DW younger and ER

[djr59]

I am almost 58
Wife is 47.
One thing that scares me about ER is she will keep working. Probably for another 3 to 5 years.

Will I be bored?
I am thinking I can boat, fish, play with dog, read, part time job at something I like around one of my hobbies, investing, maybe buy a distressed property and fix and flip. There are even some fix items in my own home that need attention.

Are others in this position?

Comments?

 

[DrRoy]

It is definitely part of the equation - a plan for how to spend your time. I will RE in 3 mo. The first year, we have travel and projects. I am thinking of making a side business out of my photography hobby. Just setting it up will get pretty involved.

 

[djr59]

My side hobby is boating. Thinking about getting my captains license and doing boat delivery and or boat sales. It won't be about the money. Other hobby is investing but that will remain a hobby. The fix and flip idea intrigues me but I can see where that can get aggravating and over some headaches.

 

[Philliefan33]

If your DW is still working while you ER, I think you should spend some of your time on daily household chores. Take over the vacuuming, maybe do all the grocery shopping. Cook dinner a couple of times a week.

 

[mystang52]

There have been a few other threads on this, in a similar vein. I ER'd 3 1/2 years ago. DW is several months older than I, but she still w*rks by choice. Before I pulled the plug, I had more than a few discussions with her to be sure she really was supportive of my ER. Every time she assured me she was in full support, and good news is that this has not changed.
Nevertheless, just to play safe, in the first week of ER I made it a point to not be home when she got home from w*rk. I just didn't want her to come home, and seeing me there doing "nothing."
I used quotations because I rarely do nothing, keeping busy with my recreational pursuits and miscellaneous house projects. And, yes, I make sure the house is not messy. Boredom is definitely not an issue.
Conversely, I can relate an anecdote of my friend who recently retired (at 66). His wife is 4 years younger and resents him not w*rking, and there is some ongoing friction about it. Clearly, they were not on the same page.

 

[HadEnuff]

I am almost 58
Wife is 47.
One thing that scares me about ER is she will keep working. Probably for another 3 to 5 years.

Will I be bored?
I am thinking I can boat, fish, play with dog, read, part time job at something I like around one of my hobbies, investing, maybe buy a distressed property and fix and flip. There are even some fix items in my own home that need attention.

Are others in this position?

Comments?

Don't forget the other part of the equation. After years of having the house to yourself you will have an adjustment getting used to having her around all day. I'm not joking, this can be a real issue.

 

[Dd852]

Don't forget the other part of the equation. After years of having the house to yourself you will have an adjustment getting used to having her around all day. I'm not joking, this can be a real issue.

Yes - we love each other very much but both definitely need to have time away from each other too. I do some consulting which pays for some office space when I need it and DW often "suggests" I spend some time at the office! That's my cue to read there or wander or find a friend to have a very long lunch with or find some other amusement. Other times she'll go off and do something and leave me alone for a day. We come back together refreshed with things to talk about.

The OPs issue is one thing - if the wife resents still working there'll be tension. Both must be on the same page. And he better do his share or more of the chores! If he is bored on his own, that's a problem too - he needs to be able to amuse himself.

Hadenuff's issue is very important too - 24x7 togetherness isn't always ideal even (or maybe especially for) the most loving couples - each probably needs his/her own sphere and individual activities. That's certainly true for us.

 

[Walt34]

I am thinking of making a side business out of my photography hobby. Just setting it up will get pretty involved.

I was thinking along those lines too for a while. Then I read Best Business Practices for Photographers. He talked me right out of that insanity! But if you insist, I do recommend the book. It's very thorough, and points out issues that I hadn't even begun to think about. Although I enjoy photography I have little interest in running a business and 50% of the time will be spent doing that.

Y
Hadenuff's issue is very important too - 24x7 togetherness isn't always ideal even (or maybe especially for) the most loving couples - each probably needs his/her own sphere and individual activities. That's certainly true for us.

Yes, we found that out too. After a while it started feeling like being joined at the hip and we realized that some "alone time" is a good thing.

 

[travelover]

I was retired for 9 1/2 years before DW could pull the trigger. As others have noted, I took over fixing meals on weekdays, most cleaning and yard work. For me, it was no big deal, I still had most of every day to goof off.

We are adjusting to her being here all the time and she has taken meal preparation back over full time, but in general, no big issues. We both know how to amuse ourselves.

 

[Sue J]

DH retired over 6 years ago and I still work very part time at a job I enjoy.

I don't resent him being home. I'm glad he's retired and enjoying it.

When he first retired I asked him if he'd take over some part of keeping the household running. He politely declined. After a few years he took over the grocery shopping and I am thrilled with the change. I did it for DECADES and he has a fresh view on the whole task. He also does about half the laundry. He took over some of the cleaning around here, the bathroom and some vacuuming, which is great.

He has always done all the outside tasks, lawn upkeep, raking, etc. He LOVES to shovel snow and I like to watch him doing it!

I like him being home, I was a stay at home mom for many years and always enjoyed it. He worked many years and put up with a lot of work crap so that he could retire with a pension that comfortably supports us.

One of the things I like about my job is that I have some alone time. DH and I have been together for over 40 years and we get along very well but I still need some time alone.

 

[djr59]

I already cook and do chores. So doing more won't be a issue.

 

[Senator]

DGF is 12 years younger. We have been together for 26+ years. She pulled the plug when I did. I was 56 she was 44. The only reason she could was because of me.

It may have been better for her to keep working. She needs the structure more than me.

 

[Bigdawg]

DW youger and ER

I am 6 yrs older than DW. In 2015 I tried RE for 8 months. I was busy but after 5 months realized I needed more of a mental challenge. I have been back to work for 15 months now and loving it. I did a bit more around the house for those 8 months, but not enough apparently. Some of it was smothering her when she walked it the door. "Hey honey, how was your day?" Followed by "what's for dinner?". Haha. What those eight months did was open up our lines of comm re: retirement. Now she is at least thinking about it. We are both FI. She 45 me 51. Her dad still runs his own small company at soon to be 77. RE is such a strange concept for her. We are starting to enjoy our vacations more and I am optimistic that I can get her to retire after she rates her second pension at age 50.5.