Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Guilt about spending money on yourself !
Old 03-12-2018, 06:47 AM   #1
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
frayne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 19th Hole
Posts: 2,719
Guilt about spending money on yourself !

I know this will sound stupid but does anyone else feel guilty about buying themselves nice things ?
__________________

__________________
A totally unblemished life is only for saints.
frayne is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 03-12-2018, 06:48 AM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 43,598
We can't have nice things. DW is constantly pointing out why.
__________________

__________________
Numbers is hard

Although rare, it is possible to read something on this forum you don't agree with and simply move on with your life

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 06:48 AM   #3
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 4,269
Nope. (see my signature)
__________________
Living well is the best revenge!
Retired @ 52 in 2005
marko is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 07:05 AM   #4
Full time employment: Posting here.
racy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 518
For me, no for the big things: vehicles, motorcycles, vacations, etc. But, for the small things, I've been spoiled by 'treasure hunting' at Goodwill. Now, for example, when I see new socks selling for $20, I think 'no way'!
__________________
The Big Lebowski: Are you employed, sir?
The Dude: Employed?
racy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 07:18 AM   #5
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,041
Quote:
Originally Posted by frayne View Post
I know this will sound stupid but does anyone else feel guilty about buying themselves nice things ?
Yes.

One of my personality traits is that I tend to spend freely on others, but struggle to spend anything on myself.

Intellectually I realize that it is foolish and that we need not worry any longer about money, but I still agonize over "wasting" money on myself. Even for small purchases, I find myself hesitating.

Perhaps it's because we didn't have much growing up. Perhaps because when my wife and I were first married we banked my entire income to save for a down payment on a house. Perhaps I'm "cheap". Perhaps I don't feel worthy. Whatever.

I'm working on it. But yes, I do feel guilty.
__________________
Old enough to know better.
joeea is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 07:20 AM   #6
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Car-Guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Citizen of Texas
Posts: 2,738


No. However, sometimes I feel bad stupid when I "way over spend" on one of my hobbies vices.
Car-Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 07:37 AM   #7
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Dawg52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central MS/Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 7,764
No, but I don't over do it. At least I don't think so.....
__________________
Retired 3/31/2007@52
Full time wuss.......
Dawg52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 07:42 AM   #8
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Tampa
Posts: 770
Not sure yet. Working my way through the beginning of retirement.
__________________
TGIM
Dtail is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 07:46 AM   #9
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
ivinsfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,615
Quote:
Originally Posted by racy View Post
For me, no for the big things: vehicles, motorcycles, vacations, etc. But, for the small things, I've been spoiled by 'treasure hunting' at Goodwill. Now, for example, when I see new socks selling for $20, I think 'no way'!
As for me the idea of buying and wearing other peoples used socks is a big "no way'...
ivinsfan is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 07:58 AM   #10
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,344
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
We can't have nice things. DW is constantly pointing out why.
No. I give to charities and give money to my grandchildren (even though both sets of parents are doing very well, financially, so they don't need my money). I have no guilt on selfish purchases. I really do not believe I spend foolishly, but I no longer deprive myself.
REWahoo and I may be married to the same woman. My DW often tempers our purchases.
mystang52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 07:59 AM   #11
Administrator
MichaelB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: On the road again
Posts: 26,034
Guilty? No. We have recently upped the travel budget, and when the kids commented on that (in a good way) my response was to point out that I am now a GOFER that SKIs. That’s

Garrulous
Old
Fart
Enjoying
Retirement

Spending the
Kids
Inheritance
MichaelB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 08:03 AM   #12
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 43,598
Quote:
Originally Posted by mystang52 View Post
REWahoo and I may be married to the same woman. My DW often tempers our purchases.
Yep, DW tempers our purchases by frequently pointing out, "This is why we can't have nice things."
__________________
Numbers is hard

Although rare, it is possible to read something on this forum you don't agree with and simply move on with your life

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 08:07 AM   #13
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
audreyh1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 18,017
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
Yep, DW tempers our purchases by frequently pointing out, "This is why we can't have nice things."
What happens to your nice things? Kids or grandkids? Pets? You?
__________________
Well, I thought I was retired. But it seems that now I'm working as a travel agent instead!
audreyh1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 08:08 AM   #14
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 43,598
Quote:
Originally Posted by audreyh1 View Post
What happens to your nice things? Kids or grandkids? Pets? You?
Yes.
__________________
Numbers is hard

Although rare, it is possible to read something on this forum you don't agree with and simply move on with your life

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 08:20 AM   #15
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
NW-Bound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 20,882
Nice is measured on a continuous scale. We tend to settle on what we think are "nice enough". These become LBYM-quality now that we have more money. We were not born into a rich family, but we were not hungry either. We were taught to not waste stuff, and it sticks.

