fear of flying

I have no experience with phobia or panic attacks. I have less knowledge about flying and aircraft than some of our other posters. Some of the suggestions about small aircraft are excellent. Signing up for an introductory lesson at an un-crowded airport might be the experience that you need. Remember, as the paying student you are in charge. A significant part of the lesson should be spent on familiarizing you with the aircraft and you can arrange to sit in the plane as long as you want to. Make sure the instructor understands your circumstances and establishes a go/no go point so that YOU can abort the take off if you want to. It seems as though you don't know why you are afraid and we don't know if or why a small plane experience will help. For the small expense and low risk it might be worth a try.
 
I would also not recommend a small plane ride for you...it could backfire and further amplify the fear.

Maybe this info will help...LH had his private pilot's license (VFR only) back in the early 80s. I audited ground school so I would be a better informed passenger "just in case" he needed assistance. I was taught the full details of flight: mechanics, controls, airspace rules, radio communications and preflight checklists. It was an excellent course. :D I had no desire to be a pilot. :nonono:

I am not afraid to be a passenger in commercial aircraft, except just before touchdown I still get a small fear reaction. I love the thrill of takeoff. I am afraid of heights, but not when airborne. :confused:

In the single engine prop plane, I will admit I was very afraid. But having gone through ground school helped me understand what was happening and I was able to assist as chartist and lookout for other aircraft. I also "took" the controls for very brief periods to get the feel of them. This helped me with the fear of being "up there" in such a tiny plane.

Would understanding more about flight mechanics help allay your fears? Is it the takeoff, landing, turbulence, or not being in control of your fate?

I give you a lot of credit for trying to find an answer to overcoming your fear of flying. :flowers:
 
Googling around I found that there is a fear of flying "course" in Minnesota, one of the few in the country. Fear of Flying - Program in Minnesota and Michigan You go for a couple of days, they teach you about the planes, about how to handle anxiety, and then take you on a flight.

I emailed them as it doesn't look like there are any more courses this year EXCEPT next weekend, which is probably full up and and and and I am not sure I am ready. :)

Freebird, it is all the things, the takeoff, the landing, the turbulence and most of all not being in control of my fate. One thing that did not help was my FIL's situation. He was ill with cancer and my spouse persuaded him to move up north from Florida to be close to us. His doctors concurred. He repeatedly said that he would die if he had to fly. His sons and doctors pushed him. He got on the plane and died enroute. I was afraid before, but this contributed to my giving up on a solution.
 
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Martha said:
One thing that did not help was my FIL's situation. He was ill with cancer and my spouse persuaded him to move up north from Florida to be close to us. His doctors concurred. He repeatedly said that he would die if he had to fly. His sons and doctors pushed him. He got on the plane and died enroute. I was afraid before, but this contributed to my giving up on a solution.
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Hmmm. Guilt, fear of following FIL by dying during the flight.....maybe a therapist could tease this out.

I confess to having had fear of flying for decades. I was fine until I was in a near miss over London, Heathrow. It got worse after I spent a period doing patient transport in small planes. I get quite nervous during turbulence, especially on the descent, when I vizualize us going "splat" in a field somewhere. I am much more terrified in small turboprops, which bounce around much more.

I have to travel for my work and even for family reasons and I don't have a way to avoid flying. I seem to be improving, though. What helps for me? First, I got involved in the patient safety movement and realized that I was safer on a scheduled flight than I would be as a patient admitted to a hospital; second, I focus on the crew. If they are wearing wedding rings, I think about them going home to their spouse and kids at our destination (and I often engage the flight attendants in conversation so that they become real people with rents, mortgages, and families to go home to, not risk takers, in my mind). I prefer to travel with friends with whom I can have an animated conversation when I can. I allow myself to relax with an alcoholic drink on a long flight, and I make sure I have something engaging to read. But I still do get a cold feeling of dread from time to time when yawing and bouncing up and down through cumulonimbus clouds :(

I suggest you start with tapes and books, and seriously consider the course in Minneapolis (after all, you can drive there!!!) or some therapy. That is, assuming you really want to fly!
 
