other than that I like a very simple life; I live in an 850 square foot house, am debt free, and do not want for anything. I do, however, have a weakness for expensive electronic stuff but never get too attached to any of it.

 

[SarahW]

I like having nice things, but I HATE clutter. Once I've "enjoyed" something I usually have no problem getting rid of it. (Do not mention this to my hubby. )

Oh...and has anyone seen "Hoarders?" YIKES.

 

[Moemg]

The only things that mean something to me are all sentimental items . China that I inherited, drawings from my kid's , christmas ornaments from my travels ,family photos , sentimental cards and love notes . Everything else is just stuff !

 

[unclemick]

Hmmm - having everything more or less taken by Katrina - I wish we had packed less underwear and more pictures/momento's.

Alas - hindsight.

heh heh heh - stuff can be replaced. Also I heard this rumor you can't take it with you.

 

[Orchidflower]

Hmmm - having everything more or less taken by Katrina - I wish we had packed less underwear and more pictures/momento's.

Alas - hindsight.

heh heh heh - stuff can be replaced. Also I heard this rumor you can't take it with you.

Lucille Ball lost a home once and said to always grab the photos. All else is replaceable.

 

[WhoDaresWins]

The things that mean the most to me have the least intrinsic value: family photos, old letters, pillow cases my grandma embroidered, kitchen utensils from my childhood home. My husband had several pairs of aviator sunglasses...I keep a pair in the glove compartment of the cars, his Army dogtags on my key ring. I adore a gift from my son (made with the help of his kindergarten teacher): a cigar box covered with contact paper with his photo under the lid...my favorite jewelry box.

 

[Koolau]

Never thought I was into "possessions" until I moved 5000 miles - and couldn't get rid of what wouldn't fit into the 2 suitcases I used to move "important" stuff. Had a good chance last year to get rid of stuff (almost 3 months) but didn't make much of a dent. I'm going to really try this year to get motivated - the sheer cost of storing all that cr*p should be motivation enough - but so far it hasn't been.

Beyond the sentiment involved with "stuff" (e.g., mom's piano!) I can not throw stuff away if it has any possible utility. I don't worry too much about "value" (never been into Craig's list or Ebay), but I just about have to find a "home" for everything even if it's the Starvation Army or Good Swill. Dumpsters just don't cut it for me. DW is just as bad or worse! Probably the reason we could retire with no more income than we earned in our life times. We 1) never bought a lot of stuff 2) We never wasted much of anything. Still, most good traits have a down-side and "clutter" is the down-side of frugality in our case.

Maybe unclemick's "solution" isn't such a bad one after all. A convenient tornado or other natural disaster could take care of my problem.

 

[Amethyst]

I come from a family of people who love stuff. My possessions mean a lot to me - either someone gave it to me, or I worked hard to afford it or drooled over it for months before parting with the cash, etc. And then there are all the items that I have personally created. If I can't take my stuff with me, I refuse to go!

DangerMouse's post reminded me that I used to be a Size 10 - 12, and am now a Size 6 - 8, without having lost any weight. In fact, I weigh somewhat more than I did when I wore Size 12s.
So I have Size 12 clothing in my closet, from the early 1980's, that still (pretty much) fits, alongside 6's and 8's that also fit.
(A couple of 20-something men in my office were shooting the breeze, and when one told the other that he would never consider dating a woman who wore a size larger than 2, I almost died except that it wasn't any of my business).

Amethyst

 

[yakers]

Pictures are starting to be a burden. Good thing they are now coming in digital format. My 90 year old Mom has a closet full of photo albums and most of the people in them are gone. No real way to share them no great interest by children, grand children & GG children. A FEW good photos of the old farm and family are a good idea, looking through 200 pictures of a now deceased uncle's wedding in 1940 not so desirable. When I first retired I spent some time & effort scanning 800+ slides of DWs relatives and some travels in the 50s & 60s. I think they have been viewed maybe once by any of the relatives who were furnished a copy. Only good part is the slides are not taking up room, are not fading and are accessible from an index.
The most valuable heirloom I have is my father's musical instrument (concertina) I can remember him playing it. It will be passed on to my son who is actually a musician although as a metal drummer he would be an alien to my Dad.