We have seen relatives who spend freely on themselves, but become stingy when giving to others. We tend to be more generous to others, meaning children, relatives, and strangers. It's our nature, and we see no reason to change.
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that can happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky
NW-Bound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 08:27 AM   #16
Recycles dryer sheets
Choices's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Rural VT
Posts: 200
I volunteered around needy folks for a long time and will always feel that “ there but for the Grace of God, go I”
I feel guilty with a new car and we will soon look at pickups to replace my 2004 Highlander. My only other crazy fling is to buy the softened cream cheese instead of the block type.
We will probably leave a lot of money on the table....
Choices is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 08:41 AM   #17
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
harley's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Following the nice weather
Posts: 6,961
Quote:
Originally Posted by Choices View Post
I volunteered around needy folks for a long time and will always feel that “ there but for the Grace of God, go I”
I feel guilty with a new car and we will soon look at pickups to replace my 2004 Highlander. My only other crazy fling is to buy the softened cream cheese instead of the block type.
We will probably leave a lot of money on the table....
Don't do it! I've been thinking that I'd have to replace my 2004 Highlander for years. But it just keeps going and going. I think it's the best all around car I've ever owned. I look at pick ups with a bit of envy, but I just can't bring myself to get rid of a great vehicle. Especially now that we leave it garaged in MD for 6 months while we're in FL. The mileage increase is slowing down because of that. I'll hit 200K this summer. I think it will outlast me.

As far as buying nice things, we always have. That's one of the reasons so much of what we have is old. It was high quality, and that tends to last. Mostly we don't buy nice things, we do things that make us happy. We have enough things. Even for Christmas and birthdays I tell people if I can't eat it or drink it, I don't want it. Of course, that has resulted in a huge collection of teas, hot sauces, and oils and vinegars. So it goes.
__________________
"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." - Anonymous (not Will Rogers or Sam Clemens)
DW and I - FIREd at 50 (7/06), living off assets
harley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 09:32 AM   #18
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
NW-Bound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 20,882
About not throwing things away, we do not upgrade just to have the latest stuff. Hence our toys are outdated.

The other day, I thought of all the things that I was the first to buy in my family (siblings and close relatives that I know). First to have a PC (1983). The first CD player (1985). The first camcorder (1986). First to have cable TV (1986). First to have surround sound (1992). First to have analog cell phone (1996). First to have digital cell phone (1998). First to have broadband modem and WiFi (1999-2000?). First to have HDTV (2001). First to have a digital camera (2003). First to have a handheld GPS (2004). There are others that I might have missed.

But the early stuff got obsolete so fast. I also lost interest in electronic toys, so became the last in the family to use a smartphone!
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that can happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky
NW-Bound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 09:35 AM   #19
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,420
For us spending money has not been a problem. We spend more on travel, entertainment, dining and sporting events every year since we retired. I tell my kids that we're spending their inheritance and don't feel guilty about it one bit.
Corporateburnout is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2018, 09:35 AM   #20
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Peoria
Posts: 494
RobbieB - would you like to share your thoughts?
__________________

__________________
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So, throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Mark Twain
candrew is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Family Guilt? RetiredGypsy Other topics 6 03-30-2008 08:38 PM
Retirement Guilt TromboneAl Other topics 47 12-19-2007 11:45 PM
Feelings of Guilt Deetso Other topics 19 06-12-2007 08:17 AM
Guilt Trips & Other Doubts SamHouston Life after FIRE 55 03-16-2006 02:37 PM
Got SUV Guilt? Buy Some Peace Of Mind REWahoo Other topics 8 08-16-2005 10:42 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:14 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.