What is wrong with me?

[Milton]

Glad to hear that you received confirmation of what you already knew to be true.

I am somewhat puzzled that you even considered this in the first place, given your own description of the situation:

I've been eagerly anticipating ER for as long as I've been working.... I just don't want to have to think about the pettiness and be bothered when I'm doing other things. So, all was sailing along pretty smoothly until DH landed a very intense job with megacorp in a different state.... Since work is about all the life he has these days, he suggested that I come and work with him at megacorp. I could see the upside, so I started talking with megacorp....

Part of me is very concerned that this will be a major mistake. I don't want to work 70 hours a week. I don't want a lot of stress and hassle. I can imagine what my day-to-day life will look like, and it's going to be rough. But at the same time, I feel drawn to it. I think the work would be very engaging and satisfying (as well as stressful and all-consuming).

Where was the apparent upside? What attracted you? What would be so engaging and satisfying?

Good advice from ER Eddie, BTW. Gently remind your husband that marriage is a partnership and he needs to spend more time with you, even if that means devoting less energy to his job (which he finds stimulating, but is not financially required).

 

[sunsnow]

Where was the apparent upside? What attracted you? What would be so engaging and satisfying?

What attracted me: I think it was a combination of a few different things including feeling needed by people at the new job, feeling bored or at least unchallenged at my current job, missing my husband, and just general loneliness and isolation in working alone from home in a new town where I don't know anyone. I am looking into making some new social connections here, which will hopefully help with the last part at least.

Engaging and satisfying: difficult challenges that would allow me to use more of my experience and intellect than in my current position. I have been thinking about starting work on a side project (for fun) to satisfy that need.

 

[ICNTR]

What attracted me: I think it was a combination of a few different things including feeling needed by people at the new job, feeling bored or at least unchallenged at my current job, missing my husband, and just general loneliness and isolation in working alone from home in a new town where I don't know anyone. I am looking into making some new social connections here, which will hopefully help with the last part at least.

Engaging and satisfying: difficult challenges that would allow me to use more of my experience and intellect than in my current position. I have been thinking about starting work on a side project (for fun) to satisfy that need.

I can appreciate these sentiments. However,I think your current situation may provide the best opportunity to address them. Sometimes it helps me to consider the "opportunity cost" of a megacorp job that provides such a demanding and rigid schedule. Consider making a list of all the things you CAN'T do when holding such a job.
I am very grateful for the flexibility and opportunities afforded me by my semi-retirement. Heck, it is on "semi" because I still enjoy a few hours of contract assignments with old megacorp and old coworkers. If that becomes unfun then whatever I decide to do next is only limited my my passion,imagination, and predetermined retirement budget. (I personally find imagination and passion to be a more challenging hurdle which is a little troubling to me.)

Good luck to you as you embark on whatever adventure you decide to pursue next.

 

[RISP]

Good questions in one-on-ones almost always get direct and honest answers.

That's very interesting to me. Might be a cultural thing, as I don't see this happen here in Germany. I had some (though not many) interviews over the years, and I've never heard anything but how great working for the potential employer in question would be for me.

This is somewhat contradictory to a feeling we Europeans often have about Americans: When asked how you feel, or how things are, it's either "fine" or "wonderful" no matter how bad the situation really is.