how to get laid off --- do you do these steps?

[fh2000]

I saw a member here posting this link:

Don't Get Fired Or Quit, Get Laid Off Instead | Financial Samurai

The 2 steps that are relevant to me currently are:

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* Fade to mediocrity. This is a riskier strategy that must be tactfully managed. Companies let go of their bottom 5-10% performers every year. Some call it the “Jack Welch Rule” from GE. So long as you are one of the average 70-80% of employees, you’ll likely never be let go. Falling to the bottom 10% in performance requires: not being a team player, but still being nice e.g. “Sorry, can’t stay late, gotta go!“, being out of sight, not feeling you’ve put in your best work, and maybe even arriving 15 minutes late at times. Be very careful not to do anything wrong. Most people at firms are mediocre, so don’t feel bad.

* Become disliked, but not hated. Are you the type of person who likes to whistle at your cubicle to the agitation of your colleagues? Do you like to bring back from breakfast or lunch the stinkiest meal possible and disgust your neighbors? Well then, you are on the right path for getting put on the “RIF List.” I’ve had a couple managers tell me they can’t stand someone because of their loud noises and whistles. Because they can’t stand that person, the manager finds nitpicking things to justify a RIF. As the annoying person, you should continue to be nice and smile. Just be a little oblivious.
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Now that I am on my OMY, I found that I sink into this type of mental state and feel guilty about it. I want to work myself into a lay off situation, though company is actually doing well so no lay-offs are in the near future. Throughout my career, I have been working hard and keeping my integrity as high as possible. Slacking off is just not my nature.

I also found myself somehow subconsciously creating situations that would lead to the above mentioned conditions. It is like being a hero all your life, but in the end people will remember you as a traitor.

Do you actually practice what the article recommends?

 

[stepford]

Dilbert readers refer to this as following the Tao of Wally...

 

[Ready]

* Become disliked, but not hated.

Who knows...some of us may have achieved this without actually trying.

 

[robnplunder]

I don't and I can't practice it as I am raised and lived my whole life to do my best in anything I do. Besides, my megacorp does not lay off people too often or offer early retirement package. Bummer, bummer. What are the qualification for long term disability and how do I get one ?

 

[sengsational]

I don't and I can't practice it as I am raised and lived my whole life to do my best in anything I do.

My thoughts exactly, so that was out the window for me. I wrapped up a nice project, put a bow on it and gave notice. After that, no work came my way, but I wrote some tools for some of my buddies in the most horrifically understaffed departments. Just throw away code if they move data centers, but it will keep them afloat for a while. But I digress...

The old megacorp got bought by a bigger megacorp which had a RIF. But, alas, I was not amoung those that got double severance (poison pill that didn't work). I did play the "can you offer me a sabbatical" card and "how about going part time" card, without success. I suppose I could have been more patient, but since I didn't even get a nibble on those, and we just had the RIF, I decided to walk without the incentive and unemployment.

I'm not sure that article has it right about COBRA, though. You get that if you walk, so nothing lost there. And nowadays, you'd probably be better off with an ACA plan since no wages means subsidy $.

 

[jjquantz]

I don't and I can't practice it as I am raised and lived my whole life to do my best in anything I do. Besides, my megacorp does not lay off people too often or offer early retirement package. Bummer, bummer. What are the qualification for long term disability and how do I get one ?

I've been suffering from tennis elbow and my physical therapist says that it is aggravated by using the mouse on the computer. Since most of my day is spent on the computer I am tempted to ask if this qualifies me for temporary disability status.

 

[target2019]

Now that I am on my OMY, I found that I sink into this type of mental state and feel guilty about it. I want to work myself into a lay off situation, though company is actually doing well so no lay-offs are in the near future. Throughout my career, I have been working hard and keeping my integrity as high as possible. Slacking off is just not my nature.

I also found myself somehow subconsciously creating situations that would lead to the above mentioned conditions. It is like being a hero all your life, but in the end people will remember you as a traitor.

Do you actually practice what the article recommends?

No, I don't practice what is in that article, but the conclusion is still the same.

There is an odd interaction of the retire-able ones and megacorp. My point of view in this post is very subjective.

The megacorp that some have retired from is certainly not the megacorp of today. The macro economics just keep growing in new directions. It can't be the way it was, meaning the illusion (or reality) of lifetime employment is tenuous at best. So I understand, dear megacorp.

My personal experience is that as salary has finally climbed to what the market was paying in 2005, I am now out of work for an unspecified time. It feels like indentured servitude. We will bring you back if/when the big bad government comes across with increased funding.

The background is that lesser-paid (read younger) individuals are doing my work. I get it, megacorp wants younger, cheaper bodies. So, I'm taking the unemployment payments with pride. If this is the system I have to work with, I will do my best.

