Those who plan to ER in their 30's/40's...are you unfulfilled by your career?

I just hate having any type of obligation or restriction put upon my life. (Also have no house, pets, kids or even plants). As soon as I can afford to retire I will do so, or at least drop to half time. I've been planning on early retirement since the first months of my working career started after college. Sure, I like aspects of my job and I'm well paid. But I only need so much money. I value time and freedom more than anything else.
 
Yet I find myself still fretting about leaving my job... I am starting to think it may stem from a fear of dissapointing people I care about rather than a fear of not having enough money. Whatever the case, it is a problem for me right now.

I was in a similar 'easily more than enough money but still fear running out of money" irrational mindset, but finally settled the matter by thinking in terms of what I would think on my deathbed.

On the 'keep on working' side, I see myself amassing a fortune while keeping slogging away at work hamster wheel that I mostly despise, finally retiring when I am no longer able to function and finding my body is not up to living out my full bucket list, thus dying rich and somewhat unfulfilled.

On the 'ER' front, I see me being freed from the shackles of my current employ, taking a few chances trying new things and likely finding a whole new meaning of life with one of them. I'll tick off my bucket list, albeit slowly because of much lower income to achieve it, and probably add a few items to the list as I go. In the unlikely event that things go topsy turvy on the finance side of things, I'll use the same skills that got me to FIRE in the first place to put me back on my feet and then back to the front of the pack. I reckon I will die with a big smile on my face.

I now choose the latter.
 
To OP, I'm 38 and FI ( 2 young kids and a beautiful DW to boot) based on my "needs". I'm a solo-specialist working 28 hrs over a 4 day work week. The job is fulfilling, has autonomy, and pays the big bucks yet there will always be BS when you are doing something for money. I'm a business owner and although I have no real "boss", I still have people to answer to ie demanding patients and doc referrals. Take money out of the equation and I highly doubt I would be working today.

My previously "career oriented" DW who just turned 37, who through many years of education and hard work earned her MBA/CFA is retiring in two weeks from a 3 day/week fulfilling and intellectually stimulating job and team that she likes working with. The reason? She is retiring to become a SAHM as the early years with the kids are irreplaceable. We hope this was not a bad decision. If it turns out to be a mistake, she has 1 year to return from her "leave of absence" without hindering her career too much.

3 reasons I am still working:

1) "wants" - I want to be able to provide the best possible academic education for my 3 and 5 year old and also to participate in rep sports teams. This includes the possibility of private elementary schools and international ivy leagues (we are Canadian). Again, this is a want rather than a need and is an area of yearly re-evaluation for us.

I do not want a boat, small plane or a 2nd/3rd wife like many of my "mentors" who are still working today at 65.

2) career achievement - I can't help but feel that if I RE'd today, that I would not have paid my "career dues". I would like to think that working until my early to mid-40's will give me that sense of fulfillment and it will still be considered very early RE.

3)the love of money - yes, I am a sinner and making money is a hobby in and of itself. Fortunately, as I approach my 40's, I am beginning to realize more and more that the value of time is gaining relative to actively earned money. Ideally, by my early/mid-40's, through a combination of large investable assets/LBYM strategy, I will be in a passive and permanent build-up mode and will not have to choose one versus the other.
 
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"Those who plan to ER in their 30's/40's...are you unfulfilled by your career?"A career and retiring in your 30s or 40s? That ain't no career! Heck...You just got comfortable finding your way into work! You need to suffer at least 30 years at something to have a career! I would rename this thread to something like, "I just started my job and want to retire since I don't care to work anymore"...

This reminds me of an old joke.

What's the difference between a masochist and a sadist?

The masochist says: "Hurt me."
The sadist says: <with an evil grin> "Noooooooooooo."
 
My previously "career oriented" DW who just turned 37, who through many years of education and hard work earned her MBA/CFA is retiring in two weeks from a 3 day/week fulfilling and intellectually stimulating job and team that she likes working with. The reason? She is retiring to become a SAHM as the early years with the kids are irreplaceable. We hope this was not a bad decision. If it turns out to be a mistake, she has 1 year to return from her "leave of absence" without hindering her career too much.

