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Old 03-17-2012, 05:11 PM   #41
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I was told years ago that there are 3 things to consider in a job:

1. Good pay

2. Good people

3. Opportunity to grow

If you don't have 2 of these 3 things, it's time to reconsider your job. It's good advice!
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Old 03-18-2012, 12:06 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nbw888 View Post
I was told years ago that there are 3 things to consider in a job:

1. Good pay

2. Good people

3. Opportunity to grow

If you don't have 2 of these 3 things, it's time to reconsider your job. It's good advice!
I would say #2 is requirement. If you're not working with good people, or more broadly, a good work environment, then odds are high you'll eventually be unhappy with your job.
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Old 03-18-2012, 12:32 PM   #43
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I've taken the new job and gave notice last week. I ended up with a pretty good deal at the new job. They are bringing me in at a higher level, so the cut isn't as bad. I was hesitant to come in at a higher level, but in talking with my new manager, I think it'll be fine.

The interesting part was giving notice at the old job. My manager didn't take it well and punted it to his manager, who ended up being very understanding. He said he always thought me to be a hard worker, etc, and wished me the best. I don't think my manager expected that one.

What has been great is telling other people and hearing their thoughts. Everyone has been really positive about me leaving, something I was worried about since my timing isn't the best. But overall, no concerns. What's interesting is that there are many that feel the same way I did, stuck in their career with good pay/benis, but realize the work environment sucks and their time there might be running out. Fortunately, I think all of them would be fine, since they are good at what they do, they just need to update the resume and brush up on their interviewing skills. In our industry, there's plenty of work.

Now I have two more weeks at this job, a two week break to relax, and then I start the new job. I'm happier than I've been in a long time, which even my wife has noticed. I did very little yesterday except relax, which I haven't done in a long time. I think today might be similar. It still hasn't fully sunk in, but having an end date for my current job really takes a lot of pressure off.

Thanks again to everyone that shared their experiences. Before I posted here, I thought it was a bit nuts to make this change. But after reading the responses here, I guess it's good to be a bit nutty in life.
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Old 03-18-2012, 12:38 PM   #44
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My DH put up with his psycho boss until he no longer could. He has not worked since 05/2010 and his mental health has not improved. I am sure that he will not ever work again. I had hoped that his mental health would improve once he was away from work, but so far it has not. Money is not everything.
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Wow, dreamer, I am sorry to hear that. I worry a lot about the toll my DHs job is taking on him and have thought all along that he'd be happier when he quit. That isn't always the case.
I'm also sorry to hear that. I have a lot to decompress from and one of my worries is that it won't materialize, but fortunately, I am feeling much better.

Dreamer, for your DH, if he's having problems going back to work because he's worried about the work environment, what about trying to volunteer somewhere?

Maybe he needs to see that all environments are not bad and this might help him gradually start looking for work in a better environment.

I wish the best for you both!
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Old 03-18-2012, 12:43 PM   #45
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I've never had to take a job for less pay but have turned down numerous promotions/jobs that would have paid more. Being an engineer I found out what I truly liked was working in a lab using my engineering skills and that sitting behind a desk managing/superising others was not my cup of tea. After falling into the management track early on and realizing it wasn't for me I made a conscious effort the rest of my career not to make that mistake again even though it meant turning down some really good offers.
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Old 03-18-2012, 12:47 PM   #46
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I know my wife has a lot of the same concerns about me and she really wants to help me get out and pursue other low-pay (or no-pay) options that are better for my physical and mental health. That in turn increases my guilt and stress, feeling like my inability to adequately cope with corporate BS is putting more pressure on her. Sigh.
It's amazing how much our SOs take from us. Since I've given notice, my wife is in a much better mood. Too much of having to see how my job was affecting me and listen to my complaining - even though I tried to minimize the latter part.

Saying you're unable to cope with the corporate BS is normal. I think this wears on everyone after awhile. In all honesty, who wants to cope with corporate BS?

And corporate BS exists everywhere. Even the new place I'm going to is going to have some sort of corporate BS. I think that's unavoidable. But sometimes making a change for one set of BS for another makes it more manageable for a time, maybe for long enough to hit RE.
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Old 03-18-2012, 01:04 PM   #47
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Thanks Sarah and Kiki. Unfortunately my DH is suffering from Depression and Anxiety. He was approved for Social Security Disability. He has been seeing a Psychiatrist and another counselor and is on a couple of different medicines. He might get back to volunteering again someday. He used to be a Volunteer firefighter, volunteer EMT and Hazmat. He was a trustee at church and has been on several work mission trips. Right now he has a real problem following through on things, even things that he once felt very passionate about such as his sport car. He always tears it down to do a project on in the winter, but he is having a hard time working on it to get it back together, even though he is home all day. The weather is beautiful and he keeps saying that he needs to get it done, but is not doing it. He naps quite a bit. I think that his medicine makes him drowsy and is a sympton of depression. He does exercise more because that is supposed to help with depression and anxiety. I am quitting my part-time job shortly and will try to incorporate more fun activities into our life. The counselor said this was something that we needed to do. Who knows, things could turn around one of these days. Hoping.
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Old 03-18-2012, 01:13 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by ziggy29 View Post
I know my wife has a lot of the same concerns about me and she really wants to help me get out and pursue other low-pay (or no-pay) options that are better for my physical and mental health. That in turn increases my guilt and stress, feeling like my inability to adequately cope with corporate BS is putting more pressure on her. Sigh.
I really, really wish that I had realized how bad my DH's job was when it was happening to him. Your wife sounds like an intelligent, caring person who loves you. You should not feel any guilt or stress, about your inability to adequately cope with corporate BS and how that is putting more pressure on her. If she is behind you and she is from what you are saying, then you need to take a hard look at what the job is doing to you now and how it might affect you and her for the rest of your life. Is it really worth it? Re-read this thread and how many people did value the quality of their life over their job, took the lower paying position and never regretted it. I guess that only you know how much you can take and I sincerely hope that you make a change before you go over that limit. Good luck in making the difficult decision and never take your health for granted.
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Old 03-18-2012, 11:51 PM   #49
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Several years ago I voluntarily transferred from a supervisory to a non-supervisory position with the same employer. Since this was moving from a "Senior" salary grade to "Associate", my pay went down quite a bit—20 or 25 percent, I don't remember which. I was miserable as a supervisor, and as a result of the transfer I was much less miserable. All things considered, I think it's one of the smarter things I've done in my life.
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Old 03-19-2012, 07:17 AM   #50
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Holy smoke, Dreamer!

Is this what a toxic job can do to a person? How does one heal his soul after something like this? Clearly, this will require expert help.

I sincerely hope your husband recovers.

A note to others in such a situation: I once felt trapped in a nasty company. My wife insisted that I take an anger management course as I was bringing my work stress home with me. Fortunately I did so and it changed my life. It makes you realize what is important in your life and what is not. It gives you coping mechanisms. In my case, I realized that my problems were small compared to those of the other people in the room. Some of them were there under court order. I am sure the course helped many of them, too.

Best of luck.

Ed
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