Giving up on all things that gives me stress ...

[jollystomper]

Seriously, they mostly seem to be places where the miserable congregate to attack and degrade anyone with a good attitude. In that way, it reminds me more of junior high.

+1

On a flight earlier this year a man sitting next to me who chose to engage me in conversation became visibly upset that I wasn't upset about the things he was upset about. Eventually I said "you know, the only thing that might stress me out are people who think I should be stressed out". He glowered but did not say another word to me for the rest of the flight. And did not reply when I said "have a nice day" as we got off the flight.

 

[Lsbcal]

Oh, what a nightmare!

I haven't had dreams about my actual workplace, but I dreamed last night that I was interviewing to be a cook on a pirate ship. I was talking to another applicant, who was just a shadowy shape in the dream, and we were wondering how we could be so desperate as to want the job.

...but did you get the job?

 

[Amethyst]

You may well ask! Unfortunately, the alarm went off before I even got to talk to the first mate.

...but did you get the job?

 

[haha]

I also have tried to let go of stressful things. It does not seem to be as easy as i would like. If you have children and grandchildren you are not really in control of all stressors, because you have a lot of love invested in people over whom you have no control. You have an SO? He of she is very important to you, but not at all under your control. And death and illness? Hard to just shut of concern about this by turning off the TV.

Still, the kinds of opting-out behaviors mentioned here definitely help. Except my GF gets pissed at me for not being upset about political and societal things that get her going. But would my stress be lessened by DC'g her? Hell no, as one of life's very big stressors can be loneliness. And compared to love relationships, Meet-Ups are very thin gruel.

Ha

 

[CaptTom]

I dreamed last night that I was interviewing to be a cook on a pirate ship. I was talking to another applicant, who was just a shadowy shape in the dream, and we were wondering how we could be so desperate as to want the job.

Wow, I LIKE your dreams! Let me know if you get the job, I may be asking for a reference

My dreams rarely make that much sense.

On a flight earlier this year a man sitting next to me who chose to engage me in conversation became visibly upset that I wasn't upset about the things he was upset about.

There are important issues in the world, and it can be upsetting when things don't go as we'd hoped. I get that.

But my approach has always been to focus on the things I CAN change, and try not to stress over the ones I can't.

 

[kcowan]

But my approach has always been to focus on the things I CAN change, and try not to stress over the ones I can't.

IT is funny because I adhere to the same philosophy, but when I articulate it with friends, they say: It is important! How can you ignore it?

I say: Show me something I can do (not signing a petition!), and I will gladly do it!

 

[kgtest]

I am going to practice the same look.


Today, I got a bit of stress trying to pick which restaurant to go to. Damn, why do we have to eat?

If you are super lazy you could container prep, do it once a week and then you don't need to think about it. Or just eat once a day but make it a feast, although thats likely unhealthy.

 

[robnplunder]

I also have tried to let go of stressful things. It does not seem to be as easy as i would like. If you have children and grandchildren you are not really in control of all stressors, because you have a lot of love invested in people over whom you have no control. You have an SO? He of she is very important to you, but not at all under your control. And death and illness? Hard to just shut of concern about this by turning off the TV.

True. My biggest stressers are my own family members. They have been for decades, with DW suffering from them just being married to me. No more (at least I will die trying). I decided to minimize interacting with the usual offenders.

 

[Scuba]

+1



Not only newspaper comments, the comments section of most websites is often something resembling one of Dante's rings of hell. I just don't go there.

[emoji23] +1
Amazing how many rude and illiterate people comment on news stories. I skimmed a few a couple of times which was enough to convince me not to do it again.

 

[TromboneAl]

[emoji23] +1
Amazing how many rude and illiterate people comment on news stories. I skimmed a few a couple of times which was enough to convince me not to do it again.

You know what they call those people?

"Voters."

 

[TromboneAl]

I realized I rarely remembered my dreams. I started making an effort, and soon I remembered them quite clearly,

and I found that most of them were stressful.

So I stopped doing that.

 

[FUEGO]

True. My biggest stressers are my own family members. They have been for decades, with DW suffering from them just being married to me. No more (at least I will die trying). I decided to minimize interacting with the usual offenders.

I'm dealing with this situation right now where the alternatives aren't great. My total dick of a brother. This guy is the master of cussing you out in front of everyone including his kids and your kids. And he REALLY REALLY REALLY hates me for things that are/were completely within his control.

Apparently someone invited him to my Grandma's small 90th birthday party celebration in 2 weeks. And he told them he would come.

Do I go and celebrate with my last remaining grandparent (and very likely her last remaining big milestone b-day)? I could skip it and make grandma sad. Or show up and potentially have to deal with this total a$$hole.

Currently leaning toward not showing up for the b-day if brother is likely to be there. Instead I can go visit the week before or after just to avoid the potential 10-20 minute screamfest directed at me (what happened 6 months ago at the last b-day party I attended where he was present).

