Help Me Find a Place That Suits Us Please

[BigNick]

I find it slightly amusing that you would consider a Montessori or Waldorf school, but not a "religious" one. Both have large amounts of dubious and unscientific ideology behind them.

 

[z-d-g]

z-d-g,
I suggest checking out the Santa Cruz and surrounding areas. I loved Santa Cruz when I lived there in the 1970's. The summer mornings typically had light fog, and usually cleared out for an 80's day. During the winter it never snowed, but the Pacific storms were very exciting. The University of California is there, and the town is large enough to hold a rich arts and cultural milieu - lots of quirky artists, musicians, healers, scientists, and psychics. I also love the mountain towns - Ben Lomond and Boulder Creek because of that culture, and they are surrounded by beautiful redwood forests...plenty of alternative schools too!

Interesting you should say that, I had Santa Cruz on my short list until talking to someone who went to UCSC and then stuck around for a few years afterward. She was saying Santa Cruz is a pretty cool place to go to school, get high, surf, and hang out but that when it got time for her to "get serious" she found SC to be too laid back (whatever that means). She also said there tended to be a real us-vs-them attitude there between the natives and the transplants. Like more than other places. Would you disagree? Should we put it back on our list?

 

[FIREd]

Those California taxes sure are pesky little things I hear!
I noticed you mentioned you are atheist, so I assume you are saying it only in that you want to be in a place that you feel comfortable in. I have lived in the "Bible Belt" a few times and religion never seemed to come into play at all while I was there and I never went to church. I would think the humidity would drive you away more than religion, but that is only my personal experience. Maybe they just thought I was a lost cause and didn't try to persuade me

I never felt much religious pressure in the south either during the 15 years I lived there. And those California taxes are not little by any stretch of the imagination . They might go even higher in November.

 

[MichaelB]

This is an interesting thread and can be useful to members if we don't start discussing ideology and steer away from cultural stereotypes.

 

[W2R]

"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco" attributed to Samuel Clemens. Just had to sneak that in because I always liked that line.

Me too. I was SO cold when I lived there. It wasn't extremely cold, I guess, but the summers were never warm enough for me to feel like I had warmed up.

The reason I thought SF might be better than San Diego is that personally I really don't like San Diego. But 99% of people seem to love it, so you're right, it might be screaming for z-d-g.

 

[califdreamer]

I'm one of the 99% that love San Diego and I would agree with previous poster that it sounds like a great choice for you.

Another place to consider is San Luis Obispo, halfway between LA and SF in the Central Coast. Voted Happiest City in America or something like that. Scenic, mild climate and easygoing. Not near major airport but you can connect from SLO to LAX and Las Vegas.

 

[donheff]

Interesting you should say that, I had Santa Cruz on my short list until talking to someone who went to UCSC and then stuck around for a few years afterward. She was saying Santa Cruz is a pretty cool place to go to school, get high, surf, and hang out but that when it got time for her to "get serious" she found SC to be too laid back (whatever that means).

Except you (and we) are not at a point in our lives that we need to get serious. Quite the opposite, those laid back attitudes could be refreshing. Unless, of course, the only laid back people are college drop outs who never pursued their dreams and end up embittered in their 50s, while the hard working townies fume about... Oh, well, back to the search for a perfect place. In the meantime, I like my little island.

 

[MichaelB]

The Raieigh-Durham area deserves some consideration. The climate is milder than NY and it has a large population of upper income, well educated professionals that assure availability of upscale services, cultural attractions, healthcare and and education. Connecticut has some very nice areas, although the climate may be an issue. Other parts of New England are also attractive to a New Yorker. Likewise upper Westchester and Putnam counties.

Southern California is unique, no other area has its attributes (IMHO). Even though I'm not familiar with the PNW both Seattle and Portland appear to be quite cosmopolitan.

 

[BellBarbara]

I lived for many years in Marin county and Sonoma County. Yes California is not great now, but it's not to be beat. Marin is gorgeous, though housing is expensive. You can find a house in your price range, but depending on how much Sq footage you want, you may have to be San Rafael or Novato.

Other options are Petaluma - which has really come up in the world. Have you considered Santa Rosa? I like all of the Sonoma and Napa wine country towns, but they are small.

I do not care for So Cal due to the traffic. San Luis Obispo is nice, and San Diego is nice as well.

 

[BellBarbara]

BTW, I had a 900 square foot 2 bedroom/1bath condo in Marin county. I moved to the suburbs of Boston and got a 2500 square foot colonial in a town with great schools for the same price.

 

[BellBarbara]

Also how about some of the more upscale areas of the east bay of No Cal - like Orinda, Moraga, Lafayette. Not sure how much their prices have come down.