My wife and I made the choice for her to do the SAHM thing with our two boys and we think it is one of the best decisions we have ever made, despite the loss of a second income for that time period. Our boys have grown up to be fantastic men and we think a lot of that has come from spending so much time shaping the early part of their lives.

Additionally, my wife has only ever been engaged in casual employment ever since, now just over 20 years, yet we are the only couple I know that has hit FI at such an early age. This is despite pretty much everyone else we know having done the dual income, kids away in child care in the early years, norm. There is a lot to be said for LBYM, regardless of how your income compares to the Joneses.
 
Without my employment income, my wife and I will still be able to save at minimum $4000 every month - my wife wants to work for another 10 years or so. Our net worth is closer to 2 million than 1 million. We have no debts, kids, and in all likelihood I am going to inherit a seven figure sum in the future.

Yet I find myself still fretting about leaving my job... I am starting to think it may stem from a fear of dissapointing people I care about rather than a fear of not having enough money. Whatever the case, it is a problem for me right now.

To your first point: I stopped working at age 36, shortly after we reached FI. The fact that my wife wanted to work for a while longer made my decision to remain out of the workforce that much easier. Three years later, I have no regrets. Personally, I do not spend much time worrying about the possibility of running out of money because I have so many backups built into my plan. I think that financial failure would require the kind of catastrophic event that would make us all scurry for a job.

As for disappointing people with your decision to quit your job, it's a valid concern. I struggled with it too at the beginning. Some people felt like I didn't live up to my full professional potential. It's hard to argue to the contrary. Others disapproved of my decision because it did not jibe with their values. Values are personal and I can't live my life based on other people's values. So those people will have to live with their disappointment. But I will say that this too gets better with time.
 
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As for disappointing people with your decision to quit your job, it's a valid concern. I struggled with it too at the beginning. Some people felt like I didn't live up to my full professional potential. It's hard to argue to the contrary. Others disapproved of my decision because it did not jibe with their values. Values are personal and I can't live my life based on other people's values. So those people will have to live with their disappointment. But I will say that this too gets better with time.

I'm sorry, but other people can suck it. They do not have to live your life, so they can STFU about how you do so. Extend them the same courtesy and call it good.
 
I'm sorry, but other people can suck it. They do not have to live your life, so they can STFU about how you do so. Extend them the same courtesy and call it good.

The right attitude, no doubt. Hopefully we can live by your words when you walk off the job next year!:D
 
“I'm the one that's gotta die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.”


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I don't understand the concept of people being disappointed because you are capable of retiring early based on your success to date in your career. I can understand people being surprised, since it's clearly more the exception than the norm, but what possible reason could there be for people to be disappointed that you are successful enough in your career to not need to work any more?

It sounds like it may be jealousy more than disappointment to me.

My family was certainly surprised when I told them. But clearly not disappointed.
 
I don't understand the concept of people being disappointed because you are capable of retiring early based on your success to date in your career. I can understand people being surprised, since it's clearly more the exception than the norm, but what possible reason could there be for people to be disappointed that you are successful enough in your career to not need to work any more?

It sounds like it may be jealousy more than disappointment to me.

My family was certainly surprised when I told them. But clearly not disappointed.

I was a little worried what my dad would think, since he has always been very success oriented and that rubbed off on my brother and I as well. However, my parents were not too wild about it when I relocated a couple years ago and then got used to the idea. No doubt the same will happen when I bail. In any case, Have no doubt that anyone important to me will come to understand that it is better for me to break the Protestant work ethic and be happy rather than soldier on and be miserable.
 
I was a little worried what my dad would think, since he has always been very success oriented and that rubbed off on my brother and I as well. However, my parents were not too wild about it when I relocated a couple years ago and then got used to the idea. No doubt the same will happen when I bail. In any case, Have no doubt that anyone important to me will come to understand that it is better for me to break the Protestant work ethic and be happy rather than soldier on and be miserable.

Interesting observation. Most of the people who were astounded when I ERd and remarked "what a waste!" we're of the Protestant persuasion. I was raised a Catholic. We are much more lazy. :D Definitely makes it easier to ER!
 
I don't understand the concept of people being disappointed because you are capable of retiring early based on your success to date in your career. I can understand people being surprised, since it's clearly more the exception than the norm, but what possible reason could there be for people to be disappointed that you are successful enough in your career to not need to work any more?