 

[MRG]

I've been suffering from tennis elbow and my physical therapist says that it is aggravated by using the mouse on the computer. Since most of my day is spent on the computer I am tempted to ask if this qualifies me for temporary disability status.

Depending on the severity, you might get STD, your PT, or Dr. would have to make that call. You would have 12 weeks of job protection, after that you can be terminated.

I couldn't intentionally not do my best. I wasn't raised that way.

I found most of the article to be nonsense, at least in the environment I worked in. The bottom 5% would be put on a development plan, you either got to stay because your work was improving, or you got fired for non-perormance. As far as employer paid COBRA, that wasn't an option for those that received packages. Yes you had to be offered it, but you paid full freight.
MRG

 

[target2019]

I've been suffering from tennis elbow and my physical therapist says that it is aggravated by using the mouse on the computer. Since most of my day is spent on the computer I am tempted to ask if this qualifies me for temporary disability status.

That happens to many workers. I've been pushing mice since 1982!

An ergonomic keyboard helped quite a bit. A wireless mouse helped alleviate some of the stress on various joints, too. I also just got a better chair. It didn't match the other chairs on the cube farm and the deputy got really mad...

I don't think you'll ever get a disability rating for tennis elbow. What you can do is ask for a better chair and equipment. Then when it becomes debilitating, you can get corrective surgery. But you'll probably have to go back to the workplace sooner than you'd like.

 

[Midpack]

Is this Apr 1st? Anyone who tries to get laid off deserves to be fired...

 

[ziggy29]

Even when I stopped caring about what I was doing, stopped feeling like my work was useful or meaningful, and stopped caring about making Megacorp and its massive shareholders a lot richer even when my pay was frozen for the last five years, I could never half-ass a job. If I'm going to have a job, I'm going to do my best every time.

 

[GalaxyBoy]

Wow. I had never heard of the WARN Notices for my state. That was worth the effort of reading the article.

I heard a story the other day about somebody in one of our other locations who was dying to get laid off so he could get a severance, and he supposedly already had another job lined up. The story goes that he kept charging a lot of time to overhead, but finally got noticed when he submitted a timecard with 41 hours of OH. LOL!

 

[marko]

Is this Apr 1st? Anyone who tries to get laid off deserves to be fired...

Not sure about other areas, but in our state, there is a fine if you lay off too many people at one time as part of a RIF. So, companies will lay off some and fire others a little before or afterwards.

Obviously, I'd try to get laid off.

 

[TimSF]

My goal was to leave on my terms with my reputation in tact. While severance, unemployment, etc., may have be nice perks - it was not worth damaging my reputation to try to get them.

 

[Midpack]

Not sure about other areas, but in our state, there is a fine if you lay off too many people at one time as part of a RIF. So, companies will lay off some and fire others a little before or afterwards.

Obviously, I'd try to get laid off.

Really. What regulation/law governs that, I'd like to read it. I've heard of laws requiring X days notice for RIF, severance, benefits and other stipulations, but never a limit on numbers. I did find a statute in MA law that defines a plant closing as a RIF of 90% or more of the workforce.

 

[splitwdw]

I don't and I can't practice it as I am raised and lived my whole life to do my best in anything I do.

Agree with robnplunder, I can't imagine not doing your job to the best of your ability. Just the way I was brought up.

 

[ziggy29]

Even when I stopped caring about what I was doing, stopped feeling like my work was useful or meaningful, and stopped caring about making Megacorp and its massive shareholders a lot richer even when my pay was frozen for the last five years, I could never half-ass a job. If I'm going to have a job, I'm going to do my best every time.

I should add that I did my best *within limits*. In particular, I increasingly refused to accept more work when I already had more than I could reasonably do in a 40 hour week. When I was fearful of losing my j*b, yeah, maybe they could have whipped me with fear to take all the work and put in 50-60 hours (for no additional pay), but once I reached the point of corporate apathy AND our "numbers" indicated a layoff was no longer going to impose a catastrophic hardship (especially considering likely severance, which turned out to be 6 months pay), I started pushing back a little. The work I committed to do and *had* to do, I pushed hard to do efficiently and do very well -- but I found myself sometimes saying to people, "sorry, I don't know when I'll have the time to fit this in." I became less and less willing to work unpaid overtime on a regular basis.

My colleague, who also did a lot of the same things I did on our team, was more, well, determined to keep his j*b. He is younger than me by a few years, has a stay-at-home wife, a couple kids and a mortgage, and he needed it a lot more than I did. He worked longer hours, almost never pushed back on additional requests of his time even when he was already swamped, and I suspect that (and that I suspect I was considerably higher paid) played into my getting whacked -- which, apart from meeting and marrying my wife, is the best thing that's ever happened to me....

