Useless retirement gift from employer

[scrabbler1]

I got the standard clock set in something hard, shiny and heavy with my name engraved. It will go into the trash when we next move.

More importantly I got a $500 gift card to a store of my choice ( I chose Walmart ) and the advice to delay my retirement by 1 day in order to exceed my 25 year anniversary and qualify for a week's extra vacation, which was paid as an extra week on my final salary check

This is ironic because I know 2 people (my dad, in 1994, and a coworker, in 2003) who changed their final day to be one day earlier because it would help them receive their first pension check earlier. In both cases, they were going to retire on the first day of a new quarter (July 1 for my dad, October 1 for the coworker) but rolled it back to the last day of the previous quarter so they could collect their first pension check right away instead of waiting 3 months (working a single day in a new quarter made them ineligible for collecting a pension in that quarter).

I recall at least one person writing about this one-day-difference here and my replying with my two stories.

 

[FUEGO]

This thread reminds me of the cashmere sweater we got one year for Christmas. With the company logo embroidered on the chest of it. I can't remember if I cut it up to use for rags (it's really soft!) or if I tossed it in the goodwill donation bag. Out of the 25 employees at the company, 23 never wore sweaters, and 2 did (the President and the Vice President). I heard you had to dry clean the cashmere sweater, but I never wore it to even need to wash it. I think they spent over $100 per sweater.

And one year they gave out leather bags with the company logo embossed into it. The problem was that they were very heavy and rather small, so it wasn't useful to carry a laptop and could barely hold a letter-sized paper pad let alone a notebook or file folder. I think I tossed it or donated it. The thing probably weighed 8 pounds by itself compared to a pound or two for a shoulder bag of similar size and capacity. Another $100-200 probably.

Eventually they switched to good gifts. One year was a catalog where you pick $250 worth of stuff (all company logo embroidered/embossed/printed) like umbrellas, polo shirts and folding camp chairs. They also had a camera with the company logo on it (which came off in two seconds when I scratched it off with the edge of a dime). I loaded up on that stuff. Still have 4 company logo folding chairs (3 aren't broken) and a handful of company shirts (good for yardwork or cooking/grilling).

Another year they gave $100 gift cards to Lowe's for the guys (yeah!) or Macy's for the ladies (ladies were pissed since none ever shop at Macy's).

One year they gave us a check. That was the best year ever. After tax it was about $100 IIRC.

 

[scrabbler1]

Although not retirement gifts, I did receive some good ones in my years of working. One year, we got a $20 gift card for Borders Books (this was back in 2000). I knew I was going to get this because my divisionhead asked me a few weeks earlier for alternatives to taking out the staff to lunch at the end of the year (many staff including myself missed it because we took lots of days off). I suggested the Borders gift cards and he went for it.

Another useful gift I got I still have and use all the time. Before my company relocated from lower Manhattan to Jersey City, New Jersey, everyone got a special "relocation tote bag" with the company logo on it. I did not use it much in the first year but after that I used it often and still use it today. It has several pockets and pouches for small items and has a shoulder strap as well as a regular carrying handle strap.

 

[Meadbh]

After 10 years with one organization (I was a contractor) I was given a chance to pick a gift from a list. This was promotional material with logos and I chose a travel mug, which I used at work and eventually left at the office. There was another offer after 15 years. This time there was a good selection of useful gifts and no logos were involved. I chose a tabletop grill, which I still use regularly almost 10 years later. When I left that job my coworkers asked me what I would like as a gift. I suggested a Kindle. They bought me a Kindle 2 with the leather cover and reading light, plus a $100 Amazon gift certificate. I was delighted.

 

[athena53]

We receive a gift each year on ESOP anniversary and a gift on years of service, 5, 10, 15. Everything has company logo on it and is ugly, cheap, useless, doesn't work.

