Help Me Find a Place That Suits Us Please

[Bestwifeever]

My goodness.

As at least one other poster has mentioned, this thread is setting up to be a "Yeah, but" thread. As in "Yeah, your answer makes sense, but..."

Instead of depending on the random kindness of Internet strangers, maybe you should start sorting databases. Somewhere on the Internet, or in the Montessori/Waldorf systems, there has to be a list of all the schools. Surely you can find a similar list for airports. Then you can work with the typical "Best 25 Cities" lists for climate and cost of living.

I was going to suggest Oahu until I realized there's an Outback in Waikiki. So never mind.

This. Just pick your most important criterion and find where that's available; narrow by next important criterion. Rinse and repeat.

 

[LOL!]

I think most all schools qualify for "students are respected and bullying is not tolerated". I mean how many schools put in their brochures "We don't respect students and we tolerate bullying." Thus, I would not have that as the first criteria.

Just move out on Long Island somewhere and you will be fine. I suggest Lloyd Harbor.

 

[bltkmt]

Another place to consider is San Luis Obispo, halfway between LA and SF in the Central Coast. Voted Happiest City in America or something like that. Scenic, mild climate and easygoing. Not near major airport but you can connect from SLO to LAX and Las Vegas.

This is my dream destination...my in-laws live in Cayucos, about 20 mins north of SLO. I went to school at UCSB and know the area well. As long as you don't need a career this is the place to live.

 

[Seeking Hobbes]

Like the OP, from day 1 of my FIRE I've been thinking about a relo... In fact many of his criteria match mine (with the exception of those that are child related).

I've tried the "usual suspects" of websites/articles/statistics looking for MY ideal place. It's interesting that some replies have suggested Charlotte (my current home)... honestly, it's a great city. Having transferred here from colder climates in MI/WV/NY/DE/PA... I now know I could never live anywhere colder than NC. Still, I'm ready for a move. Here are some Charlotte, NC pro's/con's for the OP...

Pro's
- Large(ish) city with a small city feel
- Affordable housing
- Comfortable weather (snow is rare, although 100F temp & high humidity is frequent in late July/Aug)
- Lot's of easily accessible attractions/festivals/charitable events (for all activity levels)
- Some great food (not NYC but with a J&W campus here, creative chefs/restaurants are well represented)

Con's
- A little too "red neck" in some crowds
- A little too "religious" in some crowds
- Disappointed by the whole Gay Marriage Amendment (while not affected by it directly, I think it's bad policy and bad for the state. Charlotte BTW voted 60/40 against.)
- Weather is still a little too "4 seasons." While nice, I'd prefer a narrower range of yearly temps (say 30deg swing rather than 70deg).

That said... I've been targeting Hawaii and CA. I realize that HI probably isn't an option for the OP, so the CA cities I've been pondering are... Santa Cruz, San Jose, San Luis Obispo, Redding (Shasta Lake).

Like many have mentioned, I'm worried about the state financial issues and concerned about the COLA from NC to CA. Still, I'd love to hear more opinions on the towns above.

As for my HI dream, that may be the best option for me. I figure if I'm gonna take the plunge, moving to a high COL location... I might as well make it paradise

 

[BellBarbara]

z-d-g

> In fact, we're going to see both Novato and San Rafael; but now you have me concerned. Why are the words "have to" in front of those? I just don't know the area. What's wrong with those places (feel free to DM me)?

Oh that was a slip. So funny. When you live in Marin county, it's status to be closer to the city - Tiburon, Larkspur, Corte Madera, Sausalito, etc. More "cache". San Rafael and Novato are great. I lived in each of them. More value in Novato, as it's further away from the city (Marin county people call SF "the city"). My first house purchase was in Novato.

I actually would NOT buy in those chi-chi towns in Marin, unless I was really wealthy. It's so status conscious that I don't think it's a good place to bring up your kids. Too much focus on expensive cars, etc. I am sure you know that from Manhattan.

