Mr. Money Mustache Divorce Blog Post

[aja8888]

Not to change the focus here, but looking at the press release for the Bezos split, I saw the term "loving exploration" (quote below) used in their struggle. Is this (whatever it means) something new in the world of divorce?

The couple decided to divorce after a long period of “loving exploration” and trial separation, and expect to continue as partners in joint ventures and projects, according to the statement.

 

[ivinsfan]

It's funny we can be 'utility' and mules as 'protectors/providers' and that's perfectly acceptable but dare not say the same about women or you'll be castrated in public.

I'm glad to hear the libido decreases over time because if it wasn't for that I'd have just gotten a dog a long time ago. Although my current gf is super sweet and great...I know it's only a matter of time when she'll turn.

If I only knew your GF so I could share this little tidbit, or perhaps you tell her this often?

 

[dvalley]

Whilst you did not directly call anyone here a name, I think your comment seems to cross a line of being respectful in general.

One does not have to respect another person's views. Please let me suggest sticking to the use of damning and true statistics, as they seem to make points effectively.

Thanks,
Mike D.

Sure thing, I changed it to feminist I hope that's not 'crossing a line'

 

[dvalley]

If I only knew your GF so I could share this little tidbit, or perhaps you tell her this often?

Haha you'd love to I know but rest assured we talked about this for months before I agreed to be in a relationship with her. Sorry to say but she's pretty disgusted by the whole feminist society herself. She says all she wants is an alpha man so she can be her feminine self, yet all she could find previously were man-childs who were afraid to speak their minds, afraid to lead in bed and in life. She said she could not respect a man of that kind. Nothing attracts masculine men like feminine women. Still, I'm no longer delusional to think that her hypergamy won't kick in a few years from now when the new pool boy shows up in her life but hey...it's all good. If that happens there's always a 20yr younger woman just around the corner for me

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

JMHO but I'd quit engaging with this poster and stop explaining things he has no right to know. because nothing is going to change his opinion.

I've listed a lot of facts. Facts you can look up yourself. Everyone has opinions.
Accurate statistics are just that. Accurate.

Here's one more for you. What percent of spousal support is collected by women? How does 97% sound? That leaves 3% of spousal support being male recipients.

Nothing wrong there, is it?

The only way to not be part of the 97% is to not get married.

 

[MikeD]

It's funny we can be 'utility' and mules

When I was younger and in our first married decade my father, in genuine and earnest complimentary fashion, told my young, slim, and very physically fit wife that she was a real workhorse. She, in her typical fashion, discussed the comment with me later.

I, in my typical male fashion, had not noticed it as anything other than a compliment. She 'splained her reaction to me.

My Dad was a very unhappy man. My Mom had suffered from mal-nutrition as a tween until age 19 at the hands of a widowed drunken spendthrift father. She had arthritis in her spine as a result of years of not enough calcium and could not lift logs like my young wife could.

My father taught me how not to act. My mother helped me with the ways to react to others.

I simply viewed my wife as a person who was open to new things and who would work on things that she was clearly not interested in because "We were in it together."

I, and now my wife, believe it was a poorly thought-out heart-felt compliment.

I have learned a very lot from my wife. As I was thought to initially not have a long life, we did mostly what was of interest to me when we went on vacations, etc. Now that I am living much longer than expected, we are concentrating solely on what she wants.

I love my wife more than ever. So much I fear that I cannot express it adequately.

Mike D.

 

[ivinsfan]

I've listed a lot of facts. Facts you can look up yourself. Everyone has opinions.
Accurate statistics are just that. Accurate.

Here's one more for you. What percent of spousal support is collected by women? How does 97% sound? That leaves 3% of spousal support being male recipients.

Nothing wrong there, is it?

The only way to not be part of the 97% is to not get married.

That's OK Mr Tightward..I'm certain that your money will cry over your grave.....and I agree you should not be married.

 

[dvalley]

I've listed a lot of facts. Facts you can look up yourself. Everyone has opinions.
Accurate statistics are just that. Accurate.

Here's one more for you. What percent of spousal support is collected by women? How does 97% sound? That leaves 3% of spousal support being male recipients.

Nothing wrong there, is it?

