MyDream.. don't run off just because someone was impolitic; I don't think any one person speaks for "the forum". There's nothing to read between the lines except what you took away from one or two posts out of many others. Hey, people here can be know-it-alls.. cantankerous.. holding ourselves to be some of the best and brightest because "we get it".
AltaRed apologized, and I think you can take some of his advice exchanging the words "why did you not?.." for "why don't you...?" (I know nothing about Canadian investment so I can't comment on particulars.) It's not easy for someone who has devoted themselves to their business to turn financial whiz overnight; many people here now devote themselves to nothing else, so take it with a grain of salt.
It must be very hard (especially for a man, especially for "the breadwinner") to be questioning "what the heck am I doing?" You are looking at a huge shift in providing for your family via the sweat of your brow, versus providing for them through investments, and I can understand how that might be scary. You're not alone in finding that you have investments with overlooked strings attached that you have to disentangle.
You're also not alone in that UncleMick's posts go over your head! (But I enjoy them to the extent that he obviously enjoys them so fully himself..! Go U.M.!)
MyDream.. your posts really touched me. I, too, had a service business (not as stressful as yours - not so much liability) where I walked away with my portion of the accounts receivable and little else (my choice). I know you must worry about your kids, but try to eliminate the "wedding" aspect.. the wedding is about the two people involved and not how much $$ you throw at it. I think there's generally a reverse correlation between wedding cost and length of marriage, and there are any number of resources to help you and your kids pull off an event that is meaningful without breaking the bank.
I really like the idea of branching out into residential kitchens that some other posters proposed, if you choose to keep working in some way.. No one's going to dock you $1,000,000 for one thing, which should cut way down on your stress! I wish you were in Italy; I'd look into hiring you to re-do my kitchen.. (whaddaya think of a wood-burning pizza oven, a Lacanche stove..? some issues with re-building the chimney zone, of course.. there's an open fireplace now that doesn't draw...
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You say you need luck. Most people here would probably say "you make your own luck." I think, along with others, you need to find a way to take a breather and recoup some energy. None of your questions seem silly (and I have seen silly questions posted here). You ARE on the right track! Take a deep breath and keep learning. You are "lucky" in that your wife is basically on board. Many people struggle or have struggled with a spouse who doesn't get it in any way, shape, or form; your conversation with her sounds a thousand times better than other similar "little chats" documented here.. she says openly that your unhappiness makes her unhappy.. so.. cut loose! (Her 'not touching the principal' argument could be re-visited, depending on what you both want to leave for your kids.. a pile of money or a dad who has crashed and burnt. Use the FireCalc and see if there isn't a "third way": 1/2 for you guys, 1/2 for them.. seems fair to me.
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I wish you all the best, and I hope you will keep us posted on how you are doing!