I never lived in Petaluma, but friends did. It really upscaled - lots of great restaurants, etc. now.

 

[BellBarbara]

Marin is such a beautiful area, you would be so happy there. When I go back regularly (my BFF still lives in Novato) I am overblown by the beauty. They really focus on not overbuilding and the environment.

Check out Lucas Valley in San Rafael. It's an exit two north of the main San Rafael central area. I have always liked that area. Although the houses are mostly Eichlers.

 

[Koolau]

This is an interesting thread and can be useful to members if we don't start discussing ideology and steer away from cultural stereotypes.

Michael, perhaps I misunderstand your point, but I happen to think the "cultural" aspects of a community or area are as important as the geography and weather. We use "stereotypes" because we humans are unable to avoid them. We generalize from what we see/experience. Otherwise, we would not be able to make sense of the world. The fact that most stereotypes are, in the final analysis, "inaccurate" doesn't mean they can not be useful (sort of like the hypotheses/theory system we use in the scientific world - most theories are flawed, but that doesn't mean they aren't useful.) As long as the advice given does not denigrate, I think it useful to have an idea of cultural issues in places being considered.

I bring this up because I was going to recommend to z-d-g the island of Oahu. It sounds as if z-d-g can afford 1) The housing 2) The private schools, 3) The elevated COL in general. The weather is "perfect", the air time to any major mainland city is 8 to 10 hours at most. It has "international" shopping and restaurants. In short, his 5 stated requirements are more-or-less covered.

But, culturally, z-d-g needs to understand that it is different than most places he has lived (though, oddly, probably closer to NYC than MOST of the places listed by others - simply on the basis of diversity.) Having said that, it IS more of an Asian culture than a European culture. I don't consider that good or bad, just a fact. And it's an important fact (e.g., one does NOT wear shoes when entering another person's dwelling - it's cultural.) So, if one only wants to know about weather and geography, one can look it all up on the net. Understanding the cultural issues (especially through the eyes of those who have lived someplace) is probably best approached by talking to folks - as z-d-g has initiated. Just my humble opinion of course, so YMMV.

 

[mh]

Interesting you should say that, I had Santa Cruz on my short list until talking to someone who went to UCSC and then stuck around for a few years afterward. She was saying Santa Cruz is a pretty cool place to go to school, get high, surf, and hang out but that when it got time for her to "get serious" she found SC to be too laid back (whatever that means). She also said there tended to be a real us-vs-them attitude there between the natives and the transplants. Like more than other places. Would you disagree? Should we put it back on our list?

I've stayed with a friend often who lives in Bonny Doon (in the hills above SC)
I'd put it back on your list. I never got any of the "us vs them" vibe. I have no idea what the "get serious" thing means. I'm guessing that means "get a job"
which isn't an issue with you. Yes there is a "hippie" contingent there so it can feel a bit like one big college town sometimes. Personally I like that though. San jose airport is about 35 mi / 45 minutes away. San Fransisco is about an hour.
My friend was quite happy w/ the schools in the bonny doon area.

 

[MichaelB]

Michael, perhaps I misunderstand your point, but I happen to think the "cultural" aspects of a community or area are as important as the geography and weather. We use "stereotypes" because we humans are unable to avoid them. We generalize from what we see/experience. Otherwise, we would not be able to make sense of the world. The fact that most stereotypes are, in the final analysis, "inaccurate" doesn't mean they can not be useful (sort of like the hypotheses/theory system we use in the scientific world - most theories are flawed, but that doesn't mean they aren't useful.) As long as the advice given does not denigrate, I think it useful to have an idea of cultural issues in places being considered.

Koolau, I was not suggesting cultural aspects be ignored, just to be careful to avoid offending some members with negative (and usually incorrect) stereotypes. That's all.

 

[mh]

Like the OP, from day 1 of my FIRE I've been thinking about a relo... In fact many of his criteria match mine (with the exception of those that are child related).