The only way to not be part of the 97% is to not get married.

I really enjoy these types of discussions because when we lift the Matrix society's veil people are shocked. Unfortunately we are seen as those who are crossing the line or being disrespectful when all we're doing is simply stating facts that are taboo to talk about. It's ok though because I think most people eventually do see things for what they are even if in the beginning they didn't agree.

 

[purplesky]

Hmm....MacKenzie is only a couple years older than me. I wonder how long before she’s on match?

I’d even pass on the prenup!

But more seriously, it looks like Bezos may not be the world’s richest person soon.

Bezos should probably wait and buy Target after the divorce is final.

Word on the street is that Mrs. Bezos met her young french lover while taking a tour of a new Amazon sorting facility just outside of Paris.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

I've been married to a nice person for over 42 years and we have no children. That's why we're wealthy.

This is great news. If you found happiness, thats excellent.

We all know some MikeD's in real life. It does happen.

Now we also know some that have gone the other way. Go back and read this thread over again. Read how divorce, family court, false accusations, and alimony have affected men. Go back to the poster that had 50/50 custody and yet STILL had to pay his ex. The ladies got real quiet on his situation.

There are droves of men refusing to marry, because they have decided that its too unlikely they will turn out to be the next MikeD and more likely will become MMM, Bezos, or one of the alimony paying men on this thread.

 

[dvalley]

I love my wife more than ever. So much I fear that I cannot express it adequately.

Mike D.

I'm really happy for you that you found a good honest partner in life...I love that and am always happy to hear these types of happy ending stories. My parents are in their 80s now and they too feel the same way about each other, they're inseparable. However, there was the occasional broken china ware early on in their marital lives when I was about 5 or 6yo. Things improved overtime to a very strong bond in their 50s+

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

That's OK Mr Tightward..I'm certain that your money will cry over your grave.....and I agree you should not be married.

Glad we agree. I appreciate it.

My daughters might cry at my grave. They might not. I know my money won't.

 

[Olbidness]

I'll be interested in how MMM deals with his new found freedom. Will it be marriage 2.0?

People respond in different ways to divorce. My own DF RIP was a fly. When a fly is on the outside he stays on the screen hoping to get in. When on the inside he's on the the screen hoping to get out.

 

[Music Lover]

I really enjoy these types of discussions because when we lift the Matrix society's veil people are shocked. Unfortunately we are seen as those who are crossing the line or being disrespectful when all we're doing is simply stating facts that are taboo to talk about. It's ok though because I think most people eventually do see things for what they are even if in the beginning they didn't agree.

A good example is the gender pay gap myth. It's been thoroughly debunked several times...virtually all the difference has been attributed to career choice and amount of hours worked. In spite of this, the myth continues to live on...mostly due to dishonest reporting and comments from high profile people.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

I'll be interested in how MMM deals with his new found freedom. Will it be marriage 2.0?

People respond in different ways to divorce. My own DF RIP was a fly. When a fly is on the outside he stays on the screen hoping to get in. When on the inside he's on the the screen hoping to get out.

His fortune will be cut in half soon, or already is if it is all settled. Will he risk having his wealth cut in half yet again? Some people don't learn, and need more experience with family court.

I sincerely hope he limits his romantic activities to girlfriends only.

 

[Olbidness]

I'm glad to hear the libido decreases over time because if it wasn't for that I'd have just gotten a dog a long time ago. Although my current gf is super sweet and great...I know it's only a matter of time when she'll turn.

Everything works better with the upper control room in charge. That guy in the basement is a hassle.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

A good example is the gender pay gap myth. It's been thoroughly debunked several times...virtually all the difference has been attributed to career choice and amount of hours worked. In spite of this, the myth continues to live on...mostly due to dishonest reporting and comments from high profile people.

100% correct.

Gender studies, child development and the lot are low paying.

I have a degree in Psychology. 80% of psych majors are female. I think it was Dave Ramsey why said a psych degree was useless. I agree it USUALLY turns out that way. My neighbor makes 300K as a psychologist, so it worked for him.
And I retired at 45 so I am glad.

But for the vast majority, useless degrees report to their shift at Starbucks.

