Dad

[steelyman]

Steely, I loved your story about your Dad's retirement. And the kitty, too. As this is the season I complain loudest about my family, this serves as a good reminder to be grateful for still having them around to complain about.

Thanks, I hadn't thought about that in a while (the kitty one). I later got a beautiful Himalayan, also a stray, and she taught him to mind his manners.

On that Thanksgiving, I'd gotten a small disposable litter box 'cause he was still a kid. But the dog was pretty big, so he must have taken aim to hit the spot!

Happy and safe Thanksgiving, everybody!

 

[steelyman]

A Mom story:

We lived on the east coast for a number of years (NY/NJ region). They had a lot of radio stations that we kids would argue over in the car and reach up into the front seat to punch the radio buttons. Simon & Garfunkel had released "Cecelia", which has this great segment in the middle that sounds African, with drums and wooden flute-sounding things. We were especially rambunctious one day and were beating that radio to death, and landed on that part of Cecelia. Mom turned around and said, "Now you've done it! We're listening to Johannesburg!!!"

 

[steelyman]

In Chicago, it's a given that if you live on the south side, you root for the White Sox. North side, it's the Cubs.

As a result, my dad had never been to Wrigley Field. I took care of that in the mid-90s: a Cubs/Cards game at Wrigley.

The traffic is terrible there on game day, so I dropped them off at the game and went off to a place I knew to park and walked back to join them. When I finally got there, I found him and my mom with beers and dogs sitting outside. He looked almost insane with this huge grin.

One problem: my clueless mom wore a Cardinal red jacket and these StL fans sitting next to us kept buying her beer, which she happily accepted

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

Steve Goodman My Old Man - YouTube

 

[Moemg]

My Dad has been gone for 33 years and I still miss him so much . He was a great guy & a wonderful father . I can remember when I used to play the bass fiddle and my Dad would drive me to the concerts with the fiddle taking up the whole back seat of our Plymouth . Dad would ask me "Why not play the flute "?

 

[Valen]

My dad passed away in 2003. I cried every day the first year he was gone and now still get teary-eyed just thinking about him. He was a hard worker and a hard player, loved my mom and showed it, and his face lit up every time I came to visit (which was almost daily since they only lived a couple miles away). I miss that man!

 

[steelyman]

Hats off to your dads, Mr. Graybeard, Moemg, and Valen!

 

[Rustic23]

My dad has been gone 40 years. I still marvel at what he was able to do. His chosen profession was an accountant, however, he also had a very successful career in real estate. That being said, I think what amazes me the most is what he was able to build. He built several wood boats, and each was a thing of beauty. He built a two story addition on to our house, without power tools! I lament that I had not the time or the patients or the skill to do the same.

 

[steelyman]

I think I mentioned mine was a chemist.

I always had this vague idea he went off to be Jekyll every morning. Kids

 

[iam21177]

My dad died in 2012 when he was only 58. I was 36.

No male on his side of the family had ever lived past 50, so he always said, "I'm ahead of the game! I've already won!" Ha.

His family profession (pipe covered and asbestos remover) are what attributed to the early deaths. He died of metastisized esophageal cancer which spread to his lungs, so his was heartburn/GERDs related actually. But he did have emphasema and black lung disease as well (plus he smoked!).

He was diagnosed at age 52 with cancer and managed to stay alive for 6 years. 53 is the retirement age of pipe fitters (and when they can collect their pension), but dad retired as soon as he learned about the cancer.

While he seemed to have so much common sense in some area, he had absolutely no common sense in other things (binge drinking, DUIs, gambling, crack). Since he has been gone, we don't have to worry about him anymore so that is a relief for me although my mom would take him back and all his troubles any day.

As far as money lessons? I pretty much do exactly the opposite of what my dad did. He really messed up in that area.

 

[aja8888]

As far as money lessons? I pretty much do exactly the opposite of what my dad did. He really messed up in that area.

Funny, that's my mode of operation, too.

My dad was a coal miner in eastern Pa in the early part of the 1900's. He joined the Navy to get out of the mines. I never met either of my grandfathers as they were both dead before I was born (black lung or booze, or both).

 

[steelyman]

I was thinking more about that day at Wrigley. Once we made our way inside, we ate a bunch more.

It occurred to me that a ball park is one of the few places where they literally throw your food at you. Can you imagine if they did that at a fine restaurant?

 

[Moemg]

My Dad used to take us ( my sister,brother & I ) for a Christmas visit to Philadelphia . We took the day off school & went by train. In Philadelphia we shopped for my Mom's Christmas present ,saw Santa ,went to horn & hardat's and finally saw a movie . The year I went we saw "White Christmas " so every year at Christmas I watch that movie and relieve that great day . Thanks steelyman for bringing back great memories .

