Advice for Depressed Retiree?

[SingleMomDreamer]

I was out for "happy hour" with my colleagues a couple of nights ago. One of our former colleagues dropped by to join the festivities. He looked terrible. Put on maybe 100 pounds since he retired 2 years ago. Took some kidding from a colleague and I thought he would cry. I'm looking to retire early in 10 years if the stock market rebounds, but he's in his early 60s, money doesn't seem to be an issue, but he's totally depressed and lost in this stage of his life. Any advice? Are there any books that would be helpful to him? It's pretty sad to see him in this condition.

 

[haha]

I was out for "happy hour" with my colleagues a couple of nights ago. One of our former colleagues dropped by to join the festivities. He looked terrible. Put on maybe 100 pounds since he retired 2 years ago. Took some kidding from a colleague and I thought he would cry. I'm looking to retire early in 10 years if the stock market rebounds, but he's in his early 60s, money doesn't seem to be an issue, but he's totally depressed and lost in this stage of his life. Any advice? Are there any books that would be helpful to him? It's pretty sad to see him in this condition.

This sounds a little heavy for third hand, sight unseen advice from an anonymous internet board.

Sometimes it really is best to spend a few bucks and get some real help.

Ha

 

[JPatrick]

Time for a trip to the doc. Could be many things, a good friend of mine solved his by correcting a vitamin deficiency.
Point is, depression is not something a squad of cheerleaders can generally fix, although, I've left instructions to try anyway should I become depressed

 

[BunsGettingFirm]

I'm sorry to hear that. Prior to signing up with this board, the only retired people I knew were my grandma and a guy I briefly met in the cycling club. The guy in the cycling complained about being bored out of his mind despite finally having all the time in the world to ride his bike, read books, and hang out at downtown cafes, all the things that he enjoyed before retirement. It turned out he liked all of these activities but just not for 8 hours a day, and now that his hobbies had been turned into his job, he had no hobbies for the other 8 hours he was awake.

 

[Moemg]

If I even gained 10 pounds I 'd be soooo depressed but seriously this guy needs help . Maybe other things are going on in his life besides retirement .

 

[kat]

I have a close relative whose issues with depression and mania (seasonal affective disorder) were not obvious to those of us around him until after he retired and lost the structure and satisfaction of going to the office. Suddenly it was all right there to see.

He found great help in simply visiting his internist and treating it appropriately.

Apparently this is not unusual. Major life transitions can be difficult.

 

[jambo101]

Is he depressed or just bored and how do you tell the difference?Obviously putting on 100lbs means he isnt doing anything but watching tv.

 

[Dawg52]

If I didn't have golf, I would be bored and/or depressed. It's very important to have a passion for something. He probably does need some professional advice, but I would guess if he could find some enjoyable hobby, volunteer or part time work......that might go along way into making him a happier person.

 

[jug]

He has to go to a shrink first, and a med doc. Perhaps he was depressed all of his life, and you just didn't know it. Many factors come into play.

Gaining 100 pounds indicates something in the mind usually once other unlikely stuff is ruled out. Many factors unseen to your eye can be at work here. The mind is extremely powerful.

I know first hand, I've been treated for severe depression most of my life, was depressed for 20 years without even knowing what was wrong with me. The mind is very powerful, that is one thing I can say first hand, it can trigger all sorts of symptoms and beliefs.

jug

 

[maddythebeagle]

Is he depressed or just bored and how do you tell the difference?Obviously putting on 100lbs means he isnt doing anything but watching tv.

I dont think you put on 100 pounds just watching TV...Sounds like some serious emotional overeating......I am sure something else is bothering him and probably could use some counseling...

 

[Amethyst]

One thing he needs for sure, is at least one friend who won't force him to take "kidding." Why people think it's fun to pick on others who are obviously suffering, is beyond me.

Amethyst

 

[freebird5825]

A kind word from you expressing your concern and the business card of a counselor might help immensely. Sometimes all it takes is knowing that someone cares.
The weight gain could be from anything from steroids (for medical reasons) to binge and/or chronic overeating to fill the hours.

 

[CuppaJoe]

Most people who knew me from work don’t know my medical conditions and the fact that I developed a mobility problem when I retired at age 61. I doubt that I would mention that at happy hour. I get out and walk as much as I can but it may be a challenge not to put on weight over the next two years. Have to agree with Ha Ha that an internet board will know even less.

OP, how do you know he’s “totally depressed”? How well do you know him if it’s been two years since you’ve seen him. “Dropping by” indicates he wasn’t invited? Awkward? Honestly, if you saw me at happy hour, you might think something like that, I’ve never enjoyed those kinds of events, not my thing. At six months into retirement I’m not depressed at all but who would know that from a brief encounter.

What kind of relationship will you have to deliver books to him?

 

[Nords]

One thing he needs for sure, is at least one friend who won't force him to take "kidding." Why people think it's fun to pick on others who are obviously suffering, is beyond me.

It's the way we guys say "I love you, man...", especially if it's followed by a punch on the shoulder or a noogie.

Because otherwise that would seem so trite & juvenile.