Why are so many people so concerned over how I spend my time?

[rockymountainhigh]

I still get that question occasionally, my stock answer is "anything I want".

+1

 

[Semiretired2008]

I seem to have had more free time when I was full time employed than I do now. My honey do list had gotten so large over the years that I am now trying to work on it and I figure I need about 5 more years to finally catch up and erase it - as long as nothing else gets added to it that is...

 

[truenorth418]

I have encountered some of this. Our culture is so goal oriented, and I feel like there is an expectation, especially among people steeped in the work force, that early retirement must be dedicated to some higher, grander purpose than just taking every day as it comes. I don't think a lot of people can get their heads around the fact that I worked hard and sacrificed enough for the privilege of doing nothing all day if that's what I feel like doing.

 

[Goonie]

I guess that I just hang around the wrong kind of people anymore. No one ever asks me how I use my time.......guess nobody gives a crap anymore! About the only questions I ever get asked are if I've come up with any new recipes, found any new recipes, tried any new restaurants, gone on any trips lately, or have any trips coming up. All questions that I'm more than happy answer and discuss with folks!!!

 

[redduck]

OK, Why are so many people so concerned over how I spend my time? Why do they expect me to be accountable to them?

I must admit that I am a bit amazed at how many people are now questioning me about the details about how I spend my time. While not technicaly retired, I have done my last day of work and am busy doing things about the house, catching up on my reading and socializing.

Have others experienced this phenomena? Questions like "What do you do all day?", "How long did it take you to do that?", What are you going to do next?", or, the worst one "Don't you get bored?"

I was not ready for this. I expected a few comments, but not this many and not so often. Or do I have so much idle time on my hands that I am imagining this.

Ah, Chuckanut, perhaps these people with their questions aren't concerned at all about how you spend your time. I know I'm not. No concerns at all. Actually, we have a thread here "What Did You Do Today?" which has 10,798 replies (and, counting). I can't imagine the not-yet-retired people who have been reading the "What Did You Do Today?" thread are judging those who have. I know I enjoy hearing what other people are doing once they are retired. And, I like hearing what other people plan/hope/wish to do once they retire. So, Chuckanut, EXACTLY what did you do today?

 

[easysurfer]

Welcome to the club.

When folks start questioning your time and ask don't you get bored, you know you are retired.

My best response usually is "It's not boring at all, every day is a Saturday."

Recently, my response is "There still isn't enough time. It's amazing how fun it is just putzing the day away."

 

[Midpack]

I seem to have had more free time when I was full time employed than I do now. My honey do list had gotten so large over the years that I am now trying to work on it and I figure I need about 5 more years to finally catch up and erase it - as long as nothing else gets added to it that is...

My Mom has had this on her desk for years (must be true, she's 90)

I was put on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind I will never die.-- Calvin (& Hobbes)

 

[sunnysideup]

I am not yet retired, but I have several friends who know I am planning for it, and planning for it prior to age 60. One, who doesn't have much in the way of hobbies, doesn't understand why I would retire so early. She asks what would I do with all the time and makes comments about how her older relatives' minds went downhill after they stopped working.

I think that some people seriously think of retirement as getting old and decrepit. Clearly the people on this board, whether retired or not, think of it as freedom to do whatever they want, and have plenty to keep them busy and fulfilled.

So, Chuckanut, the question is not a reflection on you but as the old saying goes, "consider the source". I wouldn't take it personally.

 

[Amethyst]

As opposed to the decrepit-minded people who are still in the workplace, no doubt! Ever heard the phrase "retired in place"? Everybody goes downhill as they age - just at different paces.

And Chuckanut, what you are really asking, I suspect, is "Why are some people so darn nosey?" Some people will ask anything that comes into their trite little minds. Advice columnists, after all, are forever publishing letters from desperate, infertile couples who keep getting asked, "So, why don't you have kids yet?"

Amethyst

her older relatives' minds went downhill after they stopped working.

 

[haha]

And Chuckanut, what you are really asking, I suspect, is "Why are some people so darn nosey?"
Amethyst

People are naturally and IMO rightfully curious about the people in their environment. It pays to know what working age males are doing when they are walking around in the day. I want to know as much as I can about the people in my environment, and they want to know about me.

It would be a real stretch to call me trite. However, various other prejoratives might fit well enough.

Ha

 

[Notmuchlonger]

It bothered me at first. Then I realized what a great conversation topic it was. Realizing it is not normal being an early retiree. I just have fun with it now and enjoy the various banter with folks. I get a chuckle out of the ladies who cut my hair.


Sometimes I'm unemployed other times I'm retired. Depends on the person asking

 

[obgyn65]

Why are so many people so concerned over how I spend my time?