 

[freebird5825]

I have some kitchen things that belonged to my Mom. My favorite is a salt and pepper set shaped like lobster claws. I use them every time I cook. They are 4 inches tall, ceramic, bright red with black speckles, classic 1960s style. I remember the low budget Cape Cod vacations we went on when I was a child. My affair with the seashore started a loooong time ago.
There are several things from my 20 year marriage to LH that are precious, things that remind me of our trips together.
I have a ceramic happy smiley turtle and 2 piggy banks that I made in ceramics class as a young teen.
I'm in the process of major decluttering, so many things are being donated. But never ever will these sentimental items be given away.

 

[W2R]

When we evacuated for Hurricane Katrina at nearly the last minute, I rode in Frank's car and only took two days' clean clothing and my laptop. Afterwards I did not know the status of my house, any of its contents, or my car until we returned almost a week later.

Of course the photos mattered. I beat myself up unmercifully for leaving them behind. But also I was really surprised at some of the other things that mattered to me, that I didn't think mattered to me at all. For example I was surprised that my (cheap) collection of paintings and sculptures was such a Big Deal to me, but it is. So was my favorite fake Tiffany lamp. I spent the time after evacuation, while watching our city drown on TV, crying for our city and my friends and co-workers, whose fate I did not know, and making lists of what I had left behind that I felt I needed.

So, I now have a hurricane list that went through the acid test, so to speak.

In 2011-2012 we plan to move to Springfield, and I don't plan to take much with me. No point in taking much furniture, because even though I am fond of my furniture it isn't worth much and it might not look right in another house. I have been downsizing for the past few years in preparation for the move. As a result, suddenly my house has ample closet space.

 

[W2R]

Pictures are starting to be a burden.

My great-grandfather was a professional photographer in the old West. Somehow I ended up with many of his photos, which are family treasures, plus I ended up with many of my parents' photos and my own.

I had been intending to scan all of these but it is a prodigious task and frankly, I have barely scratched the surface.

So, I removed all of these photos from all of their photo albums, wrote what they are on the back of them, and threw out the photo albums. Then I put the photos (and my diplomas) in a rubbermaid under-the-bed plastic container about 30"x18"x6". Now, when we evacuate for hurricanes I just grab the container and put it in the car, and I know I have all my photos. I am sure this is not the best way to treat old photos in the long term, but it is working for me for the time being.

 

[tinlizzy]

I accidentally set the kitchen on fire during my last Lupus flare (forgot the teapot on the stove). Small fire - no big deal but I had a reoccurring nightmare afterward that a little bisque angel I have was destroyed. I love that angel, it looks just like my DS. I think that angel was replacing my son in those nightmares. Other than that angel, the thought of losing everything else didn't bother me.

 

[Walt34]

I'm also in the process of getting rid of stuff. Hardest to part with is the radio control airplanes, in part because I spent so much time building and flying them. It was a great stress reliever in part because the mental concentration required pushed everything else aside. But I haven't flown one for years, I suppose because I "plateaued" with that hobby. Or maybe I just don't need that stress reliever anymore.

And I have a basement full of tools, a workbench 14 feet long, and five cabinets full of associated R/C materials that I am slowly whittling down by either selling, giving away or trashing. The specialty tools for tiny size things I'll keep as they are remarkably useful in working on small household stuff, like repairing a broken necklace chain.

DW once asked "If anything happened to you, what am I going to do with all this stuff?" I told her "Go through the house and decide on what you want to keep. Then call an auctioneer, point to the rest and say 'Make it go away.'"

 

[Nords]

20 years in the military formed the habit of packing all your stuff up every 2-3 years and handing it over to govt contractors (of the fabled lowest bid) who promised to ship it thousands of miles and hypothetically return it to us undamaged.

We learned pretty quickly to sever all emotional attachments to our stuff.

If a fire swept up out of the gulch then we'd put the family, the bunny, the computer, and the photo drawer into the car. Everything else is replaceable, and frankly we could learn to live without the last two. And if we weren't home when the fire swept through, then I'm pretty sure we could learn to live with that too.

h...and has anyone seen "Hoarders?" YIKES.

Spouse is strangely captivated by that show. Hopefully it's the horror of watching a train wreck and not a case of "There but for the grace of a few more cubic feet of storage..."

