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Old 09-22-2016, 10:39 AM   #81
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When you pull your hand out of a bucket of water, does it leave a hole?

_B
I've always loved that saying.

I remember the first time some smarmy putz said it to me. As I told him, "Of course it does. It's just in a different place and of a different shape but, you're too stupid to recognize the void that's been created."

OP-Take the advice you're getting here. Focus your energy on the positive and on you; you'll be happier that way.
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Old 09-22-2016, 11:38 AM   #82
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Originally Posted by Huston55 View Post
I've always loved that saying.

I remember the first time some smarmy putz said it to me. As I told him, "Of course it does. It's just in a different place and of a different shape but, you're too stupid to recognize the void that's been created."
I use the hole in the water principle at times...skip to 2:07
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Old 09-22-2016, 03:54 PM   #83
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Once I did burn the bridges when left mega corporation due to a department outsourcing new management implemented. At that time I refused a new subcontractor (which took our Dept responsibilities) job offer because I got much better offer from another contractor. If I had a chance, i would not do it again. I worked for another 6 years but the manager from mega Corp tried to spoil my reputation wherever he cold. Obviously HR rep told him everything I told them at the exit interview and it did not change anything.
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Old 09-22-2016, 04:07 PM   #84
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Forgot to add that after a new vendor took over the cost of Families maintenance went up almost 50℅ so they fired that vendor after only one year service and hired another vendor who did a bit better but still far from our original cost. I had a former co worker who told me that. Yet once top management make a decision it will be very unusual that they back off from it, damaging their reputation.
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Old 09-22-2016, 05:07 PM   #85
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That is just people being people. If they'd liked you, it would have been "Oh, 2020 is letting me drive his beautiful car, what a guy! [gal?]" But they don't like you apparently, so it's "Hmph, that 2020 really likes to rub it in about his big fancy car."

Heck, if you were beautiful or smart, they'd manage to find ways to knock you for that. People!

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Once I quit, I heard from other colleagues and manager himself about who was bad mouthing behind my back. I offered to these same folks to drive my Mercedes and they were jealous that I had one !
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Old 09-22-2016, 07:50 PM   #86
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"Families" maintenance - not sure why or who changed it but it is Facilities Maintenance (HVAC, electrical,Plumbing, process gases, Clean Rooms etc).
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Old 09-22-2016, 08:38 PM   #87
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RioIndy:

Let me offer a slightly different perspective on your situation. It may seem like the long way round, but bear with me.

When I was a young boy in Sunday school, I memorized the prayer found at Matthew 6:9-13 ("Our Father . . ."). It didn't mean much to me at the time. It was just something that we said at the same point in the Sunday service every week, although there was some confusion when we changed churches and had to say "forgive us our trespasses" instead of "debts." It was not until later that I read the verse which follows it -- "if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you." At first, it just seemed a fair exchange - forgiveness for forgiveness. You know, the whole "do unto others" thing. But then I got to asking myself "if God forgives those others, why do they need me to forgive them?" That proved a question for a later day.

It was not until I had many more years under my belt that I began to understand the point of the biblical injunction -- forgiveness is not for the benefit of others, but for me. When I hold a grudge, the anger and hatred that I carry around in my heart controls me. It affects what I think, how I feel and whether I enjoy my life. It even affects me physiologically; I have trouble sleeping and my blood pressure rises. I am quite literally in thrall to those whom I hate. It is only by letting go of my anger and sense of grievance, by "forgiving," that I can wrest control of my life from the grip of those who have harmed me.

It seems to me that this is also the whole point of becoming financially independent and retiring early. We want to regain control of our own lives, to live in freedom and independence, answering to no one but ourselves. That means not just physical freedom, but mental freedom as well. To that end, I think you should pass on the opportunity to "speak your mind" on the way out the door. As much as your supervisor may deserve a tongue-lashing, it is crucial to your future happiness that you just let it go. It is something that happened long ago, in another country, and it should not occupy a single nanosecond of your thought after you are gone. I fear that if you indulge your current grievance, it will.