 

[MikeD]

I am enjoying this thread and have not expressed an opinion on the thread's current topic due to my not seeing any point in doing so.

I think it's interesting that 97% of the alimony is paid by one sex. I wonder how they calculated that. Is it of the total amount or the percent of cases?

I counseled being respectful because I don't want the thread to be closed and would like to read more of the interesting facts about divorces and first-hand stories.

I am quite experienced in getting to know people with opinions that are different from mine. My best friend literally thinks "all women are stupid." He "hates them because they all think with their emotions." "Almost all of the country's problems stem from letting them vote." He has a PhD and thinks women's beauty is based solely on the size of their breasts. He mentioned that since his wife had become morbidly obese he almost lost interest in her "as a person" except for "because her t*ts got bigger so it was great."

I swear that is true. He has had some very bad luck with women over the four decades that I have known him. In my opinion it's because of his choices and emotional, hate-based thinking. He has three daughters and no sons.

We had a really good time in college where we met. I was already married when we were going to school and being young and immature. He was interested in girls and finding someone and I was firmly and completely married so we had different interests even then. But I learned to tune out the sexist and hate-filled comments starting back then.

One more example: One NYE night at our house, some twenty years later, we were drinking some champagne, well he and my wife were, I don't drink for medical and lack-of-interest reasons, and we were joking around in a sexist sort of humor way (None of it was directed at my wife.) and my wife, who has a fantastic sense of humor, laughed at a particularly raunchy joke and he stated "Geez, Mike, your wife is such a slut. [Pause] You are so lucky!" We all took it as a nice compliment as we had stated on a previous occasion that he and I liked 'sluts' because they had the same interests as us! (For the record: I have had only one each of the following: GFs and Wifes.) I am not a man-o-the-world. I have had many friends who have regaled me with vivid descriptions of their many experiences. My wife and I have been talking occasionally about his slut comment for many years and have come to the conclusion that he was extremely envious of us and me especially because I had found a 'good' woman. ie, one that who was nice and smart and who didn't hate the opposite sex. One of my wife's many great attributes is that she is kind of a regular-guy type of person due to her parents raising her in a equality-between-the-sexes household. So, the point of this story is that, when not having a hate-influenced thought, he realizes that there are women who are whole people who do not hate males. I think it was an eye-opener for him.

Lets hear some more stories and facts!

Mike D.

 

[Olbidness]

That's OK Mr Tightward..I'm certain that your money will cry over your grave.....and I agree you should not be married.

The ole you'll die alone trick. Heard it before from my Ex, zero effect.

 

[MikeD]

Sure thing, I changed it to feminist I hope that's not 'crossing a line'

Really, I was not using innuendo to belittle and I was not trying to make a point of calling you a name. Pretty much, the reason I posted was: I don't want the thread closed as I am enjoying it.

Also, an artful dressing down is much more fun for everyone involved. And I know, having recvd many in my life, especially as a young teen from the likes of my world-weary 'aged' teachers. I was, to put it mildly, an under-achiever, who had little if any discipline from either within or without

Mike D. -- who wishes to not make enemies

 

[samclem]

Mod note: Obviously there are some tough-to-discuss "core issues" being hashed over here. If we can keep the personal sniping out of it (paraphrase: "what people like you fail to see . . .," "you clearly are unhappy due to . . ."), and also keep the interaction polite and the unwarranted generalities in check, the thread will be more useful. More light, less heat. Thanks.

 

[Another Reader]

The misogyny displayed on this thread is pretty thick. Perhaps the posters that have strong negative feelings about women should look to vent those feelings elsewhere. It's inappropriate for a forum on early retirement and it's becoming distracting to the point of being offensive.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

I am enjoying this thread and have not expressed an opinion on the thread's current topic due to my not seeing any point in doing so.

I think it's interesting that 97% of the alimony is paid by one sex. I wonder how they calculated that. Is it of the total amount or the percent of cases?

I counseled being respectful because I don't want the thread to be closed and would like to read more of the interesting facts about divorces and first-hand stories.

