Why it's hard to retire

[bclover]

So I can't say that I worked toward retirement, when I first began my career with mega corp I actually like it. unfortunately over the course of 25 years things changed and I was made painfully aware that I was just a minion, easily replaceable and not highly valued.

Then between 2012 and 2014 I lost 3 loved ones all under the age of 55 (husband, baby brother and best friend). all suddenly. Hubby took me to vegas for New years, he was gone by that October. Huge wake up call that time is a huge commodity I no longer wanted to waste.

My biggest challenge has been mental. I've worked since I was 16, so not getting a regular paycheck was/is still scary.

One thing I am enjoying is trying all the things I kept putting off. Learning French, researching starting my own blog, working p/t in a bakery so boredom is definitely not an issue. I'm also less than one year retired so I'm still getting used to it but so far, I'm loving it

 

[Turn_the_Page]

Your list really summed it up for me, sitting here 13 days after pulling the plug. The vivid dreams about work are really a surprise. Still adjusting and I expect that to take quite awhile.

 

[gerntz]

6. I think I might want a really expensive car although I know they are a total waste of money

Is a vacation a waste of money? Is entertainment a waste of money? Will you enjoy the car? Me, I bought the most expensive, high end car I've ever owned since I retired & I enjoy it every time I get in it, even look at it. Net, I don't find it a waste at all.

 

[jcretire77]

12 days into retirement. So far feels like a very long weekend. Was I 100% sure when we jumped, no, but yesterday I worked out, finished one book, read another and started another, went to a potluck to be with a friend who had survived a horrible car accident. It was a pretty darn nice Monday.

 

[Cap_Scarlet]

Thanks all for your insights.

Firstly, its good to see that I'm not alone.

Secondly, i am envious of all those people who either had full conviction in their desire to retire or who actually have taken the leap and are enjoying it!

I would say that I have thought about retirement every day since about 2010. At that point I really had no idea how much we were spending and no idea about how much on a next egg we might need. We're not particularly worried about withdrawal rates as we will have sufficient income from pensions from age 60 to meet our needs. That does not mean to say that we are completely money worry free, of course its very difficult to make the transition from accumulation to reduction of our pot but FWIW I reckon we will use somewhere between 3-4% annually.

Part of the problem I have with work is that there are aspects of it that I really like - its challenging, international travel is interesting and I get paid really a lot of money. But there are some things I just hate, late nights, being disturbed at weekends, the constant corporate bullshit etc.

To some extent its my own fault as I've got myself somewhat painted into a corner whereby I have been doing the same role for the last 8 year. Its not a defined leadership position in the organizational structure and therefore nobody else really wants to do it. They know I am good at it so they don't want me to stop but they also have made no effort to promote me which....and I am honest enough to know this....probably means that my face won't fit into a true leadership role. I've been up for some very senior positions and seem to have made the last two but never got the final nod.

For that reason part of me thinks F*ck 'em. but the other part of me knows that it gradually eats away at me and then I think well...if they are prepared to pay me a deep six figure salary i can't be that bad.

So potentially the transition to not working scares me a bit. Not really because I think i will be bored but because work has been such a bit part of life that it will take a long time to simply switch off. We actually took a three month sabbatical in 2014 and went off travelling - that was supposed to be the precursor to retirement but for some reason I just never pulled the plug. Good thing was I think that was the real me. I grew a beard. first time in my life. and it looked good.

The challenge is, now is the right time to go - there's nothing holding us back but I want to structure it in such a way that I don't leave under a cloud (after 20 years with the same company that would be nice) and I potentially leave on financial terms that gives me a nice send off and potential door open to a future consulting gig.

Sorry for rambling....its very therapeutic

 

[Dash man]

No better place to ramble than here.


Enjoying life!

 

[FinanceGeek]

bclover, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain you have gone through losing your DH.

I'm very much an OMY'er.

I think being FI is more important than actually RE. Work is mostly OK, I am adding a lot of value, it pays well, and keeps me engaged mentally. I've worked since I was 16, and its my default programming to continue to do so as long as all of the above 4 criteria are met.

Jumping out of a perfectly good airplane is really hard, its sufficient for me to have built high confidence that I could.

 

[CaliKid]

For me I keep working for the money to really put myself over the top of what I feel is needed but also to button every last detail up. I am a business owner and have responsibility to customers, co-owners and employees. I can't just walk away. My retirement wrap up could take a few years but will involve less and less work.

 

[RAE]

Some of us eagerly looked forward to it with no trepidation at all.

We planned for it, we clearly envisioned what it would be like, and we leaped at it at the first opportunity.

We have never regretted it an iota.

+1. I may be in the minority (along with Braumeister), but I really had no trepidation about retirement at all. I had anticipated it, and planned for it, for so long, that when the time finally arrived, there was no hesitation, and I have not looked back at all. I had a good career, and mostly enjoyed my job (until near the end), but after 31 years, I was more than ready to move on to another chapter. I think it is really important to seperate your career from your identity - I see lots of folks that have problems doing that.