Gumby
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Old 09-22-2016, 09:25 PM   #88
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Originally Posted by Gumby View Post
RioIndy:

Let me offer a slightly different perspective on your situation. It may seem like the long way round, but bear with me.

When I was a young boy in Sunday school, I memorized the prayer found at Matthew 6:9-13 ("Our Father . . ."). It didn't mean much to me at the time. It was just something that we said at the same point in the Sunday service every week, although there was some confusion when we changed churches and had to say "forgive us our trespasses" instead of "debts." It was not until later that I read the verse which follows it -- "if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you." At first, it just seemed a fair exchange - forgiveness for forgiveness. You know, the whole "do unto others" thing. But then I got to asking myself "if God forgives those others, why do they need me to forgive them?" That proved a question for a later day.

It was not until I had many more years under my belt that I began to understand the point of the biblical injunction -- forgiveness is not for the benefit of others, but for me. When I hold a grudge, the anger and hatred that I carry around in my heart controls me. It affects what I think, how I feel and whether I enjoy my life. It even affects me physiologically; I have trouble sleeping and my blood pressure rises. I am quite literally in thrall to those whom I hate. It is only by letting go of my anger and sense of grievance, by "forgiving," that I can wrest control of my life from the grip of those who have harmed me.

It seems to me that this is also the whole point of becoming financially independent and retiring early. We want to regain control of our own lives, to live in freedom and independence, answering to no one but ourselves. That means not just physical freedom, but mental freedom as well. To that end, I think you should pass on the opportunity to "speak your mind" on the way out the door. As much as your supervisor may deserve a tongue-lashing, it is crucial to your future happiness that you just let it go. It is something that happened long ago, in another country, and it should not occupy a single nanosecond of your thought after you are gone. I fear that if you indulge your current grievance, it will.

Gumby
Well said Gumby!

You'd make a good Buddhist.
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Old 09-23-2016, 06:35 AM   #89
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Very well said Gumby...

Try to be the better person, give a 2 week notice, and move on. Tell them you are leaving for personal reasons, or to pursue other interests, or whatever, but I would be very gracious and diplomatic about it. You never know what the future will bring, and what you choose to do or say today will impact your future.
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Old 09-23-2016, 06:55 AM   #90
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When you pull your hand out of a bucket of water, does it leave a hole?

Thought so.

If you're ready to leave / ER, then just do it and don't look back. They don't care and neither should you. You won't regret a thing (I was in the same boat when I left).

_B
Nope, it doesn't leave a hole in the bucket, but the overall level goes down a bit. Which could be taken to imply that you were propping up the company, and with your departure they're dropping to new lows.

Just like the old cliche of "there's no I in 'team'". But, there is an M and an E...
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Old 09-23-2016, 07:27 AM   #91
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On the flip side... One of the strangest things I ever saw at w*rk was when my boss at Microcorp got laid off. He was a real quiet guy.

As he was walking down the hall the last time, on his way to the door, he stopped at our area, pointed at one guy and said: "Oh, and one more thing. F... U...!"

He then proceeded out the door forever.

The guy he pointed at was a real quiet guy whom we all got along with really well. The boss seemed like a stable guy. He never swore, until this incident. Everyone was confused.

I've always watched for his resume since. No way would I want this guy in my organization. The incident showed some deep concern that could bubble up in uglier ways.
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Old 09-23-2016, 08:27 AM   #92
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On the flip side... One of the strangest things I ever saw at w*rk was when my boss at Microcorp got laid off. He was a real quiet guy.

As he was walking down the hall the last time, on his way to the door, he stopped at our area, pointed at one guy and said: "Oh, and one more thing. F... U...!"

He then proceeded out the door forever.

The guy he pointed at was a real quiet guy whom we all got along with really well. The boss seemed like a stable guy. He never swore, until this incident. Everyone was confused.

