Pre-nuptial Agreement to Protect FIRE Nestegg

[CybrMike]

After seeing my father ravaged in my parents divorce when I was 8 years old (even today he has negative net worth and he is 53), I ran to my attorneys office, and told my fiance at the time a pre-nup was a condition of marriage. Plus I had multi-millions in assets and wasn't going to be giving it all up if she wanted to leave.

The neat thing about the pre-nup is that it says that any assets that both of our names are on, we split if there is a divorce. Which means, as time goes on, i can put more and more in joint names. We are starting with the house and going from there. Pretty much gives you control over what you want to split.

I can tell you its been 2 years and so far, we are more in love than the day we met, and the pre-nup has not effected our relationship.

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

After seeing my father ravaged in my parents divorce when I was 8 years old (even today he has negative net worth and he is 53), I ran to my attorneys office, and told my fiance at the time a pre-nup was a condition of marriage. Plus I had multi-millions in assets and wasn't going to be giving it all up if she wanted to leave.

The neat thing about the pre-nup is that it says that any assets that both of our names are on, we split if there is a divorce. Which means, as time goes on, i can put more and more in joint names. We are starting with the house and going from there. Pretty much gives you control over what you want to split.

I can tell you its been 2 years and so far, we are more in love than the day we met, and the pre-nup has not effected our relationship.

It seems like many of the people who are against pre-nups haven't experienced the pain of divorce (either directly or vicariously) as manifested through a substantial loss of hard-earned individual assets. If faced with such a scenario, I'm sure they would change their tune...

 

[SteveR]

It seems like many of the people who are against pre-nups haven't experienced the pain of divorce (either directly or vicariously) as manifested through a substantial loss of hard-earned individual assets.  If faced with such a scenario, I'm sure they would change their tune...

I have survived the ravages of such a divorce and chose not to go the Pre nup route. My fiance is the one who brought it up but after careful consideration, I chose to take my chances. We both have been through a lot in our lives and will do whatever it takes to keep our marriage together. My tune is not changed despite the pain I experienced previously. I know more now about women and marriage than I did when I made my first choice at age 22. Experience is a fine educator.

 

[haha]

My take on this thread is that many folks don't recognize their Lake Woebegone Bias. People almost always think their personal mastery and mojo will prevent the bad outcomes that so liberally dot other people's lives. Usually this is a delusion. We all live in the same world. Our spouses may be madly in love with us today, with someone else tomorrow. Social mores change; and can change a whole lot in the course of a marriage.

The general circumstance that favors marriage over "intimate friends" is that you both want children. There are also special circumstances as mentioned above, like healthcare for a partner who can't get it on his/her own. To me, all other cases favor staying single and completely separate financially.

This doesn’t mean that if you make $150,000 a year, and your partner makes $40,000 that you have very good case for making him/her pay an equal share of things. Some people would not be real content with that, and think that perhaps you were too selfish to hang out with. But at least the better-off partner can choose if she would rather have more money for herself and let her fella go on down the road.

Isn’t life about choice?

I am also not real attracted by the “Do whatever it takes to stay together” approach. Probably the right thing with kids in the house, but afterward one has to remember that this is our one life, not a dress rehearsal. It should be fun, not just bearable with a lot of work.

Ha

 

[Nords]

It seems like many of the people who are against pre-nups haven't experienced the pain of divorce (either directly or vicariously) as manifested through a substantial loss of hard-earned individual assets. If faced with such a scenario, I'm sure they would change their tune...

Watching all our friends get divorced hasn't made me want to turn to my spouse and say "Gee, honey, I think we need a prenup."

I wonder which comes first-- the chicken or the egg prenup or the divorce.

"intimate friends"

That's a much classier phrase than "friends with benefits" or its even more vulgar derivative...

 

[brewer12345]

My take on this thread is that many folks don't recognize their Lake Woebegone Bias.

Ha, I don't doubt that most everybody suffers from "Lake syndrome". Having said that, I have never had any interest in a pre-nup or been able to fathom why anyone woudl wish to do so because it is alien to my entire understanding of marriage.

 

[haha]

Ha, I don't doubt that most everybody suffers from "Lake syndrome".  Having said that, I have never had any interest in a pre-nup or been able to fathom why anyone woudl wish to do so because it is alien to my entire understanding of marriage.

I understand and respect your stance, Brewer.

Ha

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I dont think "nothing bad will happen". I think whatever happens, I'll deal with it. Creating a plan for failure is a great idea when you're storming a beach...