Who would you let know about your financial situation?

[gerntz]

At some point by the time I turn 70 my inheriting son needs to know.

 

[ernow]

I don't see upside in telling anyone that doesn't need to know.


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[jim584672]

I haven't told anyone. It is funny that at w*rk (I'm still working, yuk!) a co-worker makes remarks that moths fly out of my wallet and he makes creecking sounds when I open it. I always keep large denom bills, like 100s or 50s, so when someone asks to break a 5, I make sure they see the 50s, and I say I can't break such small amounts. Kind of a ongoing laugh.

I think they might think I am loaded after I bought my Condo for cash and told a few people. Now I am leaking the retirement news and they have got to be wondering how a 49 yo can retire.

I can't believe it when I see them spending $7 on breakfast and $10+ on lunch. I am saying to myself, what a waste. They just don't get it. And they have to have the latest gadgets and new cars every three years.

The frugal guy will have the last laugh.

 

[clifp]

While I am sure the safest course is to keep ones mouth shut about money. I don't always do safe things.

My mom knows if for no other reason than to keep her from worrying about me and both sisters have a reasonable god idea, and I know there is a a bit of envy. Most of my closest friends know I'm worth "millions", I think I disappointed one of my friends when he found out that no I didn't have a 8 figure net worth not even 1/2..

The one benefit of being somewhat open about money is to tend to get question about money and retirement from friends and even those who aren't really close. I kinda of think we have a moral obligation to spread the wisdom of the board, LYBM, low investment expenses, diversification, 4% rule, and even the holy trinity of the ER board, Vanguard, Costco and PenFed .

Seriously, I'd much rather a person get money advice from virtually any forum regular than their local Amerprise adviser.

A couple of week I got a call from one of my closest friends new wife about retirement. They both had attended retirement seminar put on by their respective employers about pensions. She had questions for me about how do I know when I had enough. It was great opportunity to talk not only about the 4% rule, but also talk about when they should take SS. At almost 60 he is 5 years old and has had much higher income. But even more important was it gave me an opportunity to stress that income is not even 1/2 the equation for successful retirement, knowing your expense is even more important.

We talked about Mint and Quicken, and how important it is to enter retirement debt free (other than a mortgage). Now I don't honestly expect her to start using Mint this year. But she has a real spending problem, and if she can grasp that she can't really retire until she know how much she spends, may eventually motivate her to face realities.

The fact that I accumulated enough assets to retire early and many people know it, I think gives me credibility to speak with some authority.

 

[SumDay]

We have some friends who are debt free, and when we paid off our mortgage, we shared that with them, but neither couple knows specifics of the other couples net worth.

Other than this, no friends or family know bupkis about our finances. I fear the kids would have us knocked off if they knew what we are worth.

 

[Totoro]

Nobody except DW, nobody. Why does anyone else need to know? With due respect, if you want to tell someone else, it might be to satisfy your own ego?

Not really, I have a need to talk about life choices and being FI (or not) is a factor in that. Also comparing notes on how to manage investments. There is alot of bad information and discussing with smart people helps.

Mother / brother need to know in case I drop dead.

 

[travelover]

.........The one benefit of being somewhat open about money is to tend to get questions about money and retirement from friends and even those who aren't really close...........

I'm impressed. I've never had anyone heed my financial advice - at least no one that I wasn't married to.

 

[dallas27]

Also comparing notes on how to manage investments. There is alot of bad information and discussing with smart people .

+1

I mean the whole point of this site is to discuss this stuff because it's either tough for us to find others to discuss this stuff with or we are to scared to open up about it.


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[Midpack]

Not really, I have a need to talk about life choices and being FI (or not) is a factor in that. Also comparing notes on how to manage investments. There is alot of bad information and discussing with smart people helps.

Mother / brother need to know in case I drop dead.

+1

I mean the whole point of this site is to discuss this stuff because it's either tough for us to find others to discuss this stuff with or we are to scared to open up about it.


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Discussing here is anonymous for most, so you're really not divulging "to anyone." It's not comparable to telling a friend or family member.

Folks do indeed share $ amounts here, though the "answers" mostly come back to a % of spending (after secure income streams) relative to portfolio/assets, adjusted for age/years remaining. IOW, they can get the same quality answer without divulging $ amounts. $40K spending on a $1MM portfolio is essentially the same as $80K spending on a $2MM portfolio. I doubt many here vary their responses to any given member based on specific $ amounts.

People discuss life choices, FI, investment advice, and everything else here without sharing $ amounts FWIW.

Beneficiaries will know exactly what our assets were when the time comes, when we go poof...YMMV

 

[er33]

Its tough sometimes to not say a single word. Every single time I have opened my mouth to a real person (instead of on anonymous forums), I have almost always regretted it

 

[mrfeh]

Nobody, including family, knows how well we're doing. My sister may be able to discern that we are (she knows roughly what I've made my whole life, and that we LBOM), but nobody knows actual numbers.

I'm envisioning lots of shocked faces when I hang it up in a couple years (at 50).

 

[RBDan]

I couldn't agree more.

I think the taboo of talking about money is the principal reason so many people have so little.

I can think of almost nothing that neighbors, friends, and family wont discuss or help each other with. Even bettering one's sex life or proctologist referrals are game. But money, no, that's taboo.