I used to work for a sub of Prudential. One of the 5-year gift choices was an office clock, with the logo, of course. Many co-workers had one on their office and I don't remember seeing a single one that still worked. When my turn came, I selected the wooden bookends with the Pru logo in a brass medallion on each. I'm happy to say they're right here on my desk and they still hold up books!

 

[dessert]

After reading some of the posts above, I think I had a better deal.
As part of Mega-corps policy we received a Mastercard gift card equal to some percentage of something I can't remember and it was for about $450.
Then I received another $100 or so from individuals and then another $100 from my immediate Boss at an expensive dinner for the occasion.
All in all, I was very pleased at my employer when I left.

 

[Lakewood90712]

Whatever happened to the Gold Pocket Watch ? A real one could set the company back a couple of thousand $ ( I actually have the gold retirement pocket watch from my grandmothers 2nd husband ) I will pass it on when I die, and hope nobody melts it down for the scrap value

 

[Theseus]

My own retirement is coming up quickly and I don't expect much at all, as the corporate policy on such matter seems to have moved from minimal monetary support to none at all. Although over the years I've managed to come up with ways of working around that constraint to providing a memento for direct reports who have retired. One was a miniature stainless steel commode custom fabricated in-house for a retiring master plumber. Nice paperweight, if nothing else. In another instance, I took the nameplate from a boiler being decommissioned and after it was signed on the backside by all of his co-workers I presented it to the retiring mechanic, who had been servicing boilers since his youthful days in the navy. Hopefully it found a spot on the wall in his fishing shanty.

 

[Chuckanut]

As a public employee I did not expect much since it would not ethical to use public funds for gifts. But, when I got an T-Shirt two sizes two large and with an obsolete school motto on it, I must admit I was more than a bit disappointed. A $5 Starbucks card would have been better.

Thankfully, I got many nice comments from students and former students before I left. Given that it was middle school, that is a big deal!

 

[grasshopper]

I got a 60GB Ipod, went on Craigslist the next day.

 

[Derslickmeister]

The best sendoff gifts seem to be cash or experiences. Not more stuff. We don't need more stuff.

Ain't it the truth, especially cheap, worthless, logo emblazoned crap. Makes for good target practice though

 

[Dreamer]

This was not for retirement, but when I had worked 30 years for the federal government, they gave me a small round pin that said 30 on it. There was a hole in the pin that was not supposed to be there. I could not believe that they would give any one who had worked for 30 years a defective pin.

 

[LOL!]

What I don't understand is that all the people in charge of giving these gifts know well enough that they are lame-o and would not want to be given them. So how do these things happen?

Some of you must have been in charge of the gift giving. So what gives?

 

[Skyward1]

We used to get a catalogue at our anniversary where we could order mostly useless items for probably a $100 or less. At my 5 and 10 year I just gave it to our aa to order whatever she wanted. Somewhere along the way they did away with that and last year I had my 20th anniversary and received a piece of paper (no frame) in recognition of my time which I promptly recycled.

 

[FUEGO]

What I don't understand is that all the people in charge of giving these gifts know well enough that they are lame-o and would not want to be given them. So how do these things happen?

Some of you must have been in charge of the gift giving. So what gives?

When I was at a small company, I worked closely with the lady that picked gifts. She tended to put a lot of effort into picking these gifts that were consistently crappy. I suggested she stop getting what she thought was proper gifts befitting gentlemen of our standing, and instead get stuff that we would actually use.

Her little heart was crushed, but we got decent gifts after that.

 

[FUEGO]

One was a miniature stainless steel commode custom fabricated in-house for a retiring master plumber. Nice paperweight, if nothing else. In another instance, I took the nameplate from a boiler being decommissioned and after it was signed on the backside by all of his co-workers I presented it to the retiring mechanic, who had been servicing boilers since his youthful days in the navy. Hopefully it found a spot on the wall in his fishing shanty.

I have two cool gifts like that. One is a concrete core sample that's polished up with a nice label on the front to commemorate the opening of a major roadway project I worked on. The core sample was removed from the project itself, so I always have a little piece of it to remember the project by (like a piece of the Berlin wall).

