thefed
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2005
- Messages
- 2,203
Contentment. Inner peace. Statisfaction. Being well centered...
Whatever you want to call it, THAT is what I'm looking for. Who isn't, right? Right
I seem to never be at an inner peace...if so it doesnt last too long. But why? I feel most of my discontent comes from desires for material things. I KNOW this does not bring happiness, but my body is programmed to lust for things. So I work hard to buy one of these many 'things'....enjoy it for a bit...and then realize that particular 'thing' isn't what makes me happy.
example: Ive been considering buying a house on the lake for weekend getaways. Pretty much just a summer house 1.5 hrs from home, with a fire pit, a dock, a cool florida room with spacious bar, an inlaw suite, etc. I imagine myself sitting around the bar,having a blast with 6 or 7 other people, kids outside by the fire, laughing, eating,enjoying life. I REALLY want something like that. but then i sit back and think that the place wouldnt be so cool if those people werent there with me. It's the PEOPLE that make that daydream enjoyable....and the atmosphere amplifies that.
So my psychological analysis is that i need to start working on my personal relationships more...making them my passion as opposed to work, $$$, retirement, fast cars etc. Dont get me wrong...i LOVE my family...immediate and extended. But I feel like we should be connecting on another level that i've never in my life been able to achieve. am i too selfish? instant gratification for ME trumps all it seems. But it' like a disease!!!
i am NEVER content. I cant come home early from work (3pm) and just relax...play with the kids. Nope. Gotta run here or there to buy a hose or ant poison or to the grocery store or just take a cruise in the Camaro or go do SOMETHING. Something productive always...as i feel i dont have time to waste.im sprinting in this race called life....the so-called marathon. im sprinting toward paying my house off, paying off debt,saving,retiring,THEN relaxing. But i know i never will relax. too greedy for$$$, too much energy. cant goto sleep before 2-ish or i might miss something. gotta check this forum. gotta check weather. gotta check email. gotta look at all online accounts daily for a snapshot of my finances. aaahhhh! better get to bed soon...7am is right around the corner...gotta do those 2 jobs tomorrow,hit the bank,swing by wally world, change the tire on the tractor, tear off shingles from shed and prepare tore-roof.....ahhhh....the cycle continues
where's that inner peace? i think i was at peace when i was at my son's first pro baseball game for his bday last week. but quickly it was snatched away as i got a call from a nagging customer...then the thoughts started up again.
did i mention im a perfectionist? example:a seemingly relaxing hobby of pellet gun target shooting in my backyard turned into an expensive quest to put 5 pellets through the same hole at 25 yards. took a while,but i got er done! it also consumed my life for a solid month...before work,after work,while i had food on the grill....ALL THE TIME. when i get into something, i seemingly go balls-to-the-wall until i mentally drain myself and lose interest.
if youre still reading this ramble you must be bored or something...geez....sounds like a conversation i need to have with a shrink,eh?
i guess there is no point to this post,unless you want to comment
no,im not crazy, i swear. i leave you with a quote:
"The source of all mentally created dissatisfactions appears to stem from the ability to compare and contrast experiences and find reality as one is living it to be less than ideal. The solution is to seek out ways to either make experienced reality conform to the ideal or to lower expectations to the level of the experienced. When one can live in the moment with expectations in harmony with experiences one has achieved the greatest mental contentment possible. "
Whatever you want to call it, THAT is what I'm looking for. Who isn't, right? Right
I seem to never be at an inner peace...if so it doesnt last too long. But why? I feel most of my discontent comes from desires for material things. I KNOW this does not bring happiness, but my body is programmed to lust for things. So I work hard to buy one of these many 'things'....enjoy it for a bit...and then realize that particular 'thing' isn't what makes me happy.
example: Ive been considering buying a house on the lake for weekend getaways. Pretty much just a summer house 1.5 hrs from home, with a fire pit, a dock, a cool florida room with spacious bar, an inlaw suite, etc. I imagine myself sitting around the bar,having a blast with 6 or 7 other people, kids outside by the fire, laughing, eating,enjoying life. I REALLY want something like that. but then i sit back and think that the place wouldnt be so cool if those people werent there with me. It's the PEOPLE that make that daydream enjoyable....and the atmosphere amplifies that.
So my psychological analysis is that i need to start working on my personal relationships more...making them my passion as opposed to work, $$$, retirement, fast cars etc. Dont get me wrong...i LOVE my family...immediate and extended. But I feel like we should be connecting on another level that i've never in my life been able to achieve. am i too selfish? instant gratification for ME trumps all it seems. But it' like a disease!!!
i am NEVER content. I cant come home early from work (3pm) and just relax...play with the kids. Nope. Gotta run here or there to buy a hose or ant poison or to the grocery store or just take a cruise in the Camaro or go do SOMETHING. Something productive always...as i feel i dont have time to waste.im sprinting in this race called life....the so-called marathon. im sprinting toward paying my house off, paying off debt,saving,retiring,THEN relaxing. But i know i never will relax. too greedy for$$$, too much energy. cant goto sleep before 2-ish or i might miss something. gotta check this forum. gotta check weather. gotta check email. gotta look at all online accounts daily for a snapshot of my finances. aaahhhh! better get to bed soon...7am is right around the corner...gotta do those 2 jobs tomorrow,hit the bank,swing by wally world, change the tire on the tractor, tear off shingles from shed and prepare tore-roof.....ahhhh....the cycle continues
where's that inner peace? i think i was at peace when i was at my son's first pro baseball game for his bday last week. but quickly it was snatched away as i got a call from a nagging customer...then the thoughts started up again.
did i mention im a perfectionist? example:a seemingly relaxing hobby of pellet gun target shooting in my backyard turned into an expensive quest to put 5 pellets through the same hole at 25 yards. took a while,but i got er done! it also consumed my life for a solid month...before work,after work,while i had food on the grill....ALL THE TIME. when i get into something, i seemingly go balls-to-the-wall until i mentally drain myself and lose interest.
if youre still reading this ramble you must be bored or something...geez....sounds like a conversation i need to have with a shrink,eh?
i guess there is no point to this post,unless you want to comment
no,im not crazy, i swear. i leave you with a quote:
"The source of all mentally created dissatisfactions appears to stem from the ability to compare and contrast experiences and find reality as one is living it to be less than ideal. The solution is to seek out ways to either make experienced reality conform to the ideal or to lower expectations to the level of the experienced. When one can live in the moment with expectations in harmony with experiences one has achieved the greatest mental contentment possible. "
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