 

[ugeauxgirl]

I didn't know this website existed till several months ago- its so nice to get advice from and just bounce things off of people who have already done this- I don't know anyone personally who has retired as early as I want to. Its also wonderful to talk to people who LOVE being retired- everyone I talked to said I'd be bored- glad to know that no one here is- makes me feel like I probably won't be either.

 

[Scuba]

I too have always wanted to retire young, but when it actually began to pencil out as doable a few years ago, I was scared to do it. Partly fear of no more paychecks and partly fear of getting bored as I am a "type A" personality. A few retired friends told me I would know when I'm ready. They were right! The certainty I feel now is very clear, and I'm confident I will love being retired. Plus my fear of running short of money was somewhat irrational, while my fear of running out of time happens to people every day. You will know when you're ready. Listen to your gut.


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

 

[mystang52]

When you pull your hand out of a bucket of water, does it leave a hole?

That's your value to your employer. So don't spend too much time worrying about your w*rk-related questions.

_B

This may be the best quote I have EVER seen, and is right on the money. I was laid off from my next-to-last j*b, in a grotesquely unfair way, for political reasons (not that I'm bitter or anything ). I heard from several former co-workers there was considerable protest and consternation from the rank and file. That probably lasted one day, at most. Strangely, in the 6+ years since, the company has managed to thrive without me.
When I ultimately ER'd on my own terms, I never looked back. And I don't dwell on whatever contributions to the corporate world I may or may not have made.

 

[HFWR]

Some of us eagerly looked forward to it with no trepidation at all.



We planned for it, we clearly envisioned what it would be like, and we leaped at it at the first opportunity.



We have never regretted it an iota.

This ^^^

 

[Freedom56]

I retired last year at the age of 55. It was the best move I ever made. It was hard adjusting initially. Every day felt like it was Saturday. Now I'm about 14 months into my retirement and could not be happier. I went to my high school re-union this past labor day weekend and met many others in my class that retired at 55 and all are happier than ever. We keep busy with projects around the house, travel, hobbies and entertaining.

 

[Tekward]

I've been easing into RE. This year I'll consult ~32 weeks. I still get approached about going in-house full time but they can't match 20 weeks of vacation. My income is up, stress is down and I only do the w*rk I like with the good clients. My goal next year is 50/50.

 

[RioIndy]

...i have seen colleagues die and after a couple of days mourning, someone is in their office and the world has moved on.

Ask yourself if the Company is planning to erect a full size bronze statue of you to place in front of the main office to remind all who enter the building of your accomplishments over your illustrious career.

Quoted for being particularly useful for perspective.

 

[HFWR]

Ask yourself if the Company is planning to erect a full size bronze statue of you to place in front of the main office to remind all who enter the building of your accomplishments over your illustrious career.

I heard that it was considered by corporate, but that they chose to reserve the giant dildo statue for the current CEO...

 

[Cap_Scarlet]

I am reconciled to the fact that the corporation does not really care about any one individual as there are always other people in line (our organization has around 230,000 people so there's ALWAYS someone).

I have only seen a very small number of people stay past 56 (I am 52) as that's the qualifying date for the early retirement package (essentially a years salary for free). My intention is to try and bargain for it. They may say no but I hope to position such that my long term loyalty can be bought i.e. I will not go and work for the competition.

Am I trying to play the game?....yes, a little bit so for the next few weeks I need to be a good boy.

So here's my therapy:

1. I will miss some of the people.
2. I will miss the interesting international projects.
3. I will miss flying business class (and occasionally getting upgraded to first)
4. I will miss developing new things
5. I will miss training people

I will not miss

1. Late nights
2. Endlessly increasing targets
3. Corporate rah rah
4. Constant change (new this, new that)
5. Ratings and assessments

I have told them that I am thinking about leavings (I'm FI so I don't really care anymore) and they asked me to "name my ideal job"...and you know what, I actually find that quite hard. But let me ask you this...what would you say if your employer asked you that?

 

[spirit]

For the last couple of years....my employer asked me what my dream job was in a standard form letter. And I kept replying what I did this year....I am working my dream job. .My job changes a bit each year...just enough to make it interesting. But the only reason each year is so good........I only work 1/2 time. I go to half the meetings, I get half the work load, I get to sleep in and work in the afternoons.....and I get half the bulls___.

I get to work with the half of the people and they are mostly the ones I like.....the only downside is.....I get half the paycheck. But to me, I have just enough time to enjoy my profession and enough down time I am not exhausted at year end. For this year, it is worth it......at 65 maybe it is time to move onto another life...but for now it is one year at a time and I am lucky my employer values my contribution....

 

[Ronstar]

As I've been contemplating retirement the last few months I've come to the conclusion that there are the following factors in play.