Seeing the pilot has not always been a positive experience for me . On our last flight the one pilot looked like he could collect SS and the other looked like he was earning money to go on spring break .
 
Moemg said:
Seeing the pilot has not always been a positive experience for me . On our last flight the one pilot looked like he could collect SS and the other looked like he was earning money to go on spring break .
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Hey! "There are old pilots and bold pilots. There are no old, bold pilots."

Grey hair is gooood in a pilot! :LOL::LOL::LOL:


Ta,
mew
 
Moemg said:
Seeing the pilot has not always been a positive experience for me . On our last flight the one pilot looked like he could collect SS and the other looked like he was earning money to go on spring break .
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And your problem with this dynamic duo was...? :cool:
 
im not sure if a couple xanax would help...but i know if *I* took a couple xanax and maybe had a drink, i'd be willing to FLY the darn plane....


no good advice here though.... i wish you luck
 
Martha,
I can definitely relate to your fear. You are not alone in this, by any means!

Although I do have a fear of heights, I was able to get on planes and fly all over the world for business. And then one day, I couldn't do it. I didn't have any rational explanation; I just couldn't get on a plane. I managed to avoid flying for a few months, but finally had no choice but to fly with a group of colleagues to a mandatory meeting. I mentioned my fear to one of my coworkers and he told one of the flight crew. Next thing I knew, I was visited by a pilot who happened to be on the plane (not the plane's pilot!). He sat down next to me and explained what all the noises, lights and "ding dongs" meant during the flight; he explained about the air currents and the turbulence avoidance systems and generally helped me feel more in control of what was happening because I knew that there was a reason for everything.

Then, before we landed, he taught me a simple meditation that I continue to use every time I fly. He told me to close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing, then to picture myself in a very safe, relaxing environment. For me, that would be swinging in a hammock listening to the ocean's waves. Now, I associate the movement of the plane as the hammock swaying, and the droning noise of the plane as the sound of the waves lapping on the shore.

I've also found it helpful to invest in a good pair of Bose sound abating headphones (I got a great price on a pair at an auction of stuff people left behind on planes) -- and I've set up a playlist of particularly enjoyable songs for my iPod. I avoid caffeine and alcohol on the plane but always bring some favorite snacks, along with my own little travel pillow as I find it comforting to have it with me.

Do I still get nervous when I have to fly? Yes, but I know that I'm safer in a plane than in a car and that thousands of flights take off and land safely each day. I know what to expect during the flight -- and that as long as the flight attendants are moving around the cabin, even any expected turbulence isn't going to be much more than a few bumps in the road, so to speak. And I have my music and my "hammock swaying in the ocean's breezes" to relax me. Now, most flights, I find myself dozing off and waking up near the end of the flight.

I hope you can address and overcome -- or at least minimize -- your fear of flying. If I could do it, I know you can. Good luck to you.
 
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I had my only brief panic attack when scuba diving in Guam a few years back. It was only brief and minor, and after a brief re-surface I was OK and able to go back down. But I know how scary it felt. I can barely even imagine a major attack and how you must feel.

I really wish that we could still visit the cockpit while the plane is in flight. Some years ago before 9/11, I used to visit the cockpit and sometimes even spend up to atwo hours in there with them on long-haul flights between Asia or Europe and SFO. I really do think that may help but its now impossible. On the other hand, I would certainly recommend going up in a small plane, with a trusted pilot or instructor who will let you handle the controls. I will say that it will probably make you panic, at first, but so long as it is a nice calm day, and your instructor/pilot friend is very experienced and very good with dealing with nervous nellies, you will probably learn to relax. I would suggest some touch-and-goes, with your hands on the yoke (with the instructor at first, and then with his hands off, and just yours on it). This will give you a sense of control and ease. Whatever you do, don't go up in a small plane in the back seat with no headphones and with no one to help you calm down if needed. It is cramped, noisy, hard to hear without the intercom/headphones, and if you panic with no one to help you calm down you may start grabbing for the pilot...that would be dangerous to you and to him.

