Financial Implications of Marrying an Asian Lady

[OldAgePensioner]

At 34-37, I shared a flat with two brothers in Redondo Bch, CA and our neighbor was Japanese about 50. He was always trying to get us to visit Japan and marry his nieces. He showed us their pictures nearly daily. He implied ( or at least I infered) that they would marry just to have a means to support their parents.

Fast forward 20 years, I meet a Thai lady in England and we live together for a while and I notice that she sends all her spare money to her parents. She has now gone back to take care of them because of bad health.

NOW; my 57 friend Art in Reno, NV has been married to a Phillipino lady Nina for 8 years now (shes about 27). He says that he gives her parents about 10k per year and they are very happy. Her 22 year old sister Pam is living with them now and he wants me to visit and well, get her out of his house. Even his wife is in agreement.

Should I stop in Reno and get a hot tempered Fillipina who will run wild in SF and coause me all sorts of problems

 

[maddythebeagle]

nm

 

[Spanky]

Their parents can live very comfortably in the Phillipines with $10K. I guess they may expect another $10K from another son-in-law from the U.S.

We cannot really advise you on this matter. Only you can judge whether a person is the right one for you.

My brother-in-law married a girl from Vietnam 1.5 years ago. She was 23 years of age , and he was in his early 40s. They married in LA, CA 2 days after her arrival. Since then, she had refused to any kind of romantic relationship with him and later moved out after 6 months to live with another guy. They are technically still married. It is very obvious that the only reason that she still marries to him is for the green card.

Take care.

 

[Outtahere]

OAP, no advice here but it would be a fun ride while it lasted.


Filipino men are the same way (or at least some). I have a Filipino friend that is married to an American, spent 22 years in the Navy and until retired he had money taken directly from his paycheck and sent to his parents. I believe he felt his obligation ended when he retired.

 

[OldAgePensioner]

Spanky,
I had a Korean friend in LA (guy had a PHD in math from Berkeley) and his girlfriend arrived, never consummated the marriage, left after about 2 weeks to live with some young guy in Pasadena.

Outtahere, I understant from my buddy Art that this young lady does not have Ed Zachary diesease.

Maddy, "nm"

I'm thinking of swing over by Reno, I already know Art's wife quite well. She was a maid in Hong Kong when he met her. She has been extrememly good for him.

 

[MasterBlaster]

A couple of comments...

1) The risk of marrying a 22 yo asian gal is the same as marrying any 22 yo gal. I suspect that the chances of long term success are small.

2) Besides the physical attraction, what exactly do you have in common with a 22 yo foreigner. Just maybe you should find someone a bit closer to your own epoch that you would enjoy spending massive amounts of time with. In that case your chances of success would be much much higher.

- Just my two cents

 

[Sam]

I don't know about Thai, Filipino, or Korean.  But I can tell you for sure about Vietnamese.  Almost everyone, man and woman, supports their parents financially.  The reasons are quite simple.  90+% of South Vietnamese citizen's wealth were taken away when the country fell in 1975.  Those who were lucky to get out, feel a privilege and an obligation to help those stuck behind, parents, siblings, relatives.

By the way, the cost of living is Vietnam is very low.  My father and his wife live comfortably in Saigon on $300/month.

Sam

 

[Nords]

Gosh, this reminds me of every port visit to Olongapo or Yokosuka. Or at least the fallout from those port visits.

2) Besides the physical attraction, what exactly do you have in common with a 22 yo foreigner.

Money & citizenship. You have it, they want it.

 

[Enuff2Eat]

GO FOR IT.

u don't know until u try. u can sit around and ask another thousand question, u will never get the right answer unless it's agreeing with your thoughts.

what do u have to lose?? money or loneliness. pick your choice.

i would marry an asian babe in about same age or a few years younger. i don't think a 20 years old girl is suitable for a 45 years old man. period.



enuff

 

[HFWR]

How about two?

 

[wildcat]

OAP -

You sure are generous with your pocketbook.

 

[Enuff2Eat]

OAP -

You sure are generous with your pocketbook.

Generousity goes along way. U can give the money to the church, temples, politicians, "non-profit" organization (we do this all of the time, basketball team, school bands, soccer trip, lacrose travel fee...), tips for lousy service. OR well, if u reallly reaallly love your wife and it makes you and her happy, give the in-laws "spare" money. what's the big deal, if u can afforded??

Charity starts at home. u know

enuff

 

[wildcat]

Hey I am all for being generous but OAP pays out massive sums of money to relatives who don't seem to want much else other than the money. And I don't quite understand how hooking up with some gal you don't know much about other than the idea that you will have to support her family is being charitable. I would reconsider. I am sure San Fran has some fine women and I suspect you can meet a few once you are there.

 

[kat]

Should I stop in Reno and get a hot tempered Fillipina who will run wild in SF and coause me all sorts of problems

Well, sounds to me like you know the answer you want.

