Should we help my deadbeat father out of foreclosure trouble?

[Ally]

I'm just wondering-does he have any other plan, other than getting help from his children?

 

[ShortInSeattle]

Another angle - offer him your unstinting support, in all ways but financial. Listen to him, invite him to dinner, be loving. That's the duty of a child, not being his hedge against taking responsibility.

You can be a caring person without being a chump. Dollars and heart don't have to go together.

SIS

 

[FinanceDude]

Reverse mortage?

 

[njhowie]

Another angle - offer him your unstinting support, in all ways but financial. Listen to him, invite him to dinner, be loving. That's the duty of a child, not being his hedge against taking responsibility.

You can be a caring person without being a chump. Dollars and heart don't have to go together.

SIS

And what's the duty of a father? What has dad been doing all these years? Was he being a father? No. Was he providing support? No.

Maybe father should have been a caring person if wanting others to reciprocate?

 

[lemming]

Has anyone suggested a reverse mortgage? If he could get the mortgage debt off his back even if he gets no monthly income from it, that might be enough to keep him out of your wallet for a few more years.

 

[FinanceDude]

This is a sad story, but I hear stuff like this more and more. One of my elderly client's daughter lost her house to foreclosure. Basically, she and her husband lived for the moment and had every toy under the sun. They lost the house, and the daughter floated the idea to her mother that she should buy her a house. Her mom told her she needs to pay the price of her financial mistakes, and since she was 43 years old she should have known better..........

 

[Finance Dave]

I feel for you this is a difficult decision. Advising is "help", and that's about as far as I would go. Give him the choices and let him choose. Let him cry on your shoulder for a day or two, then let him be a man and deal with it in his own way.

You know the old saying..."Teach a man to fish ........."

 

[rescueme]

...let him be a man...

I doubt he ever was, or ever could be (been there - done that)...

 

[ShortInSeattle]

And what's the duty of a father? What has dad been doing all these years? Was he being a father? No. Was he providing support? No.

Maybe father should have been a caring person if wanting others to reciprocate?

Certainly those of us with deadbeat parents have to make the choice of how to respond. I wouldn't blame anyone for making a choice to walk away entirely if that is right for them, only saying that when it comes to biological duty (as the OP mentioned) there are non-financial ways of being supportive.



SIS