No wonder so many are so stupid with it.

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[kcowan]

At some point by the time I turn 70 my inheriting son needs to know.

Well I am 71 but I have not told either son. I have advised them that they will be joint executors, and 50% will go to various charities.

No one else except DW knows. I still have one good financial advisor who manages 20% of our portfolio and he is given a general idea that we have at least as much extra as he is managing that we manage ourselves.

But parents, brother and friends are all off-limits. Some were surprised when we chose to rent 16 years ago, and we explained that it was consistent with our investment strategy at the time.

(I had one neighbour who always tried to hit my up for a loan (gift), and I always told him that such action would strain our relationship, and I valued his friendship too much to do it.)

 

[Mulligan]

Well I am 71 but I have not told either son. I have advised them that they will be joint executors, and 50% will go to various charities.

No one else except DW knows. I still have one good financial advisor who manages 20% of our portfolio and he is given a general idea that we have at least as much extra as he is managing that we manage ourselves.

But parents, brother and friends are all off-limits. Some were surprised when we chose to rent 16 years ago, and we explained that it was consistent with our investment strategy at the time.

(I had one neighbour who always tried to hit my up for a loan (gift), and I always told him that such action would strain our relationship, and I valued his friendship too much to do it.)

Your post reminded me of my dad. Three or four years ago (he is 77) he mentioned something about food and gas being too high to afford. It hit me I never even knew what he had as we had never discussed it. I never really even thought to ever ask. He spit out the number (around a million,as he likes to keep track of it). He would have never said if I didn't ask, yet I never really thought to ask. It's funny how people with everything paid off and don't even spend their SS and pension money with a million in the bank can say they can't afford anything because prices are too high.


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[Meadbh]

It's funny how people with everything paid off and don't even spend their SS and pension money with a million in the bank can say they can't afford anything because prices are too high.

I think this reflects mental accounting. He has saved up the million dollars and "put it away for a rainy day". It's hard for people to admit that it's raining.

 

[REWahoo]

It's funny how people with everything paid off and don't even spend their SS and pension money with a million in the bank can say they can't afford anything because prices are too high.

Well they are, dammit!

 

[Keim]

Sometimes I think my family thinks I'm broke. They live fairly expensive lifestyles. Definitely try harder than I to keep up with the Joneses. Higher incomes, too. I have no doubt they are also saving at a decent clip. They'll ocassionally invite me on a trip or some such, and I inevitably demure. "Sounds fun, but its not in the budget."

Meanwhile, my house was paid for by the time I hit forty. I am debt free and have a mid six figure amount invested. My side of the family isn't rich, but doing fine on a very average worker bee salary. They are the only people that MIGHT have a clue about my financial state.

 

[DFA]

No one, all family members on both sides with the exception of one BIL (he is retired and LYBM and doesn't need more he said) are victims; makes for tough planning for wills with no kids to inherit our stuff.

 

[travelover]

........... makes for tough planning for wills with no kids to inherit our stuff.

Don't forget your friends on this forum, Uncle DFA, ole pal.

 

[FANOFJESUS]

No one, all family members on both sides with the exception of one BIL (he is retired and LYBM and doesn't need more he said) are victims; makes for tough planning for wills with no kids to inherit our stuff.

Do your's treat you like a piece of dirt?

 

[tmm99]

My mom, SO and one friend who is budget conscious and has a similar networth. I actually want to tell one friend so she can share hers with me (She is my age, and has been unemployed over a year, but is not worried, thinking of moving to a rural area where her siblings live, but is in no hurry). I want to see how hers stack up against mine (expenses and savings) but she is not the type to reveal that kind of information, I don't think.

I have a couple of friends who proudly announced to me how much they got saved and it was quite shocking (it was very small... I of course congratulated them because anything above $0 is a good thing.) so there is no way I would share my information with them - the kicker is, they live like I do - probably spend similar amount of money that I do - they live slightly above their means and I live way below my means.

 

[DFA]

Do your's treat you like a piece of dirt?

No, but they are always looking for money and they live on debt. I have had the requests for loans (did that a couple of times and no repayments) and now I just tell them no. Seem pretty bad, but they made and continue to make decisions in life that put them in the situation they are in.

 

[JoeWras]

Like most here, I do my own financial stuff and taxes. However, I know not everyone does.

My advice: never hire a friend or family member for these services. No taxes, no banking, no stockbroking, no financial advice, and even no real estate. Go outside your sphere of friends and family for this.

I've seen some ugly situations when the services are kept in the family.

 

[AnIntentionalRoad]

When I sold my company, it was very public, my name was in the papers, etc, so everyone has a pretty good idea I don't have to work again.

When I meet new people I rarely disclose that I am retired until I've evaluated the person a bit. I start off with, I'm an "advisor" and then give more details later, if I feel like doing so.

 

[chris2008]

I am the CFO in our relationship and DH gets to know the actual data (total of our assets) once a month. He is happy and does not want more details, but he knows where to look for them.
We roughly share our status with my mom, as we have to convince her to spend more money on herself, even more so now that she has lost a lot of her vision and will relocate to assisted living soon.
I do the money management for her, too.