Another is a road sign from the same project. Overseeing signing plans, fabrication, and installation was one of my roles.

 

[CaliforniaMan]

I was self employed and my employer didn't get me anything at all. I really didn't expect anything, but now I am feeling a bit peeved.

 

[aja8888]

I was self employed and my employer didn't get me anything at all. I really didn't expect anything, but now I am feeling a bit peeved.

I'm still self employed (part time) and when I retire from this, my employer is thinking of buying me a Corvette. I haven't passed this through HR yet (DW), so I am not sure the retirement gift will materialize.

 

[fh2000]

Not retired yet. But throughout my working career, I received a lot of T-shirts and hats. Some have company logo. Some are given out after a project rollout. I now have a life time supply of T shirts and hats.

One company gave us jackets, rain coats, carry-on bags, electronics, clocks, crystals...

 

[Cassie]

I got the standard certificate and a $2500 Special Contribution Award.

 

[athena53]

Not retired yet. But throughout my working career, I received a lot of T-shirts and hats. Some have company logo. Some are given out after a project rollout. I now have a life time supply of T shirts and hats.

When I left my company I didn't even take the corporate-logo coffee mug issued to me on my first day. I left it in the break room. I did get a couple of company T-shirts, which I plan to donate to our local thrift store. I'm hoping they'll show up on a security camera during a bank robbery.

Like you, though, I never have to buy T-shirts. I participate in athletic events and they almost always include a T-shirt so I've got piles of them.

 

[splitwdw]

There was a hole in the pin that was not supposed to be there. I could not believe that they would give any one who had worked for 30 years a defective pin.

Are you sure the diamond didn't fall out? lol

I was self employed and my employer didn't get me anything at all. I really didn't expect anything, but now I am feeling a bit peeved.

You did get something, the money your employer didn't spend on a retirement gift!!!!!

I'm still self employed (part time) and when I retire from this, my employer is thinking of buying me a Corvette. I haven't passed this through HR yet (DW), so I am not sure the retirement gift will materialize.

There are quite a few Corvette people on this forum. Maybe we could talk to HR (DW) and explain the joys of driving a Corvette. Also how great she would look in one. (See this is another reason I can't retire yet. I'm a car lover and an enabler when it comes to buying vehicles) Any special year you would want? One friend's wife bought him a new C7 last year for his 50th birthday.

 

[photoguy]

I was only at my last employer for a little more than a year so I didn't get anything official when I ER'd. However I did get two unlocked nexus smartphones from other gifts/bonus/etc that the company gave out. Fairly useful as I was using a crappy flip phone before. I have it on ptel so my phone bill is problem a few $ per month.

The company also paid the extra taxes on the gifts so that was a nice touch. Still would have preferred cash though.

 

[Dash man]

I didn't get anything from my employer, but my customers and coworkers got together and took me to a really nice restaurant for lunch and chipped in for a $100 Visa gift card. I was touched and pleased they took the time to see me off. Their show of appreciation meant more to me than anything my boss would have given me.

 

[aja8888]

There are quite a few Corvette people on this forum. Maybe we could talk to HR (DW) and explain the joys of driving a Corvette. Also how great she would look in one. (See this is another reason I can't retire yet. I'm a car lover and an enabler when it comes to buying vehicles) Any special year you would want? One friend's wife bought him a new C7 last year for his 50th birthday.

Yes, I'd love to have my old 1965 Corvette roadster back, but that's not going to happen. My budget is way less than a restored C2. I have been shopping the ads for a 2001 - 2002 with low mileage and not beat to hell or with lots of mods. I figure I have time to look, seeing we are car heavy right now and the sale of my 2002 Dodge RAM SLE pickup will be the trigger. Timing may be this Fall/Winter when the Corvettes go back in the garage for storage and some guy needs the money and decides to part with his cream puff.