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Old 09-24-2013, 05:35 PM   #21
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Go luck yourself... :P
Will not be able to say it though....
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Old 09-24-2013, 05:38 PM   #22
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We usually don't talk about money much with people offline outside our immediate family, so they have no reason to believe we are either lucky or unlucky.
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Old 09-24-2013, 05:46 PM   #23
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Luck has nothing to do with it.
I was born a white, tall male in America and was able to start investing in the early 1980's - all luck. But others with the same luck did not take advantage of it the way I did.
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Old 09-24-2013, 06:15 PM   #24
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Everyone I know including family and friends think I'm crazy when there is a conversation about retirement, 529 plan, IRA, Roth IRA, paid off house, paying cash to buy new car and not having any credit card or any kind of debt. Most of them have no long term view and think saving couple of hundred thousands dollars is more than enough. They all live lavish life and blow their money whereas I LBYM. Later in the conversation they feel sorry for themselves and label me as I'm lucky that I've savings, no debt and retiring early is possible for me. They all think I'm rich and I earned and saved lots of money just by being lucky. What luck has to do with all this and how I'm lucky and they're not? It took me almost 30 years of hard work, lbym and disciplined savings to be where I'm today. It hurts and bugs me and I want to shout at them but I just mention what luck has to do with this, smile and walk away.
How would you react to conversation like this, what's the best way to answer and have a peace of mind?
If you want to have any friends, the best way and (likely the only) way to answer is "Wow, you got that right!" Rubbing people's noses in their failures relative to your success is never a good plan.

Ha
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Old 09-24-2013, 06:23 PM   #25
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Rubbing people's noses in their failures relative to your success is never a good plan.

Ha
Thanks. That's not and was never the intention. It's annoying everytime you hear the same thing and wanted to know how to handle the situation politely without getting angry.
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Old 09-24-2013, 06:24 PM   #26
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Go luck yourself... :P
Ah, yes, Dick! Cheney.

I think the luck thing salves people's egos. You are a successful er, let them save face.
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Old 09-24-2013, 07:05 PM   #27
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Well if you want them to leave you alone (and avoid you forever), you could tell them, "Oh no it isn't luck! I pray every day, thank my Higher Power, and go to daily Spenders Anonymous meetings! Would you like to join me?" Then give them a copy of this: Spenders Anonymous - The Twelve Steps
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Old 09-24-2013, 07:10 PM   #28
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I know.
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Old 09-24-2013, 07:25 PM   #29
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I've managed to avoid having that sort of conversation with people who are not as "lucky" as I am. In those cases, when they ask if I'm really retired, I say something like "for now" or "I'm too young to retire, but not too young to take a break". Then they won't assume that my financial situation is as good as it is and they'll believe I'm going back to w*ork at some point.

It's a different story with my other ER friends who I know are also well off. We don't share specifics of our financial situations, but nor do we feel compelled to hide the fact that we're doing very well, because there won't be any backlash
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Old 09-24-2013, 07:36 PM   #30
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When most people say "you got lucky" they are just focusing on the end result. They do not realize the hard work that went into the accomplishment that you achieved.
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Old 09-24-2013, 07:46 PM   #31
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Like other responders, here, I take the high road when "luck" is mentioned. I just smile and say, "Yes, I've been fortunate." That usually ends that particular topic.
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Old 09-24-2013, 07:49 PM   #32
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I respond by telling people that I was fortunate and never subscribed to the fallacy of buying stuff I didnít need, with money I didnít have to impress people I didnít like.
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Old 09-24-2013, 08:16 PM   #33
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My new SIL keeps bringing up my early retirement in front of others. She does it in a kind of snotty way. It is very awkward and annoying. She also openly attributes it to the fact that I haven't had children, as if that's the only reason I became financially independent in my 40s. While that's certainly a factor, it ignores all of my hard work, choices, planning, and many personal sacrifices. Also I know there are plenty of parents in this forum.
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Old 09-24-2013, 08:36 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by haha View Post
If you want to have any friends, the best way and (likely the only) way to answer is "Wow, you got that right!" Rubbing people's noses in their failures relative to your success is never a good plan.

Ha
100% agreed. I usually just say "Yes, I am." If they have children, I sometimes follow up with the comment -- "Not having any kids to pay for has made a big difference."
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Old 09-24-2013, 09:28 PM   #35
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I also just smile, agree, and acknowledge our good fortune.
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Old 09-24-2013, 09:37 PM   #36
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I do feel like Warren Buffett that did win the genetically lottery and was lucky in many respect. I was born in the US , in California and in the last half of the 20 th century, where analytical skills were more valuable than strength or coordination. I had two parents that loved me, never got divorce, a grandfather that was a great mentor to foster my interest in science and math despite himself not graduating from high school. I found a major which was both interesting computers and electrical engineer, but was also highly in demand. My 3rd Silicon Valley company was a monster success. Now I did all the normal forum things LBYM, learned about investing, and avoid doing stupid things with my money. I'd like to thing I'd still be on track to retire at 55 even if never made a $ off stock options (My IRA are pretty good size) but who knows.

But still I think I am pretty bloody lucky.
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Old 09-24-2013, 10:00 PM   #37
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I have no standard answer. My response depends on the tone and direction of the conversation. If I sense the other person is envious and defensive, I might respond with "oh I don't know this might actually be a problem and I could go back to work someday". No point making him/her greener with envy. On the other hand, if I feel the other person is sincerely receptive to knowing how I was able to do it, I sometimes open up and speak about my planning, LBYM, investing, making time work for you, etc. As a general rule though, I try to avoid conversations about my early retirement and financial independence with friends, family or friends of friends, especially since many of them are still working. There will always be a tinge of envy and sour grape no matter what, just human nature I guess.

That's why I like this forum. I can anonymously open up and share thoughts with people who are on the same boat.
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Old 09-24-2013, 10:08 PM   #38
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We usually don't talk about money much with people offline outside our immediate family, so they have no reason to believe we are either lucky or unlucky.
Same. Others may make assumptions but it's not something I openly discuss.
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Old 09-25-2013, 04:16 AM   #39
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On "Black Friday" each year I feel the need to post on Facebook: "buy stocks, not stuff ".
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Old 09-25-2013, 05:27 AM   #40
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We don't run into it much. Family knows we don't spend much on travel, hotels, restaurant meals, vacations, new cars, clothes, or many other luxuries. They also think we're a little weird.

But that's okay. I'd rather be weird than living paycheck-to-paycheck as a slave to the credit industry.
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