 

[LovesLife]

Her 22 year old sister Pam is living with them now and he wants me to visit and well, get her out of his house. Even his wife is in agreement.

OAP,
One question: Why is the sister and BIL looking to get rid of her?

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

i would marry an asian babe in about same age or a few years younger. i don't think a 20 years old girl is suitable for a 45 years old man. period.

How about two 22 1/2 year olds?

Even if it didnt work out, you could get your own HBO show.

 

[Enuff2Eat]

Hey I am all for being generous but OAP pays out massive sums of money to relatives who don't seem to want much else other than the money. And I don't quite understand how hooking up with some gal you don't know much about other than the idea that you will have to support her family is being charitable. I would reconsider. I am sure San Fran has some fine women and I suspect you can meet a few once you are there.

wildcat,

i am not disagreeing with you but LOVE is expensive. period.  Loneliness is cheap.  However, subsidising for the in-laws is NOT the way to go, at least NOT for me but how about thinking of it like "paying child support".  also, these people are dirt poor, they don't have I-pod, cell phone, nor hi speed internet. what u help them with, they use it for food.  As long as you're happy that's good enuff for me.

by the way, if you marry a fine lady from san fransico, the odd of you getting a divorce  still over 50% right? My point is JUST GO FOR IT. you NEVER know until u try.

enuff

 

[REWahoo]

Should I stop in Reno and get a hot tempered Fillipina who will run wild in SF and coause me all sorts of problems

OAP, aren't there some alternative approaches here? Can't you just stop in Reno sample the goods take a test drive rent not buy for a short visit and hope you don't "get" anything see how things go?

 

[Maximillion]

My Oldest Son, 30, has lived in China for more than 7 years, 5 of those spent with one lady.

He has since parted ways, but she wanted to pursue a career, like many young ladies the world over, children were not a part of her future.

He has since met another young Lady, a Business Woman, they get along very well, maybe even marry.

He could marry any one of many young Chinese Ladies looking for a Visa out, meaningful relationships like all over, just don't drop out of the sky.

He will be responsible for helping her Family, providing monies if needed, it is the Chinese way, he has no problems with that.

China is where he has chosen to make his future.

 

[OldAgePensioner]

Wow, I went out today to get packing boxes from UPS and missed all this.

Here goes, in a big nut shell( nm Maddy)

MB:  I've been dating women about 10-20 years younger than me since I was 30.  Kept me on my toes and older friends, whether male or female, mostly seem to want quiet and peace.  And really dude, I don't have a "long term".

Sam: I agree and many of my buddies are ex-Mil and have Asian wives.  Not a one have I ever heard complain about supporting their wives family.  That is acutally something I respect.  My good buddy talks about his FIL (Chiang Mai) like his real father he never knew.  It's hilarious to hear about some things the FIL does. 

Nords: Those young beauties at those port calls could come pouring across our North and South borders at any minute.  Oh, wait.  No they can't.  Some young GI actually had to fill out millions of lines of paper work.  Those callous bitches.

enuff:  Yeah, I would go to Vietnam or Laos or Thailand and give till I drop before I would give one penny to United Way.  Love to think my money got spent on an oxen versus a BMW 700 series.

LL,
this friends wife and I sometimes walked together to Woolies from Adamson Ave.  She used to ask me why I wasn't married.  Years later we met in another place (England) and she asked the same thing.  Now, she's trying to solve my "problem".


REWahoo, I may take your approach and like any good engineer, many tests and samples may be required.   


My reason for the original question is that the friend, Art, and his wife seem very content.  I still haven't dound what I'm looking for.

EDIT: I reek at spelling.

 

[haha]

OAP, I think you just enjoy being given directions. The typical male olfart around here likes to give advice, not get it.

So what's up with that?

Ha

 

[Maximillion]

I dated a Japanese Canadian Girl for many years, I was surprised at the number of misconceptions that Males have regarding Asian Ladies, they are just like any other Lady.

The Myth about Asian Women being servile is a total myth, in most cases they are the brains and the strength in a relationship.

My experiance is that they are much better managing money than the Male.

 

[OldAgePensioner]

Ha,
could be the same genetics that make me want to be in bed with a 5'0", 96lb lady named Noriko than a 6'1", 160lb lady named Brunhilda.

Don't know just can't get into the "Hey, I'm Burno and let me tell ya....

Max, could not agree more. While most Cau's think blondes are stupid, most are.

 

[justin]

OAP,

I've got a half-asian daughter I'm looking to marry off pretty soon* to a nice respectable gentleman like yourself. You will, however, be required to support her parents during their retirement.


* by pretty soon, I mean in ~17 years.

 

[OldAgePensioner]

justin,
I ain't got 17 years. Can we negotiate?

Since about 1979, Cauc, Asian, Asian, Cauc, Cauc, Asian, Asian, hand puppet.

Dude, my reason for being in your area at one time was a little Jap who decided that NCSU Chemisty was her place. She is now a Prof at one of the Triangle Schools.

She and I did a lot of things that helped her with biology.