The problem is I can't spend it, the guilt or whatever prevents me from doing it without feeling over anxious about how much I'm spending, and my wife isn't much better.
Could be for a new gas grill, I would normally just replace the burner in the old one, or a few thousand dollars for landscaping that I'd normally bust my butt trying to get it done for half that rather than pay someone even though it's getting to be too much for me physically.
And I tie myself in knots justifying it either way I go. If I fix the rusted out 10 year old grill I wonder why I would do that, I'll run an old set of tires one more race rather than spend money on a new set. I'll patch garden hoses rather than go buy a couple of new ones. I've repaired every appliance in our house at least once rather than buy new ones.
All that was done to reach where we are now.
But it's like; now that I won the game I don't know what to do.
Continuing to do as before causes us to question our sanity, enjoying the fruits of our labor causes anxiety.
Old habits die hard I suppose.
Right now I'm stressing about spending $400 on some new forged pistons for an engine "I'm" building (to cheap to pay a shop to build it) or I'll use some old cast pistons I have.
Absolutely stupid to put cast pistons in a race engine, but from my old broke days that's what I'd do and just limit the engine RPM's so she'd hold together.
"But, but, but... I might need that money for something else someday!"
It sounds as if you're using the money numbers to sort through the things that bring you value. You wouldn't normally try to win a race with crappy or unsafe parts or tires or fuel, but maybe winning at racing isn't as important as the satisfaction of building stuff to race. The trick is to find a way that lets you build more racing stuff (that you enjoy) without actually having to sweat the expenses of racing it (which is what lets you build more stuff).
Another thought would be that "doing it right the first time" is usually way cheaper than doing it over. You want to spend the money on higher-quality materials because you value your time & labor (and hassle, perhaps even safety) of doing it again.
My father-in-law, however, is just plain cheap. He'll buy the least-expensive water hose he can find, and then repair it a half-dozen times a year. By the time it's unusable (even by his standards) he's spent more money (and way more time) on it than if he'd bought a high-quality hose... and the high-quality hose would last three times as long.
He was the same way with a vehicle repair. If he'd taken it to the shop, they would've read the OBDII codes and fixed it right the first time before the end of the day for about $250. Instead he spent three weeks and $350 borrowing tools, trying to get various people to "help" with the labor (and breaking other parts), buying more tools, and guessing about which (non-returnable) parts to buy.
Of course both of those examples let him complain happily for years about how miserable he is.
Same standards with a gas BBQ (although I prefer charcoal). You could keep replacing the guts, but maybe it's worth a little more money to buy a higher-quality BBQ that will last longer with less maintenance and gut-replacing. Or maybe you enjoy rebuilding stuff, in which case you could resell rebuilt equipment on Craigslist or eBay. But if BBQing isn't a big deal in your life then you could buy a Weber charcoal kettle and get a decade or two out of it for about $75.
I just can't pull the trigger for stuff like that without feeling guilty.
Wife wants new curtains for the house, about a grand for all the windows. (cheap by some peoples standards) But the last time was 15 years ago and she shopped around for weeks and did the entire house for a couple hundred bucks. She just can't make herself order what she wants and be done with it. "It shouldn't cost that much", is her reply. She'll almost cry about it.
We're going through the same experience right now with cellular blinds on our bedroom windows. Another way to think of this experience would be to decide that they're different curtains. They're definitely not the same curtains she bought 15 years ago.
First she should consider 15 years of inflation. Between 1995 and 2010 inflation rose 45% (
Inflation Calculator: Bureau of Labor Statistics). In addition, the fabric she's buying is made from better materials that will offer more thermal protection and won't fade as much or as quickly. Next, there've been a lot of technological improvements in drapes even over the last 15 years. You'll notice that the mounting hardware is better and easier. Then she could take advantage of the shopping to either look for extremely high-quality construction. Finally she could wait for a sale or see if they'll take less for a huge cash order.
If it makes her feel better then she could skip the gold-threaded material, titanium curtain rods, and remote-controlled motorized cords that can be run on a timer or from a Web browser.
It sounds like she may be crossing the line from frugality to deprivation. Frugality makes you feel good about what you're doing, and just competing in the game (let alone winning it) is at least half of the fun. It could even be as simple as a great story about how she found the Craigslist deal or stalked a manufacturer's website for six months.
However deprivation is just misery and unfulfillment with no satisfaction. She can find that anytime she wants in Cuba or North Korea...