I've tried the "usual suspects" of websites/articles/statistics looking for MY ideal place. It's interesting that some replies have suggested Charlotte (my current home)... honestly, it's a great city. Having transferred here from colder climates in MI/WV/NY/DE/PA... I now know I could never live anywhere colder than NC. Still, I'm ready for a move. Here are some Charlotte, NC pro's/con's for the OP...

Pro's
- Large(ish) city with a small city feel
- Affordable housing
- Comfortable weather (snow is rare, although 100F temp & high humidity is frequent in late July/Aug)
- Lot's of easily accessible attractions/festivals/charitable events (for all activity levels)
- Some great food (not NYC but with a J&W campus here, creative chefs/restaurants are well represented)

Con's
- A little too "red neck" in some crowds
- A little too "religious" in some crowds
- Disappointed by the whole Gay Marriage Amendment (while not affected by it directly, I think it's bad policy and bad for the state. Charlotte BTW voted 60/40 against.)
- Weather is still a little too "4 seasons." While nice, I'd prefer a narrower range of yearly temps (say 30deg swing rather than 70deg).

That said... I've been targeting Hawaii and CA. I realize that HI probably isn't an option for the OP, so the CA cities I've been pondering are... Santa Cruz, San Jose, San Luis Obispo, Redding (Shasta Lake).

Like many have mentioned, I'm worried about the state financial issues and concerned about the COLA from NC to CA. Still, I'd love to hear more opinions on the towns above.

As for my HI dream, that may be the best option for me. I figure if I'm gonna take the plunge, moving to a high COL location... I might as well make it paradise

I lived in the San Jose area for a while because it was close to work. The santa cruz area is a lot nicer. Los Gatos /Campbell which is in between the two is ok, but i'd still go for S.C.

 

[meekie]

[*]Housing can't be outrageously expensive (or we'd just stay in NYC). We can easily afford a house in the $500k-$750k range and could stretch that to $1.1m or so for a perfect house in a perfect city/town. We need at least a 3/2 with a garage and prefer a pool. We do not want a giant house like we used to have in Texas, something in the 2500-3000 sf range would be more than enough.

Since I've been looking at real estate in San Diego, I'd say with your budget you could probably get something pretty great. I don't know about schooling, a lot of people I know just buy houses in the best neighborhoods so their kids can go to public school.

If you decide on San Diego, I'd be happy to help point out good and bad areas of town. Someone mentioned Escondido, which I find way too hot in the summer, and I've never heard about any restaurants that are worth the drive.

 

[RunningBum]

For the NC posters, Raleigh-Durham and Chapel Hill would have been near the top of our list except for the weather. It appears from research that NC is basically just as humid as Texas; is that not your experience?

I've lived in both Raleigh/Cary and Austin. Raleigh-Durham is more humid, but not as hot, and the summer isn't nearly as long.

 

[Calgary_Girl]

My goodness.

As at least one other poster has mentioned, this thread is setting up to be a "Yeah, but" thread. As in "Yeah, your answer makes sense, but..."

Instead of depending on the random kindness of Internet strangers, maybe you should start sorting databases. Somewhere on the Internet, or in the Montessori/Waldorf systems, there has to be a list of all the schools. Surely you can find a similar list for airports. Then you can work with the typical "Best 25 Cities" lists for climate and cost of living.

I was going to suggest Oahu until I realized there's an Outback in Waikiki. So never mind.

I'm surprised no one said this sooner. The OP sure has a lot of criteria to fill. I won't try to convince him to move to Calgary (we do celebrate our Redneck heritage every Stampede afterall; not to mention the snow!)

 

[z-d-g]

I've lived in both Raleigh/Cary and Austin. Raleigh-Durham is more humid

Bummer. That's what I was afraid of.

 

[Midpack]

Bummer. That's what I was afraid of.

As you undoubtedly know, no other part of the US will have a climate as moderate as the left coast. You just need to choose a temperature range and pick the area that matches from warm/south to cooler-damper/north. No surprise...

