Titles and Formalities

[clifp]

Yes, and "sincerely" means you better believe it buddy.

I quit putting salutations on correspondence many years ago in my law practice. I saw a work out lawyer send demand lettesr that started "dear" and ended "yours truly" and the dissonance was a bit much.

A lawyer friend told me about a cease and desist letter his client got from Disney regarding an alleged trademarkviolation. The letterhead had cute pictures of several Disney characters and of course the Mouse Ear logo in a couple of places. It ended with a sincerely yours.

The body of the letter threatened legal dismemberment to the guy,his company and his extended family using the entire resources of Disney Corporation.
The dissonance was more than a bit much

 

[check6]

I have always been waaaay casual. The only time I become formal is when a doctor enters the examining room and introduces himself as "Doctor XXX." I stick out my hand, smile, and say, "Hi, I am Captain XXX." They usually catch the hint.

I always introduced myself to the passengers by say, "I am XXX XXXXX, the captain assigned to your flight."

I remember a story of a colorful NFL player going through a formal receiving line at a White House function I believe and coming upon Sandra Day O'Conner says, "Hi Sandy!"

 

[braumeister]

The only ones that I ever w*rked with (engineering) that were obsessed with titles were the Germans. Much to the amusement of the Brits and Americans, I might add.

This can indeed be greatly amusing. My favorite is the crowd (and I know a few of them) who insist on the full "Herr Doktor Professor" treatment, since only one of those titles would clearly be inadequate to acknowledge their magnificence. They can joke about it with me, but they do really insist on it in most situations.

As for me, I have never liked titles and don't use them. Once I retired, I haven't even bothered to use them for others. It really burns me up when I need to register on a website and they insist on making me use one of their salutations. In those cases, I always pick the most pretentious one available.

I was a fairly high ranking military officer, and I have a doctorate, but you would never under any circumstances see me letting anyone know about those titles. A short form of my first name is the only thing I let people call me.

 

[kumquat]

This can indeed be greatly amusing. My favorite is the crowd (and I know a few of them) who insist on the full "Herr Doktor Professor" treatment, since only one of those titles would clearly be inadequate to acknowledge their magnificence. They can joke about it with me, but they do really insist on it in most situations.

Even here in Canada we have some stupid titles. A friend was a judge of the Queen's Bench court. I don't know the US equivalent, but it is only outranked by the Court of Appeal and Canada's Supreme Court. All cases of any consequence are heard there.

One day when he entered the room (and this will give you and idea of how long ago it was) I said "here come de judge, oops that's Mr. Justice Smith". His response (using the sarcasm font) was "that's The Honourable Mr. Justice Smith". It was the proper title for his position.

Personally I ignore titles. If someone calls me Mr. Kumquat, I look around to see who's addressing my long deceased father. My doctor's name is Carl and my dentist is Don.

My former mega-corp was Canadian but has a large US presence (a few thousand employees). I noticed my US counterparts always addressed or referred to the executives as Mr. X. The Canadians always used first names only. Cultural thing I guess.

 

[Milton]

Thinking back, we would also address professors by saying "Professor Smith" as often as "Dr Smith". Or as Professor Smith if they didn't hold a doctorate.

Funny how customs vary from place to place. In the U.K., professorships are the senior academic rank and are relatively rare, 'chaired' positions: so anyone who has reached that grade usually wants to be called "Professor Smith". A mere Lecturer, Senior Lecturer or Reader would be addressed as "Dr. Jones".

And of course in England a surgeon is addressed as "Mr." and (if thin-skinned) would be mildly insulted to be called "Dr.": which would imply that he is a lowly GP.

I assume that we all have Debrett's Correct Form in our personal libraries, but for those who don't here is a summary: Forms of Address | The authoritative guide to Addressing People.

P.S. "I am a doctor and I want my sausages".

 

[IndependentlyPoor]

When I was in college, I never heard any professor addressed any other way than Dr. ____. Has that changed in the intervening 33 years?

OTOH, in the megacorp R&D lab I worked in it would have been considered just as gauche to address somebody as Dr. ____ as it would have been to drive a flashy car.

Funny though, correspondence from strangers was different. On the rare occasions that I received business letters from strangers, they would almost always be addressed to Dr. IP. I never knew if I should correct that error or not.

It turns out that many of our friends are professors at UT, but I can't imagine addressing them with anything other than their first names.

Calling Miss Manners...

 

[Gumby]

When I was a young naval officer, the men in my division all called me "Mr. Gumby" or "DCA" (which was my job title) and I called them all "Petty Officer _____". I knew all of their first names, and their nicknames, but I would never have called them by anything other than their rate and last name.

They were constantly trying to learn my first name. It was quite amusing. I recall one conversation that went like this:

"Mr. Gumby, what's your first name?"

-- "Lieutenant"

'Well, what does your wife call you?"

-- "Sir"

 

[clifp]

Somehow I doubt Mrs Gumby calls you sir, unless you are in big trouble.

 

[Nords]

... or "DCA"

You just gained an extra 50 sympathy/respect/hard-knocks points...

