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Old 11-26-2012, 08:43 PM   #21
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Old 11-26-2012, 08:43 PM   #22
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I thought the "no friends or acquaintances" part meant moving someplace without one's spouse or beloved.

If it doesn't, then I have done that dozens of times. But I think the experience is truly different when you don't know ANYBODY there, as opposed to going there with a built-in friend/buddy/spouse/whatever along with you and often even living with you.
I moved twice all by myself, and twice with DW. But, as in Alan's case, DW travels so much that I pretty much had to fend for myself in all cases.
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:25 PM   #23
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We are in the process of preparing for just such a move. We built our "first stage" retirement home 7 years ago in a community where we know no one. My parents do live about 40 minutes away, i.e., close enough when the need arises (their side or ours), but not so close that we will get in each others' hair. This move is from Tokyo to our home in California.

Back in 1999, we did it the other way around...moving from our previous home in Cali to Tokyo...and also about an hour from DW's family.

On top of that, this is our second stint in Japan, so we've done it all before. My DW makes new friends very easily, and will most likely have a new set of friends within the first 3 months or so at our new location. As for me, I am friendly with everyone, but I don't make close friends very easily. Having been in senior management for a very long time, I have had to learn not to become too close as friends with employees for all the obvious reasons, and I've not had much time to develop many closer relationships outside of work (because I'm always working).

As our new adventure begins to unfold, I suspect I will be just fine with DW as my best buddy, with a new pup running a close second. If I am able to develop close friendships over time, that will be great, but if not, I will be quite satisfied anyway.

Would I or will I move again to a place I don't know? Yes, I probably will, when the phase 1 retirement home becomes more than I am prepared to maintain. At that time, we may move closer to the kids (but not too close) or we may not.

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Old 11-26-2012, 09:46 PM   #24
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We did it in our mid 40's for Wife's mid-career job change. Before she interviewed, we'd been in the town twice, and knew no one within 200 miles. Was probably harder on our teenage boys than to either of us, but we definitely made the right move.
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Old 11-26-2012, 11:35 PM   #25
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Nope. Kids and g'kids here. In fact... if THEY moved we would probably consider moving to the same general area
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Old 11-27-2012, 12:31 AM   #26
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Would you move to a new town or city without knowing anybody? No friends or acquantances? eveything starting from zero? - if you think the place is ideal for your needs and wants?
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Old 11-27-2012, 01:14 AM   #27
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Would you move to a new town or city without knowing anybody? No friends or acquantances? eveything starting from zero? - if you think the place is ideal for your needs and wants?
It depends...I've moved 3 times as a single to a city where I knew no one (at ages 24, 38 and 40).

I think it may become tougher as we are older, and if not working, we are less likely to even develop that superficial 'social circle' at work.

Are you going with a spouse? (that makes it much easier IMHO as you have someone else 'in the same boat').

How outgoing are you? Do you readily join organizations and/or a local religious institution? Do you have hobbies and interests that will bring you in contact with locals? Is it a community of transients (who might be more open to meeting newbies) or well-established long-time locals (who might be more difficult to get to know)? What is the age demographic like? Is it a community where the weather and walkability factor have people out and about on foot or is everyone inside due to the weather or (due to layout and distances) driving their cars to go anywhere?

So many factors affect how easily one can feel like they've made some new friends/acquaintances and feel like a part of the community.

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Old 11-27-2012, 01:22 AM   #28
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Certainly, if I really thought the area was the right place. I've done it twice before (both times worked out great) so would do it again if the situation made sense.
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Old 11-27-2012, 05:30 AM   #29
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Yes. I have done this twice in my life already. Not for the faint-hearted.

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Would you move to a new town or city without knowing anybody? No friends or acquantances? eveything starting from zero? - if you think the place is ideal for your needs and wants?
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Old 11-27-2012, 07:28 AM   #30
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Absolutely!
I did it eleven times during my military career, and it was no big deal. I always found that after a couple of weeks I became familiar enough with the new town (sometimes very big cities) to feel comfortable.

One way or another, you can always make new friends, and even though many of those moves were to places I would never have considered on my own, I always found something to appreciate about them.
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Old 11-27-2012, 07:45 AM   #31
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Absolutely!
I did it eleven times during my military career, and it was no big deal.
Based on my experience there is a huge difference in relocating in the military vs. once you are retired. In the military you have a built-in peer and support group whereas in retirement you are likely entirely on your own.
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Old 11-27-2012, 08:01 AM   #32
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This a timely topic. I live in NYC and I am considering a move to a lower tax state in a warmer climate. I estimate a no income tax state could mean savings of over $150k over the rest of my life, and that assumes investment income only! Although I am single, no kids, this is a tough decision for me. I would miss my friends in NYC and I would be further from my extended family members who all live in the NE.
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Old 11-27-2012, 08:05 AM   #33
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This is part of my current retirement plan since I do not really know anyone in the areas I am considering. I seem to be getting a bit more introverted with each passing year; so, I am not all that concerned about the day-to-day of not knowing people. But, I will admit to having some concerns about what happens in the case of accident, sudden illness, etc. with no friends/family in close proximity.
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Old 11-27-2012, 08:10 AM   #34
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No. I want to leave this state as it is one of the ten worst states to retire in, taxes are very bad and cost of living is very high. I have lived here all my life, feel like I belong here and do like the climate but I really want out. Going somewhere else at this point, not knowing anyone or anything and not being a people person so years after the move I am totally friendless and alone, well that's what keeps me here. Not happy about it but I'm smart enough to know the grass is not greener.
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Old 11-27-2012, 08:12 AM   #35
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In our case, part of the reason for making the move, was financial, to resize/downsize. So in answer to the original question... "Would you? We did, but not without many considerations, some of which were listed here:
Sharing 23 years of Frugal Retirement

Especially if the move is expected to be "permanent", due diligence is in order. Many things can creep out of the woodwork after a decision is made, so it's very important to look at the possible negatives.
.................................................. ...............................................
Quote:
#6
___

Where you live.
Where you're going to live.
Downsizing.
Protecting the surviving spouse.
.................................................. ....
No one can give advice on this, but it's good to think about it anyway.