I've always watched for his resume since. No way would I want this guy in my organization. The incident showed some deep concern that could bubble up in uglier ways.
Based on the above, I'd be more concerned about the real quiet guy.
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Old 09-23-2016, 08:40 AM   #93
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Based on the above, I'd be more concerned about the real quiet guy.
yeah no kidding
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Old 09-23-2016, 10:28 AM   #94
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I'm struggling with a similar issue in that my former employer is have a special lump sum offer to its defined benefit participants that is in most cases a rip-off (25% discount to the value of the pension benefits based on annuity pricing) but I suspect that the less sophisticated participants may jump at the lump sum even though in most cases it is to their detriment to do so. A part of me wants to sound off to the Chairman of the Board (my former boss), the CFO (a former colleague), and a Director (a former boss from another job) in case they are not aware of the inequity, but I suspect that they really are aware and just don't care.

No real upside for me (other than getting it off my chest) but not a lot of downside either (its not like they can deny me my pension). What to do?

Probably nothing other than draft an email venting my frustration and ultimately not sending it but it still bothers me that they would take advantage of employees and former employees like that... and the less sophisticated participants are those most likely to be harmed.
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Old 09-23-2016, 10:36 AM   #95
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My, albeit cynical, impression is that people seldom want honest feedback even when they ask for it (and they aren't asking for it). Would your boss be in a position to have any impact on the megacorp even if he/she listened to your feedback? I don't see the point in most circumstances.
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Old 09-23-2016, 11:27 AM   #96
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I'm struggling with a similar issue in that my former employer is have a special lump sum offer to its defined benefit participants that is in most cases a rip-off (25% discount to the value of the pension benefits based on annuity pricing) but I suspect that the less sophisticated participants may jump at the lump sum even though in most cases it is to their detriment to do so. A part of me wants to sound off to the Chairman of the Board (my former boss), the CFO (a former colleague), and a Director (a former boss from another job) in case they are not aware of the inequity, but I suspect that they really are aware and just don't care.
C'mon. This is a big issue and they have been told everything about the savings to the company and the true actuarial value of what employees would be giving up.

Wanna do something? Can you rent a billboard that faces the
main exit people take when they leave the salt mine? Take out an ad in a trade paper/local newsletter?
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Old 09-23-2016, 12:44 PM   #97
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That 25% discount is not uncommon, is it? I've never had such a buyout offer, but it seems to me that the ones I've seen always were at some discount. I don't recall if they were as high as 25% but they all seemed like a bad deal so they weren't small.
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Old 09-23-2016, 12:50 PM   #98
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Based on the above, I'd be more concerned about the real quiet guy.
+1

My take would be that he said/did something that got the boss fired.
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Old 09-23-2016, 01:16 PM   #99
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On the flip side... One of the strangest things I ever saw at w*rk was when my boss at Microcorp got laid off. He was a real quiet guy.

As he was walking down the hall the last time, on his way to the door, he stopped at our area, pointed at one guy and said: "Oh, and one more thing. F... U...!"

He then proceeded out the door forever.

The guy he pointed at was a real quiet guy whom we all got along with really well. The boss seemed like a stable guy. He never swore, until this incident. Everyone was confused.

I've always watched for his resume since. No way would I want this guy in my organization. The incident showed some deep concern that could bubble up in uglier ways.
Inquiring minds want to know what underhanded thing your quit well liked coworker did to bring out that type of reaction from the outgoing quit boss?
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Old 09-23-2016, 01:22 PM   #100
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When I retired, I wasn't going to say anything, but the top boss (3 steps above me), offered an exit interview. I elected to tell her that my supervisor was a big fat zero, who thought his job was only to bless the work done by everyone else. They (department head and boss), tried to spin it that my former boss didn't delegate, which I answered back that current boss was on the opposite end of the spectrum. I made one prediction that he would not survive the next audit (he was asked to resign less than a year later).

Did it hurt me? No, I was retiring and there was nothing they could do to affect me. It may have affected the ability to temporarily work for them, but that's something I've never inquired about since I don't need to. Did it change anything? Probably not, but that wasn't my purpose. I spun it as giving a heads-up to the top boss that there problems were in the department. At most, it may have kept her from accepting excuses from my former department.

My final take is that if you need future employment, don't burn any bridges. If you decide to say something, do it in a constructive way so you're not classified as a former employee with an axe to grind (may be classified that way anyway).
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