any way to get out of retirement party?

[PERSonalTime]

I just told them not to have a party. It would have been just a party so my bosses could save face. My immediate supervisor went ahead and arranged a potluck anyway, but I emailed him I wouldn't be attending. Instead, I was doing some last minute training at the scheduled time.

akck,
Great! I think you and I think alike.

 

[Sue]

It seems to me that whether one wants retirement party or not, is in part determined by the type relationship one had with their work colleagues. If one had had collegial, pleasant interactions at work, a retirement party would be a nice way to start retirement. If the interactions were primarily professional, a party might have overtones of a social obligation, but it would still be a fitting end to the job.

On the other hand, if one had not been treated with respect and courtesy by your colleagues, i could understand why one would not want a retirement party. Why would you want to celebrate your retirement with such people?

If you really don't want a retirement party, you can graciously always decline the offer. Say that you'll get back to the organizer about the date when you have a better idea of your schedule. Say that you've already decided about how you'll say goodby to your colleagues. Say that you prefer a donation to a charity that you support instead of the party.

 

[rescueme]

Being an extreme introvert (other than forums who don't know me IRL ), I asked that the cost of any "party" (and contributions from the staff of over 200 folks) be directed to my charity of choice.

Much to my surprise, the local folks along with the various global groups I had the good fortune of working (and managing) over many years contributed more than several $K to my named charity (they certainly need it more than me).

While I thought I might be an SOB while I held my position (for over 28 years), the world-wide contributions showed that I was an "OK guy".

It made me happy/proud and just showed my efforts (while being a major PIA) meant something to the organization.

No "party" could match that...

 

[Mikegt4]

I didn't want a party but my boss insisted (actually one of the best bosses I had in my working life). My coworkers wanted one (free lunch, extended lunchtime). I knew that my boss would organize one anyway so I chose a small lunch party with my immediate coworkers. He invited others to come and it ended up as a nice lunch with the guys. Back at the office we had a cake and everyone in the building came by and wished me well. No speeches. One bad spot, my boss's boss walked by me in the hall, no acknowledgement, not even eye contact (yes, she knew I was there). She had just started in the position a few weeks before and had implemented my downsize induced early retirement (3 years earlier than I planned). She had worked in the same office for a few years and knew my name. She was an "it's all about me and my career" type with little interest in those below her level. Unfortunately all to common in the MegaCorp environment and another good reason to leave. I found out latter that she moved up after less than 6 months in the position and was replaced by another man of the same personality. I don't miss the place at all.

 

[clifp]

Being an extreme introvert (other than forums who don't know me IRL ), I asked that the cost of any "party" (and contributions from the staff of over 200 folks) be directed to my charity of choice.

Much to my surprise, the local folks along with the various global groups I had the good fortune of working (and managing) over many years contributed more than several $K to my named charity (they certainly need it more than me).

While I thought I might be an SOB while I held my position (for over 28 years), the world-wide contributions showed that I was an "OK guy".

It made me happy/proud and just showed my efforts (while being a major PIA) meant something to the organization.

No "party" could match that...

Ok that is excellent suggestion if you simply must not have a retirement party.

But in the many years reading threads on retirement parties. I have yet to hear of single person who didn't at least have a good time and most had a great time at their party.

As other have said the party is for your co-workers. If you are getting out reasonably, young, healthy and sane you are a source of inspiration.
I know it sounds hokey, but I've had to too many former colleagues tell me that my quitting work early and retiring to Hawaii was just that.

At the very worse any excuse for party at work is worthwhile.

 

[Shawn]

But in the many years reading threads on retirement parties. I have yet to hear of single person who didn't at least have a good time and most had a great time at their party.

As other have said the party is for your co-workers.

While I have yet to retire, I have been to other parties and similar situations meant in my behalf. They have been uncomfortable if not agonizing experiences. I have no desire to stand around for an hour and feign enjoyment when in reality I am waiting - if not praying - for the event to end. While I was too timid to decline in my earlier days, I do not hesitate to decline today. Politely decline. "I appreciate the offer, but it would make me feel uncomfortable."

It is ironic. We are taught, and sometimes required, not to make others feel uncomfortable in the workplace. While I doubt the EEOC would mind, a retirement party would make me feel uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. I try not to project my feelings onto others. I hope others provide me with the same courtesy.

My coworkers are free to have a party on my behalf. They can go out to lunch, dinner, have cake in the conference room, or do whatever it is that makes them feel good.

But I do not need to be there. The door to my office is always open. If someone wishes to say goodbye, he or she is free to stop by my office to do so. I do not need to be at a party to say goodbye.

I like the suggestion about charitable contributions.

 

[clifp]

I have definitely been to retirement parties, where I was bored or otherwise uncomfortable. Especially for the big boss type who I didn't really know...

On the other hand you have not retired yet, nor been to a retirement party in your honor. I understand plenty of folks are introverted. I am an INTJ myself.

Obviously people who were dead set against retirement parties didn't go to them and never posted to threads about them. That said in I stand by my statement. In my 14+ years of reading threads about retirement in many forums, many people were reluctant to go their party. I have not read anyone who found THEIR OWN retirement party a bad experience.

 

[martyp]

Is there any smooth way to decline a retirement party? I really just want to get the h*ll out.

I felt the same way at first. There were 3 months between the time I announced that I was going to retire and the time I walked out the door. It took a couple of weeks but after I made the announcement my negative attitude softened. I suggested we meet at a nearby pizza place. I was totally surprised at how many people showed up. Even some people I hadn't worked with for 15-20 yrs were there. In the end I had a really good time.

On the other hand . . . about a year later, my boss was laid off. I returned to see her at her "party". It was a dismal affair in one of the conference rooms. She was still shell shocked for having been laid off (she never saw it coming).

 

[InTheSticks]

On the other hand . . . about a year later, my boss was laid off. I returned to see her at her "party". It was a dismal affair in one of the conference rooms. She was still shell shocked for having been laid off (she never saw it coming).

Wow, I wonder if she had a chance to not have one.

I was in a situation years ago where leaving the company was not my idea and the guy going through the steps of getting my building pass and so forth asked if I would attend a party. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

 

[Shawn]

Obviously people who were dead set against retirement parties didn't go to them and never posted to threads about them. That said in I stand by my statement. In my 14+ years of reading threads about retirement in many forums, many people were reluctant to go their party. I have not read anyone who found THEIR OWN retirement party a bad experience.

That settles it. I'll insist on a retirement party in my honor just so I can be miserable at the affair and prove you wrong.