Novel (unwanted) way to avoid retirement goodbyes

[Lisa99]

It's been one helluva week. I got laid off on Monday (I volunteered for it) and my dad passed away at 7 pm that night.

He's had Pulmonary Fibrosis for some time but he was doing ok. Sunday afternoon I got a call that he was in the hospital and wasn't expected to make it. I hopped on a plane to get from Vegas to Texas Sunday night and got to spend Sunday night with him while my mom went home to get some sleep. He wasn't able to talk but it was so good to get to spend the time with him

Monday morning my boss called to let me go (we didn't work in the same location). When I told him where I was and what I was doing I could tell he felt awful about about our conversation but I assured him it was ok.

Dad went downhill fast and passed that evening.

I'm honestly numb. My dad is the first parent I've lost and I was in the room as he was passing. While it was difficult to watch I'm so glad I was there. Now with the whirlwind of planning for the funeral and trying to get my separation stuff done AND find new health insurance I'm just about at my limit of coping (I thought I would have insurance until March but I lose it on January 22).

One thing is for sure, January 11, 2016 will forever be burned in my brain.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Sending a big hug to you. So sorry. Take care of yourself, Lisa.

 

[omni550]

Lisa,

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your Father. And to have it happen the same day as being laid off has got to be over-the-top stressful for you.

omni

 

[Walt34]

My sympathies for you in this awful situation.

 

[MRG]

So sorry to hear. Take care of yourself.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G920A using Early Retirement Forum mobile app

 

[REWahoo]

Lisa, that's really tough to deal with - stressful beyond reason.

You've been around here long enough for us old timers to get a feel for you, and my impression is you're going to come through this just fine - but the bruises will hurt for a long, long time. Take care...

 

[mystang52]

My condolences. May I suggest you write down all of the necessary things you need to get done. With the stress you are no doubt under, trying to keep all of the tasks in memory will make things that much more stressful.

 

[NW-Bound]

My condolences.

We were with my father when he died. It was the same with my father-in-law. They were not conscious for the couple of hours prior to their last breath, and were not talking long before that. Still, it was good for us to be there.

 

[Fedup]

Take care, it's awful, when it rains it pours.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

 

[irishgal]

So sorry to hear about your dad.
Although I'm sure it was hard being there when he passed - wow- we should all be so lucky to have someone we love there at that time.

Please take care of yourself. Often people feel "okay" but then realize they almost ran that red light or forgot to eat.

Irish.


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

 

[kaudrey]

My condolences to you and your family.

 

[Moemg]

So sorry to hear about your Dad . Losing a parent is awful .

 

[MBAustin]

Echoing the notes above, our sympathies are with you, and it's really important that you take care of yourself during this stressful time.

I was the one with each of my parents as they took their last breath. It's a powerful experience and my memories of both are still quite vivid (Dad was 9 years ago, Mom almost 2 years ago). Remember that he knew you were there even if he wasn't able to speak.

Blessings upon you and your family.

 

[Dash man]

My condolences for you and your family. I didn't make it to the bedsides of either of my parents before they died and never felt like I got to say a proper goodbye. I'm glad you made it in time.

 

[Accidental Retiree]

I am sorry to read this, Lisa. Take care of yourself.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

 

[Quest4Fire]

He knows you were there and that is something that you won't forget. Peace.


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

 

[Meadbh]

<<hugs>>

 

[aja8888]

My condolences. Take one day at a time.

 

[travelover]

Wow. So sorry for your loss.

 

[Teacher Terry]

So glad you were with your Dad. I got to be with mine too but not my Mom. I am so sorry. It is so very hard to lose a parent. I read once that losing the second is hardest then the first because you are no longer anyone's child. I was lucky enough to have my Mom another 17 years after my Dad passed so I hope you are as lucky to have your Mom for a long time. Be good to yourself.

 

[powerplay]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Take things easy and only focus on the things that must be done. You need time to deal with all that has come your way in such a short time.

 

[lhamo]

So sorry you are going through this.

I hope this doesn't seem too mundane to mention at such a time, but don't worry about the insurance. Worst case scenario, you have a 60 day window (I think it is from when your coverage ends, but may be from your termination date) to sign up for COBRA. You can sign up for COBRA retroactively if you develop a medical condition and need treatment during that period. And if you are in a state that has a health insurance exchange, you also have that same 60 day window to apply for coverage through the exchange.

 

[W2R]

Lisa, my condolences. I am so glad that you were able to spend some time with your father as his time drew near. You are strong and will get through this difficult time; things will get better.

 

[Ronstar]

My condolences, Lisa. You have a lot on your plate right now. Remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

 

[rodi]

I am so glad you were able to be there, and spend time with your dad at the end. I had that same experience, and it is priceless. I am so sorry for your loss. How is your mom holding up? Spend time with her and just try to breathe... The end of job stuff will still be there when next week...

A friend gave me very good advice when my mom died - she'd lost both parents and had gotten frustrated with people having expecations of how she was supposed to feel and/or show her feelings. Grieve in your own way - if it means crying, cry. If it means going into overdrive organizing affairs do that. Only YOU know how to deal with the loss and when to cry. Don't let others impose their expectations or judgements if you don't look sad enough, or too sad.