What did your Mom and Dad have to say?

[East Texas]

MIL thought it was a bit presumptuous to retire so early until spouse retired right after me. Then early retirement was OK.

The best part of my retiring at age 54 (besides naps, doing whatever whenever, etc.) was my older brother decided to retire when he turned 60. I think his retirement added a couple of decades to his longevity now that the stress and the traveling are over. His wife is certainly happier.

 

[Nords]

Not sure why you would care what your parents say? Or anyone else for that matter?

Parents can be more interfering and push a lot more buttons a lot faster than the rest of one's friends & acquaintances.

One shouldn't care. But the emotional triggers make that a lot more difficult than it seems.

I used to envy my spouse sometimes for having healthy parents who were still present in her life. Then I got to know them better and now I understand why she envies me for not having my parents in my life.

 

[freedom42]

Danmar, because I respect them, and their opinion duh!

 

[kcowan]

Not sure why you would care what your parents say? Or anyone else for that matter?

I think acceptance is something we all seek, sometimes unconsciously. It seems to be a part of living in society.

Nords, MIL was amazing, generally keeping her opinions to herself. She was fiercely independent though until the last 2 years.

 

[rescueme]

Danmar, because I respect them, and their opinion duh!

IMHO, it was a logical question.

Not all parents deserve respect (believe me). Just because they had a moment of passion that resulted in your "being", dosen't necessarily mean that they are worthy of respect, by you or anybody else.

I understand Danmar's comment.

If you feel satisfied with your relationship with your parents, good for you. Just remember that not everybody has this same situation, and the comments (including mine) on this thread are an indication of that reality.

 

[freedom42]

I'm well aware that not all parents are great. I've never suggested "everyone" should care what Mom and Pop had to say. Danmar doesn't realize that some people on earth have had good parents? I'll stand by my "duh".

 

[Danmar]

Danmar, because I respect them, and their opinion duh!

Sure but I find the question a little strange. Ie that you would still be looking for support for this decision given your obvious maturity. It is such a personal decision the only response that would make any sense is " Great, as long as you can afford it and that's what you want". Obviously not very useful if you are looking for some kind of justification. Maybe your parents are more interventionist than mine? Mine were great parents and I have a very close relationship still with my mother who is 86. But I wouldn't have asked for their opinion. They were very happy that I could afford to RE but did not offer an opinion on whether I should.

 

[Danmar]

I'm well aware that not all parents are great. I've never suggested "everyone" should care what Mom and Pop had to say. Danmar doesn't realize that some people on earth have had good parents? I'll stand by my "duh".

This response was not called for.

 

[misty57]

My parents didn't retire until age 65. My dad practically had to drag my mom into retirement kicking and screaming - not because she thought they needed the money; she liked the power/prestige of her job.

DH's dad retired from the military at age 52 and dabbled in insurance for a short while thereafter (a year or two). DH's goal has always been to retire at age 55 (next year). If he doesn't get laid off first, he may delay due to the uncertain economy and uncertainty about SS and Medicare.

I'm sure my mom thought he was nuts (for wanting to retire) until he was diagnosed with Crohn's. Life is short.

 

[freedom42]

This response was not called for.

Sorry for offending, you're right, but I thought yours was not called for. Maybe you read more into it than I meant. I didn't need their support, or anybody's, (except for spouse of course) I would have done it either way. At my age I hear alot of "what? you're crazy". It simply was a matter of thinking "hey that's pretty cool" when they thought it was a great idea, because I respect their opinion. that's it.

 

[edsahara]

I'd love to ask my father what he thinks of my early retirement plans. He planned on retiring when he reached 65. Unfortunately, he died 25 years ago when he was only 64. The fact that he worked all of his life and never lived to enjoy one day of retirement has always reminded me that no one knows how long they will live. Because of his early death, I've always thought that it's better to enjoy life along the way and retire early if you can.

All of the non-retired people on this forum, including me, worry about when to retire and how much they'll need. However, there is a group that we never hear from - those who worked hard all of their life and saved, but who passed away before they get the chance to retire, like my father. I'm pretty sure that if he could, my father would tell me to not take those retirement years as a given. If I have the plan and the wherewithal to retire early, do it.

 

[Alan]

However, there is a group that we never hear from - those who worked hard all of their life and saved, but who passed away before they get the chance to retire.....

Ghost writers?

 

[jeeper]

Dad, mom, spouse, and friends, all very supportive of my retirement two years ago at age 55. Must of seen something I didn't!

 

[Birchwood]

My mom died at 60 from cancer, and she was a workaholic. She made good money but never enjoyed most of what she made. My dad is 84 and spent the last 20 yrs goofing around.

A recent article showed that 40+% of retirees think there is less stress, and another 30+% have the same stress, the rest have more stress.

In the same article, most think they can control when they can retire, but only 30+% can actually do so, due to illness, layoffs, buyouts and other causes beyond their control.

I think I want to retire, when I am still able to enjoy other things than work. Time and health may be hard to ascertain.

 

[Nuiloa]

My mom and dad saved for years to go on an exotic vacation on their own (without all of us kids). For their 25th anniversary, they went to Hawaii (1974). In 1976, they went on a Caribbean cruise.

Dad always dreamed of going to Europe when he retired. In 1977 he developed throat cancer. He died of lung cancer in 1982, 18 days after he retired. He never made it to Europe.

He told me, before he died, to do it all while I still had the youth and the health to do it. I agree with him wholeheartedly.

 

[kaudrey]

I am in my early 40s, and have a while until retirement. However, my parents retired at 57 (17 years ago), and are very supportive of my FIRE plans. When my father retired, I was in my 20s, and I told him then that my goal was to "beat him to retirement" by 5 years, so at 52. My father reviewed my retirement spreadsheet when I was in my early thirties, helping to "reality-check" my assumptions and goals. My closest aunt, who is like a second mother to me, retired in her early 50s (at about the same time as my parents), and is also very supportive of my plans.

We are a small family of LBYMers, and are very close, so none of my plans surprise anyone!

 

[kcowan]

Sometimes I hope that mom and dad can see what I have accomplished. I guess we all try to please somebody sometime, even if it is a ghost!

 

[sn2792]

My Mom worked until she was 70. I think she only stopped working because the company she worked for closed her location. She was happy that she could spend more time with me. Unfortunately, she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer 3 months after I retired and passed away three months after her diagnosis. She was grateful I was retired so I could take her to radiation and chemo appointments. This would have been very difficult had I still been working.

My father passed away in 1996, long before I retired.

 

[pletal]

Getting ready to pull the plug in three years at fifty. Always respect mom and dads opinion. For me, wouldn't be able to pull it off without the work ethic they taught us kids when we were young. As they are getting older, they seem to be more for the idea of ER on my end. Hope they are still around when I have mor time to see them

 

[Lagniappe]

I just had the ER conversation with Mom. She retired at 60 with a small pension, then took early SS at 62, but wasn't sufficiently prepared financially. She has done several part time jobs since then, and told me over dinner that she wouldn't change a thing. Although it's been tougher than she thought, the "soul sucking job" was something better left behind. All the same, she thinks I should work a few more years, until I am at least 50.

 

[MBAustin]

Long story...My dad ER'd at 55 (selling his business after both of his DDs graduated college). I w*rked in Megacorps for 31 years (the first 25 years were great, then started downhill). After my dad died (Nov 2006), my mother pointed out that our conversations each week were more and more about my toxic w*rk environment. So I pulled the ER trigger last year. Now my mom says I "work" too much on my volunteer activities ;-) Bottom line - no issues with my mom (and for the record, my FIL is on board as well)