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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-12-2007, 05:30 AM   #21
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

Ihamo, I went through similar feelings when I left my job a few weeks ago. I was recruited to the company to tackle a big project and had worked four years on it. My team of five won an award after the first year. As the time went by, my direct boss, who almost seemed resentful at the attention my team got became more and more petty.
I finally had enough and gave two weeks notice.
I got several calls from those who were higher up in the organization, they were stunned I was leaving. I explained that the financial rewards were not there for my team ( we were told we were highly compensated and they could not justify raises) and that coming to work every day and not being told you were doing a good job was not on my agenda. I knew we were doing a good job but the layers of review by superiors had become thicker and in order to justify their jobs they had to find things we should "correct". Like not having a field on one computer screen filled out, one of the team members was told her grammar could improve. Petty complaints when we had straightened out a big mess and saved the company millions.
I am not sure I would have taken the last step off the cliff if I had not been treated poorly, but I am sure glad now. I was FI but for me it was more than that, I had to be emotionally ready. I have not looked back and I know I made the right decision.

It only took a few days for the realization and Glee to set in. Much of my identity was tied up in my job. Now I am forging my new life, consulting my life list and doing exactly what I want for the first time in my life, no job, no kids and many years ahead of me.
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-13-2007, 09:06 AM   #22
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

I suppose you mean not cheering and jumping for joy. Free at last, Free at last. That sort of emotion? It will be hard to contain it indeed.


Let's face it. What are you going to miss? The people, being hooked to the plow, or the paycheck? It is likely to be the social aspect (friends). The plow is likely to be the lowest of the three. And the paycheck... well you would not be retiring if you needed (unless you were downsized or forced out).
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-13-2007, 04:29 PM   #23
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job


I always say that my job gets in the way of my life! I have made sure that I have a lot of alternate activities and friends outside of work that will ensure a smooth transition to retirement.
I also have an open relationship with my boss who knows that my dreams are not tied to corporate america. I am a painter by passion and an executive assistant by need!
I am so glad to have found this board!
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-14-2007, 02:43 PM   #24
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

This is my last week of work.

Comments I keep getting are the usual stuff. I had one today that really made me shake my head in sympathy for this person. She told me "I could never retire..I am afraid my brain would turn into jello. How can you even think about doing nothing all day?"

I told here I have no fear of my brain turning into jello as it is already there because of work and stress. I told her I can't imagine NOT retiring while I was still young and fit enough to enjoy life. She is in her early 60s and will be here until they either carry her out or throw her out at the manditory age. She will not do well in retirement because her job is all she knows about living. What a shame.
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-14-2007, 03:15 PM   #25
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveR
This is my last week of work.

Comments I keep getting are the usual stuff. I had one today that really made me shake my head in sympathy for this person. She told me "I could never retire..I am afraid my brain would turn into jello. How can you even think about doing nothing all day?"
How utterly depressing that she cannot think of anything to do in her spare time which might provide more intellectual stimulation than a (yawn) JOB.
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-15-2007, 04:19 AM   #26
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

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Originally Posted by Want2retire
How utterly depressing that she cannot think of anything to do in her spare time which might provide more intellectual stimulation than a (yawn) JOB.

I know... the favorite statement... "I am afraid I will be bored."

Great... let the boredom begin!
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-15-2007, 06:48 AM   #27
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

Ihamo,

Your mixed emotions are natural. It is a grieving process, although you initiated it by your decision.
The job has been a huge part of your life and identity. But while we may love and identify with an organisation the org. cannot love back. We believe that a non profit is different from other businesses but in fact it is not.
So grieving will take some time, it may even come back again after you have left.

But it is like when we lose a person that was close to us. Memories fade away and new layers of experiences and LIFE will cover the past, even though memories return from time to time.

(Been there, done that...)

Enjoy!

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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-15-2007, 12:42 PM   #28
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

Quote:
Originally Posted by chinaco
I know... the favorite statement... "I am afraid I will be bored."
The primary fear of every Young Dreamer (although some of them ain't so young by the time that becomes the last obstacle to ER).

And after ER, every one of them wonders why the heck they ever worried about it...
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-15-2007, 03:45 PM   #29
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

I see today is the big day...congrats! Enjoy!!
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-17-2007, 10:12 PM   #30
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveR
Comments I keep getting are the usual stuff. I had one today that really made me shake my head in sympathy for this person. She told me "I could never retire..I am afraid my brain would turn into jello. How can you even think about doing nothing all day?"
Reminds me of an article in the January 6, 2006 Financial Times, "Persona non gratis" by Andrew Cracknell [http://us.ft.com/ftgateway/superpage...20061041492536]. Here's an extract:

"In discussions in the office about what life would be like without work, the biggest drawbacks identified were boredom and exclusion. There was a nagging worry that if you didn't have to go to work you might feel left out if, say, you were having lunch with a former colleague and they had to abandon you at 2pm sharp to go to a meeting. This might highlight your lack of purpose as an empty afternoon stretched out in front of you.

"Well, yes - but what's wrong with a long empty afternoon? And anyway, haven't you the wit and imagination to fill it? A tiny portion of your afternoon - as you sit in the sun in a small park, fascinated by a magazine you've never had a chance to read before - can be taken up in delectably imagining the meeting your former colleague has gone to, and remembering the look on his face as he hurried off. You usually don't want to be there."
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-20-2007, 10:59 AM   #31
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

My last day came and went earlier this week. Actually I came in the next day for a short meeting as well, but that also gave me some time on line to finish up some personal stuff. It is a wierd situation in that I have not officially left -- for a variety of reasons I decided to let them present this as an extended leave of absence, and there is a small chance I may end up doing some consulting for them in the future. But other commitments preclude that for the rest of this year, and I have a gut feeling that I will most likely just walk away.

I'm not strictly FIREd yet, as there are lots of unknowns about our financial and work situation. I will not be working at a job for the next several months, but will be working on some things that are important to me.

Anyway, feeling better as the days go on. As I get more distance from things it will be easier to move on. Already feeling much better.

Life awaits...

lhamo
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-20-2007, 05:52 PM   #32
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

Ihamo,

Glad you are doing Ok with your situation. Retirement, regardless of the reason, may take a while to adapt to. Hang in there. We are in similar boats; my (former) employer said they would like me to do some consulting once they find my replacement so I can help them transition into the job. Also, a former coworker told me at my retirement party last night that they gave out my name as a possible consulting source. Seems I may be called soon to do some consulting work for somebody. Not sure yet how I feel about it.

DW keeps asking me "how do you feel?". I tell her to give me a few days. It is the weekend and tomorrow will seem more like a vacation day than my first ER day. I wonder how long it takes to feel retired rather than on vacation?

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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-20-2007, 09:18 PM   #33
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveR
I wonder how long it takes to feel retired rather than on vacation?
I think you reached it already at the point where you stopped rammin' & jammin' on yardwork...
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job
Old 05-20-2007, 10:19 PM   #34
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Re: Dealing with the emotions of leaving your job

There are other issues here. I was asked to set up an information security deot for mega corp when S-Ox was passed. I actually think they asked me becuase of ability although the had (sort of) eliminated an equivalent position elsewhere. The other guy was offerred a relocation package and refused it. I didn't ask to go back. I stayed with IT security because I thought the company was committed to it.

When the smoke cleared, all they wanted was to pass the audit. At that point IT security dropped to the same level of interest as the contents of the commode. So, I helped ensure that the C-levels stay out of jail and my successor (in my old job) got a huge raise etc. I had one word FIRE
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