 

[z-d-g]

My thanks to all the helpful people on this thread. We're heading out to Northern California the last week of June to look at schools and houses. Very, very excited.

 

[Ally]

Hush up now!

heh heh heh -

I see you live north of KC. Do you like it? I love to visit.

 

[JOHNNIE36]

Friend of mine always said he would never live north of the signs that state "bridge freezes before roadway".

 

[W2R]

Friend of mine always said he would never live north of the signs that state "bridge freezes before roadway".

We have signs to that effect here in south Louisiana, so he'd have to move pretty far south.

Instead of putting signs like that all over the country, I would suggest two questions on all written driving tests: "Do bridges freeze in cold weather?" And, "Which usually freezes first? (1) bridges (2) roadway" . Then the money to make all of those useless signs could be saved and used for something worthwhile.

 

[Gumby]

Friend of mine always said he would never live north of the signs that state "bridge freezes before roadway".

You could follow in Ulysses' footsteps and walk south with a hockey stick until someone says "what's that?"

 

[Nords]

Friend of mine always said he would never live north of the signs that state "bridge freezes before roadway".

We had to explain that one to our daughter during a Mainland trip. She thought the road engineers had installed special refrigeration units in the bridges.

She still doesn't have much experience with the concept, and now she's a little paranoid about it. Every time it's cold out she slows down as she approaches the bridge...

 

[JOHNNIE36]

You could follow in Ulysses' footsteps and walk south with a hockey stick until someone says "what's that?"

Gumby, that really tickled my funnybone! Still laughing.

 

[SpencerM]

My thanks to all the helpful people on this thread. We're heading out to Northern California the last week of June to look at schools and houses. Very, very excited.

Being from Northern California, and having lived years in Southern California, I cannot now recommend either place. This is due to the now high State taxes, and declining infrastructure.

Some people here recommend Napa area - very scenic and my original home, but a bit too much of a hassle if you need to get to a major airport with any frequency (SFO). Highway 101 is a disaster now. If that is needed, eliminate anything north of San Rafael. I liked LA for school and work - would not live there in retirement - congestion and lack of public transportation.

If money is no object and neither is easy large airport access, and you have your sights on California, try Monterrey. Coming from NYC you must learn to depend on the car now if you go anywhere in CA, except perhaps San Francisco - in the City. I admit to having a current bias to the West Coast as I have a house in Seattle although not living there at the moment.

Good luck in your search - rent first somewhere - best way to figure things out.

 

[JOHNNIE36]

We had to explain that one to our daughter during a Mainland trip. She thought the road engineers had installed special refrigeration units in the bridges.

She still doesn't have much experience with the concept, and now she's a little paranoid about it. Every time it's cold out she slows down as she approaches the bridge...

Good one Nords! Better safe than sorry.

 

[Surfdaddy]

Well let me give you a Californian's perspective. We live in Ventura County (between LA and Santa Barbara, and over the hills from Malibu). The ocean is 45 minutes away. LAX is 1 hour away. LA is one hour away. Santa Barbara is one hour away. We live in one of the lowest crime areas of the country. The weather is nearly ideal.

But we have a large suburban house and are wanting to downsize. Ideally, a highrise condo with a great downtown we could afford! But the more we look around and consider things, the more we think we might just buy a smaller place nearby. We really WOULD like to leave the screwed up state finances. But the ease of travel access, amenities, great weather, and low crime is pretty compelling -- in spite of the screwed up state government. If taxes get too high or we get desperate enough, we could move out. But not yet willing to do so.

If I were looking to move, places like Las Vegas (cheap, but more downscale/blue collar) or Colorado (pretty, but still pretty expensive in Denver/Boulder, and snow) or Medford, OR (pretty, but kind of far from a big city for travel purposes) are places that we've considered. We still can't say we have found anywhere we'd rather be unless financial reasons forced our hand.