Guilty about working spouse?

[Jarhead*]

Re: Both spouses should have work skills.

Spouse & I have been friends with another military married couple for decades.  One's an O-6, the other's an O-5, and they'll both stay in until forced to retire.  One may be wearing several stars by then, although we all know who's been helping behind the scenes.  

So with a combined annual income of over $300K, $2M in the retirement portfolio, and qualified to draw $100K govt pensions with COLAs & paid medical, then why the heck are they both working 70-hour weeks?  His excuse is testosterone poisoning-- he loves being a steely-eyed killer of the deep and he feels obligated to "support the family" by being largely absent to earn that means of support.  It's not necessarily "right" or "wrong" but it sure has society's seal of approval.

Nords: With those kind of numbers, it appears that our national gratitude for the "financial hardships" for our men in uniform has been misdirected

 

[Nords]

Re: Both spouses should have work skills.

Nords:  With those kind of numbers, it appears that our national gratitude for the "financial hardships" for our men in uniform has been misdirected

C'mon, Jarhead, I'm sure you had days when you could play poker with your uncashed paychecks-- either while deployed for many months or while in the hospital avoiding physical therapy.

They currently have a combined total of five decades of military service. If you or I did this then we'd have similar numbers. And thanks to the military's assignment policies they were DINKs for at least the first 10 years of their careers.

What's even more amazing is that they know next to nothing about investing. They did it all with USPA-IRA FirstCommand. She observed to me in early 2002 that their account balance hadn't gone up in more than a year, and did I think there was a problem with the stock market?

Nice people with nice kids, and I'd happily go to war in any submarine crew that he's part of, but I'd have to say that they've traded their lives for their money.

For the rest of you drooling over the numbers, allow me to point out that they're still married, not disabled, and survivors. The military has few Gretzkys who can pull off that hat trick. You don't put up with those odds just for the money.

 

[deserat]

Oh yeah - USPA and IRA -ooops First Command - had the most intimidating sales experience in my life with them - they are not allowed to darken my door. As for your friends - yes, many people are like that - my husband and I are right now, too, but we won't be giving that many years......and we sure *won't* be giving any money to First Command to manage.

Deserat

 

[Mr._johngalt]

The "First Command (ment)" is manage your own money.

JG

 

[ex_CFO_now_RVer]

Guilty, I do not think so. DW wishes to continue to be fulfilled by being employed. Its her decision. I support her, by doing all the the stuff around the house so that we may play a little more in our new RV.


Need to be on the road more!

 

[Martha]

Hey RVer, we too enjoy being on the road. My spouse is retired and I am part time. We are doing several trips a year, up to a month in length. What kind of trips do you do?

 

[ex_CFO_now_RVer]

Martha,
Prior to ER in Feb. 05 we rved on weekends  and 2 one week trips per year.  Now, I will drive the RV to our destination and wife will fly in, and drive back home together until she er's in a few years. New RV has a 150 gallon fuel tank versus 100 in the previous RV. Goes a little further without stopping.

Dave

 

[JWV]

Need to be on the road more!

Me, too! I'm already looking at RV's for part-time on the road living and the Escapees site is a favorite. My shot of inspiration before going to work every a.m. Maybe we should start a new thread. Here's an interesting site but be warned, you'll be jealous http://underagedrvers.blogspot.com/

To get back to the guilty, stuff. I am the worker bee and husband stays home. I try like hell to make him feel guilty, so far, no luck

Judy

 

[Mr._johngalt]

I posted most of this before. Maybe I can make it look fresh.

A friend in Texas told me that "A workin' wife is more valuable than a pumpin' oil well!" That paycheck is nice,
and I don't see my spouse quitting anytime soon.
Anyway, I've suggested that she quit numerous times.
Won't do it. Stubborn about it. So now, I am just waiting for her to decide when to cut back or retire.
Truly have no idea when that will be. A bigger worry
than the loss of the paycheck is how our relationship might be altered by both of us not working. I am absolutely as busy as I wish to be.
Would she be able to do the same without upsetting my
carefully crafted loafing? Stay tuned..................

JG

 

[Jarhead*]

I posted most of this before.  Maybe I can make it look fresh.

A friend in Texas told me that "A workin' wife is more valuable than a pumpin' oil well!"  That paycheck is nice,
and I don't see my spouse quitting anytime soon.
Anyway, I've suggested that she quit numerous times.
Won't do it.  Stubborn about it.  So now, I am just waiting for her to decide when to cut back or retire.
Truly have no idea when that will be.  A bigger worry
than the loss of the paycheck is how our relationship might be altered by both of us not working.  I am absolutely as busy as I wish to be.
Would she be able to do the same without upsetting my
carefully crafted loafing?  Stay tuned..................

JG

JG: When your wife quits, that's when the rubber meets the road. (Not talking financially).
My wife was a homemaker, but until I hit my stride after moving to new location, and started golfing and fly-fishing on a regular basis, I had the feeling that she had a little too much husband.
It is definantly an adjustment, and giving a lot of space is the best thing.
My wife and I are both pretty much extroverts, and it was a sacrafice on her part to move 600 miles away, and give up her daily contact with friends she had over the years, so I cut her a lot of slack when we first moved.
She has made new friends, and not only puts up with my hobbies, (obsessions), but would probably divorce me on grounds of "over-exposure" if I decided to stay home more often.
Be prepared to have to come up with a new game plan.