1. I've spent my whole life aiming for something, working at a career, is it really over?

2. I feel as if I add value at work, but....

3. I feel frustrated that we can all see the inefficiency in the organization, and...

4. i have seen colleagues die and after a couple of days mourning, someone is in their office and the world has moved on.

5. Will I be bored in retirement?

6. I think I might want a really expensive car although I know they are a total waste of money

7. What happens if 12 months down the road I realize its a mistake, but..

8. I want the freedom to just be.....lazy

The prioritization of the above tends to change on a daily basis, so please either:

A. Tell me you felt the same things (and how you got over them).
B. Add your own insecurities

1. Career could be over, but that's ok. Time to move on to something else.
2. Did add some value at work, Time to add value on a personal level.
3. Have no control over inefficiency at work - leave the frustration behind.
4. Work colleagues die - more of a signal to retire to enjoy life.
5. Bored in retirement? Really? Not if you have personal interests that are more fun than work.
6. If you want an expensive car and can afford it - buy it!
7. If you realize you made a mistake 12 months down the road, you could go back to work.
8. Retirement is made for being lazy.

 

[FreeBear]

After retirement I value my personal freedom more than ever.

Nothing money can buy is worth more than my independence.

.

.

I no longer think "I can always go back to work." I now think "I can always sell my house and move to a LCOL area." The money has become progressively less important to me and my freedom has become more important. Freedom to do something or nothing as I see fit. Then again I have realized that I can be quite happy doing nothing!

+1

Oh Yes, Oh Yes!!

 

[FreeBear]

+1. I may be in the minority (along with Braumeister), but I really had no trepidation about retirement at all. I had anticipated it, and planned for it, for so long, that when the time finally arrived, there was no hesitation, and I have not looked back at all. I had a good career, and mostly enjoyed my job (until near the end), but after 31 years, I was more than ready to move on to another chapter. I think it is really important to seperate your career from your identity - I see lots of folks that have problems doing that.

+1

You're not alone! In my early 30's, I had loosely started planning and saving for ER sometime in my to mid 50's. I just knew deep down that I wasn't a "company man." Although I enjoyed the technical work, the politics grew more painful with time. Most importantly, I saw that folks put too much faith in the company and the work world in general to secure their own futures. I wasn't going to be one of those guys kicked out into the cold in my 50's without anywhere to go...

Well, I saved and had some good luck, then found myself FIRED much earlier than expected at 45. Both DW and I are ready to move own. Almost 2 years into FIRE, our new life is coming into focus. Even though most of us are used to delayed gratification, I've found that learning to ENJOY the good stuff takes time too.

FB

 

[skipro33]

Been retired 3 years and had several of the concerns you had. It seems so silly now. Intellectually I had planned for what my retirement might be. The reality of it surpassed my expectations. Hardly a day goes by where I, in awe of it all, say to either myself or my wife, I love our life. I never felt that intensity about work. If I had, they wouldn't have had to pay me.

I'll tell you this too;
I seriously doubt the people you work with and call friends will even try to contact you after you retire. I made attempts to get together with some of my co-workers who I considered friends. The relationship had been built on mutual need and a limited exposure to who you can choose as a friend.
After I retired, I made what I call real friends. People who don't expect anything from me other than my company. People who don't care if I'm lazy, late, etc. Friendships based only on personality compatibility. People who want to spend time with you, not people who have to be paid to spend time with you.
Also, I don't remember hardly anyone's name after 3+ years of retirement. No more than I remember the names of the men I served in the military with. A few names, but mostly no, I recall their faces but putting a name to 'em has faded.

I guess I spend too much time with grand kids and my social circle and the co-workers from years ago just don't matter enough to even remember their names any more.

 

[brucethebroker]

I guess the two most important questions are #5, and #7 (assuming you can afford to retire at this time).
"Bored" will most likely take care of itself (see your #8). #7 can be "fixed" by taking another job...part time?....expand a hobby?....pursue a "dream job".

When you don't really need the money (of a former occupation) you are free to find a "job" that you enjoy, with earning money as a secondary concern. Perhaps after a period of "decompression" (12 months?) you will want to work at something less time restrictive or stressful. Or maybe volunteer.

Pull the trigger!! (Keep #4 in mind.)

 

[ugeauxgirl]

I have told them that I am thinking about leavings (I'm FI so I don't really care anymore) and they asked me to "name my ideal job"...and you know what, I actually find that quite hard. But let me ask you this...what would you say if your employer asked you that?

That depends on what you want to happen. Do you want a 6 month sabbatical so you can think on it some more? Part time work from home? Another job in the company? They are obviously reluctant to let you go, which is a nice position to be in.

My company is not the same- there is nowhere else for them to move me (that I would consider going). I have lessened my hours which has improved my attitude dramatically. I'd have quit already if I hadn't been able to do that. But I'm still leaving on my target date. I plan on offering them some time to replace me, but if they don't I'm ok with that too