In our case, we lived in suburbia/exurbia... and compared to where we moved, the actual costs were reduced by about (today's prices) $7,000
House mortgage(extrapolated) $3000
House Taxes $2500
Entertainment, eating out... $1,000
Maintenance/services ....$500
Auto costs.... $600
Shopping/buying for house $800

That may sound like a lot, but in our case, much of the expense amounted to little more that the frills associated with living in a more upscale community, where just about everything from gas to common services like auto and house maintenance services are more expensive.

You can check out the income statistics for US communities by googling
income statistics by city.
From our original home to our current home, the average wages go from from $88K to $41K... in a distance of about 95 miles. In our case, we didn't have to sacrifice services, as is the case in some rural communities... but this is something to consider. Hospitals and specialty care becomes much more important as we age. A tough part about moving (at a later age) is the losing and replacing of social contacts. Very small communities may be somewhat closed for people who aren't naturally outgoing. We spent a fair amount of time... maybe 20 hours, riding around the new town, going into businesses, city hall, hospitals, grocery stores, post offices, government offices, nursing homes, libraries, etc, etc... as well as visiting different neighborhoods, and (in our case), a community college.

If downsizing is a part of your retirement plan, and relocation is being considered, I'd suggest that you take plenty of time to make a choice.

The thought of moving farther away was at one time a consideration. A good friend made the choice to move to a South American Country in an American enclave... for the obvious reason of making the Dollar go farther. In this case it was a bad choice. He (they) could not adapt to the loss of culture and services, and returned within a year.

This is all general stuff, that you surely already knew, but frankly, I hadn't though much about. We "lucked out" in our choices... but much of that was by chance. In retrospect, I would have done more research. As it is, there are some aspects of snowbirding that can be negative, as in certain types of homeowners or condominium associations. Especially in this economy.
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Old 11-27-2012, 08:12 AM   #36
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Three years ago, DW and I left the w*rk world. We built our dream house (DW always wanted to build her own house, and create and live in our own dirt.) in an the Upstate of SC. We knew nobody here. Was it a risk, perhaps. However, it worked out better than expected. We are actively involved in our community. We met great people here. People that are now our best friends.

As an added bonus, our family followed us. Our son and family, moved into the area a year after we did. Our grand daughter is only 30 minutes away! Our daughter just moved in this past summer.

I think with due diligence in advance, and the willingness to put the time in to any new situation (getting involved, reaching out to new people), you can make any new situation work.
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Old 11-27-2012, 09:17 AM   #37
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A definite maybe. We love where we live now.

But the idea of fleeing all that is comfortable here and trying something new for a while is intriguing. Maybe a nice year round temperate climate somewhere in Latin America. Part of the appeal would be that we don't know anyone and the lifestyle and culture would be very different. Our elementary school age kids are getting older though, so I think it is becoming more difficult to uproot them as they develop more friendships here (and we have the Latin American cultural component right here in our neighborhood and school). And we would be leaving behind all of my and DW's siblings and nieces and nephews and our parents who all live within 5-20 minutes. Although sometimes the family proximity makes it difficult to get some distance when you seek it.

With technology and cheap plane tickets, it makes maintaining connections with distant friends and family easier (if you are interested in maintaining those relationships).

Overall, I just don't see enough positives to motivate me to move somewhere else, and there aren't any real negatives to where I am currently, so we'll probably stay put indefinitely. But if there was a compelling reason to go somewhere new and unknown, I would do it. Now would DW go with me...?
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Old 11-27-2012, 10:57 AM   #38
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Based on my experience there is a huge difference in relocating in the military vs. once you are retired. In the military you have a built-in peer and support group whereas in retirement you are likely entirely on your own.
I'm sure that's true for many people, but I seem to be one of the exceptions.
In several of my military moves, I was one of only a few military people in the entire area (sometimes the whole country), and we usually never even met each other. No problems.

Again, when I left my place of assignment at retirement, I went to a city where I had never lived before even for a visit, and adapted easily. DW and I have done it twice again in the last 20 years.

Apparently, there are still some oddballs like us who actually enjoy the prospect of living in a new area.
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Old 11-27-2012, 12:44 PM   #39
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I did it for w*rk 5 different times and never really had a problem with it. I also just pulled the trigger on #6 with a winter home. Don't know a soul at the new place but have met many nice people already.
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Old 11-27-2012, 01:07 PM   #40
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This a timely topic. I live in NYC and I am considering a move to a lower tax state in a warmer climate. I estimate a no income tax state could mean savings of over $150k over the rest of my life, and that assumes investment income only! Although I am single, no kids, this is a tough decision for me. I would miss my friends in NYC and I would be further from my extended family members who all live in the NE.
My idea is that you should probably stay where you are, or keep your eyes open for rent controlled apartments, or almost anything to let you continue living the life you are used to. $150,000 over what's left of your life will likely make no difference anyway.

The 2nd best is Florida. If older people in your current location move to Florida, where do they go? There is a real social difference between the Gulf Coast and South Florida on the Atlantic side.

Last, a fishing pier can be a easy low cost way to get people into your life. Many guys go to their pier almost every day.

Ha
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