I am quite experienced in getting to know people with opinions that are different from mine. My best friend literally thinks "all women are stupid." He "hates them because they all think with their emotions." "Almost all of the country's problems stem from letting them vote." He has a PhD and thinks women's beauty is based solely on the size of their breasts. He mentioned that since his wife had become morbidly obese he almost lost interest in her "as a person" except for "because her t*ts got bigger so it was great."

I swear that is true. He has had some very bad luck with women over the four decades that I have known him. In my opinion it's because of his choices and emotional, hate-based thinking. He has three daughters and no sons.

We had a really good time in college where we met. I was already married when we were going to school and being young and immature. He was interested in girls and finding someone and I was firmly and completely married so we had different interests even then. But I learned to tune out the sexist and hate-filled comments starting back then.

One more example: One NYE night at our house, some twenty years later, we were drinking some champagne, well he and my wife were, I don't drink for medical and lack-of-interest reasons, and we were joking around in a sexist sort of humor way (None of it was directed at my wife.) and my wife, who has a fantastic sense of humor, laughed at a particularly raunchy joke and he stated "Geez, Mike, your wife is such a slut. [Pause] You are so lucky!" We all took it as a nice compliment as we had stated on a previous occasion that he and I liked 'sluts' because they had the same interests as us! (For the record: I have had only one each of the following: GFs and Wifes.) I am not a man-o-the-world. I have had many friends who have regaled me with vivid descriptions of their many experiences. My wife and I have been talking occasionally about his slut comment for many years and have come to the conclusion that he was extremely envious of us and me especially because I had found a 'good' woman. ie, one that who was nice and smart and who didn't hate the opposite sex. One of my wife's many great attributes is that she is kind of a regular-guy type of person due to her parents raising her in a equality-between-the-sexes household. So, the point of this story is that, when not having a hate-influenced thought, he realizes that there are women who are whole people who do not hate males. I think it was an eye-opener for him.

Lets hear some more stories and facts!

Mike D.

1) its on a percent of cases, meaning for every male that receives alimony, there are 33 females getting paid.

2) I don't think all women are stupid. I know you didn't say I did, I am just stating my belief.

3)Women do think with their emotions. Post #175 demonstrated that.

4) Your friend appears uncouth. Not sure how that matters.

5) You seem like a genuinely nice man. I'm glad you're not divorced.

6) I encourage all readers to google the man in England, who found out that the 3 children he raised, didn't belong to him. He was infertile at birth. He found out when the oldest was 21. Dr's showed him how he was medically unable to conceive. His wife, who received 4 million pounds in the divorce (is that 5 million dollars?) admitted the kids did not belong to him. This woman is an example of an apple that ruins the barrel.

 

[Olbidness]

The misogyny displayed on this thread is pretty thick.

Hurt feelings doesn't equal misogyny. I can take a lick and I can dish 'em out too. It's an interesting thread as long as everyone plays clean.

 

[truenorth418]

I have been patiently reading the back and forth on this thread for a few days. I notice that many of those defending marriage here are actually defending aspects of any generic happy relationship - marriage or not - the closeness, the intimacy, cooking etc. “I love my wife more than ever”. That’s very sweet, and I respect that.

But none of it has anything to do with getting married.

I’m sure we all know some couples who have never married but love each other deeply. We probably know a lot more couples who have been married to each other for years - and can’t stand each other!

But ...100% of all divorced couples were married. They all went through the same processes, took the same vows, signed the same papers. Virtually none of them expected to get divorced. And yet they did anyway. And it will happen to 40% or more of marriages!

Talk to any divorced person and it is clear that at its core - after all the romantic trappings are stripped away- marriage is really a legal contract, with certain financial, tax, and legal implications. Some of the implications are good, some bad, all depending on the specific circumstances.

As Mr Tightwad and dvalley have shown, with facts and statistics, is that these implications can carry a lot of risks, especially for men, who are forced to pay the vast majority of alimony despite initiating the minority of divorces. Sure maybe he can mitigate the risks somewhat with a prenup - although these can be and are regularly challenged. Or maybe the divorce will be one of the less than 5% where the ex wife pays more. But these are rare circumstances.

The only way to avoid this sort of catastrophe in the first place is to avoid marriage completely. Which is what more and more men are deciding to do apparently.

Given how common and potentially devastating divorce is, why is it still so taboo to discuss it?