Notth, I would like to apologize for using your “NO!!!!!!!!!” earlier today w/out permission. Sorry. I have a present for you though:
Go out to the store and buy a box of Depends. XXL should be fine. Take one out and fold it into an origami hat—a large pirate origami hat. Staple the two corners together if you can’t do ‘value added’ origami. Buy a stencil set. Put “No Liberal Spin” on one side and “No Conservative/Bush Spin” on the other. You are now ready to put it on your head. I wear mine around the house and in front of the computer—but not when DW is around. Don’t tell her about this; it’s our little secret.
Now, when you get mad at something someone says, just spin the hat around so that the appropriate phrase is facing the annoyance. It keeps the big chunks out. If it gets bad, just pull the corners down tight and attach it to your ears. This covers your eyes too and keeps the smaller bits and stuff out. It’s tough to keep out the glow of the computer screen. It reflects under the edge into your eyes—unless you get XXXL.
I buy the cloth version because I’m a cheap skate. It can also be used if an asteroid visits earth, but don’t wear it on your head at that time.
