DOG51 said:
This clip says many are working towards a 2nd career as retirement is boring. The thought of starting a 2nd career makes me want to puke.
I have an idea for a new reality show. In the spirit of Dilbert's Lazy Entrepreneurs, when you make your millions pitching this to Mark Burnett, I'll tell you which charity to give 0.1% of your gross.
Let's take all these "rewired & refired 2nd career retirees" and do a little forensic accounting on their lifestyle. Our team of reality CPAs will determine their spending for the previous three years, update it for retirement changes (no office commute, no more drycleaning, maybe no more mortgage) and show these "reality retirees" how we came up with a monthly stipend of a 4% SWR appropriate to their expense history. (Many fine companies will want to sponsor this show, so budget won't be an issue.) Ideally the retirees will already have a retirement portfolio equivalent to or greater than this monthly stipend. If they don't have enough assets for their "ER expenses" then we'll note that as part of our profile during the show's pilot episode (perhaps with the "Jaws" theme running in the background).
Once we have the data & figures, we'll sit these retirees down to a contract similar to the one signed by the Survivor veterans. For a period of six months we'll freeze their real-world portfolios (and their debts) and simply pay them our calculated 4% SWR stipend for their expenses. We'll guarantee that at the end of the six months their portfolios will be no worse off than they are today-- we don't want anyone worrying about their money for a while. For the duration of the show, if they don't have enough assets in their retirement portfolio to equal a 4% SWR, then maybe we should cut things back to the "possum living" level. However we want this stipend to be high enough to allow these people to enjoy at least a frugal ER without deprivation. (Whoever said that "reality shows" had to be realistic?)
Their part of the deal is to give us complete voyeuristic video access to their lives. We want to document their transition, their new lifestyle, their hopes & fears, and generally "what they do all day". Maybe we want them to be interviewed by Dr. Phil, Oprah, Ellen Degeneres, and other talk-show hosts. Maybe Simon Cowell could follow them around and critique their daily routine. We want to know all about their metamorphosis from "workers" to "people of leisure". Essentially we want to pay these people to be responsible for their own entertainment for SIX WHOLE MONTHS!
If they can't hack it, they can "quit" at any time. We'll send them back to a McJob and document the whole experience on prime-time TV. (I'm thinking FOX network, of course.) If they want to "consult" or "dabble with a startup" then we'll deduct an appropriate amount from their real-world portfolio to reflect their startup risks & expenses.
Maybe we'll stage a few faked "reality" competitions. We'll ask them to open accounts on this board and post at least once a day, and then we'll judge who did the best job (it won't be based on total # of posts!). We'll make them keep logs of "what they do all day". We'll force them to get up no earlier than 8 AM and accomplish nothing before noon. We'll encourage them to start exercise or eating programs that will return them to the physical habits of their teens or 20s. We'll make them spend a few hours in a cubicle sorting paperwork and ask them how they felt about this "simulated work" experience. Maybe we'll even make them take golf or surfing lessons!
They'll be expressly forbidden from lunching with co-workers, checking office e-mail or faxes, or putting in desk time on current projects. They will have to interact with their families. They'll have to either maintain their homes or adopt a perpetual-traveler lifestyle. However they will not be allowed to completely redecorate the house, relandscape the yard, train for an Ironman, or write the Great American Novel.
Any attempts to evade our video surveillance to actually accomplish career-related "work" will be grounds for instant dismissal. Deluded enterpreneurs caught in the act of attempting to coordinate funding & support for their own startup businesses during the taping of the show will be dismissed and then electrocuted on either the "Tonight Show" or Letterman. (We'll auction that event to the highest bidder.)
After six months, we'll meet with the "survivors", preferably on a Friday of a holiday weekend, and we'll show them the videos from their initial interviews. (This is intended to have the same impact as the "Biggest Loser" contestants being shown the life-size photos of their original bodies before they sweated off all that fat.) By the end of our little review session, these retirees will see just how much they've changed their lives and their attitudes.
On the following Tuesday we'll wake them up at 5:30 AM and give them a choice-- go back to work or phone in their resignations. We might have to arrange the shooting schedule for this event to occur in early February, or at least right after a horrendous snowstorm.
Six months later we'll do a followup.
I suspect that the show's structure (and its financial safety net) will enable these "refires" to make the transition that they were unable (or unwilling) to make on their own. Freed of worrying about money and forced to truly focus on how they'll use their time, they'll start taking the baby steps that will eventually enable them to be independent & confident ERs. Faced with the ultimate reality check (having to go to work next week!) I think that most of our contestants will make the right choice.
Winners will be given a loaded shotgun and a GPS receiver. The transmitter will be surgically attached to Dick Cheney or one of his hunting companions.
We're the real winners. We won't have to read that "I'm boooored, I wanna go back to wooooork" crap in the financial & lifestyle magazines anymore!
Please let me know if you're interested in managing this project or merely contributing start-up equity. There will only be a few limited opportunities to get in on the ground floor of this investment.
Some of you may want to play along from home, simulating this experience with your own 4% SWR and an extended vacation or sabbatical. If you do, please write in and let us know how it turned out. We'll send you the family version of our board game, give you tickets to our next studio audience, and perhaps even profile you on the show!