One of my XOs liked to personalize his training talks with examples of actual sailors & officers, but he didn't want to make people feel as if they were being made fun of or put on the spot. So his studiously protocol-correct and professionally formal, yet hapless, training examples were titled Petty Officer Schmuckatelli and Ensign Schmeckel.

When I first heard those terms I blew coffee a couple feet out of my nostrils. Apparently I was one of the few onboard who knew some Yiddish. Lucky for me they didn't rename the ensign.

 

[Milton]

In the Canadian navy, "Ordinary Seaman Bloggins" is the usual pseudonym.

The RAF has long relied upon Pilot Officer Prune as its bad example.

 

[HFWR]

My official title is "technical staff associate", aka "wafer bitch"...

 

[samclem]

Honorifics and titles cost nothing to use and I dispense them freely. I start out formally with people I don't know well. "Doctor" for professors and MDs. My daughter's elementary school teachers were "Miss Smith" even though they were 20 years my junior.
Police officers are "Officer Jones" unless I can read the rank. It's not sucking up, it's just an acknowledgment of the position of authority and responsibility occupied by the individual, and it sets the proper tone for whatever interaction we are about to have. Showing disrespect to cops doing a tough job demonstrates a lack of courtesy, a lack of self control, and a lack of any perception of what is in your real self-interest.
I never use my military rank (ret), and I don't mention my former rank socially or among business associates unless specifically asked. It's gauche.

 

[IndependentlyPoor]

Honorifics and titles cost nothing to use and I dispense them freely. I start out formally with people I don't know well. "Doctor" for professors and MDs. My daughter's elementary school teachers were "Miss Smith" even though they were 20 years my junior.
Police officers are "Officer Jones" unless I can read the rank. It's not sucking up, it's just an acknowledgment of the position of authority and responsibility occupied by the individual, and it sets the proper tone for whatever interaction we are about to have. Showing disrespect to cops doing a tough job demonstrates a lack of courtesy, a lack of self control, and a lack of any perception of what is in your real self-interest.
I never use my military rank (ret), and I don't mention my former rank socially or among business associates unless specifically asked. It's gauche.

Me too, except that I would like to see the accepted forms of address revert back to using military rank for commissioned officers, including retirees.

 

[Khan]

You just gained an extra 50 sympathy/respect/hard-knocks points...

One of my XOs liked to personalize his training talks with examples of actual sailors & officers, but he didn't want to make people feel as if they were being made fun of or put on the spot. So his studiously protocol-correct and professionally formal, yet hapless, training examples were titled Petty Officer Schmuckatelli and Ensign Schmeckel.

When I first heard those terms I blew coffee a couple feet out of my nostrils. Apparently I was one of the few onboard who knew some Yiddish. Lucky for me they didn't rename the ensign.

Excellent, Yiddish is cool.

 

[ls99]

One of my XOs liked to personalize his training talks with examples of actual sailors & officers, but he didn't want to make people feel as if they were being made fun of or put on the spot. So his studiously protocol-correct and professionally formal, yet hapless, training examples were titled Petty Officer Schmuckatelli and Ensign Schmeckel.

Oy vey!

 

[tmm99]

I have always been waaaay casual. The only time I become formal is when a doctor enters the examining room and introduces himself as "Doctor XXX." I stick out my hand, smile, and say, "Hi, I am Captain XXX." "

I love it!

 

[bssc]

I remember a story of a colorful NFL player going through a formal receiving line at a White House function I believe and coming upon Sandra Day O'Conner says, "Hi Sandy!"

I believe it was Mr. Riggins who said "loosen up Sandy baby" at the Washington Press Club's Salute to Congress black-tie dinner.

Growing up around the military, I always called my friends' parents, Col and Mrs. X (being an army command, they were almost always Cols.). Twenty five years laters, we are still friends with at least one pair of them. They would come over to game night and the like with other friends. I didn't pick up on it but they were introducing themselves as Jack and Jill to everyone else. When I was talking with some of them later, I was talking about did you see how Col X did that? They looked at me blankly until we made the connection that Col X is now just plain Jack. Old habits die hard.

 

[Nodak]

The best I ever saw was on messages directing leap second adjustments to our tracking system computer cesium beam clock. They came from a guy in Washington DC with the title of "Director of Time".

 

[ScottFromUtah]

The best I ever saw was on messages directing leap second adjustments to our tracking system computer cesium beam clock. They came from a guy in Washington DC with the title of "Director of Time".

. I would love that j*b title (but not the j*b).

 

[HFWR]

I have always been waaaay casual. The only time I become formal is when a doctor enters the examining room and introduces himself as "Doctor XXX." I stick out my hand, smile, and say, "Hi, I am Captain XXX."

Kirk? Crunch? Kangaroo?

 

[Emeritus]

As an academic lawyer married to a physician working with lots of PhDs I found the whole thing a hoot, especially when working in Germany where titles are a very serious business. Everyone in academia in the USA knows the difference between research and professional doctorates. My cards for Germany say "Prof. Dr Jur" As a matter of fact in a research university holding an earned full professorship is far more significant (and prestigious) than a Ph.D

 

[Keim]

I live in a college town. PhD's are a dime a dozen. I've rarely had one insist on being called Doctor. If they do, I let them know I have an MA. I can be referred to as Master Keim.

Takes care of the issue every time.