 

[MRG]

My goal was to leave on my terms with my reputation in tact. While severance, unemployment, etc., may have be nice perks - it was not worth damaging my reputation to try to get them.

+1
If a RIF was offered I would have taken it. Past that protecting my reputation was at the top of the list.

Megacorp was very good about it. My last week my manager had me working on internal audit issues. The auditor knew I was retiring, acted a little shocked that I was working on security issues. I needed and used 'root' acces until my exit. I'm sure my VP was asked about it.

MRG

 

[Dash man]

The MegaCorp I retired from would layoff as programs ended or downsized. If you wanted to go, just don't take advantage of the placement priority they gave to be hired into other programs. I was in a program that was already lean , but well funded, so zero chance of a layoff. Slacking off would have resulted in getting fired. Even if I could have, I agree with the others that say it's not in my nature to not do my best at any job I take on.

 

[jimbee]

This website explains it all. It relates how corporations actually work, in relation to "The Office".

The Gervais Principle, Or The Office According to “The Office”

 

[RunningBum]

Find a job on a project that is likely to be outsourced to India. Add in telecommuting, part-time work, and working on a team that was in a remote plant rather than HQ led to my being visible to my HQ-based director only as a candidate to be laid off. As the project dwindled down, others saw the signs and asked to be transferred to more leading-edge technology projects that were more visible. I offered to stay behind as long as I could could continue to telecommute, and went part-time as things dwindled more. I always provided my customers with the very best support, in overtime if required. When it came to filling out TPS report type work (see the "Office Space" movie), I passed, or at least took my time and did it with minimal effort. My manager knew what I wanted but didn't want to go that path because he thought it'd turn ugly between us when he tagged me as bottom 5%, but when he had to send my project offshore and I said I wasn't interested in learning new tricks, he gave it a try. He wrote up a performance improvement plan, I read it and saw it was done professionally, and signed it with no comment. The only part of the plan I did was a skills transfer presentation. My director got credit for cutting a headcount, my co-workers avoided being the target, and I got a 3 month package. I left with my pride and reputation intact. If someone thinks I should've been fired, they are welcome to their opinion, but my package came pretty cheap to mega corp for a smooth transition and I never cheated them on anything important. I just molded myself into a dinosaur.

 

[Chuckanut]

Dilbert readers refer to this as following the Tao of Wally...

I always admired Wally's career goal: To work himself into a position where he had no effect on anything.

 

[foxfirev5]

While I would probably take an early out package if offered, I will not turn into a lowlife slacker to force the issue. Why work your entire adult life to take this path at the end. Of course it's easier to be above it all when your FI.

 

[growing_older]

Even when I stopped caring about what I was doing, stopped feeling like my work was useful or meaningful, and stopped caring about making Megacorp and its massive shareholders a lot richer even when my pay was frozen for the last five years, I could never half-ass a job. If I'm going to have a job, I'm going to do my best every time.

I'm only somewhat in the same camp here. When I was younger, I was a lot more unrealistic about how much effort I was willing to put in to make up my "best effort" on a job. That saved many projects, but cost me many nights and weekends. I'll never be in the group that intentionally does a lack luster job, but I'm going to draw the line at 50-60 hours and the occasional all nighter. No longer will I take on any project and do whatever it takes (excessively hard work) to get it done. Megacorp never appreciated it and the sacrifice wasn't worth it.

Maybe that's why they want younger workers in my job, because they haven't learned to put reasonable limits yet.

I haven't worked anywhere that any of these intentional layoff tricks would work. Anyone who tried them, or who just was that way without trying, will end up on a performance plan and if they fail to correct the problem, gets pushed out. When we push people out there is no severance and if the company can manage it there is no unemployment. These end up as termination for cause, not layoffs. Definitely a bad idea to try, even if it weren't such a bad idea for other reasons.

 

[marko]

Really. What regulation/law governs that, I'd like to read it. I've heard of laws requiring X days notice for RIF, severance, benefits and other stipulations, but never a limit on numbers. I did find a statute in MA law that defines a plant closing as a RIF of 90% or more of the workforce.

I'll try to find it; going by memory. Had to do with trying to make companies pay extra for putting too many on unemployment. Trying to stop massive hiring and layoffs in boom/bust/boom businesses.

My co. would lay off X% of the force but IIRC, if you went just one person over that amount you got hit an extra X% penalty on the co's future unemployment tax. Seem to remember for us the number of 114 people before the penalty kicked in.

So we'd layoff X -1 person, then wait several months and then do it again. We eventually went to using a lot of contractors instead, as our business had very wild swings.