 

[z-d-g]

I lived for many years in Marin county and Sonoma County. Yes California is not great now, but it's not to be beat. Marin is gorgeous, though housing is expensive. You can find a house in your price range, but depending on how much Sq footage you want, you may have to be San Rafael or Novato.

In fact, we're going to see both Novato and San Rafael; but now you have me concerned. Why are the words "have to" in front of those? I just don't know the area. What's wrong with those places (feel free to DM me)?

Other options are Petaluma - which has really come up in the world. Have you considered Santa Rosa? I like all of the Sonoma and Napa wine country towns, but they are small.

Yep, Petaluma and Santa Rosa are both on our list now as of this afternoon.

For the NC posters, Raleigh-Durham and Chapel Hill would have been near the top of our list except for the weather. It appears from research that NC is basically just as humid as Texas; is that not your experience?

 

[haha]

In fact, we're going to see both Novato and San Rafael; but now you have me concerned. Why are the words "have to" in front of those? I just don't know the area. What's wrong with those places (feel free to DM me)?



Yep, Petaluma and Santa Rosa are both on our list now as of this afternoon.

For the NC posters, Raleigh-Durham and Chapel Hill would have been near the top of our list except for the weather. It appears from research that NC is basically just as humid as Texas; is that not your experience?

Well, it's quite a bit more humid than El Paso.

Ha

 

[Gumby]

I recommend the Connecticut shoreline. It is very attractive. Not too hot in the summer, not too cold in the winter. Ample places to eat and shop, as well as cultural attractions. And you can take the train into NYC if you want something more. Education is valued and there are many good schools, public and private. If you don't need to commute, you can look at areas east of New Haven.

 

[z-d-g]

Well, it's quite a bit more humid than El Paso.

Right. What I should have said was "Austin" instead of "Texas."

There is nothing that could make me move back to El Paso for any reason, so I don't consider it an option for the sake of this discussion.

 

[antmary]

Interesting you should say that, I had Santa Cruz on my short list until talking to someone who went to UCSC and then stuck around for a few years afterward. She was saying Santa Cruz is a pretty cool place to go to school, get high, surf, and hang out but that when it got time for her to "get serious" she found SC to be too laid back (whatever that means). She also said there tended to be a real us-vs-them attitude there between the natives and the transplants. Like more than other places. Would you disagree? Should we put it back on our list?

I think that if you have an open mind and heart, it is easy to fit in. It is my nature to be laid back because I make art - and that is part of my lifestyle. And, Santa Cruz certainly fits the bill; it would be among the top 5 on my list.

I am from CA, and I have found that some of my favorite people were from the Midwest and East Coast. They bring a sense of adventure with them; and, they seem to represent the best of wherever they came from. My best friend (from the 80's & 90's) came from New York City! Unfortunately, she passed away in 1993.

 

[wheel9]

Interesting you should say that, I had Santa Cruz on my short list until talking to someone who went to UCSC and then stuck around for a few years afterward. She was saying Santa Cruz is a pretty cool place to go to school, get high, surf, and hang out but that when it got time for her to "get serious" she found SC to be too laid back (whatever that means). She also said there tended to be a real us-vs-them attitude there between the natives and the transplants. Like more than other places. Would you disagree? Should we put it back on our list?

Santa Cruz should be on your short list. I am an ex-New Yorker, but got to Santa Cruz by moving around for jobs. It has great quality of life and a great Mediterranean climate. No A/C is needed and i haven't worn a winter coat in years. Housing is expensive, but your budget would work. There are good alternative schools here also.

It is a small (city is 50,000 population, and very liberal) but since it is a college town, there is a lot going on. It has a great downtown. It is close to San Jose (20 miles) and about 75 miles from San Francisco. For a small town it has good transit, that is well utilized, I used to manage it before my ER. My wife and I were looking for other locations to retire and we could never find anything to beat the area, especially since one of our kids lives in San Jose with our first grandson.

I have had some serious medical issues, and it is great to have access to Stanford Medical as wee as San Francisco medical resources which are first class. As someone else mentioned, California finances are in the crapper, and taxes are high, but I think we will be staying put. Feel free to ask any questions.

 

[JOHNNIE36]

Went back and reread your original post and looks like you would really like the SoCal area. I spent some time there as a visitor to my sisters house in Escondido. Maybe not as expensive as San Diego and the weather is beautiful. My sister said that if they ever retired and stayed in CA they would have to move a little inland to somewhere like Temecula. Just for lower housing prices.

 

[Ally]

My nephew had a terrible time being bullied in private and public school in Santa Fe. I couldn't recommend it for that reason.

My son lives in Kansas City, which I've found to be entirely different than I thought it would be before many visits. There are many great restaurants, cultural activities, great private schools, and housing prices are fair. There is lots of history in the area and the people are great. If we weren't happy where we are in Texas, I would definitely consider a move there.

