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View Poll Results: What is your current relationship.
Never Married 27 14.36%
Married 132 70.21%
Divorced 13 6.91%
Widow/Widower 5 2.66%
In a relationship 24 12.77%
Not in a relationship 16 8.51%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 188. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-11-2014, 04:36 PM   #61
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Illinois and Florida
Posts: 3,935
Best friends since 1942...Grammar school, Jr. High, High School and College.
Married after college in 1958.
Will be 56 married years on July 12 this year.

All 71 years have been very happy.

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Old 04-11-2014, 04:57 PM   #62
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Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 14,099
Originally Posted by aja8888 View Post
I've been everything in the poll except widowed. My ex passed away last year...does that count?
I guess that makes you an ex-widower.

I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
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Old 04-11-2014, 05:09 PM   #63
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Posts: 61
Married, but we keep separate finances and I'm (almost) fully in control of my own decisions re: investing and retirement. I'm not fully in control because we share most expenses 50/50 and there's some compromise involved. But the marriage is good so I don't mind.

In some ways I spend more money because I'm married (car ownership that I wouldn't choose) but in other ways I spend less to live in a better place (shared housing expenses) so it's pretty much a wash.

It wouldn't work for either of us to not retain financial autonomy. We have very different job types and will probably need to retire at different times. We also have very different ideas of how to invest our money. Neither of us would be happy if we had to agree about investment strategies.

Of course my strategy is the correct one.
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Old 04-11-2014, 05:32 PM   #64
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Location: Southern CA
Posts: 194
Originally Posted by 38Chevy454 View Post
I am married and I find it helps to have a spouse that has the same thinking and can be a voice of reason for discussion and decision making.
and we both hate to spend money.
Hard to say what it was, when it isn't.
FIRED in 2005 @ 55
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Old 04-11-2014, 05:35 PM   #65
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Posts: 1,010
Originally Posted by imoldernu View Post
Best friends since 1942...Grammar school, Jr. High, High School and College.
Married after college in 1958.
Will be 56 married years on July 12 this year.

All 71 years have been very happy.

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Old 04-12-2014, 08:03 AM   #66
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 877
Happily married for almost 31 years to my college sweetheart. She has similar goals as I, and while initial a little naive about money was willing to learn and work together for our financial goals, and was never extravagant. I can recall us having only one argument over money during our marriage, and that was for a vacation trip my MIL wanted to pay for us, but my stance was if we couldn't pay for it ourselves we would not be going (that was a very good decision in proving to MIL that she couldn't "buy" us).

DW's chosen field (academia), along with taking time off to be a stay-at-home mom when our kids were young meant she'd never achieve financially what I would be able to in my field (IT). But she saw how my financial decisions were family and long term oriented, and how I never used the "my money" statement.

I handle the finances and give her full access to them. She never paid close attention until friends of hers encountered financial difficulties or would fret about financial situations, and she would wonder how come I never expressed concern. The more she started seeing my plans, the more she wanted us to achieve FI and did whatever she could to help. Now that we have done that, she *really* wants me to retire.

Working together as a team has enabled us to reach this financial state. Sure, if I had not married and made the same income I would in theory have more money, but would I have been as disciplined with it? I can't answer that. I'm just glad DW and I are in a position where we still love and enjoy each other and are still healthy enough to enjoy FI and hopefully my soon to be RE.
Current target FIRE date: June 2017 or +50K to the portfolio, whichever comes first
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Old 04-12-2014, 08:38 AM   #67
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 994
DW and I will celebrate our 13th anniversary next month. Retired last year at 55/50 thanks to having similar mindsets and shared goals. Finances were merged from day one but I've always handled the checkbook and investments. She is capable but prefers letting me do all the work. I keep her updated on everything though and she could take over in short order if needed.

We've never argued over money but have argued a good deal about kids. She has two from a prior marriage and I have one. For those of you who regret not having kids, remember they aren't all angels and some can be a be a very real, ongoing pain in the a$$!
Wherever you go, there you are.
(In other words, no whining!)
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Old 04-12-2014, 12:13 PM   #68
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,164
I met DH in 11th grade in an algebra class.

I had a serious crush on a guy in my algebra class. We were both the top students so the teacher always paired us together for group work. I'm sure the teacher saw the sparks flying! After class we would meet in the library and do our homework together. His goofy friend always came along because the friend was failing the class and we would help him get through his homework.

My crush and I both got As and his goofy friend flunked the class. My crush moved on and I fell in love with the goofy, math challenged friend. He still makes me laugh.

We've been together for 42 years, married for almost 38. DH is very hands off when it comes to anything financial so it was always just me handling things. He trusted me and didn't want to know details although I'd keep him informed on the big picture. Since he retired in 2010 he's made an effort to at least listen when I talk about money even though he's still not comfortable handling any of it. He's very cooperative when it comes to doing things that help make his retirement successful.

We raised 2 sons on one income and both are adults and on their own.

Married, both 61. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
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