How do I get my GF interested in preparing for her long term financial future?

[freebird5825]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it think...........

Sez who?

PS Mulligan - please show this clip to your GF for a good laugh.

Mr Ed The Talking Horse Public Service Announcement - YouTube

 

[Mulligan]

Sez who?

PS Mulligan - please show this clip to your GF for a good laugh.

Mr Ed The Talking Horse Public Service Announcement - YouTube

Freebird I could show her Mr. Ed talking about bonds and she would laugh, but if she knew the whole idea came from me talking about her on a forum thread, I would need immediate ambulance assistance!

FUEGO said - I apologize that I didn't read the whole thread extremely closely, but Mulligan, you said you have your own pension and are still flush enough with cash to save and invest some pension proceeds? Maybe your GF is comparing her own financial situation with your financial situation and she feels she is so far behind that she could never attain the lofty position you have. As a result she may feel it isn't even worth trying to save and invest. You are on the right track to illustrate how something like $10,000 can turn into $25,000 even at 3% interest.

That is also a big concern for her and many people, I think. As far as money management goes, I knew a lot , but I didn't practice what I knew, because the important thing I had to worry about was getting to a place in my career where the position maximized the pension. Now I am trying to do what I should have done. Your last comment was an important one I believe that hooked her. Originally when I discussed the I Bonds, she asked how much interest she would get. I responded close to $400 with $10,000 you put in. She initially said it didn't seem worth the time. I asked her would you mow your neighbors lawn for $400 and she said yes. I said well that will take an hour and half and this will only take 30 minutes. Then with the extended calculator it really motivated her.
I admit, I was getting that attitude, too as my 5-6 % maturing CD's this year went discouragingly right into my savings account. But, you need maximize every opportunity you get even in the low yielding guaranteed arena. I keep telling myself at 1% money doubles in 72 years, but in 24 at 3%, so it does matter even if it doesn't make you rich.

 

[freebird5825]

Freebird I could show her Mr. Ed talking about bonds and she would laugh, but if she knew the whole idea came from me talking about her on a forum thread, I would need immediate ambulance assistance!

I found it at youtube. Just search on the video title.

It might bring some levity to the $ discussions.

 

[52andout]

My point went over your head! I am not saying she needs a man to marry her, I am saying you are not married to her, thus not responsible for her, and should not push her to do things she is not comfortable with. I think this is a big mistake.

It's like you can't help yourself from trying to manage her money. And yes, she is uncomfortable, or she would do it on her own.

Have you asked her if she would rather you drop it? Or if she wants your advice?

There is a difference between trying to be helpful and setting ultimatums or stamping your foot insisting you get your way. Whether or not this relationship works out the educational advice that he is sending her way cannot hurt her. If she learns about compound interest, how our tax laws favor 401K's and IRA's, she will only be better off for it. Women are at a great disadvantage in almost every society. They get less pay, are apt to take time off for childbearing and childrearing and in my case, followed my husband as he moved for work. I have no regrets but luckily I understood what to do to protect myself.
Today I dropped food off at a local church foodbank. The clients picking up food were overwhelmingly grey haired ladies.
My own DIL had asked a lot of questions after she met our family, as her family is up to their necks in mortgage, credit card, car and HELOC debt and she sees us as early-retirees living a very pleasant life. I never told her what to do but sent her a bunch of books about finance and she got herself out of over $30,000 in credit card debt, has an emergency fund and is saving in her 401K. So people can change if they want to or someone shows a light at the end of a tunnel. And there is no downside to helping this woman through education.

 

[Finance Dave]

I find that I can't force people to change. All I can do is lead by example, and be open and available if there are questions. It might take years before she has questions, too.

The more you push her, the more she might resist. It's human nature.

I agree with this...I've been through some marriage counseling to uncover this...the more data I threw at her (not related to investments, but a parallel issue), the more she resisted. Rather suggest turning your attention to LISTENING to her, understanding her concerns, and then working to reconcile those things. If it's simply that she's risk averse, you may not WANT to change that....she may be talking to her friends about how she gets YOU to be LESS risky.

 

[Finance Dave]

Whether or not this relationship works out the educational advice that he is sending her way cannot hurt her. If she learns about compound interest, how our tax laws favor 401K's and IRA's, she will only be better off for it.

Not sure I agree....it may damage their relationship and she may feel like she's being "nagged at" or "picked on"...which is how my wife felt until I changed my approach. Sometimes we have to quit trying to change others and instead change ourselves.

Over time she may come to his side, but it must be on her own terms.

 

[spirit]

Hmmm. I would be uncomfortable in this situation

If I was a single woman and my boyfriend talked to me about what to do with MY money I would not be impressed. How would he feel if his girlfriend wanted him to quit his investing and invest in "lifestyle" choices building memories of happy times they could take into their old age with them? I'm sure no man would be happy with that choice either. The point is that it is HER money and she has the right to do with it whatever she wants. I have not heard any mention made about shared living arrangements or future investments in common assets. Why would she think anyone has her interests in mind over their own needs?
I know that last spring my husband and I were in our local bank discussing what we would do with some GIC's (in Canada they are guaranteed investments) that had become due. The money involved was almost 200,000 and represented our "very safe" investments. We decided to keep them in cash instead of locking them into a very low interest invironment. We are not sorry we did not go more aggressive since the stock market is much lower.
That is our decision and we are living with it. But if someone told me to put the money somewhere and we lost money on the deal, I know we would not be happy. Just consider this a cash investment that may or may not pay off. There are many advisors who are advocating cash these days.

 

[haha]

This is a touchy topic. Nothing quite like gender politics to call out some polarized opinion.
But people have had good ideas and angles, and it has all been respectuful of everyone concerned.

Good going!

Ha

 

[52andout]

Not sure I agree....it may damage their relationship and she may feel like she's being "nagged at" or "picked on"...which is how my wife felt until I changed my approach. Sometimes we have to quit trying to change others and instead change ourselves.

Over time she may come to his side, but it must be on her own terms.

Excellent point.

A big consideration in a relationship like this is knowing that you have differing opinions and you have to think long and hard before entering further into the relationship. Level of education differences, religious differences as well as money management differences to name a few examples, can all lead to a lot of discord down the road unless they are discussed and both parties are very comfortable with the others philosophy.