 

[Katsmeow]

I think you have a difficult decision. It is obvious that southern California meets much of your criteria. However, I would have two problems with it.

1. Fiscal considerations in California that seem really unique to California and would not make me want to live in that state. It just seems very risky.

2. House prices. Want you want to spend on a house won't buy all that much in California compared to other places. A few years ago when we bought our house before our current house we bought it from a couple who had moved to Texas (where we were) from California. The Texas house was almost 4500 SF, had a guest house and two garages and over 2 acres. The house they had left in California was about 1/3 the size, with a postage stamp lot at almost twice the price. The seller was upset the entire time we were under contract because they were moving back to California and she wasn't happy at what she could find. Now, I realize many people do make the trade off and are willing to live in a much smaller, older house at a much higher price. But, the point is that it is a trade off.

 

[FUEGO]

For the NC posters, Raleigh-Durham and Chapel Hill would have been near the top of our list except for the weather. It appears from research that NC is basically just as humid as Texas; is that not your experience?

I don't have any relevant experience with TX, but I can say that the Triangle area gets humid during the summer. But NC summers aren't as long as TX summers from what I hear. End of June, all of July and August are usually the hottest, most humid months. But there are cool(er), dry spells even in those months. When it is 95 degrees and high humidity you don't go outside a lot in the middle of the day. But if you go out at 8 am it may only be 75 degrees. You adapt and deal with the couple months where it is uncomfortable in the middle of the day (by staying inside where it is air conditioned ). And even in the dead heat of summer, evenings are usually comfortable once the sun starts to dip low on the horizon.

The flip side is that winters are mild. I never wore my heavy coat this past winter for example. I think I scraped frost off my car windshield a few times but don't really remember.

Regarding religion, I don't want to say too much publicly, but I view it more as a cultural oddity here rather than being intrusive. It is omnipresent, but most people kind of do their own thing. Among people I know and associate with in Raleigh, I would say atheism or agnosticism or indifference to religion is more common than strong religious feelings. But my circle of friends and acquaintances are self selected. I can elaborate by PM regarding my thoughts on religion in the south if you are interested but don't really want to say more publicly on this forum.

 

[Nords]

In this order, we want a place that has/is:

1. A progressive K-8 or K-12 school for our daughter where children are respected and bullying is not tolerated (think Montessori or Waldorf). As I said above, we will not consider religious schools.
2. Has better weather than NYC (I know that's not saying much). We can tolerate a few snow days a year, but no more 6-months-of-winter. Also, we have no interest in hot, humid summers. Like I said, we lived in Texas for 33 years and I'm not signing up for 6-month-of-swamp-summer either. I'm not saying we need San Diego weather, just a place where it's basically between 45 and 85 most of the year without unbearable humidity.
3. Relative proximity to an airport with international flights would be nice, but not critical. Let's say we'd like to be at least within 90 minutes.
4. MUST have food and shopping selections beyond crappy national chain fast-ish food. If Outback Steahouse is the best restaurant in the city/town, we're not interested, thanks. We don't need hundreds of foodie joints, just 5-10 would be fine.
5. Housing can't be outrageously expensive (or we'd just stay in NYC). We can easily afford a house in the $500k-$750k range and could stretch that to $1.1m or so for a perfect house in a perfect city/town. We need at least a 3/2 with a garage and prefer a pool. We do not want a giant house like we used to have in Texas, something in the 2500-3000 sf range would be more than enough.

My goodness.

As at least one other poster has mentioned, this thread is setting up to be a "Yeah, but" thread. As in "Yeah, your answer makes sense, but..."

Instead of depending on the random kindness of Internet strangers, maybe you should start sorting databases. Somewhere on the Internet, or in the Montessori/Waldorf systems, there has to be a list of all the schools. Surely you can find a similar list for airports. Then you can work with the typical "Best 25 Cities" lists for climate and cost of living.

I was going to suggest Oahu until I realized there's an Outback in Waikiki. So never mind.

 

[unclemick]

My nephew had a terrible time being bullied in private and public school in Santa Fe. I couldn't recommend it for that reason.

My son lives in Kansas City, which I've found to be entirely different than I thought it would be before many visits. There are many great restaurants, cultural activities, great private schools, and housing prices are fair. There is lots of history in the area and the people are great. If we weren't happy where we are in Texas, I would definitely consider a move there.

Hush up now!

heh heh heh -

 

[lemming]

Funny, you described NYC as I think of it. I never saw the allure,of course to be honest, I was only there one time-fifty some years ago.

How about Fairfax county Virginia? NOVA -northern Virginia is not the south. Best schools in country, look up Thomas Jefferson HS for Sciences.
Lots of good restaurants, access to airport, cultural amenities.

Weather is mostly mild. We name our snowstorms. Humidity can be awful though.

 

[pb4uski]

Have you tried findyourspot.com?