This is the single largest stressful event I've had to deal with this year, so I can't complain too much!

 

[robnplunder]

Currently leaning toward not showing up for the b-day if brother is likely to be there. Instead I can go visit the week before or after just to avoid the potential 10-20 minute screamfest directed at me

This. No need to deal with someone like your bro. Incidentally, it's my bro along with my father (wboth have Narcissistic Personality Disorder) who have been giving me the most stress for decades. They hurt everyone in their path and are still hurting their loved ones. I won't let them stress me in my ER. I worked too hard for a happy ER.

 

[FUEGO]

This. No need to deal with someone like your bro. Incidentally, it's my bro along with my father (both have Narcissistic Personality Disorder) who have been giving me the most stress for decades. They hurt everyone in their path and are still hurting their loved ones. I won't let them stress me in my ER. I worked too hard for a happy ER.

I like it. I've just been referring to his undiagnosed mental illness as "crazy as hell a$$hole". "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" sounds so much more official.

He refuses to consider therapy because he doesn't see anything wrong with his behavior (it's literally everyone else in his extended family, and not him ). Or even acknowledge that therapists are anything more than shamans (because he knows it all).

My only concerns in this situation are for others - not worth it to have my grandma listen to his raging and screaming at me (though he would probably redirect his attention to my parents if I wasn't there). And the fact that my grandma would be disappointed if I didn't show. It's not going to be a large party by her request - just immediate kids/grands/great-grands so my (and by extension my wife and kids) absence will remove 33% of the attendees.

 

[robnplunder]

I like it. I've just been referring to his undiagnosed mental illness as "crazy as hell a$$hole". "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" sounds so much more official.

He refuses to consider therapy because he doesn't see anything wrong with his behavior (it's literally everyone else in his extended family, and not him ). Or even acknowledge that therapists are anything more than shamans (because he knows it all).

My only concerns in this situation are for others - not worth it to have my grandma listen to his raging and screaming at me (though he would probably redirect his attention to my parents if I wasn't there). And the fact that my grandma would be disappointed if I didn't show. It's not going to be a large party by her request - just immediate kids/grands/great-grands so my (and by extension my wife and kids) absence will remove 33% of the attendees.

NPDs don't realize they have issues. It's everyone else's doing. In any case, stay away from him and the stress he brings. NPDs are jealous of others, can't handle rejection (even perceived ones), etc.. They bring stress to you if you allow them in your life. And you can't reason with them.

 

[Scuba]

You know what they call those people?

"Voters."

Sad but true!

 

[Bryan Barnfellow]

Here in Switzerland our television system allows you to record programs and watch them later with a click of a button (no special equipment beyond the internet box). Yesterday I accidentally deleted all 875 programs that I had recorded over the last 8 years, including a lot that were on my "to be watched or re-watched later" list. There was no way to retrieve them...gone forever. I was happy that the feelings I had, after the initial shock of the loss, were ones of relief. A clean slate where previous "opportunities" have been wiped away turns out to be a great stress reliever. Now, I feel more motivated to pare down in other ways.

-BB

 

[kcowan]

Every year when we go south, we prepare our northern home for renters. In addition to getting some things fixed, I erase all the recordings and recording events from the PVR. Such a liberating activity!

 

[DatumPoint5]

You know what they call those people?

"Voters."

Jury of your peers?

 

[Chuckanut]

NPDs don't realize they have issues. It's everyone else's doing. In any case, stay away from him and the stress he brings. NPDs are jealous of others, can't handle rejection (even perceived ones), etc.. They bring stress to you if you allow them in your life. And you can't reason with them.

Another name is Crazy Maker. They are toxic.

Five traits of a narcissist or crazymaker

 

[Chuckanut]

One thing I am getting rid of in my life is clutter. I was amazed at how much time I spent fussing over things from the past, while spending little time on the present and not planning a good future.

Getting rid of clutter is a great way to get rid of stress.

 

[robnplunder]

One thing I am getting rid of in my life is clutter. I was amazed at how much time I spent fussing over things from the past, while spending little time on the present and not planning a good future.

Getting rid of clutter is a great way to get rid of stress.

I've been doing it a little at a time. After every "ridding," I feel a bit of my stress is gone along with the clutter I've just gotten rid of.

 

[TromboneAl]

I can't stop watching/reading the news even though it's clearly stressful. I'm enabled by the Android news apps that let me see the latest with a tap of my finger.

Fishing is good, because I can't check the news while I'm out on the kayak, but often, the first thing I do when I get home is tap to find out what I missed.

 

[Chuckanut]

I agree. I rarely watch the 'news' today.

 

[audreyh1]

I still check more often than I should. But having no TV or radio news and no commercials has really helped the stress level and most news is indirect from social media and I can investigate a particular story further if I want to know anything.