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Old 08-26-2016, 01:11 PM   #21
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That is how I explain to most people that we were able to do it so they won't feel bad - Two incomes no kids --> much easier.
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Old 08-26-2016, 01:22 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Aerides View Post
I'm sure this is going to sound more harshly than I mean it, but even those WITH kids should ideally not have plans which include much dependency/burden on them. At most it should be a matter of assisting with execution of plans vs. deciding and making them.
+1

We would have done almost anything for both of our DMs. FIL was untreated bipolar but maybe we could have handled him. My DF was fortunate that one of my surviving siblings made, in her words, the worst decesion of her life.
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Old 08-26-2016, 01:34 PM   #23
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We are still in our 50's so this is not an immediate concern, but I do wonder what we will do if/when we get to the point where we can no longer look after ourselves and/or our finances. Having a strong advocate for healthcare seems to make a huge difference. And once dementia sets in, it will be difficult to handle things like paying bills on our own.

We have no kids and no other relatives within 2,000 miles. Is anyone else worried about this situation? What are others in similar situations planning?


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Definitely something to plan for. My spouse and I are also childless. On the care-giver end my spouse, along with a cousin, were named as a beneficiaries to their Uncle, who was also childless. We all lived near each other, within 5-15 miles. As Uncle Bob aged he needed more and more help. He would sometimes “joke” about the "will" when he felt as though he wasn’t getting the help he needed. It was all in good fun in the beginning, however his condition deteriorated quickly. He needed nursing due to Alzheimer’s and passed at 72, after retiring at 62.
I think a good option would be to lean towards CCRC’s where you can be surrounded by folks in similar situations so you can get ideas and share information about how to get support
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Old 08-26-2016, 01:58 PM   #24
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That is how I explain to most people that we were able to do it so they won't feel bad - Two incomes no kids --> much easier.
who has two incomes?
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Old 08-26-2016, 02:03 PM   #25
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We told our kids that we paid their college tuition instead of buying LTC insurance. I made them promise to turn the wheel chair so the sun was not in my eyes and to wipe the drool off my chin. They thought I was joking.
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Old 08-26-2016, 02:10 PM   #26
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who has two incomes?
A couple without children should have 2 incomes, in all fairness.
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Old 08-26-2016, 02:14 PM   #27
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A couple without children should have 2 incomes, in all fairness.
not this couple

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Old 08-26-2016, 02:16 PM   #28
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Hmmmm - I'm also seeing a pattern here, of a lot of ERers who have no children, and possible can ER because of it.
Just saying

Rich
I think for a lot of folks here, kids would have pushed the "E" out of ER. Or at least tacked a decade on to the plan date. Those that do manage to ER with kids - my hat is off. That must take some very early planning and responsible financial management starting way back when I was still being very stupid (ie, my 20's).

And yes it's a great way to cut off the "but how can you afford to...." looks. Just saying Oh well we never made babies, and you see the lightbulbs flicker on.
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Old 08-26-2016, 02:16 PM   #29
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We are in the same kind of boat, and there is no easy answer.

Professional's don't really care, and are dangerous as they will collect their money while doing (ordering, managing) as little as possible.
Children are no guarantee of anything as I have seen some pretty uncaring, irresponsible, greedy, selfish children.

Too bad you can't have a will that says, "if Johnny didn't take care of me or get proper care for me he gets $1MM less, and that $1MM goes to the city food bank."
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Old 08-26-2016, 02:34 PM   #30
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My plan - I'm going all in on morbidity compression.
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Old 08-26-2016, 08:10 PM   #31
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Too bad you can't have a will that says, "if Johnny didn't take care of me or get proper care for me he gets $1MM less, and that $1MM goes to the city food bank."
You can do this using a trust. I'm definitely not suggesting that you should do this, but it's an option.
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Old 08-26-2016, 11:14 PM   #32
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CCRC's definitely provide a level of safety and support, but CCRC staff doesn't advocate for you when you have to go to the hospital nor will they manage their residents' finances generally speaking. Will check out the fiduciary idea, thanks.


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Old 08-27-2016, 03:00 AM   #33
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Still young by this forum standards so alot can happen, but in the same boat too. No children, no spouse. Highly doubt either one of those will happen.

One distinct option are two nieces, but since they're only 8 and 5 who knows how that'll turn out. Also brother and his wife, about the same age as I am so ..

Not too worried if I stay in relatively ok shape mentally, or if degradation is slow, and financially I can stay in good shape.

If things go south quite sudden, I'll be very much at risk.

Note for the couples: relying on each other is fine for one of you, the other one will be left alone in the end so you have the same issues in the end as me.

I'm seeing this right now with my grandfather: he needs care and relies on his children. His wife passed away this year (and needed care too). In the last years too he wasn't really capable of taking care of his wife himself, so children helped out there as well. So there is that.
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Old 08-27-2016, 04:36 AM   #34
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Assisted living housing would seem like an option to consider.
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Old 08-27-2016, 06:13 AM   #35
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I am childless and have one nephew I will use to take care of my money and a niece to oversee my caregivers. The niece owns a care giving agency and oversaw my mom's hospice care.
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Old 08-27-2016, 09:15 AM   #36
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Assisted living housing would seem like an option to consider.
Would work somewhat while you are there, but if you fall down the stairs and get taken to hospital, you are on your own.
The staff at Assisted Living housing, probably don't get involved in your finances as I easily imagine most families would consider it too easy for the staff to steal, so largely you would be on your own to pay bills, turn down Nigerian princes, etc.

I know of a lady I know, who is in assisted living, and has dementia and Millions of dollars, she is aggressive, abusive, and the staff pretty much ignore her to the point of unsanitary conditions. She has about 4 children, but locally, but to my shock, none are willing to step in and deal with the situation. Very sad.
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Old 08-27-2016, 09:44 AM   #37
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I'm have some much younger siblings that can help at least with oversight - a small amount. But in general I imagine going the continuing care route more or less. I'll try to have some professional relationships set up, but also have family involved for oversight.
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Old 08-27-2016, 10:31 AM   #38
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Old 08-27-2016, 10:33 AM   #39
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Watching my and my husband's parents at the end of their lives... their friends were aged or had passed away.

If we had no children a CCRC would be the best option.
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Old 08-27-2016, 11:05 AM   #40
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Hmmmm - I'm also seeing a pattern here, of a lot of ERers who have no children, and possible can ER because of it.
Just saying

Rich
Or folks that have kids aren't interested in this thread. I don't play golf, so I pay no attention to that thread.

Interestingly enough, my DW has two sisters...one is 45 and the other is 31 and none of them have kids and the youngest one just had a tubal ligation done a few months ago. Certainly not the norm!

Sent via mobile device. Please excuse any grammatical errors.
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