All of this said, I have an old colleague who had a fear of flying, and she overcame it...she had to because of her job (US country manager in a global company with HQ in Europe). I do know that she went for counseling for a very long time, and took Amtrak for cross country trips during the worst of her phobic period. I think she also ended up taking anxiety meds when she finally flew again, and she never flew alone. I flew with her once on a trip from SFO to Boston (she was lightly medicated), and we hit a very minor bit of turbulence and she came a bit unglued...grabbed my hand, and I squeezed it harder than the strongest handshake I have ever had from a big brawny guy...and I'm a guy.

Finally, I would suggest the Fear of Flying program you mentioned. I would not do it this weekend though. Rather, make an appointment way out in advance, get counseling and maybe even meds in the meantime, and go do the program when you can. You've got some time, you're retired. In the meantime, drive.

R
 
Meadbh said:
First, I got involved in the patient safety movement and realized that I was safer on a scheduled flight than I would be as a patient admitted to a hospital...
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You say this as though it's a good thing!
 
Lets see over the past 30 years of occasional business travel. Two aborted takeoffs,
two aborted landings,what I would call an assault landing in Nashville, an icy runway landing,a total fog landing,takeoff in a blizzard not fun, landings in thunderstorms.
Do I fear flying, somewhat.
Old Mike
 
thefed said:
im not sure if a couple xanax would help...but i know if *I* took a couple xanax and maybe had a drink, i'd be willing to FLY the darn plane....


no good advice here though.... i wish you luck
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Martha, I think this is good advice until you conquer the fear--at least you'll be able to get to the places on your list.

I never was really afraid of flying, but I got over being even slightly nervous about it when I realized I wasn't afraid of dying. Now I sleep through takeoffs and landings. I admit the turbulence still gets me sometimes.
 
Martha said:
...
Anyway, I want to work through this. Anyone overcome a fear of flying? Would taking a xanax or two get you through a flight?
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I think understanding the reason for it would be my first concern.

Some years ago I was assaulted on a bus while seated in a window seat, surrounded by five or six large delinquents, one of whom sat next to me in the aisle seat and leaned against me. Long story but eventually he said, "I'm tired of leaning on you" and he and the others got off the bus. I've always had some claustrophobia but that event created a problem for many years.

I just kept trying to get back into window seats and gradually could do it, did it yesterday without a thought to it once being a problem. I still avoid the back seats of other people's car, and have had some embarrassing moments about that. Obviously, this is a control issue and I don't feel any panic in the driver's seat, even of a small car. During the worst of that time, I did fly a few times, and felt panicky but just toughed it out because once you are on board there is no choice. I've never taken any meds./booze or gone to a doctor for it but my friends knew about it and shared their experiences about behavioral changes.
 
Thanks for your story CJ. I don't know how important the reasons are. Given that so many people fear flying or heights I think part of the problem is just in our wiring. The key for me is learning how to dial down the anxiety to a reasonable level. It sounds like the dvds and courses present ways to teach you how to do that.
 
I had no idea I had mild claustrophobia until I tried to sleep in the lower bunk of a tiny cramped boat cabin. I couldn't stay there the first night. I eventually got used to it. I was in my early 40s - so it took a long time to discover this phobia.

I still get a bit of that creepy feeling if I need to get under a low crawl space - like when I was trying to help my husband find that thing under the car.

Audrey
 
Martha said:
So I have this one specific phobia. For some reason, I think that I might have better luck trying to fly in a small plane first. (Though that is somewhat contrary to what the psychologist told me about flying and is technically less safe). Take a tranquilizer (MD is willing), go up on a nice day, fly around a bit, and land. I might feel more in control if the flight is only 15 minutes.
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Full disclosure: I owned a single-engine airplane for a couple of years and thoroughly enjoyed it.

