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Old 06-30-2014, 09:29 AM   #61
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Nobody, including family, knows how well we're doing. My sister may be able to discern that we are (she knows roughly what I've made my whole life, and that we LBOM), but nobody knows actual numbers.

I'm envisioning lots of shocked faces when I hang it up in a couple years (at 50).
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Old 06-30-2014, 11:47 AM   #62
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I couldn't agree more.


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Originally Posted by dallas27 View Post
I think the taboo of talking about money is the principal reason so many people have so little.

I can think of almost nothing that neighbors, friends, and family wont discuss or help each other with. Even bettering one's sex life or proctologist referrals are game. But money, no, that's taboo.

No wonder so many are so stupid with it.

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Old 06-30-2014, 12:48 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by gerntz View Post
At some point by the time I turn 70 my inheriting son needs to know.
Well I am 71 but I have not told either son. I have advised them that they will be joint executors, and 50% will go to various charities.

No one else except DW knows. I still have one good financial advisor who manages 20% of our portfolio and he is given a general idea that we have at least as much extra as he is managing that we manage ourselves.

But parents, brother and friends are all off-limits. Some were surprised when we chose to rent 16 years ago, and we explained that it was consistent with our investment strategy at the time.

(I had one neighbour who always tried to hit my up for a loan (gift), and I always told him that such action would strain our relationship, and I valued his friendship too much to do it.)
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Old 06-30-2014, 01:09 PM   #64
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Well I am 71 but I have not told either son. I have advised them that they will be joint executors, and 50% will go to various charities.

No one else except DW knows. I still have one good financial advisor who manages 20% of our portfolio and he is given a general idea that we have at least as much extra as he is managing that we manage ourselves.

But parents, brother and friends are all off-limits. Some were surprised when we chose to rent 16 years ago, and we explained that it was consistent with our investment strategy at the time.

(I had one neighbour who always tried to hit my up for a loan (gift), and I always told him that such action would strain our relationship, and I valued his friendship too much to do it.)

Your post reminded me of my dad. Three or four years ago (he is 77) he mentioned something about food and gas being too high to afford. It hit me I never even knew what he had as we had never discussed it. I never really even thought to ever ask. He spit out the number (around a million,as he likes to keep track of it). He would have never said if I didn't ask, yet I never really thought to ask. It's funny how people with everything paid off and don't even spend their SS and pension money with a million in the bank can say they can't afford anything because prices are too high.


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Old 06-30-2014, 01:16 PM   #65
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It's funny how people with everything paid off and don't even spend their SS and pension money with a million in the bank can say they can't afford anything because prices are too high.
I think this reflects mental accounting. He has saved up the million dollars and "put it away for a rainy day". It's hard for people to admit that it's raining.
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Old 06-30-2014, 01:25 PM   #66
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It's funny how people with everything paid off and don't even spend their SS and pension money with a million in the bank can say they can't afford anything because prices are too high.
Well they are, dammit!
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Old 06-30-2014, 02:00 PM   #67
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Sometimes I think my family thinks I'm broke. They live fairly expensive lifestyles. Definitely try harder than I to keep up with the Joneses. Higher incomes, too. I have no doubt they are also saving at a decent clip. They'll ocassionally invite me on a trip or some such, and I inevitably demure. "Sounds fun, but its not in the budget."

Meanwhile, my house was paid for by the time I hit forty. I am debt free and have a mid six figure amount invested. My side of the family isn't rich, but doing fine on a very average worker bee salary. They are the only people that MIGHT have a clue about my financial state.
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Old 06-30-2014, 02:12 PM   #68
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No one, all family members on both sides with the exception of one BIL (he is retired and LYBM and doesn't need more he said) are victims; makes for tough planning for wills with no kids to inherit our stuff.
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Old 06-30-2014, 02:20 PM   #69
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........... makes for tough planning for wills with no kids to inherit our stuff.
Don't forget your friends on this forum, Uncle DFA, ole pal.
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Old 06-30-2014, 02:49 PM   #70
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No one, all family members on both sides with the exception of one BIL (he is retired and LYBM and doesn't need more he said) are victims; makes for tough planning for wills with no kids to inherit our stuff.
Do your's treat you like a piece of dirt?
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Old 06-30-2014, 03:07 PM   #71
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My mom, SO and one friend who is budget conscious and has a similar networth. I actually want to tell one friend so she can share hers with me (She is my age, and has been unemployed over a year, but is not worried, thinking of moving to a rural area where her siblings live, but is in no hurry). I want to see how hers stack up against mine (expenses and savings) but she is not the type to reveal that kind of information, I don't think.