And why do some many people think they have to answer such a nosey question in great details ? I would not even bother.

 

[Midpack]

Why are so many people so concerned over how I spend my time?

And why do some many people think they have to answer such a nosey question in great details ? I would not even bother.

There are plenty of well intended reasons they could be asking that have nothing to do with being nosey, as many earlier posts discussed. The issue can be with the retiree and not the person asking a simple question...

 

[Alan]

My Mom has had this on her desk for years (must be true, she's 90)

I was put on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind I will never die.-- Calvin (& Hobbes)

Another favorite of mine relative to this thread was

Calvin: "I don't have anything to do".
Mother: "Well then, why don't you go clean your room?"
Calvin: "I was bragging"

 

[rodi]

Some of it may be just the usual conversation starter type stuff to show interest in the other person (in this case Chuckanut).

I get "How's work?" all the time from folks I haven't talked to recently.
My son's get "How's school?"
And it's not uncommon for me to ask "How are things going? Doing anything interesting?"

If you want the person to stop asking - start answering the question in great detail. Minute by minute, blow by blow, including personal hygiene stuff (brushed my teeth). That tends to stop future questions.

 

[rescueme]

Minute by minute, blow by blow, including personal hygiene stuff (brushed my teeth). That tends to stop future questions.

I thought that was the idea of Facebook?

 

[Danmar]

Got this question more when I first retired. Now when I get it and tell them, the response is usually "wow, you are living a great life, congrats". This makes me feel good and reminds me again how lucky I am.

 

[Midpack]

This thread has probably run its course, but is asking an early retiree 'how they spend their time' any more intrusive (or insert your word of choice) than asking someone 'what do you do for a living?' I didn't (and still don't) ask others, but it seems like a very common question when meeting a stranger, and it's often just something to start a conversation with. Beats talking about the weather or sports, the most tiresome go to's for men at least...

 

[haha]

I was on a bus today. A couple next to me were looking at a map given out by the downtown tourist assoc. They were obviously lost, but I didn't know the area so I kept quiet. Then an attractive young woman across from us asked them where they were going. The woman tourist held out a note with an address, and the helpful woman said- oh, get off next stop, and walk back south, you have already missed your address. After the tourists had left, she said to us that she had read the address from across the aisle and knew they were lost.

Later I was looking around, not sure where my stop was, and a middle aged woman next to me asked me where I was going. I told her, and she said that's the next stop. There are many helpful nice people around, and most of what they say is meant to help.

People are welcome to talk to me, unless they say "give me your money!"

Ha

 

[NW-Bound]

Sometimes I feel like talking, sometimes I don't. Still, when people ask me something, I try to interpret that as they are making a conversation, or if they are a friend or an acquaintance, perhaps they have a genuine interest.

People are welcome to talk to me, unless they say "give me your money!"
Ha

+1

 

[Amethyst]

Thought Chuckanut was being bothered by people who seemed to expect him to be accountable to them. Absent Chuckanut's reporting an actual exchange that has miffed him, we can't really know what the askers are saying that goes beyond normal conversation-starting.

A.

Some of it may be just the usual conversation starter type stuff to show interest in the other person (in this case Chuckanut).

I get "How's work?" all the time from folks I haven't talked to recently.
My son's get "How's school?"
And it's not uncommon for me to ask "How are things going? Doing anything interesting?"

I

 

[Ksols]

It's like the Silverado commercial playing now

So, what do you do?
I love it, how can you put into words...

 

[Nords]

OK, Why are so many people so concerned over how I spend my time? Why do they expect me to be accountable to them?
Have others experienced this phenomena? Questions like "What do you do all day?", "How long did it take you to do that?", What are you going to do next?", or, the worst one "Don't you get bored?"
I was not ready for this. I expected a few comments, but not this many and not so often. Or do I have so much idle time on my hands that I am imagining this.

It's hell, but it beats the alternative of going back to work.

I have an opposite problem. When I go to taekwondo or surfing (two places where nobody talks about work) I don't get "Howzit?". Instead I get "How's your daughter doing?"

I was kvetching about this to my daughter the other day and she said "Dad, whenever I go back to school I have to listen to my classmates for weeks asking me "How's your Dad doing?" She feels obligated to read my blog just so that she can answer the questions when her classmates ask her about a post.

So in conclusion... life is good.

 

[easysurfer]

I'm sure Michael Phelps, recently FIRE'd from the olympics will be getting really used to folks soon asking him "Does he get bored and how he spends all the new found time"

 

[BizzyC]

I can tell you that if it was me asking, it would be for the strict purpose of trying to live vicariously through you!!

I'd be trying to step inside your skin to fully contemplate the full deliciousness of absolute freedom!