rocketdog
Recycles dryer sheets
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2007
- Messages
- 97
We have been retired since Jan 2008, and have had a wonderful frugal time so far. Although I never "planned" on any inheritance, the in-laws do have a very nice house ($300K) that they own outright, and about a million $$ in CDs that they never touch. They seem to do fine on a pension and social security, which provides them with about 70K per year.
But my MIL has always been eccentric--and has been getting progressively battier. FIL seems to be in denial, although he knows she is a little off, he hasn't noticed the gradual decline in her reasoning as much as we do when we come to visit. We live in OR and they live in VA, so we don't see them too often.
Currently, the will states that if both should die, DH will inherit everything--since there are no other siblings. However, it turns out that MIL is eager to get her hands on that million dollars, and probably has no intention of giving anything to her son. This is according to FIL.
The last time we visited, MIL was accusing FIL of incest with his sister--based on the fact that a christmas card was signed "love, Pat". When my DH and I were less than sympathetic (we kind of laughed when she said it, and told her we didn't want to hear about it) she became irate and kicked us out of their house. MIL also is accusing FIL of having an affair with a woman who called about 15 years ago while they were staying in a hotel in England, and asked for "wee Davey"! She confuses things that happened years ago with things that happened yesterday. She gets letters from her granddaughter, but believes they are from her great grand daughter--despite the signature on the letter (they have very different names).
She has a fridge full of gatorade in every color imaginable, but they don't drink the stuff, and measures out her milk into 2cup pyrex measuring cups--where there is no gatorade, there are pyrex cups half full of milk. The has about 15 measuring cups. She doesn't bother with a closet or dresser any more, just folds the clothes and stacks it in little tidy piles, sorted by color. We tried to do a laundry there, but she refused--she said she needed to do it because she had to watch the washer because it walked across the floor. When I offered to help her level the washing machine, she told me it was level--even though I could see it was obviously tilted. She did the laundry and stole all our socks!
FIL is afraid of her wrath, but I don't think she is beating him up physically. He is not allowed to see his sister any more (because of the incest allegations)--and he hasn't seen her in years even though they live 30 min. away. FIL is afraid to call us and talk to us privately, since MIL will see the call on the bill. Whenever we call, they each get on an extension, and so there is no time to talk without her on the line. When I suggested a prepaid cell phone or email set up, FIL thought MIL would get too suspicious. I could go on and on, but you get the picture...
They are getting on in years--FIL is 80, and MIL is about 76 or so. Health-wise, I'm pretty sure she will outlive him. It's like watching a slow-motion train wreck that can't be stopped--and as long as FIL doesn't do anything, all we can do is hear about it from 3,000 miles away.
I'm not sure there is anything we can do---and I suppose it sounds money-grubbing---but we hate to see her fritter the million $$ on dishtowels and cosmetic bags (her bedroom walls are festooned with cosmetic bags)....I just needed to vent..
ps: MIL's mother was placed in an assisted-living home because she lost her reasoning, too.
But my MIL has always been eccentric--and has been getting progressively battier. FIL seems to be in denial, although he knows she is a little off, he hasn't noticed the gradual decline in her reasoning as much as we do when we come to visit. We live in OR and they live in VA, so we don't see them too often.
Currently, the will states that if both should die, DH will inherit everything--since there are no other siblings. However, it turns out that MIL is eager to get her hands on that million dollars, and probably has no intention of giving anything to her son. This is according to FIL.
The last time we visited, MIL was accusing FIL of incest with his sister--based on the fact that a christmas card was signed "love, Pat". When my DH and I were less than sympathetic (we kind of laughed when she said it, and told her we didn't want to hear about it) she became irate and kicked us out of their house. MIL also is accusing FIL of having an affair with a woman who called about 15 years ago while they were staying in a hotel in England, and asked for "wee Davey"! She confuses things that happened years ago with things that happened yesterday. She gets letters from her granddaughter, but believes they are from her great grand daughter--despite the signature on the letter (they have very different names).
She has a fridge full of gatorade in every color imaginable, but they don't drink the stuff, and measures out her milk into 2cup pyrex measuring cups--where there is no gatorade, there are pyrex cups half full of milk. The has about 15 measuring cups. She doesn't bother with a closet or dresser any more, just folds the clothes and stacks it in little tidy piles, sorted by color. We tried to do a laundry there, but she refused--she said she needed to do it because she had to watch the washer because it walked across the floor. When I offered to help her level the washing machine, she told me it was level--even though I could see it was obviously tilted. She did the laundry and stole all our socks!
FIL is afraid of her wrath, but I don't think she is beating him up physically. He is not allowed to see his sister any more (because of the incest allegations)--and he hasn't seen her in years even though they live 30 min. away. FIL is afraid to call us and talk to us privately, since MIL will see the call on the bill. Whenever we call, they each get on an extension, and so there is no time to talk without her on the line. When I suggested a prepaid cell phone or email set up, FIL thought MIL would get too suspicious. I could go on and on, but you get the picture...
They are getting on in years--FIL is 80, and MIL is about 76 or so. Health-wise, I'm pretty sure she will outlive him. It's like watching a slow-motion train wreck that can't be stopped--and as long as FIL doesn't do anything, all we can do is hear about it from 3,000 miles away.
I'm not sure there is anything we can do---and I suppose it sounds money-grubbing---but we hate to see her fritter the million $$ on dishtowels and cosmetic bags (her bedroom walls are festooned with cosmetic bags)....I just needed to vent..
ps: MIL's mother was placed in an assisted-living home because she lost her reasoning, too.
This must be very hard to deal with from far away. 