 

[48Fire]

Grateful to still have mine

 

[steelyman]

No, thank you for reading and saying something. I used to live (as a kid) not too far from Philly. I remember the football Giants fans hated the Eagles. But I can't remember who the Mets hated!

My first baseball game was Chicago/NY in Yankee Stadium. My mom was disgusted at how the outfielders were scratching themselves. My dad and I just got another Coke and hot dog

 

[anethum]

This story still gets me emotional each time I think of it.

I have a lot of admiration in addition to love for both of my parents. They're in their 90's now. Perhaps the most stressful thing I ever did was come out to them long ago. You can never be sure how someone will react when you tell them you're gay. There's a lot more at stake when you tell a parent. I've heard many heartbreaking stories over the years from gay friends. Still, my parents didn't seem like the sort of people who would disown me.

I went over to my parents' home one evening to tell them. I was an emotional wreck. After I finally got the words out, my dad was the first one who spoke. The very first thing he said was, "Well, you didn't think we were going to love you any less, did you?"

 

[steelyman]

That's a perfect thing to say!

 

[BigNick]

Mike Rutherford recently published his autobiography. He describes how many people have told him that this song got them to talk to their Dads. (He also describes how he and his co-author, both of whom had recently lost their fathers, would sometimes feel the need to leave the room for a bit while writing it.)

 

[Calico]

This story still gets me emotional each time I think of it.

I have a lot of admiration in addition to love for both of my parents. They're in their 90's now. Perhaps the most stressful thing I ever did was come out to them long ago. You can never be sure how someone will react when you tell them you're gay. There's a lot more at stake when you tell a parent. I've heard many heartbreaking stories over the years from gay friends. Still, my parents didn't seem like the sort of people who would disown me.

I went over to my parents' home one evening to tell them. I was an emotional wreck. After I finally got the words out, my dad was the first one who spoke. The very first thing he said was, "Well, you didn't think we were going to love you any less, did you?"

What a wonderful story! Reading it brought a (happy) tear to my eye. The world could use many more people like your parents.

 

[steelyman]

Forgive me; one more thing about hot dogs and baseball.

I think it's illegal to not have a beer and a dog. That's how they got "Scarface Al" (that would have been Comiskey).

The G-Men came up the ramp and said, "Hey! That pile of junk isn't eating a dog! Get him!". Next stop: Alcatraz.

Crime doesn't pay. Tell the family.

 

[steelyman]

One more Mom thing: I was talking to a sibling (in honor of Mother's Day) and the topic went to movies we'd seen with Mom. They said Looking For Mr. Goodbar. I mentioned Blue Velvet on Mother's Day. I remember when the movie was over, she turned to me and said, "Is that the kind of movie you show your mother?".

 

[steelyman]

I received a package this week with my dad's ring. It's a smart plain gold band. I had no idea it existed. Needless to say, I am thrilled. It doesn't fit any of my fingers except the pinkies, and they're too small - don't want to lose it.

So I will have it resized bigger. What's a dignified finger on which to wear Dad's ring?

 

[steelyman]

So I will have it resized bigger. What's a dignified finger on which to wear Dad's ring?

It was unfair to pose this question here.

Instead, I called a conference of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (his kids). The verdict was unanimous: the ring will have a new home on the ring finger of my right hand

 

[jollystomper]

My Dad passed away almost 20 years ago. A few years before he died, my wife did a great thing: she interviewed him for several hours and recorded it. She asked him about his years growing up outside of the U.S., immigrating to the U.S., the challenges he faced, etc. There were a lot of things he spoke of that my siblings and I had never heard before. We made copies of the recordings and have played it for his grandkids, especially the ones born just before or after he died, as a way for them to learn about him.

 

[Looking4Ward]

+1 on the bars and pigs feet... Sportsman's Club... Shirley Temple and sour pickle and a nickel for the juke box.
He would have been 106, but passed away at 56. The old morality... I never heard him swear, tell a lie, or denigrate anyone... 'cept he used to call bad people "buggers", though I'm sure he had no idea of the meaning. A member of the Textile Workers' Union along with my mom. In those days, '40's and '50's, much of the social life revolved around the textile factory workers workplace. Plays, softball games, picnics, holiday parties etc. They also went to the "Bug Club"... short for the "Military Order of the Cooties".... private night club in Central Falls. I was the kid in A Christmas Story... Flagpole, Santa Claus, Flat tire, Furnace "clinker", BB gun and all... Except my dad didn't swear!

Thanks for a nice thread.

I always look forward to your posts. And this is one reason why - I haven't spoken to my dad in close to 20 years. He was a hard dad to grow up with, even harder to reconcile with. But I think I have to try one more time now, especially since he has an eight year old grandson he doesn't know about but who asks me on occasion where my daddy is....

So thanks, Imoldernu, for yet another thread that made me think about my current situation.