That's why I always worked part-time while my ex-spouse continued building his career. What I discovered was there are quite a few downsides to this arrangement. First, the obvious loss of my earning power, especially problematic once ex decided to leave the marraige. Second, the sense of dependency I felt, which is related to problem number one. Finally, the lack of respect and appreciation from ex-spouse for my contribution.
Although my experience is not at all unusual, I think this pt/ft spouse arrangement can be fine as long as both spouses talk about ALL the trade-offs and think about them in advance of making the change.
So far this arrangement has worked for us. We have enough life insurance and disability insurance coverage so that if something happened to my wife, I/we would be OK financially. So the biggest risk for me as the "financially dependent" one is divorce. But, because I still work part time, I keep my resume current and my skills up to date and therefore I could go back to work full-time if needed. As I mentioned previously our current arrangement benefits both of us and we are both happy with it. I believe that it works for us for several reasons:
1) we see each other as equals (we used to jokingly say that the boss of the family was neither my wife nor I, but the cat...).
2) we have similar goals in life (FIRE being at the top of both our lists). She makes the money, I make it grow.
3) we are a team and there is no "I" in team. We are very suppportive of each others and of each other's aspirations.
4) we are very aware of the other one's feelings and talk it out when tension or resentment builds.
But we encountered a few difficulties along the way:
1) At first, my wife was uneasy about being virtually the sole bread winner and I was uneasy about becoming financially dependent but we soon found out that we just had to adjust our perspective and mindset.
2) With me working part-time and my wife making most of the money, we became an atypical couple for most people, and we had to explain our choice to people who don't share our vision. It was difficult at first, but later realized that we really don't have to explain anything to anyone.
3) My wife sometimes wishes she would have as much "free" time as I do though she admits she would get bored very quickly. I sometimes wish she wouldn't travel as much as she does for her job and would spend more time at home with me, but I understand that it is the price to pay for her success.
) During the warm months, I bring a cooler with the makin's for one fine bar-b-que dinner and serve everyone out on the patio when they get home. I tell ya, between sincere appreciation from my son and DIL and hugs and kisses from the grandkids, it's been a huge pay raise compared to toiling at Megacorp for a kita and a few bux!