DW once asked "If anything happened to you, what am I going to do with all this stuff?" I told her "Go through the house and decide on what you want to keep. Then call an auctioneer, point to the rest and say 'Make it go away.'"

When my mother died, my father literally had an estate auction. Then he downsized from a 4BR three-story house on a half-acre lot to a 2BR apartment. It's interesting to see what he's kept over the years. As for our house, though, I tell my spouse that it's a good thing I'm dying first...

(A couple of 20-something men in my office were shooting the breeze, and when one told the other that he would never consider dating a woman who wore a size larger than 2, I almost died except that it wasn't any of my business).

Nice of them to let you overhear... now you won't have to waste any time fixing them up with anyone in the gene pool.

 

[vicente solano]

Not being a very sensitive guy, I am ashamed to confess that aside a few photos I hold no real attachment to anything that money can replace. And those photos I´d hate to lose are close family ones only. I tend to forget faces....

 

[Orchidflower]

Nords: I can hear the battle cry now, "Saaaaaave the bunny!"

I heard some fellow long ago saying he wanted someone who wore a size zero or size two and not over 98 lbs and maybe 5'7". I asked him if he had any idea how thin that was? Naturally, he didn't. In fact, his response was, "too thin?" I learned alot of guys have no clue about women's sizes so I'd take that fellow with a grain of salt, Amethyst. Let's hope he was just showing off for the fellas...maybe?

 

[donheff]

A handful of old photos seem worth preserving. Other than that I can't think of anything I would be upset to lose. The hassle factor of replacing things (especially government documents), now that is another matter.

 

[MichaelB]

Possessions are like anchors – they just hold you down. We too have learned from frequent moving – including one where we lost everything. Stuff doesn’t enable, it limits choice.

I spent a bit of time with my father before he passed away and ER has allowed me to spend lots of time with my mother and other relatives. One thing I see in them is the only “stuff” that matters is the kind that represents memories. Pictures and other memorabilia. Family, friends. and special moments.

 

[happy2bretired]

DW once asked "If anything happened to you, what am I going to do with all this stuff?" I told her "Go through the house and decide on what you want to keep. Then call an auctioneer, point to the rest and say 'Make it go away.'"

Yep, been there...it's still a lot of work. My husband collected and collected some more over many years. My entire basement was covered with stuff that had to be sorted and hauled out for a two day auction. I had to do all the sorting and boxing up. I had no help, not even from my daughter. Men tend to collect things that most women don't know about or understand...like guns, tools, military memorabilia, etc. It's not easy knowing what to do and how to handle the husband's stuff. Please think ahead a little.

 

[happy2bretired]

My mother-in-law is passing along some items from her collections to her remaining sons and grandkids. My daughter now has some little glass bells and other assorted trinkets. Every time grandma comes over with more stuff, my daughter and I just sort of look at each other... These things do not mean anything to my daughter. They don't represent her grandmother to her - they are just trinkets.

One thing that my daughter will cherish from her grandmother was a plain green glass candy dish that my daughter had to ask for. My mother-in-law could not understand why she would want that old thing since it wasn't worth anything at all. That candy dish held memories for my daughter. Memories from the old house and both Grandpa and Grandma. My daughter has already picked out a little trinket of mine, telling me never give that away. It's a little ceramic kitty cat that I use to hold safety pins.

I would miss my pictures more than anything. I need to stash more away in my safe deposit box. I already have a very small album in the safe deposit box of our wedding pictures.

 

[bruce1]

I think in a situation where I had to leave I would take my portable drives two changes of clothes, some pictures, my coin collection and my oh cr@p stash (two hundred ounces of silver and several hundred cash). I have way less stuff than I diid two years ago.

 

[kat]

It depends. If I was moving and could take what I wanted, I'd include the things that mattered to me and the things I'd have to replace anyway, like furniture.

If it was limited, by whatever circumstance, I'd take a few pictures, my wallet, and a couple books -- and might consider myself lucky to be free from all the other crap.

 

[FinanceDude]

DW and I disagree on stuff. We both grew up with very little. However, the impact on her was much greater than myself. I have given so much stuff to Goodwill they should have a special section just for me. Dw collects clothes and stuff, much like her dad, who was a pack rat..........