People could be disappointed by your lack of work ethics, sinful idleness, waste of God-given talents, lack of contribution to society at large, etc... The younger you are, the more likely people are to see you as unemployed rather than retired. They might see as a drain on society.
 
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I'm feeling a religious theme here to all of this. Does religion suggest that one has to work to be worthy?

I've never been a fan of religion, so I don't pay much attention to any of it.
 
I'm feeling a religious theme here to all of this. Does religion suggest that one has to work to be worthy?

I've never been a fan of religion, so I don't pay much attention to any of it.

In that you're supposed to tithe 10% to the church, maybe. If 10% of your annual "earnings" is zero because you no longer work, I suppose the church would be upset!
 
In that you're supposed to tithe 10% to the church, maybe. If 10% of your annual "earnings" is zero because you no longer work, I suppose the church would be upset!

Maybe that's it. My devoted Catholic MIL all but accused me of being a drain on society if I retired (regardless of the fact I am completely self-sufficient financially). She also queried whether donating was part of my ER philosophy, to which I replied that not only was I willing to continue to donate as much as I currently do to charity but that I would also donate my time and effort to charitable activities from now on. She didn't have anything to say after that. :D
 
"Disappointment, as uncomfortable and even painful as it can be for me and many of us, is essential and important on our journey of growth, self discovery, authenticity, and fulfillment. Making peace with disappointing others allows us to release our erroneous demands for perfection. Letting go of our fear of being disappointed by other people gives us the ability to take more risks and ask for what we truly want."

See more at: It
 
"Disappointment, as uncomfortable and even painful as it can be for me and many of us, is essential and important on our journey of growth, self discovery, authenticity, and fulfillment. Making peace with disappointing others allows us to release our erroneous demands for perfection. Letting go of our fear of being disappointed by other people gives us the ability to take more risks and ask for what we truly want."

See more at: It

Thanks for the link. I watched his Ted talk and was amazed at the story he tells about the business meeting. I found myself thinking about what I'd say in a situation like that. I went ahead and ordered his book. Even though I've probably heard it before, I like to hear this sort of message over and over again. I think I need to hear it over and over again ...
 
I'm feeling a religious theme here to all of this. Does religion suggest that one has to work to be worthy?

Well, the Bible starts with a story about how we were living in a paradise where we didn't have to work, and then there was this snake and a naked chick, some questionable decisions get made, and before you know it, we were tossed out and doomed to "toil" all the days of our life. So basically, we have to work because we screwed up.

That is my rather loose interpretation, btw, which I'm only about half serious about. As with most things biblical, there are many ways to look at it.
 
I'm feeling a religious theme here to all of this. Does religion suggest that one has to work to be worthy?

I've never been a fan of religion, so I don't pay much attention to any of it.

As an atheist, I don't pay any attention to it, either.
 
Does religion suggest that one has to work to be worthy?
Buddhists do not think that it is not necessary for one to be engaged in the work force of agriculture or business in order to be considered productive.
 
Interesting observation. Most of the people who were astounded when I ERd and remarked "what a waste!" we're of the Protestant persuasion. I was raised a Catholic. We are much more lazy. :D Definitely makes it easier to ER!

I am Catholic as well, but it is pretty clear that there is a strong strain of Protestantism/Puritanism in 'Merkin cuture that colors the views of everyone regardless of religion. There is a reason Merkins work the longest hours and have the least vacation in the civilized world.
 
Interesting observation. Most of the people who were astounded when I ERd and remarked "what a waste!" we're of the Protestant persuasion. I was raised a Catholic. We are much more lazy. :D Definitely makes it easier to ER!

But we Catholics do feel guilty about being lazy :)
 
Well, the Bible starts with a story about how we were living in a paradise where we didn't have to work, and then there was this snake and a naked chick, some questionable decisions get made, and before you know it, we were tossed out and doomed to "toil" all the days of our life. So basically, we have to work because we screwed up.

That is my rather loose interpretation, btw, which I'm only about half serious about. As with most things biblical, there are many ways to look at it.

All I know is...I'm not going to work until I drop just because some guy got tricked into eating an apple. :)
 
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