My first thought was go to a small airport and ask about taking flying lessons. The vast majority of flight instructors love aviation and introducing it to people, and the last thing they want to do is scare someone away. A "once around the pattern" flight takes about five minutes or less. Explain to the instructor why you're taking the flights and he or she will bend over backwards to explain what's going on and why.

And technically, landing a light airplane is no more difficult than parallel parking a car. How many times did you have to practice that to get it nailed down? If you can ride a motorcycle you certainly have the physical and mental ability to fly an airplane. An airplane banks in a turn for the same reasons a motorcycle does.

As was suggested, pick a calm day. Light airplanes do bounce around more in windy weather, but there are days when the air is so calm it's like sitting in your living room. Early morning and late afternoon are the most likely times.

And finally, I respectfully submit the thought that a half-dozen flying lessons might be cheaper than a psychologist.:) By that time you will have done at least a couple of landings by yourself.
 
Martha, I don’t know if it would be effective to concentrate on your motivation, wow, the Galapagos!! I went to a museum yesterday that’s original collection was taken from those islands. They have a short film I always find mesmerizing. I don’t want to go there (yet) but have tickets this weekend to sail around the Farallones Islands in a small boat. One very real risk is that I might spend the entire time seasick but I’ve been nauseous before and will go through with it, very excited to get out on the water; any moments without nausea will be a bonus. I plan to pop one “less drowsy” Bonine tablet in advance of departure. Motivation, planning, self talk, it’s worth a try. It’s shark season, ooh, cool. Maybe whales, definitely seals and birds.
 
Walt34 said:
And technically, landing a light airplane is no more difficult than parallel parking a car. How many times did you have to practice that to get it nailed down? If you can ride a motorcycle you certainly have the physical and mental ability to fly an airplane. An airplane banks in a turn for the same reasons a motorcycle does.
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Well, hmmmm - not sure I agree with that. Touch and goes were pretty "exciting".

If Martha has trouble sitting in a big commercial airliner, I had trouble imagining her taking flying lessons. Flying lessons are very exciting - very intense with a lot of adrenaline involved.

Maybe no more than a motorcycle - but then there is clearly some major difference in Martha's mind.

If it's ultimately a control thing.........? Then seems like it would be the control issue that has to be addressed.

Way out of my league this stuff is....

Audrey
 
Here is an idea - learn about lift.

Flying is based on the concept of lift. If you really understand how lift works (the Bernoulli Principle) and how wings work and how much maneuverability the pilot does indeed have with no power, it might help a great deal with the anxiety once you get past the takeoff which IMO is the scariest part.

Planes are not rocks.

That Minneapolis course sounds like the right medicine! I bet they don't make you do anything that you don't want to do, and I bet you can take the course more than once.

Audrey
 
Audrey, I do understand the physics of flying as I spent some time learning about it when I tried 10 years ago to get past this. But what is odd, and maybe peculiarly human, is that one part of my brain understands but another does not. :) I assume it is like those who are claustrophic. You know that the box isn't closing in on you but your body does not.

I am going to either:

1. Take the Minneapolis fear of flying class and go on the flight with the class. I favor this option. It seems to be the most structured and will get me on a plane not by myself; or

2. Get the SOAR program DVDs and phone support. http://www.fearofflying.com/ I will do this if there isn't a fear of flying class sometime this winter; or

3. Do the small plane lessons and flight. My original thought was to just go up on a flight but the lessons have some appeal, though I really can't see myself putting in the hours necessary to become a pilot and odds are it is like motorcycles, the risk of accidents is far higher if you are a beginner. The only reason I keep it on the list is that I enjoyed thoroughly learning to ride a motorcycle and I was an uncomfortable motorcycle passenger. Now I am fine doing both. I also have a small airport a couple miles away where they give lessons. But given that winter is here and this option does make me want to hyperventilate a bit :) I think I will go with number 1 or 2.
 
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