I have a couple of friends who proudly announced to me how much they got saved and it was quite shocking (it was very small... I of course congratulated them because anything above $0 is a good thing.) so there is no way I would share my information with them - the kicker is, they live like I do - probably spend similar amount of money that I do - they live slightly above their means and I live way below my means.
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Old 06-30-2014, 03:17 PM   #72
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Do your's treat you like a piece of dirt?
No, but they are always looking for money and they live on debt. I have had the requests for loans (did that a couple of times and no repayments) and now I just tell them no. Seem pretty bad, but they made and continue to make decisions in life that put them in the situation they are in.
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Old 06-30-2014, 03:52 PM   #73
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Like most here, I do my own financial stuff and taxes. However, I know not everyone does.

My advice: never hire a friend or family member for these services. No taxes, no banking, no stockbroking, no financial advice, and even no real estate. Go outside your sphere of friends and family for this.

I've seen some ugly situations when the services are kept in the family.
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Old 06-30-2014, 04:19 PM   #74
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When I sold my company, it was very public, my name was in the papers, etc, so everyone has a pretty good idea I don't have to work again.

When I meet new people I rarely disclose that I am retired until I've evaluated the person a bit. I start off with, I'm an "advisor" and then give more details later, if I feel like doing so.
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Old 07-01-2014, 03:01 AM   #75
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I am the CFO in our relationship and DH gets to know the actual data (total of our assets) once a month. He is happy and does not want more details, but he knows where to look for them.
We roughly share our status with my mom, as we have to convince her to spend more money on herself, even more so now that she has lost a lot of her vision and will relocate to assisted living soon.
I do the money management for her, too.
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Old 07-01-2014, 04:28 AM   #76
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Who would you let know about your financial situation?

I don't disclose except in the relative anonymity of this site.

Reasons -

While I might have some financial success in life, not all aspects have been wonderful achievements and siblings have certainly done much better in other areas.

Parents have set up a trust fund and I wouldn't like being passed over because 'you have enough already'.

No sense to do so in professional relationships as face it, there is a limited pool of available funds and what you get means someone else doesn't receive as much.

No sense to do so in private relationships as the gap in resources is large and it would cause problems.

DW isn't interested.







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Old 07-01-2014, 07:19 AM   #77
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I see nothing to be gained by discussing these details with anyone other than DW.
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Old 07-01-2014, 08:28 AM   #78
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No disclosure to anyone, but BIL knows we're comfortably fixed.

Over the years, DW has given in to his pleas for loans many times, and we never really thought we would see any of that money again. We always did it with a notarized note and stated interest costs.

What we didn't know was that he was truly bothered by the situation. He eventually came into a substantial sum through a surprisingly good business transaction, and he asked how much he owed us in total.

A week later we got a check in the mail for full repayment of all loans going back ten years, and much to my amazement the check didn't bounce!

You never know ....
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Old 07-01-2014, 08:49 AM   #79
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No disclosure to anyone, but BIL knows we're comfortably fixed.



Over the years, DW has given in to his pleas for loans many times, and we never really thought we would see any of that money again. We always did it with a notarized note and stated interest costs.



What we didn't know was that he was truly bothered by the situation. He eventually came into a substantial sum through a surprisingly good business transaction, and he asked how much he owed us in total.



A week later we got a check in the mail for full repayment of all loans going back ten years, and much to my amazement the check didn't bounce!



You never know ....

Good ending to the story. I think people are wired differently. Not counting the free loaders, the rest "want" to pay back loans, it's just the monthly priority arrangement that interfere with the process. For me, paying my debts were the first thing out of the monthly budget as I hate to owe anyone anything. Others I assume must think backwards. "I will pay for my cell phone,cable, and monthly entertainment expenses, then I will pay the debt." Well you know how that usually works out.
Another gripe I have with some people is the all or nothing attitude they have. If they can't pay it all back, they pay nothing.


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Old 07-01-2014, 08:53 AM   #80
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I talk to my son on a regular basis on investing and financial matters. I want him to know where the stash is all hidden in the event of my unplanned departure! He is a LBYM kind of guy who encourages me to spend my money. He will probably be a millionaire by his early 30s. I have never mentioned to my folks an actual networth number but we help them out financially so I think they know we are doing good. I would never share any of my financial status with my sisters. They struggle to make ends meet but it is self inflicted. I do have a couple of close fishing and hunting buddies that while sitting around around the campfire and I have blurted out that I am in the millionaire club. I think that was more of the Shiner Bock talking than me! I sort of regret it.
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